tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19514818876697775912024-03-14T01:26:13.772-04:00The Magdalene Sistersthree women trying to figure out what it means to be catholic, lay, and modern, all at once.Agatha Magdalenehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05224221846886335490noreply@blogger.comBlogger711125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1951481887669777591.post-48528644982190609022011-09-11T21:36:00.001-04:002011-09-11T21:36:47.140-04:00Good Reading for 9/11 and BeyondA <a href="http://www.patheos.com/community/theanchoress/2011/09/11/911-anniversary-linkfest/">Linkfest</a>, courtesy of The Anchoress.Julianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04666783950828939561noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1951481887669777591.post-59122375699774321642011-09-06T20:07:00.001-04:002011-09-06T20:08:21.449-04:00GGIf there is one show that I could (and do watch) on repeat, it's Gilmore Girls. Anyone else? I NEVER get tired of running through the seasons. :)Julianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04666783950828939561noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1951481887669777591.post-17563940045492382232011-09-03T09:01:00.000-04:002011-09-03T09:02:51.121-04:00Tennis and the Priesthood<a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2011/09/03/sports/tennis/priest-officiates-play-from-above-at-us-open.html?_r=1&hp">This</a> article was just too fun not to post! Julianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04666783950828939561noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1951481887669777591.post-32954529317776452362011-08-29T08:20:00.005-04:002011-08-29T12:37:29.535-04:00"Dear friends..."<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-gVYLvV_pYf4/Tlu_TXQoCmI/AAAAAAAAALw/pxM2GYweJwA/s1600/DSCN2784.JPG" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-gVYLvV_pYf4/Tlu_TXQoCmI/AAAAAAAAALw/pxM2GYweJwA/s320/DSCN2784.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5646316897221216866" /></a>
<br /><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-pBeXBW_2pP4/Tlu_SzhkTII/AAAAAAAAALo/dp7K8Ab0STw/s1600/DSCN2781.JPG" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-pBeXBW_2pP4/Tlu_SzhkTII/AAAAAAAAALo/dp7K8Ab0STw/s320/DSCN2781.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5646316887628598402" /></a>
<br /><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-jVoJHE5FaYU/Tlu_Slw6ueI/AAAAAAAAALg/kPTs5tcv2wE/s1600/DSCN2696.JPG" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-jVoJHE5FaYU/Tlu_Slw6ueI/AAAAAAAAALg/kPTs5tcv2wE/s320/DSCN2696.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5646316883934886370" /></a>
<br /><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ddHFmLwNFgQ/Tlu_SobhiqI/AAAAAAAAALY/CKfefUpp-nU/s1600/DSCN2452.JPG" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ddHFmLwNFgQ/Tlu_SobhiqI/AAAAAAAAALY/CKfefUpp-nU/s320/DSCN2452.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5646316884650461858" /></a>
<br />"Dear friends, may no adversity paralyze you. Be neither afraid of the world, nor of the future, nor of your weakness." -- <a href="http://www.vatican.va/holy_father/benedict_xvi/speeches/2011/august/documents/hf_ben-xvi_spe_20110820_veglia-madrid_en.html">The Holy Father on Saturday, August 20, 2011</a>. <div>
<br /></div><div>As I wrote before, I had the privilege and blessing of attending World Youth Day, or Jornada Mundial de la Juventud, in Madrid, Spain. When I was there I was aware that it was a privilege and blessing, although the fruits for my own life seemed far from evident. Along with three colleagues and friends, I was responsible for the safety of 26 of our school's best, brightest, and most beautiful girls. I knew it was going to be a window into parenthood in the first few hours: flying passports, scattered medications, queasiness, uneasiness, and forgetfulness were abounding. This is all of course not to mention the spiritual questions that were directed to us: Why should I believe in this Jesus Christ? What if I doubt God's love? How do you know your vocation? Why is there so much suffering? And of course, there were constant fears on my behalf: Are we safe? Is anyone being pickpocketed? Is this girl going to pass out? Is another Italian teenage boy going to try to kiss my dear student? </div><div>
<br /></div><div>At one point I turned to our school's priest and my dear friend and said, "Are you praying for me? I'm praying for you." And he said, "Dear, this whole trip is the prayer. The getting up early, the walking, the exhaustion." And that was enough for me to table any plan to have a spiritual experience of my own. </div><div>
<br /></div><div>And yet, in His goodness, the Lord gave me a beautiful experience on Saturday night. The Vigil with the Holy Father was ushered in by a massive wind storm that kicked up dust in our eyes. Lightning threatened us every 30 seconds. Rain came in torrents. And yet, the Holy Father continued on, and gave us 20 minutes or so of adoration. In the chaos of the storm, in the sea of 2 million people, the airfield went quiet. And though I only had about 60 seconds to adore Our Lord until someone needed something, I was able to be present to the Lord and He to me, as if we were the only two people there. As the Holy Father urged us to not be afraid of those three things mentioned above -- the world, my fears, and my weaknesses -- I felt that God was speaking directly to my heart. In a moment when all was stormy outside and even inside, all went calm. I have never experienced such a communion before. And I don't know if I will again. But that 60 seconds was more than enough. And its graces are producing bushels of fruit in my life right now, and I'm sure that will continue to in the months to come. </div><div>
<br /></div><div>I hope that you, readers, are experiencing graces, as I offered the chaos up for you! </div><div>
<br /></div><div>
<br /></div><div>
<br /></div>Julianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04666783950828939561noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1951481887669777591.post-68968241614133256472011-08-19T10:18:00.003-04:002011-08-19T11:54:34.666-04:00The State of Marriage + the FamilyPoint:
<br /><blockquote><a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2011/08/14/magazine/the-two-minus-one-pregnancy.html">The Two-Minus One Pregnancy</a> (<span style="font-style: italic;">New York Times</span>)
<br /><a href="http://www.telegraph.co.uk/family/8659494/Meet-the-co-parents-friends-not-lovers.html">Meet the Co-Parents</a>: Friends not Lovers & their children (<span style="font-style: italic;">Telegraph</span>)
<br />
<br /></blockquote>Counter Point:
<br /><center><iframe src="http://player.vimeo.com/video/11560198?title=0&byline=0&portrait=0" frameborder="0" height="225" width="400"></iframe><p><a href="http://vimeo.com/11560198">
<br />This was grace - short film</a> from <a href="http://vimeo.com/andrewlaparra">Andrew Laparra</a> on <a href="http://vimeo.com/">Vimeo</a>.</p></center>
<br />Agatha Magdalenehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05224221846886335490noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1951481887669777591.post-5231676976588964112011-08-12T09:46:00.002-04:002011-08-12T09:52:44.970-04:00Julian's UpdateThis summer has flown by. I only have a few updates, but I think they are worth noting for upcoming conversations: <div>
<br /></div><div>1. I spent late spring and most of summer dating a boy-man (although I didn't know he was a boy-man at the outset). And I just ended things with the boy-man. *<i>Note to boy-men: if you do not intend to pursue a woman romantically, but only platonically, please do not kiss her every time you see her, bring her gifts from your travels, and engage in a daily conversation with her. She's going to think you like her as more than friends. </i></div><div>
<br /></div><div>2. God's grace has been abundant in my life. Last week's Sunday homily was about seeking God in "the storm" (the reading was about Peter on the boat in the storm). The priest said simply, "If you look for God in the storm, you'll find Him. If you don't, you won't." It's been immensely helpful. I'm getting amazing things from Scripture every time I pray with it. Our Lord is so good and generous in giving us words when we don't have them. </div><div>
