Three 20-something women trying to figure out what it means to be lay, Catholic, and modern all at once.

September 5, 2009

Can Men and Women Be Friends? More Thoughts...

Lest I be accused again of not actually getting the conversation started (that's for you, Agatha), I'll post my thoughts on the matter.

In my head, the question has two answers: 1) yes and 2) no. I'm going to be speaking from experience, because, really, that's all I've got here.

In graduate school I was blessed with two really great friends who were both married men in my program. Now, if Aaron Spelling had gotten a hold of this plot, I'm sure it might have gone in another direction than it actually did. (Of course Aaron Spelling would have had to know what theology was!) From the get-go there was never, ever, any question of lines and boundaries. Perhaps because I have been blessed with an older brother, these two gents became like brothers to me, and I was able to talk about anything with them...even my love life! To this day I can still call either of them (and of course their wives!) and talk for a long time. It's been such a huge blessing in my life.

However, I have to say that my experience with single men is another story. Now, I won't go as far as Harry and say that sex is actually the thing that gets in the way of a friendship, but I do find myself always wondering, "What if?" What if something romantic were to bloom? Could something develop? This happens with men that I meet socially, but still happens with some of my single friends from college. In my experience, there is always a question of "What if?" Now, I also don't agree with Harry that it completely ruins the prospect of a friendship. I think it just adds a dimension that doesn't arise in female friendships. Not that one is better than the other, they're just different.

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