Edith's Back...

Well, as you probably noticed, I've been pretty silent this past month and half, and not without good reason. I first want to thank all of you for your prayers for me this past year. As you all know, 2010 was straight up Not.My.Year. And trust me, no one was happier than me to shed the weight of a terrible 2010 (literally - I left 25 lbs. behind!) Go 2011!!

Things have been looking up! I met a professor at Notre Dame who has invited to share in the community there, attend her class, and attend political science events. I have been working on my thesis...like really working, not aimlessly reading, and I even started teaching a class at the local college where I had interviewed earlier in 2010. God has shown me His bounteous gifts by giving me a new springtime, a new time of flourishing, a new outpouring of blessings. And I wake up every morning and thank God with my whole heart that He saved me from almost marrying a man who would have made me more than unhappy.

During the feast of the Immaculate Conception novena , I was praying to God for a confirmation that I was ready to start dating again. And He delivered. The last day of that novena, I was asked for my phone number...although nothing came of that save a few random text messages, it was still nice to feel that I had a 'green light' in my prayer life that I was really ready to date again (btw, stay tuned, in my text post, I'll share some experiences and seek some dating advice!) I have, however, gone out on one date and I had a great time. Although I am not thrilled to be in the dating scene, I am just joyful to be pursuing what God is asking me to do and becoming the person He is asking me to be.

Just a little life update for now, but more substantial posts to come! Dear 2011: I love you already! I love you so much, I am even looking forward to my 28th birthday (which falls on Good Friday this year.) I mean, if I am looking forward to being older and it falls on the most solemn day of the liturgical year, then I know things in life are definitely moving in the right direction!

On Being Googled

I've been thinking a lot about my use of technology, and its implications for the type of person I'm becoming, how I use my time, and whether or not the internet in particular is helping me to strengthen or weaken my relationships (certainly "the internet" and "technology" are nouns with many uses and purposes, and those could be parceled out and examined individually).

However, one thing that I do not really like is having an "online presence" or "virtual personality." What I mean by this is that if someone were to search for me in Google, various links would come up, mostly linking me to organizations and institutions that I am or have been affiliated with as well as news sources that have quoted me.

This has really only bothered me once before, when I found out on a third date that before a guy had initially asked me out, he had "Googled" me and saw that I was associated with an organization that he did not really care for (and come to find out, significantly misunderstood its mission). Before asking me out, he said he seriously weighed whether or not to pursue something, even though he thought I was attractive and we had shared several dynamic conversations in person. When he said that, I felt reduced to some sort of online attribute that he would have eventually come to understand about me more in depth and more organically should it have come up in conversation. We only went on a few more dates, partly because our morals did not line up after all, but also partly because I felt prematurely assessed based on my "virtual" encounter with him instead of my real encounters with him in person. It was almost as if he missed experiencing me, and instead "experienced" the virtual me.

This is just now crossing my mind again because I am supposed to be going out on a blind date in the next week or so after being "virtually" introduced by a colleague. I don't mind blind dates any more than dates after having talked to someone in person. But I can't help but wonder if he will "Google" me before meeting me in person, and what effect that will have on his opinion of our date and of me.

I choose not to Google him, and to see what happens. Let's just say, "I'm Feeling Lucky."

Snow Days...

....are good for so many things:

* Enjoying my coffee while reading the news

* Taking time for spiritual reading

* Catching up on correspondence with friends

* Shutting off my phone, email, and Facebook

* Saving my makeup for another day

* Being thoughtful about planning assignments and lessons apart from interruptions

* Journaling

* Reading poetry

* Listening to this song and this song on repeat

What Women Want

The Set-Up

Help!

I have never really ventured into the world of setting up friends who I think might make a compatible couple, but I was recently struck with the idea of introducing two wonderful persons to each other (in prayer!). Has anyone successfully done this? I've been on the other end of this process, and have experienced it a few different ways: being the only one who knew it was a "set up," being totally off-guard, and having the man also know this was a "set-up." For those matchmakers out there, what do you think is the best way to go? The opportunity for the two of them to meet is about a week away, in a relaxed atmosphere (a party), but I'm wondering if either of them (or both) should be clued into my thinking.