<br /></div><div>3. I'm off to Spain with 26 students and 3 colleagues for World Youth Day! Please pray for our safety and for the openness of all of our hearts to Christ's call for us. I will keep you all in my prayers and sacrifices. </div><div>
<br /></div><div>
<br /></div><div>All for now. Keep on keepin' on. </div><div>
<br /></div><div>-Jules </div><div>
<br /></div>Julianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04666783950828939561noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1951481887669777591.post-41906829100109849412011-08-01T18:16:00.004-04:002011-08-01T18:28:47.000-04:00Summer JamsHere are a few songs on "repeat" on my playlist. I hope you enjoy them. They are fun to cruise around with the windows down in this summer heat! <div><br /></div><div><iframe width="425" height="349" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/sDstr09NJ5U" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen=""></iframe></div><div><br /></div><div><iframe width="560" height="349" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/QdK8U-VIH_o?rel=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen=""></iframe></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><iframe width="425" height="349" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/wcWSr2GOhFw?rel=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen=""></iframe></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>Julianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04666783950828939561noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1951481887669777591.post-39437819258519051192011-07-29T12:18:00.003-04:002011-07-29T12:27:00.660-04:00The Feast of St. Martha<a href="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/f/fa/Saint_martha.jpg"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 375px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 662px; CURSOR: hand" border="0" alt="" src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/f/fa/Saint_martha.jpg" /></a><br /><br /><div></div><br /><div><br />While there is some debate as to whether Mary Magdalene is the same as Mary-the-sister-of-Martha-and-Lazarus, I don't think there is any debate in the minds of women struggling to walk with Christ that Magdalene and Martha are two of the great examples of womanly virtue in the Gospels and in all of Christianity.<br /><br />Since today is here feast, I wanted to share a quick meditation on St. Martha by one of my favorite Catholic bloggers, Julie Davis of <a href="http://happycatholic.blogspot.com/">Happy Catholic</a>, from her <a href="http://www.patheos.com//Resources/Additional-Resources/St-Martha-Truth-and-Practicality-Julie-Davis-07-29-2011.html">bi-weekly column on Patheos</a>:<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><blockquote>We see again how familiar and friendly Martha is with Jesus. As before, she goes to him with a forthright complaint. She shows great confidence and trust in saying that she is disappointed that he didn't save her brother.<br /><br />Martha also shows that she possesses great faith and understanding in unmistakable terms: "I have come to believe that you are the Messiah, the Son of God, the one who is coming into the world." What an incredible moment that must have been between Jesus and Martha. Martha has come a long way, never losing her focus on Christ even in her grief.<br /><br />Yet, after such a moment, she also doesn't forget her sister, Mary, who is still at home mourning.<br /><br />Martha is both loving and practical to the bone. We have an unmistakable example of that practicality when Jesus is getting ready to raise Lazarus from the dead.</blockquote><br /><br /><a href="http://www.patheos.com/Resources/Additional-Resources/St-Martha-Truth-and-Practicality-Julie-Davis-07-29-2011?offset=1&max=1">Read more.</a> <em>St. Martha, pray for us!</em> </div>Agatha Magdalenehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05224221846886335490noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1951481887669777591.post-33440943655513932492011-07-28T07:11:00.008-04:002011-07-28T16:55:11.509-04:00A Matter of ConvenienceA reader emailed us with the following prompt: <div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" border-collapse: collapse; color: rgb(102, 0, 0); line-height: 19px; font-size:13px;"><em><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#3333FF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">My sister and good friend have come to the conclusion that even</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#3333FF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">if you meet a guy who likes you and it's reasonable to date, if it's not</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#3333FF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">super convenient they won't go for it. It's become all about convenience</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#3333FF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">and what's easy. </span></span></div></em></span></div><div><br /></div><div>She also added these examples: </div><div><ul><li><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#3366FF;">The guy regularly wants to "hang out" but isn't actively pursuing obvious dates.</span></i></li><li><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#3366FF;">Wants to meet at a designated place instead of picking you up.</span></i></li><li><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#3366FF;">Continues to contact you via text message instead of calling you. </span></i></li></ul></div><div><br /></div><div>All in all she concluded that to move from casually contacting to seriously dating a woman makes demands on a man to mature and to open himself to another person. Both of these things are challenging, can be uncomfortable, open one up to vulnerability and, quite frankly, create an investment of his time, money, and schedule that can look quite scary. </div><div><br /></div><div>As lonely as it can be sometimes, the single life <i>can</i> be quite convenient. Your time is your own, your resources are at your own disposal, and you can decide when and where to give of yourself, be present to and with others, and only really risk love or rejection when you feel ready. </div><div><br /></div><div>My own thoughts on this are complex and contradictory. On the one hand, I have experienced the examples our reader posed on numerous occasions, and I even had to find the courage to talk to a man who was casually contacting me to ask what his intentions were. In this case, I risked rejection when I said that I had feelings for him, while he was just content to casually keep texting and "hanging out," and had no intention of exclusively dating me. Other men have responded when I've asked them to move from texting to calling me, and really just did not know any better that this is what a woman wants. I blame that one on technology feeding our laziness, or just becoming normative. However, if a guy (or a girl, for that matter), is disciplined in virtue (which is far from convenient) in little things, he or she can easily say "yes" to inconvenience in other things, like relationships. </div><div><br /></div><div>But on the other hand, a dear friend of mine told me a few months ago that it was only after meeting a certain woman that he "knew what it meant to be a man," and that this woman, by her very existence, made him want to be everything a man should be. He suddenly realized that the right woman made him want to move beyond his own wants and desires. He did the most inconvenient thing: picked up and moved across the country to be with her and find a job to provide for her, as he was so convicted about wanting to care for her. So, maybe it is that it's just wrong until you meet the right person. Maybe we aren't the right woman for him (and he is not the right man) if he's not working for it. And that, readers, is just an inconvenient truth. </div><div><br /></div><div> </div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div></div>Julianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04666783950828939561noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1951481887669777591.post-60510775685579034182011-07-22T13:33:00.002-04:002011-07-22T13:35:11.144-04:00Feast of Our Patroness<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-YEYt7tDVOUM/Tim0nBe63yI/AAAAAAAAALQ/kziQzjUJLRY/s1600/magdalene-1.