Three 20-something women trying to figure out what it means to be lay, Catholic, and modern all at once.

September 24, 2009

The "What If?" Factor

Continuing our discussion of friendship between men and women, I wanted to bring up something Julian discussed in her post: The "What If"? Factor. Julian said:
I won't go as far as Harry and say that sex is actually the thing that gets in the way of a friendship, but I do find myself always wondering, "What if?" What if something romantic were to bloom? Could something develop? This happens with men that I meet socially... In my experience, there is always a question of "What if?"

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say: does it matter? I don't think so.

Ok, obviously it is a problem if the only reason you are friends with a person is because you hope someday he will wake up and realize that he wants to marry you and you can be happy forever having lots of babies and living a life of bliss.

But the vocation (blessing and cross!) of the single life is one of "openness to the will of God." What does that mean concretely? For me, it means going with the flow, pursuing friendships and seeing where they lead.

All relationships have a progression, and part of that progression in friendships between men and women is a possibility of "something more". But I'm also fairly certain that at some point in that friendship you'll realize (pretty finally) that there is no "what if."

(nota bene: I've added a new "tag" for this series of posts. Find them all here.)

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