JPII We Love You!

The news went out this morning: Pope John Paul II will be beatified on Divine Mercy Sunday, May 1, 2011, in Rome. This is SO AWESOME. And such a fitting day: he was a huge promoter of devotion to the Divine Mercy, and was the one who moved the feast to the Sunday following Easter. Additionally, it is the feast of St. Joseph the Worker, and the first Sunday in the month of Mary, to whom he dedicated his entire papacy.

In the Decree, the Vatican especially singles out his attention to the youth and lay people of the Church. I was lucky enough to see him in 2000 at World Youth Day in Rome, and it was the begining of a real awakening to my faith--and an awfully fun time! And his death marked the completion of that circle, a very difficult time in my life, but very rich spiritually, and also, ultimately, a lot of fun.

I have to be honest with you: I still tear up every time I read his final words, which, reportedly, he spoke to us--the youth.

I sought you out and now you come to me. Thank you.

Servant of God, John Paul II, pray for us!

Thou Shall Not Covet

Oh, but how I do!

I (Might Not) Have a Dream

I've heard a lot about resolutions in the past few weeks. The January issues of many magazines offer suggestions about how to stay organized, how to get healthy, how to shed those last few pounds. Talk shows also offer tips about financial responsibility, what's ahead in 2011, and how to "be the best version of yourself." This chatter about resolutions has gotten me thinking about my own life and my own dreams for it. And right now, I'm dream-less.

No, this is not pessimism. And no, it's not apathy. I have mini-resolutions already set for myself dealing with a whole slew of virtues to grow in and practical ways to do it. I'm talking about dreams for what's ahead, even in the next few years. For the first time in my life (well, since college), I've settled into a job, a city, and a social group. But unlike college, there's no necessary graduation date, nothing propelling me to look ahead, to set out in a new direction, to move beyond it.

I have a lot of friends with goals and dreams. Finish writing my dissertation. Finally pursue this or that degree. Get a promotion. Live abroad. I just feel, well, dream-less. Does that mean I'm not thirsty?

I wonder sometimes if I should be digging deeper in my soul, and searching for the next purpose. I'm wondering now if this is just laziness, or if in fact it is contentment. And if it is contentment, I'm wondering if the growth I do will just be here in this place and time, and not beyond it. It's a new feeling, and one that I'm not comfortable with, as I've always been driven in the pursuit of a goal. Now, point just seems to be.

Dear John

I have been loving the readings at Mass this week, especially the first readings from 1 John.

This favorite token from yesterday:

"There is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear."

I have heard this so many times, I can't tell you. But yesterday, I just prayed and prayed about what fears are driving me on a daily basis. It is so clear to me that these fears, even if they are little, demonstrate that I don't trust God perfectly, so I don't love God perfectly. So much to work on...

And today:

"If anyone says, 'I love God,' but hates his brother, he is a liar; for whoever does not love a brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen."

I can think of a few people who make it very difficult for me to love them, but I also know that discipleship is not easy. I also know that if I love God, I must love them.

And lastly:

"And the victory that conquers the world is our faith." Just perfect.

Dear John,

I love you.

Julian

Merry Christmas!

The Magdalene Sisters wish you and your loved ones a most Blessed Christmas season! We pray that the Incarnate Lord blesses you in whatever state in life you find yourself.

Stay tuned for some exciting changes from our little corner of the internet in the new year!

Blessings,
Julian, Edith, and Agatha

Work, work, work!

These last few days of work before Christmas are, sometimes, utter agony. Everyone around me is wishing me a Merry Christmas, and I feel like a scrouge, because I have to spend 20 of the next 52 hours in the office getting a ton of work done. This then, is keeping me inline:

You have recieved God's call to a specific way: it is to be at all the crossroads of the world, while remaining all the while, and as you carry out your professional work, in God.
--Jose Maria Escriva, #748, The Forge

It's not Christmas yet. These next few days will be the intense, expectant, hard-working days of Advent. And when I arrive home, I'll rejoice. But first: to work.