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 212px; height: 320px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-YEYt7tDVOUM/Tim0nBe63yI/AAAAAAAAALQ/kziQzjUJLRY/s320/magdalene-1.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5632231391509536546" /></a><br />Happy Feast of Mary Magdalene. May she continue to bless us sisters, our readers, and our families! <div><br /></div><div>Photo from the cover of this month's <i>Magnificat</i>. Found <a href="http://www.patheos.com/community/theanchoress/2011/07/06/holy-healing-holy-art/">here</a>. </div><div><br /></div>Julianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04666783950828939561noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1951481887669777591.post-61974025566327559672011-07-21T18:47:00.003-04:002011-07-21T19:01:26.026-04:00Oh My Goodness. Do I Like Clothes or What?So, I went to the mall today to look at shoes for my upcoming trip to Spain, where I'll be walking countless kilometers through Madrid for World Youth Day, and of course I got completely sidetracked and distracted by the a-dorable clothes in the windows of all of the stores. I love the upcoming fall fashions: ponchos, long dresses, and yes, even faux fur (in moderation, of course!). But the question still remains: <a href="http://themagdalenesisters.blogspot.com/2011/07/on-being-more-generous.html">do I need them</a>? <div><br /></div><div>The answer still remains no. When I brushed by the mannequins, I remembered my niece, my goddaughter, my parents, my students, my desire to explore photography, the homeless person on the bridge that I drive every morning, and of course, Mother Church. And I remembered that virtue is hard. That is means saying no to yourself in simple and in grave matters. It's forged in the day to day activities of our lives. </div><div><br /></div><div>I still need to address generosity with my time. I still need to look at purity of heart, pride, and a lack of discipline. But for now, I'm able to look at beautiful clothing and think of other people. And today was a big step in moving in the direction I'd like to be in. </div><div><br /></div><div><br /><div><br /></div><div><br /></div></div>Julianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04666783950828939561noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1951481887669777591.post-83892286320535660352011-07-05T15:02:00.002-04:002011-07-05T15:20:47.706-04:00On Being More GenerousSummer affords me extra time for reflection, which can be both therapeutic and totally overwhelming for me. I look up close at the parts of my life that need organization, discipline, and well, to be spruced up. With any close examination of the self comes cringing at what is made visible. In any event, it's been becoming increasingly clear to me that as a single person, the virtue of generosity is one that I need to particularly strengthen. (This is not to say that single people are not generous -- it is truly a pointed commentary on myself at this moment in my life, and I happen to be single). <div><br /></div><div>As Christians we're called to be generous with our time, talent, and treasure. I'd like to think I have the talent portion covered, in that I try to exhaust myself in my vocation as a teacher both inside and outside of the classroom, and well beyond any boundaries set by the school calendar. Of course there is always room to improve in that area, but for now, I'm going to table the "talent" portion of this venture. </div><div><br /></div><div>Generosity with time. In order to be more generous with my time, I need to be disciplined with the use of my time. This means that first and foremost, I must stick to a prayer schedule. While of course this schedule must be flexible to meet the demands of the present moment, it also should be rigorously adhered to. Giving time to God seems like the first logical step in the process. But if I think seriously about my life on any given day, I could gain back significant time if I monitored how long I spend perusing the internet or flipping through channels on the tube. Even if I tell myself it will only be for a moment, I inevitably lose precious moments that could be better used in the service of my vocation, my family, or my friends. It's quite simple, and demands my full attention and will. Purposeful internet use and leisure time involving the television is something I'd like to incorporate into my daily schedule. </div><div><br /></div><div>Generosity with treasure. Well, I always joke about working as a teacher and that while we don't get paid in monetary means, I do get paid in other ways. In reality though, if I think about what I'm called to spend my money on (and who it should be spent on), I could easily cringe at careless spending on myself that could be better used (and even better used for things that I actually need rather than want). In an effort to kick this generosity into gear, I've decided to take a pledge, and I ask my sisters to hold me accountable. <b>As of today, July 5, 2011, I will not buy myself clothing or accessories for one full calendar year.</b> (I realize moms who have children are used to such sacrifices and might laugh at this!) Now, there are some notable exceptions that are necessities: I am in desperate need of running sneakers, socks of all sorts, and in the fall I will need to replace some worn out shoes. But, I am not in need of clothing for work or for leisure. I realize that for someone who likes to shop, likes to look fashionable, and works in an environment in which my image is (unfortunately) part of the way into keeping students interested, this is going to be challenging. But in reality, it's absolutely necessary in order for me to be more generous with my money. I'm really excited about the challenge and will be prayerful about what it will do for myself and for others. Thanks in advance for your encouragement, and for pointing out when I've got to sew back on a button or fix a hem! </div>Julianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04666783950828939561noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1951481887669777591.post-384624195301412932011-06-29T09:04:00.001-04:002011-06-29T09:04:00.387-04:00The Wisdom of Mrs. FischerOh boy oh boy oh boy do I love <a href="http://simchafisher.wordpress.com/">Simcha Fishcer</a>. She blogs. She writes for the National Catholic Register. She raises a troupe of kids. <a href="http://simchafisher.wordpress.com/2010/09/13/pants-a-manifesto-2/">She wears pants.</a> I'd like to give some sort of caveat, like: "I don't always agree with her, but I find her compelling" but the truth is, I usually do agree with her, and don't find her compelling, I find her <a href="http://simchafisher.wordpress.com/faqses-2/">hilarious</a> and filled with common sense. Like:<br /><blockquote><br />+ Also, some men never think twice about marriage or babies until they find themselves 90% of the way there with the right woman—and then they step up and amaze everyone. So what you see when you’re dating is not necessarily exactly the same as what you’ll get when you’re married. And man and women grow and improve during the life of a marriage, too. The truth is, it’s kind of a crap shoot. We can make reasonable choices, but much about relationships is unpredictable... --<a href="http://www.ncregister.com/blog/should-i-marry-him/">Should I Marry Him</a><br /><br />+ "I’m not, as I mentioned, especially hung up on men opening doors, specifically. But the idea that men do some special things for women, and women do some special things for men—sounds like a plan to make life tolerable." --<a href="http://www.ncregister.com/blog/the-art-of-getting-hysterical-about-gender">The Art of Getting Hysterical About Gender</a><br /><br /><br />+ "Poverty saves you from foolish expenditures (unless you’re foolish enough to go into debt over things you don’t need): never once have we tasted the bitterness of buyer’s remorse as we survey the bill for the wrong kind of premium cell phone, useless time share condo, regrettable L-shaped leather couch in sea foam green, or one of those luxury alligators. Thanks, poverty!" --<a href="http://www.ncregister.com/blog/the-blessings-of-poverty">The Blessings of Poverty</a><br /><br />+ "Only people with a mental illness would truly believe that you can achieve anything. People who actually get things done are the people who look at themselves and say, “Okey-doke. There are some things I’m good at, and many thousands more things that I am and always will be utterly unqualified to do. Starting tomorrow, my job is do the least amount of thrashing around and wasting of my parent’s tuition money as possible, while I figure out the difference between my very few strengths and my billions of weaknesses.