Three 20-something women trying to figure out what it means to be lay, Catholic, and modern all at once.

September 24, 2009

The Laws (well, bendable laws) of Attraction

Agatha, I like the "So what?" response to my "What if something develops?" post. It actually calmed me down a significant amount. There really can be no fear about something developing if we are loving as God asks us to love. Perfect love casts out fear (1 John 4:18). Perfect openness to the will of God leaves no room for anxiety. You're right -- my job as a single woman is to try as best as I can to love what God loves and wills for me according to His reason and providence, and that is it.

That being said, I do think that if a single woman and a single man are introduced or meet socially and there is some type of physical attraction present on either (or both) end(s), then the type of relationship which might ensue cannot properly be called a friendship. Even if I were to cast out all anxious hypotheticals in my own head, the fact is that the man is inevitably thinking or feeling either sexual attraction, indifference, or repulsion, and may not be "open to a friendship or open to seeing how things develop." I don't think there is a neutral space in the male-female relationship for friendship like there can be for a female-female relationship. Attraction, and the opportunity or possibility of acting on it, inevitably changes the game.

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