Musings

I haven't had much to say in recent weeks. It's not because work was busy (it was), or that social commitments were abounding (they were). I just haven't wanted to make time to write, as I didn't think I had anything profound or really important or interesting to say. But this morning I just wanted to. So, here goes.

I was over at Agatha's the other day, eating a most wonderful wintry dinner, and we were talking about life (as per usual). Agatha commented that our life situations hadn't really changed since this time last year, and I agreed. We're both still working at the same jobs, both still friends with the same people, no big ruptures or marriages or anything in our families, and, as per the subject of this blog, we're both still single. It made me think about whether or not I really had anything to contribute to this conversation anymore, if my life seemed to be following the "status quo." But this morning I decided that yes, the status quo is fine, because status quo doesn't mean stagnant. Much of the liturgical calendar is filled with "ordinary time," and if that is my life right now, then so be it. The ordinary parts of the life of a single person...working, providing for oneself, dating (crazy people, I might add!), deepening friendships, and growing with the Lord over seemingly insignificant (but in reality, heroic) things is just what we should be talking about.

My 2011 already looks like a promising one. Is my husband around the corner? Oh, who the heck knows. But I am going to take a course in Denver this summer on Salvation History to beef up my knowledge, I'm taking 30 girls to World Youth Day in Madrid, I'm going to welcome my first niece or nephew into the world, and I'm going to turn 27 --- a great age, if I do say so myself. It feels more distinguished than 26...don't know why, but it does, and several friends agree :) The upcoming year is sure to be filled with the mundane...grading, making dinner for one out of the contents of the fridge, paying bills, etc. But I know I will find the Lord in it all, because I did this year.

Papa B on Me!

Well, not me, but my patroness :)

The End of a Good Feast Day

For I know well the spring that flows and runs,

although it is night

1. That eternal spring is hidden,

for I know well where it has its rise

although it is night

2. I do not know its origin, nor has it one,

but I know that every origin has come from it

although it is night.

3. I know that nothing else is so beautiful,

and that the heavens and the earth drink there

although it is night.

4. I know well that it is bottomless

and no one is able to cross it,

although it is night.

5. Its clarity is never darkened,

and I know that every light has come from it

although it is night.

6. I know that its streams are so brimming

they water the lands of hell, the heavens, and earth

although it is night.

7. I know well the stream that flows from this spring

is mighty in compass and power

although it is night.

8. I know the stream proceeding from these two,

that neither of them in fact precedes it

although it is night

9. This eternal spring is hidden

in this living bread for our life's sake

although it is night.

10. It is here calling out to creatures;

and they satisfy their thirst,

although in darkness,

because it is night.

11. This living spring that I love for

I see in this bread of life,

although it is night.

-- St. John of the Cross, The Poetry

Immaculate Conception Novena Day 9

Ave, Regina Coeli!

Today we honor Mary as Queen of Heaven and Earth - the Immaculate Conception from whom the Word made Flesh entered the world. This is a glorious feast, because Mary pre-figures the glory that is promised to us at the end of our lives. She was made totally pure, with no stain of sinfulness. Luke 1: 26-40

And in the sixth month, the angel Gabriel was sent from God into a city of Galilee, called Nazareth, To a virgin espoused to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David; and the virgin's name was Mary. And the angel being come in, said unto her: Hail, full of grace, the Lord is with thee: blessed art thou among women. Who having heard, was troubled at his saying, and thought with herself what manner of salutation this should be. [And the angel said to her: Fear not, Mary, for you have found grace with God.

Behold thou shalt conceive in thy womb, and shalt bring forth a son; and thou shalt call his name Jesus. He shall be great, and shall be called the Son of the most High; and the Lord God shall give unto him the throne of David his father; and he shall reign in the house of Jacob for ever. And of his kingdom there shall be no end. And Mary said to the angel: How shall this be done, because I know not man? And the angel answering, said to her: The Holy Ghost shall come upon thee, and the power of the most High shall overshadow thee. And therefore also the Holy which shall be born of thee shall be called the Son of God.