<br /><br />"'Then, I need to figure out if there’s any possible way I can do what it turns out I’m good at, and also be a decent human being. If possible, it would be wonderful if the things I’m good at, and which allow me to be decent, are also things which will earn me a salary.'<br /><br />"And after you have that conversation with yourself, and preferably after you come up with a better plan than scrawling “FIX LIFE” on your memo pad, then you can go out drinking with your buddies.<br /><br />"Because here’s the deal, you poor deluded masses of inchoate ambition: Freedom is <span style="font-style:italic;">for</span> something." --<a href="http://www.ncregister.com/blog/dear-graduates/">My Dear Graduates</a></blockquote><br /><br />And don't miss a jewel of a piece, which is so fitting for us at TMS, <a href="http://www.ncregister.com/blog/what-is-a-catholic-feminist/">What is a Catholic Feminist?</a>Agatha Magdalenehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05224221846886335490noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1951481887669777591.post-63064561029464395982011-06-28T08:49:00.004-04:002011-06-28T15:34:08.725-04:00The Heart of the MatterAgatha and I had a great discussion on Sunday night. Well, we have great discussions most nights. But the topic of this one turned to the topic of the heart and how various women understand how they are to guard it from or give it to a man. Naturally, as with all matters like this one, we didn't come to a resolution, but we did arrive at various insights from examining our own hearts and those of women we know. <div><br /></div><div><b>The extremes: </b></div><div><br /></div><div>1. "Hi, my name is ______. Here is my heart! Here is all of me!" I think some women tend to go all in when meeting someone. There is a natural desire for women to be SEEN. "See me. Accept me. Love me." We want to be viewed in full and accepted as is. Why risk spending time with someone or investing in someone if he's not going to love the most important parts of you? These types of thoughts feed into a natural inclination to disclose parts of our heart that are the deepest so as test a man's fight or flight instinct with us. </div><div><br /></div><div>The pros of this? There is a real openness to dialogue and a willingness to be vulnerable. The negatives? You're asking too much too fast, risking significant rejection, and failing to help a man grow in the masculine virtue of working to earn your heart. </div><div><br /></div><div>2. "Hi, my name is _____. That's all you're going to get from me." Some women completely close their hearts off from men. The reasons vary: vulnerability is the scariest thing in the world; previous relationships have left scars; we carry an idealistic sense that men need to fight these huge battles to win us. This is without mentioning that the art of flirting and the art of opening up is very difficult to master! </div><div><br /></div><div>The pros? Hearts should be guarded. They are our most precious gift, and should only be given to men that we understand to be worthy to view them. The cons? We can easily set up these impossible gauntlets for men to run through in order to get a peak into our hearts, and by that time, if they actually get through the maze, they might just be too exhausted to continue. </div><div><br /></div><div><b>The suggestion:</b> </div><div><br /></div><div>Agatha and I did agree that the virtue of chastity is a good model to follow in terms of revealing one's heart (and this goes for men, too!). Chastity is not abstinence, but is also does not clearly permit anything to be fair game. As one grows more intimate with someone at various stages of a relationship, one measures out appropriate gestures to indicate that growth. Likewise, a woman need not give her heart to a boyfriend in the way she would to a fiance, or a fiancé in the way she will in marriage twenty years down the road. There is growth and an ever-deepening revelation to be done. </div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>Julianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04666783950828939561noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1951481887669777591.post-21559534968754191792011-06-22T22:06:00.003-04:002011-06-22T22:22:54.948-04:00If I Had a Million Dollars...Well, you don't need a million dollars to get these fun summer trends. But you do need a few. But only a few! Agatha and I were talking about how much we love staying fashionable for a cheap buck. Here are a few suggestions to stay cool, stylish, and modest all at once: <div><br /></div><div><b>1. The Maxi Dress</b>: I just picked up two at<a href="http://www.tjmaxx.com/how-we-do-it/"> T.J. Maxx</a> for a combined total of $40. One was a brand I'd' never heard of, but another was Max Studio. Both are adorable, very comfortable -- and as always with loose material that is somewhat structured -- flattering. </div><div><br /></div><div><b>2. Bandeaus:</b> Sometimes tank tops under dresses or other shirts are cumbersome, hot, and leave lines. I'm a huge fan of these easy layering pieces and picked up a few at <a href="http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/free-people-scalloped-lace-bandeau/2957273">Nordstrom</a>. They're also available at <a href="http://www1.macys.com/catalog/product/index.ognc?ID=556506&CategoryID=3481">Macy's</a> and <a href="http://www.target.com/s/bandeau-bra">Target</a>. </div><div><br /></div><div><b>3. Wrap-around scarves.</b> I love this trend, because sometimes you want some color around your neck, but a necklace just won't work. Regular winter and fall scarves are hard to arrange with summer fabrics (I think I've officially lost our male readers at this point). My suggestion is the <a href="http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/lulu-floral-print-infinity-scarf/3175324?origin=category&resultback=5868">Junior Department at Nordstrom </a>and <a href="http://www.loft.com/loft/product/LOFT-Shoes-%26-Accessories/LOFT-Scarves/Colorblock-Infinity-Loop-Scarf/186895?colorExplode=false&skuId=89759196&productPageType=fullPriceProducts&defaultColor=8668">Ann Taylor Loft</a> (educators get a 15% discount!)</div><div><br /></div><div>Happy Summer Shopping!!! </div><div><br /></div>Julianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04666783950828939561noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1951481887669777591.post-52155348510756156922011-06-19T08:40:00.004-04:002011-06-19T09:00:37.689-04:00Father's DayFather's Day is a wonderful day to remember our dads and to thank them for all that they've given us. The Magdalene Sisters have been especially formed in our femininity by the attentiveness, gentleness, and at times real, tough love of our own fathers. I'd bet that Agatha and Edith would agree that to make it as a lay, Catholic, and modern woman in this world, a solid relationship with your father (or a father-figure) is a key ingredient, or at least, is something that can only help you navigate this life. <div><br /></div><div>It seems to me that this is only so because a woman must be tenderly reminded of her beauty, worth, and gifts that have been given to her by her heavenly Father, and a dad who is able to model that love, as best he can, is a great mirror of what a filial relationship with God looks like. There is so much I owe to my own dad, who not explicitly with words of faith or theology, but instead with human virtue, showed me that I am good, beautiful, and a prize to be won. (In fact, my dad often used quotes from The Godfather to convey this, telling me that I "am the hunted one," in terms of being pursed by men instead of doing the pursuing, which is a reference to a character who feels he is going to be gunned down. Oh well. It worked!)