And behold thy cousin Elizabeth, she also hath conceived a son in her old age; and this is the sixth month with her that is called barren: Because no word shall be impossible with God. And Mary said: Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it done to me according to thy word. And the angel departed from her. And Mary rising up in those days, went into the hill country with haste into a city of Juda. And she entered into the house of Zachary, and saluted Elizabeth.

Let us rejoice, for she shows us the way! Her Immaculate Conception is our hope! O Felix Culpa, for had the apple not been taken by Adam and Eve, we would not have our glorious New Adam and New Eve!

Prayer

Opening Prayer

O God, who by the Immaculate Conception of the Blessed Virgin Mary, did prepare a worthy dwelling place for Your Son, we beseech You that, as by the foreseen death of this, Your Son, You did preserve Her from all stain, so too You would permit us, purified through Her intercession, to come unto You. Through the same Lord Jesus Christ, Your Son, who lives and reigns with You in the unity of the Holy Spirit, God, world without end. Amen.

Prayer for Day 9

O Mother of the King of the Universe, most perfect member of the human race, "our tainted nature’s solitary boast," we turn to you as mother, advocate, and mediatrix. O Holy Mary, assist us in our present necessity. By your Immaculate Conception, O Mary conceived without sin, we humbly beseech you from the bottom of our heart to intercede for us with your Divine Son and ask that we be granted the favor for which we now plead...

(State your intention here...)

O Mary of the Immaculate Conception, Mother of Christ, you had influence with your Divine Son while upon this earth; you have the same influence now in heaven. Pray for us and obtain for us from him the granting of my petition if it be the Divine Will. Amen.

From EWTN

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The Hardest Thing to Teach

Every day my high school Catholic Bioethics class poses challenges for me -- some good, some bad, some I'm routinely able to answer, and some that are new and require me to think on my feet. I was recently asked by a colleague what the most difficult topic to teach is, and while I first thought it might be the case against homosexuality, it turns out that it is increasingly becoming artificial/assisted reproduction. I think this is posing a challenge for several reasons....some of which are related, others which are not.

1. The model of the family is now viewed by my students (age 18) as something archaic, or at the very best, something arbitrary. Or, if family matters, family is whatever one willingly determines it to be...deliberately two-parent, deliberately one-parent, purposefully gay, purposefully straight, etc. I asked them to think about whether or not the design of the body is something arbitrary...whether or not the fact that it takes a biological father and a biological mother to create new life. They don't see that fact as particularly meaningful..just a fact of science that can be manipulated so as to satisfy our desires (all the while ignoring its implications).

2. The second reason the Church's teaching on artificial reproduction is so difficult to sell is for the very fact that assessing these techniques as immoral seems to perpetuate the immense suffering that a faithful, heterosexual, Catholic couple might experience....the desire to act in accord with the natural law while being unable to give one another a biological child. Trying to explain why ART's might have a good object and intention but immoral technique is so difficult. This generation does not see the use of technology as something that might offend or threaten our very humanity -- they take it for granted and assume it is something morally good or morally neutral.

3. Some of the children that I'm teaching are the products of these technologies. Now, some of the students I teach have had abortions, and so there is a very real suffering and tension that takes place when we talk our way through that issue. But this topic poses another question, in that some begin to question their identity and origin. As a teacher who so thoroughly cares about these girls, it's difficult to watch them grapple with their parents' decisions, to hear that the means why which they were conceived are not justifiable, even while I stress that once conception takes place, no matter the means, one is infinitely loved by God and has been given an eternal end with Him.

It's just a hard thing to pull off...both a truthful yet pastorally sensitive approach to such a topic, because it deals with our humanity...our beginning, our desires, the desires of our parents, and the evaluation of and self-reflection regarding our personal ethics, which, if there is to be any progress, is bound to include growing pains.