</div><div><br /></div><div>A father or a father-figure is a gift in modeling for us our adoption as sons and daughters of God, which Christ ultimately gives us. </div><div><br /></div><div><blockquote/?do not="" let="" your="" hearts="" be="" you="" have="" faith="" i="" also="" in="" my="" s="" house="" there="" are="" many="" if="" were="" would="" told="" that="" am="" going="" to="" prepare="" a="" place="" for="" and="" go="" will="" come="" back="" again="" take="" so="" where="" may="" leave=""></blockquote/?do></div><div><blockquote>Do not let your hearts be troubled. You have faith in God; have faith also in me. In my Father's house there are many dwelling places. If there were not, would I have told you that I am going to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back again and take you to myself, so that where I am you also may be. Where I am going, you know the way. I will not leave you orphans.</blockquote></div><div><br /></div><div>Jn. 14:1-3; 14-18</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>Happy Father's Day to all of our fathers, priestly fathers, and men who have convinced us that we are daughters of God! </div>Julianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04666783950828939561noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1951481887669777591.post-18959159322663506712011-05-22T07:45:00.004-04:002011-05-23T21:49:52.355-04:00Crushin'My students readily laugh at me, and for good reason. The other day we were reading an essay by Gilbert Meilander entitled, "I Want to Burden My Loved Ones," on the question of advanced directives. One sentence just particularly jumped out at me as I was reading aloud to them, and I said, "Do you see now, ladies, why I have a 'brain crush' on this man?" My students all nodded in agreement, and one girl also exclaimed that she, too, was smitten. <div><br /></div><div>To any observer of my classroom, the term "brain crush" might seem like an odd phrase. But for my part in my classroom, I have designated various types of "crushes" that I have. </div><div><br /></div><div>1 . <b>The brain crush</b>. <i>An obvious admiration for someone's intellect, philosophy, or ability to craft words in a way that rouse the mind and touch the heart</i>. Such examples are: Aristotle, C.S. Lewis, Father Richard Neuhaus, Karol Wojtyla, Pope Benedict XVI, Gilbert Meilander, Charles Krauthammer, and Helen Alvare. My students are well-versed in my "BC's" as we now collectively call them, and I'm proud that we now share some. </div><div><br /></div><div>2. <b>The spiritual crush</b>. <i>An affinity for another person's spirituality, devotion, or relationship with Our Lord.</i> These crushes manifest themselves in person's writing as well as dispositions in contemplation and action. St. John of the Cross, Jean-Pierre de Caussade, Elizabeth Leseur, Mother Teresa, Caryll Houselander all come to mind. However, three priests from my undergraduate institution come to mind, as well as a priest who I work with, the two Magdalene Sisters, and a dear mentor in Opus Dei. My crushes here are numerous, but never fickle. </div><div><br /></div><div>3. <b>The girl crush.</b> <i>The recognition of the feminine genius manifested in another woman.</i> I have a "girl crush" on all of the women who I work with in the <a href="http://www.artofbeingawoman.blogspot.com/">Art of Being a Woman</a>, my godmother's mother, 4 colleagues, my friend from college who is a Dominican sister, my mother, a friend with an ill husband, and even some of my students. Each incarnates gentle strength and beauty in a unique way, and I can only dream of partially reflecting their light. Oh, the Magdalene Sisters go here, too. </div><div><br /></div><div>4. <b>The real crush</b>. I don't need to define this. And I won't give away who mine are, just yet. :) </div><div><br /></div><div>Who do you "crush" on? </div>Julianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04666783950828939561noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1951481887669777591.post-58174447496012003042011-05-14T18:54:00.004-04:002011-05-14T19:04:10.299-04:00It's Been AwhileWell, as I told Agatha the other day on my porch, it's been awhile since I've posted. I could blame work: stacks of grading just keep getting bigger. I could blame my social life: it's been filled with coffee dates, drink dates, softball games, and work outings. I could blame any number of things. But really, I just have wanted to process my life in silence. <div><br /></div><div>When we started this blog, nearly three years ago, I was just entering the "real world" after graduating with a Master's degree. There was so much to navigate: living in a new city, dating (and oh how funny those stories were), figuring out what a single life was supposed to look like, learning how to deal with bosses and colleagues, and so much more. </div><div><br /></div><div>But now, as I get older, some of those experiences have given me answers to the questions I was previously asking, so I'm not really asking them anymore! Sure, I'm still single, but more mature and settled in my adulthood. I am still at the same job, but confident in how I have been deepening my experiences there and growing as a teacher and woman in Christ. </div><div><br /></div><div>After a silent retreat earlier this year, I've begun to wonder whether or not to publicly process my intimate thoughts here. To be sure, I'm taken much more to prayer, and so maybe that is why I have been silent. </div><div><br /></div><div>So, time will tell whether or not I get chatty on here again. For the time being, I keep you in my prayers! </div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>Julianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04666783950828939561noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1951481887669777591.post-5722591841791576302011-05-13T08:32:00.000-04:002011-05-13T13:56:13.609-04:00Loves by Scott CairnsI was introduced to the poet Scott Cairns by a friend and classmate of Julian's who is undergoing a dangerous surgery today. We'd love it, if you can, to say a quick prayer for him, his wife, his surgeons, and his family.<br /><br /><br /><br /><em>Magdalen’s Epistle</em><br />from <em>Loves</em> by Scott Cairns (<a href="http://www.poetryfoundation.org/poem/177151">via</a>)<br /><br /><blockquote>Of Love’s discrete occasions, we <br />observe sufficient catalogue, <br />a likely-sounding lexicon<br /><br /><br />pronounced so as to implicate<br />a wealth of difference, where reclines <br />instead a common element,<br /><br /><br />itself quite like those elements <br />partaken at the table served <br />by Jesus on the night he was<br /><br /><br />betrayed—like those in that the bread <br />was breakable, the wine was red<br />and wet, and met the tongue with bright,<br /><br /><br />intoxicating sweetness, quite <br />like ... wine. None of what I write arrives <br />to compromise that sacrament,<br /><br /><br />the mystery of spirit graved<br />in what is commonplace and plain—<br />the broken, brittle crust, the cup.<br /><br /><br />Quite otherwise, I choose instead <br />to bear again the news that each, <br />each was still itself, substantial<br /><br /><br />in the simplest sense. By now, you<br />will have learned of Magdalen, a name <br />recalled for having won a touch<br /><br /><br />of favor from the one we call<br />the son of man, and what you’ve heard <br />is true enough. I met him first<br /><br /><br />as, mute, he scribbled in the dust <br />to shame some village hypocrites <br />toward leaving me unbloodied,<br /><br /><br />if ill-disposed to taking up <br />again a prior circumstance.<br />I met him in the house of one<br /><br /><br />who was a Pharisee and not <br />prepared to suffer quietly<br />my handling of the master’s feet.<br /><br /><br />Much later, in the garden when, <br />having died and risen, he spoke <br />as to a maid and asked me why<br /><br /><br />I wept. When, at any meeting<br />with the Christ, was I not weeping? <br />For what? I only speculate<br /><br /><br />—brief inability to speak,<br />a weak and giddy troubling near <br />the throat, a wash of gratitude.<br /><br /><br />And early on, I think, some slight <br />abiding sense of shame, a sop <br />I have inferred more recently<br /><br /><br />to do without. Lush poverty!<br />I think that this is what I’m called <br />to say, this mild exhortation<br /><br /><br />that one should still abide all love’s <br />embarrassments, and so resist <br />the new temptation—dangerous,<br /><br /><br />inexpedient mask—of shame.<br />And, well, perhaps one other thing: <br />I have received some little bit<br /><br /><br />about the glib divisions which <br />so lately have occurred to you <br />as right, as necessary, fit<br /><br /><br />That the body is something less <br />than honorable, say, in its <br />... appetites? That the spirit is<br /><br /><br />something pure, and—if all goes well—<br />potentially unencumbered <br />by the body’s bawdy tastes.<br /><br /><br />This disposition, then, has led <br />to a banal and pious lack <br />of charity, and, worse, has led<br /><br /><br />more than a few to attempt some <br />soul-preserving severance—harsh <br />mortifications, manglings, all<br /><br /><br />manner of ritual excision <br />lately undertaken to prevent <br />the body’s claim upon the heart,<br /><br /><br />or mind, or (blasphemy!) spirit—<br />whatever name you fix upon <br />the supposéd bodiless.<br /><br /><br />I fear that you presume—dissecting <br />the person unto something less <br />complex. I think that you forget<br /><br /><br />you are not Greek. I think that you <br />forget the very issue which<br />induced the Christ to take on flesh.<br /><br /><br />All loves are bodily, require<br />that the lips part, and press their trace <br />of secrecy upon the one<br /><br /><br />beloved—the one, or many, endless <br />array whose aspects turn to face<br />the one who calls, the one whose choice<br /><br /><br />it was one day to lift my own<br />bruised body from the dust, where, it seems <br />to me, I must have met my death,<br /><br /><br />thereafter, this subsequent life <br />and late disinclination toward <br />simple reductions in the name<br /><br /><br />of Jesus, whose image I work <br />daily to retain. I have kissed <br />his feet. I have looked long<br /><br /><br />into the trouble of his face, <br />and met, in that intersection, <br />the sacred place—where body<br /><br /><br />and spirit both abide, both yield, <br />in mutual obsession. Yes,<br />if you’ll recall your Hebrew word.<br /><br /><br />just long enough to glimpse in its<br />dense figure power to produce<br />you’ll see as well the damage Greek<br /><br /><br />has wrought upon your tongue, stolen <br />from your sense of what is holy, <br />wholly good, fully animal—<br /><br /><br /><em>the body</em> which he now prepares. </blockquote>Agatha Magdalenehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05224221846886335490noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1951481887669777591.post-50948104676301829402011-05-11T11:08:00.006-04:002011-05-11T12:32:17.386-04:00Linkfest<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-_IjhSDnAR6Q/TbXQKXdoFVI/AAAAAAAAMCk/UF8BkDrRWcU/s1600/Noli+me+tangere+1.jpg"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 516px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 630px; CURSOR: hand" border="0" alt="" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-_IjhSDnAR6Q/TbXQKXdoFVI/AAAAAAAAMCk/UF8BkDrRWcU/s1600/Noli+me+tangere+1.jpg" /></a><br /><br />I've got a whole pile of links waiting to be posted, so here you go:<br /><br /><strong>Neat analysis </strong>of the first of Titian's famous <em>Noli Me Tangere</em> (above) paintings shows that originally Christ was dressed as a gardener, and his back was turned to Magdalene. <a href="http://idlespeculations-terryprest.blogspot.com/2011/04/titian-noli-me-tangere.html">Read more here.</a><br /> <br /><strong>It was once looked down upon to have a career.</strong> Then it was bad to not have a career and have lots of kids. What are we supposed to think anymore? <a href="http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704461304576216651515154140.html?mod=rss_Books">Virginia Postrel discusses this in the WSJ</a>. <strong>Related: </strong>Is the male-female wage gap <a href="http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704415104576250672504707048.html">a myth</a>? (via <a href="http://www.firstthings.com/blogs/firstthoughts/2011/04/13/is-the-male-female-wage-gap-a-myth/"><em>First Things</em></a>)<br /> <br /><strong>We've quoted and discussed</strong> much of Kay Hynowitz's work before. Here's a <a href="http://www.nationalreview.com/articles/262899/dude-be-man-interview?page=1">interesting interview</a> from earlier this spring about her controversial new book <em><a href="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0465018424/ref=nosim/nationalreviewon">Manning Up: How the Rise of Women Turned Men into Boys</a></em>. <strong>Related</strong>: Read her <a href="http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704409004576146321725889448.html">WSJ excerpt</a> from the book.<br /> <br /><strong>Don't blame Ambercrombie </strong>if your girls dressing sluttily. The blame starts with the parents who fund them. <a href="http://piadesolenni.com/what-in-the-hell-is-wrong-with-us/">So argues Pia de Solenni.</a> And while I tend to agree, I don't think they really account enough for the profound influence of advertising and peer pressure. <strong>Related:</strong> One-third of clothes marketed to young girls are "sexy" <a href="http://www.theatlantic.com/life/archive/2011/05/one-third-of-clothes-marketed-to-young-girls-are-sexy/238672/">according to a Kenyon College Study</a> (via <em>The Atlantic</em>).<br /><br /><strong>Since we've all been a bridesmaid </strong>way way way too many times, I wanted to suggest to you ladies this cool new service from bridesmaid company Dessy. Called <a href="http://thebridesguide.marthastewartweddings.com/2011/05/fashion-news-for-your-bridesmaids.html">New Maid</a> you can send in your old bridesmaid dresses, and they will give you a coupon for 30% to 50% off one of their lovely LBDs. Which you really can wear again.<br /> <br /><strong>James Matthew Wilson </strong>has some thoughts on college administrations counseling students <a href="http://www.frontporchrepublic.com/2011/04/counselling-in-pornland/">to live chastely</a>. <br /> <br />And, after all that heavy stuff, here's a little fun via <a href="http://xkcd.com/896/">the webcomic xkcd</a>:<br /> <br /><a href="http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/marie_curie.png"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 471px; height: 782px;" src="http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/marie_curie.png" border="0" alt="" /></a>Agatha Magdalenehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05224221846886335490noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1951481887669777591.post-4733204735880319022011-05-10T13:40:00.003-04:002011-05-10T13:43:15.867-04:00Happy Birthday Jules!<center style="PADDING-BOTTOM: 2px; LINE-HEIGHT: 0px"><a href="http://pinterest.com/pin/107597/" target="_blank"><img border="0" src="http://d30opm7hsgivgh.cloudfront.net/upload/107597_CFj5VCO9_c.jpg" width="500" /></a></center><br /><center><br /><div style="PADDING-BOTTOM: 0px; FLOAT: left; PADDING-TOP: 0px"><br /><p style="COLOR: #76838b; FONT-SIZE: 10px" align="center">Source: <a style="COLOR: #76838b; FONT-SIZE: 10px; TEXT-DECORATION: underline" href="http://wetbehindthears.com/post/736129319/weeeeee-via-imfullofbees">wetbehindthears.com</a> via <a style="COLOR: #76838b; FONT-SIZE: 10px; TEXT-DECORATION: underline" href="http://pinterest.com/ohjoy/" target="_blank">Joy</a> on <a style="COLOR: #76838b; TEXT-DECORATION: underline" href="http://pinterest.com/" target="_blank">Pinterest</a></p></div></center><br /> <br /> <br />I wish I had something clever to say for your birthday. Let it be simply known that you never fail in generoisty of friendship, we can always count on your prayers, your support, your love. And we're not really sure how we were so lucky to get a friend like you!<br /><br />--Agatha and EdithAgatha Magdalenehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05224221846886335490noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1951481887669777591.post-73409098230802892492011-05-03T07:00:00.000-04:002011-05-03T07:00:14.030-04:00Book Review: How to Get to I Do by Amy Bonaccorso<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-wK0iX52GLfw/Tb9x9QfQ2FI/AAAAAAAAATg/gP51uNfwDQA/s1600/how%2Bto%2Bget%2Bto.