Immaculate Conception Novena Day 8

Ave, Stella Matutina!

Today we honor Mary, the Morning Star. We are so blessed to have Mary as a Mother who guides our way to Jesus. Like the prophets of the Old Testament, Mary trusts the Lord in all her needs. Her faith is made perfect by her love, and when she calls out to the Lord, He responds with tender love. Hosea 6: 1-3

In their affliction they will rise early to me: Come, and let us return to the Lord: For he hath taken us, and he will heal us: he will strike, and he will cure us. He will revive us after two days: on the third day he will raise us up, and we shall live in his sight. We shall know, and we shall follow on, that we may know the Lord. His going forth is prepared as the morning light, and he will come to us as the early and the latter rain to the earth.

We pray, Mary, that as our Mother and Morning Star, you will guide us to ever seek the will of God in our lives, as you too sought Him with perfect trust and perfect love.

Prayer

Opening Prayer

O God, who by the Immaculate Conception of the Blessed Virgin Mary, did prepare a worthy dwelling place for Your Son, we beseech You that, as by the foreseen death of this, Your Son, You did preserve Her from all stain, so too You would permit us, purified through Her intercession, to come unto You. Through the same Lord Jesus Christ, Your Son, who lives and reigns with You in the unity of the Holy Spirit, God, world without end. Amen.

Prayer for Day 8

O Most gracious Virgin Mary, beloved Mother of Jesus Christ, our Redeemer, intercede with him for us that we be granted the favor which we petition for so earnestly in this novena...O Mother of the Word Incarnate, we feel animated with confidence that your prayers in our behalf will be graciously heard before the throne of God. O Glorious Mother of God, in memory of your joyous Immaculate Conception, hear our prayers and obtain for us our petitions.

(State your intention here...)

O Mary of the Immaculate Conception, Mother of Christ, you had influence with your Divine Son while upon this earth; you have the same influence now in heaven. Pray for us and obtain for us from him the granting of my petition if it be the Divine Will.


From EWTN
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Immaculate Conception Novena Day 7

Ave, Ianua Coeli!

Today we honor Mary, the Gate of Heaven. She is truly our gateway to the Lord, the one who reveals Him to us by saying Yes to giving Him her own holy flesh.

Psalm 23 [24]: 6-10

This is the generation of them that seek him, of them that seek the face of the God of Jacob. Lift up your gates, O ye princes, and be ye lifted up, O eternal gates: and the King of Glory shall enter in. Who is this King of Glory? the Lord who is strong and mighty: the Lord mighty in battle. Lift up your gates, O ye princes, and be ye lifted up, O eternal gates: and the King of Glory shall enter in. Who is this King of Glory? the Lord of hosts, he is the King of Glory.

Rejoice, for Mary shows us the way to our heavenly home!

Prayer

Opening Prayer

O God, who by the Immaculate Conception of the Blessed Virgin Mary, did prepare a worthy dwelling place for Your Son, we beseech You that, as by the foreseen death of this, Your Son, You did preserve Her from all stain, so too You would permit us, purified through Her intercession, to come unto You. Through the same Lord Jesus Christ, Your Son, who lives and reigns with You in the unity of the Holy Spirit, God, world without end. Amen.

Prayer for Day 7

O Immaculate Virgin, Mother of God, and my mother, from the sublime heights of your dignity turn your merciful eyes upon me while I, full of confidence in your bounty and keeping in mind your Immaculate conception and fully conscious of your power, beg of you to come to our aid and ask your Divine Son to grant the favor we earnestly seek in this novena... if it be beneficial for our immortal souls and the souls for whom we pray.

(State your intention here...)

O Mary of the Immaculate Conception, Mother of Christ, you had influence with your Divine Son while upon this earth; you have the same influence now in heaven. Pray for us and obtain for us from him the granting of my petition if it be the Divine Will.

From EWTN

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Immaculate Conception Novena Day 6

Ave, Regina Angelorum!