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 205px; height: 320px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-wK0iX52GLfw/Tb9x9QfQ2FI/AAAAAAAAATg/gP51uNfwDQA/s320/how%2Bto%2Bget%2Bto.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5602321758684239954" /></a><br /><br /><br />With all the glory and beauty of the royal wedding fresh on our brains, there seems no better time to share with you the latest book on dating and marriage on my shelf. <a href=" http://amybonaccorso.com/">Amy Bonaccorso's</a> <span style="font-style:italic;">How to Get to I Do: A Dating Guide of Catholic Women </span>published by Servant Books is a must-read for our Catholic sisters or any of our sisters who are seeking a God-centered marriage to a good man. I knew as soon as I saw the very name “Bonaccorso” that I would be in for a treat. Although my Italian is rusty, my training in Latin reminds me that "bona‟ means good and "corso‟ means way – so I felt confident that her words would be a "good way‟ to follow. And she did not disappoint, after all she successfully navigated the crazy dating world in DC!<br /><br />Amy writes a witty, humorous, and very honest how-to guide for young women who are nearly in despair as they face the increasingly insane (and oftentimes seriously scary) world of dating – including Catholic dating. The book is different from other Catholic dating books because it is more realistic, modern, and often has little sections from her husband weighing in with a male voice, which is always helpful for us ladies who are constantly wondering what the men we fall for are thinking! She reminds us that to find a good man, we need to involve ourselves in social situations that will attract them like joining faith-based groups, practicing the hobbies and activities you love, and having no fear to be yourself. She encourages women to be hopeful and courageous, after all God does not want you to be a doormat for men to walk all over (see page 112 for Amy‟s take!)<br /><br />Bonaccorso starts with an interesting distinction between "dating‟ and "courtship.‟ We often hear courtship praised by many of our Catholic and non-Catholic Christian compatriots as the only redeemable way to meet your future spouse. After all, isn't dating for the promiscuous, secular world? I've even heard that if you don't have sex after the third date, a man will dump you. Why should he pay for all those dinners and not get something in return? Isn't that the dating mentality? Mrs. Bonaccorso doesn't think so (that's right, she's a recent Mrs. who wrote this book to let us all know the secrets that do in fact work in finding Mr. Fabulous!) And for the record, I don‟t think dating necessarily promotes promiscuity either, but it can be tough and discouraging to see so many men who do and who seem to expect sex in return for dinner (seriously, I've met that guy). <br /><br />What Amy does not like about the courtship mentality is that it often relies on fathers to choose what man they should marry regardless of her age. According to Bonaccorso, this simply is not realistic: “A thirty-five-year-old professional woman has every right to ask her father‟s opinion about a man, but she has no business asking to him to manage her relationships for her.” (p. 7) <br /><br />Although I am still unsure on the actual distinction that Amy is making between "dating‟ and "courtship‟ I think I can see the point here: the courtship mentality, at least in my experience, can sometimes lead to an over-idealistic and often time unrealistic view of marriage that can actual destroy a relationship because of unfulfilled (and unfulfillable) expectations. But she is adamant that your family and friends should have no objections to your potential spouse and that he should be incorporated in your social circles of friends and family and vice versa. After all, if he isolates you from those who love you, that is a major red flag and you should run away as fast as you possibly can. <br /><br />Amy also gives touches on some subjects that we don't think about don't like to think about, like: don't be afraid to attack the issue of finances with a future spouse. What's your debt and his? What would it be combined? What's your plan for paying it off? Let's be honest, many marriages end tragically because of financial struggles. She minces no words: you must be assertive in asking your future spouse about this aspect of your lives. I could not agree more. When I was engaged (and thank God I did not get married!) I found out only weeks before the intended marriage that Peter had very staggering debt. If we had married – that would have ruined our combined credit and set us up for a lifetime of hardship (not to mention the fact that he was not honest about it in the first place!) <br /><br />So much of Amy's book resonated with me – even at times bringing me to tears. For example, she tells us to beware of certain "types‟ of men who prey on good women like "the dream weaver‟ who is hypersensitive, always makes you feel like you need to walk on eggshells, or seems mentally unstable. (Could she have described my ex-fiance any more accurately?) She warns of deceptive men who pretend to respect and uphold your chastity but actually seek to break you down. She experienced them and so have we. But Amy hopes that by following her advice we can recognize these ones before becoming emotionally invested. If only I'd read this earlier…<br /><br />One slightly peculiar note about Bonaccorso's advice is her positive endorsement of the online dating world. Since she met her husband this way, I suppose she should certainly feel positive about it. She writes, “Online dating is the new equalizer. All are equal in cyber space: men and women, introverts and extroverts, and people from different geographic locations. Online dating makes it possible to become acquainted with individuals you never could have met otherwise.” (p.20) Amy was so insistent that the positives outweigh the negatives of online dating, that I actually tried one for a month, but was only contacted by very old men and very strange age-appropriate ones. One of them with a very scary picture sent me a message that read only “Marry me now.” Totally weird. But Amy's experience was very different and I am sure that if I tried it for a longer duration, I may have found a diamond in the rough. But for now, I am satisfied with the traditional ways of meeting people, which Bonaccorso also covers extensively.<br /><br />In the final sections of the book, Amy gives advice to the newly-engaged and marriage-preparing couples. I really appreciated her take on co-habitating since so many of our generation (so frustratingly) seem to think this is a necessary pre-engagement transition. Not so! “Don't allow the pride of some co-habitating couples to sway you. Remember that people who themselves cohabitate will secretly admire your strength for living independently.” (p. 137) Bravo! She admonishes brides not to become selfish Bridezillas who think the day revolves around them. It does not. It involves not only your husband-to-be (yep, remember him?), but your families and the entire Mystical Body of Christ. We need to treat the day as such, and moreover, treat the marriage as such as!<br /><br />In short, I found <span style="font-style:italic;">How to Get to I Do </span>an engaging read with advice I wish I had earlier and am relieved and excited to have now as I re-enter the dating world stronger, wiser, and more confident about who I am and what I want. Get yourself a <a href=" http://www.amazon.com/How-Get-Do-Dating-Catholic/dp/0867169524">copy </a>and then get one for a friend, and be confident that Bonaccorso's wise words will indeed lead you on the "good way‟ to finding your good man.Edith Magdalenehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17000057975723736463noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1951481887669777591.post-13405589776960849712011-04-29T18:15:00.011-04:002011-05-01T11:57:34.019-04:00Oh That Royal Wedding<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-hBYHcNm94_M/Tbs4hAsq54I/AAAAAAAAAS4/rH6Z6NZTdrg/s1600/kate%2Band%2Bwilliam.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 225px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-hBYHcNm94_M/Tbs4hAsq54I/AAAAAAAAAS4/rH6Z6NZTdrg/s400/kate%2Band%2Bwilliam.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5601132701339543426" /></a><br /><br />Like most women, we Magdalenes dream of weddings. And with 1/3 of the world, we too woke up and watched the glorious ceremony of Kate Middleton and Prince William. And it was beautiful, from the smiles to the music to the hats (well, Princess Beatrice's aside) and of course that unbelievably gorgeous, iconic dress (or <a href="http://www.focusonstyle.com/Trends/Fashion/Royal-Wedding-Fashion-Second-Wedding-Dress-for-Kate-Duchess-of-Cambridge ">dresses</a> if you count the one she wore at her reception). Her veil and tiara were utterly stunning. <br /><br />It really was a beautiful wedding and you could sense the glorious joy for the bride and groom that was shared all over the world. Little tidbits I loved? How Prince Harry looked back at Kate when she arrived with her father at the Abbey and gave his brother an update ("Wait until you see her!", he purportedly whispered.) Then Prince William, beaming when he saw her whispered, "You look beautiful." And indeed she did. I also loved how he had some trouble putting the ring on her finger and if you notice, he was rubbing her finger afterward to make sure she was ok. That was sweet. And who could forget Kate's "Wow" when she saw the millions outside Buckingham Palace to see her and William? And the royal kiss - I did not care about that so much as the William's bashful, rouge-faced smile and Kate's smiling nose scrunch afterward. <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-HH47QNe2wHE/TbzUwdlEkGI/AAAAAAAAATA/QqC-xlyiVDc/s1600/kiss%2Bpic.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 209px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-HH47QNe2wHE/TbzUwdlEkGI/AAAAAAAAATA/QqC-xlyiVDc/s320/kiss%2Bpic.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5601585965580980322" /></a><br /><br />I also loved the icons of Christ Pantocrator and I think Our Lady of Perpetual Help. Who thought you'd see that in Westminster Abbey? I was surprised at how much I actually liked the homily, address, and reading chosen by the couple. And I realized how much I really like the language used in the Anglican liturgy (for example, the word 'betwixt' is awesome.) But I admit, as soon as I heard the "Dearly beloved we are gathered here in the sight of God and this congregation," all I could think about was the last scene (double wedding) in the Firth/Ehle version of Pride and Prejudice. Call me cheesy, but it's the truth. <br /><br />To those haters who said they could care less about the wedding, I reply that Britain really needed the patriotic boost and given all the insanity of the world today, who could help it but rejoice with this lovely couple? However, there is one thing that has been bugging me about the whole thing. Call me old fashioned, but Kate and William openly lived together for the last four years. And I think that is a scandal. What's more is that Grandma Queen Elizabeth ok'ed it (and footed the bill, which probably means that British tax dollars actually paid for it) And Archbishop of York <a href="enter here http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/royal-wedding/8481736/Royal-wedding-Archbishop-backs-William-and-Kates-decision-to-live-together-before-marriage.html">Dr. John Sentamu</a> also backed this decision, saying:<br /><blockquote>"We are living at a time where some people, as my daughter used to say, they want to test whether the milk is good before they buy the cow,” he said. “For some people that’s where their journeys are. </blockquote>Yep, he really said it. How sad. Given the fact that Diana needed to have <a href="enter here http://www.time.com/time/daily/special/diana/readingroom/8191/4_20.html">her virginity confirmed </a>(and call me a crazy feminist, but I think this terrible too), it seems crazy that Grandma Elizabeth allowed and was complicit in William and Kate playing house. I am certain that the all-too-proper Queen Victoria at least was rolling in her grave. <br /><br />Why does this bother me so much? Well, I came across this article by <a href="http://www.nationalreview.com/articles/265681/can-royal-marriage-be-saved-anne-morse?page=2">Anne Morse </a> who reminds us about that nagging little fact that couples who cohabitate are 2/3 more likely to divorce than those who do not. And given the rocky record of William's parents, no one wants to see another nasty break up. However, it is quite evident that the couple care deeply for each other, and if they follow the advice given to them in one of their ceremony addresses about sacrificial love and seeking Christ in their marriage, then I am hopeful that we will not see an ugly divorce. <br /><br />I also hope we will surround the couple in even more prayer than we did hoopla and media coverage for their wedding day. For their journey as man and wife has just begun, and we certainly wish them a life time of joy and happiness. My personal prayer for William and Kate is not only that they spend their long years in a glorious and happy marriage, but that in a few years time, we'll see Royal family photos of the two of them, surrounded by at least as many cherub faced children of their own as they had in their wedding.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-wGN0TJJL3Ho/TbzW8gSLiyI/AAAAAAAAATI/Ex5QiH5jYdA/s1600/682359-official-wedding-portrait.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 180px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-wGN0TJJL3Ho/TbzW8gSLiyI/AAAAAAAAATI/Ex5QiH5jYdA/s320/682359-official-wedding-portrait.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5601588371488738082" /></a><br /><br /><a href="http://abcnews.go.com/International/Royal_Wedding/royal-wedding-call-kate-middleton/story?id=13491491">Photo Credit 1</a><br /><br /><a href="http://abreakingnews.com/kate-histri-no-woman-wearing-wedding-dress-30624.html">Photo Credit 2 </a><br /><br /><a href="http://www.news.com.au/entertainment/royal-wedding?page=13">Photo Credit 3</a>Edith Magdalenehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17000057975723736463noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1951481887669777591.post-87346161493367801622011-04-29T17:52:00.002-04:002011-04-29T17:56:55.133-04:00Prayers and PassingDear Readers, <br /><br />What a roller coaster holy week and Easter week. My birthday was on Good Friday, but on Holy Tuesday my dear Grandmother took a turn for the worse. At 94 and having survived 2 strokes that left her speechless and wheelchair bound, we were simply all amazed at her enduring joy and resilience. The 9 day vigil began - and my Grandmother passed away yesterday, Easter Thursday at about 11:15 PM. <br /><br />We had so many beautiful moments together and her own 'passion' was united to Christ in such a special way and I am confident in God's mercy upon her soul. Please keep her in your prayers. <br /><br />There are so many glorious things I need to blog about: including a book review, the royal wedding (and don't worry, I will get to the royal wedding tomorrow or tonight!!) But now, I am exhausted, so I ask for your prayers.Edith Magdalenehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17000057975723736463noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1951481887669777591.post-30997312498062460362011-04-23T09:05:00.002-04:002011-04-23T09:08:46.131-04:00We Wish You...<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-HPCx7RMfu20/TbLOzFzIsUI/AAAAAAAAALE/CZJpqkRVo58/s1600/b16cpx11.jpg"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 212px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 320px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5598764663900254530" border="0" alt="" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-HPCx7RMfu20/TbLOzFzIsUI/AAAAAAAAALE/CZJpqkRVo58/s320/b16cpx11.jpg" /></a><br /><br /><div>...A Blessed Triduum. May you and your loved ones know the love of Christ more deeply at this time. </div><br /><div></div><br /><div></div><br /><div></div><br /><br /><br /><div></div><br /><br /><br /><div></div>Julianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04666783950828939561noreply@blogger.com0