Today we honor Mary as the Queen of All Angels! We should rejoice because Mary is Queen over all creation, and is higher than the Angels. She foreshadows the glory we shall have in the Beatific vision in communion with all creation. With the angels, she watches over us and guides ever closer to her Son.

Psalm 44 [45]: 8-12

You have loved justice, and hated iniquity: therefore God, your God, has anointed you with the oil of gladness above you fellows. Myrrh and stacte and cassia perfume your garments, from the ivory houses: out of which the daughters of kings have delighted you in your glory. The queen stood on your right hand, in gilded clothing; surrounded with variety.

Hearken, O daughter, and see, and incline your ear: and forget your people and your father's house. And the king shall greatly desire your beauty; for he is the Lord your God, and him they shall adore.

Let us rejoice in her glory with all the heavenly host! For she is our Mother who teaches us how to accept God's will for our lives.

Prayer

Opening Prayer

O God, who by the Immaculate Conception of the Blessed Virgin Mary, did prepare a worthy dwelling place for Your Son, we beseech You that, as by the foreseen death of this, Your Son, You did preserve Her from all stain, so too You would permit us, purified through Her intercession, to come unto You. Through the same Lord Jesus Christ, Your Son, who lives and reigns with You in the unity of the Holy Spirit, God, world without end. Amen.

Prayer for Day 6

Glorious and immortal Queen of Heaven, we profess our firm belief in your Immaculate Conception preordained for you in the merits of your Divine Son. We rejoice with you in your Immaculate Conception. To the one ever-reigning God, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, three in Person, one in nature, we offer thanks for your blessed Immaculate Conception. O Mother of the Word made Flesh, listen to our petition as we ask this special grace during this novena...

(State your intention here...)

O Mary of the Immaculate Conception, Mother of Christ, you had influence with your Divine Son while upon this earth; you have the same influence now in heaven. Pray for us and obtain for us from him the granting of my petition if it be the Divine Will. Amen.

From EWTN

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Immaculate Conception Novena Day 5

Ave, Spes Nostra!

Today we honor Mary as Our Hope. Since she is our Mother, she is always observant of the who we are and our needs. This is so beautifully depicted in the wedding feast at Cana. Jn 2:1-5

And the third day, there was a marriage in Cana of Galilee: and the mother of Jesus was there. And Jesus also was invited, and his disciples, to the marriage. And the wine failing, the mother of Jesus said to him: They have no wine. And Jesus said to her: Woman, what is that to me and to you? my hour is not yet come. His mother said to the waiters: Whatsoever he shall say to you, do.

Mary has complete faith that Jesus will abide by her request. She observes the wedding of her beloved brethren, and seeking to keep them from the embarrassment of no wine, she turns to Her Son. And He obeys her request. She gives us hope that whatever problems we bring to her in prayer, she will bring to her Son. And He will grant her request. So when our situations seem hopeless, let us rejoice with the confidence that Mary, our Mother is also Our Hope.

Prayer

Opening Prayer
O God, who by the Immaculate Conception of the Blessed Virgin Mary, did prepare a worthy dwelling place for Your Son, we beseech You that, as by the foreseen death of this, Your Son, You did preserve Her from all stain, so too You would permit us, purified through Her intercession, to come unto You. Through the same Lord Jesus Christ, Your Son, who lives and reigns with You in the unity of the Holy Spirit, God, world without end. Amen.

Prayer for Day 5
O Lord, who, by the Immaculate Conception of the Virgin Mary, did prepare a fitting dwelling for your Son, we beseech you that as by the foreseen death of your Son, you did preserve her from all stain of sin, grant that through her intercession, we may be favored with the granting of the grace that we seek for at this time...

(State your intention here...)

O Mary of the Immaculate Conception, Mother of Christ, you had influence with your Divine Son while upon this earth; you have the same influence now in heaven. Pray for us and obtain for us from him the granting of my petition if it be the Divine Will. Amen.

From EWTN

Photo Credit