tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1951481887669777591.comments2023-06-08T09:34:39.076-04:00The Magdalene SistersAgatha Magdalenehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05224221846886335490noreply@blogger.comBlogger756125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1951481887669777591.post-41729163989603475432014-08-06T00:27:10.949-04:002014-08-06T00:27:10.949-04:00Hello, Julian! Mike Morrell asked me to contact yo...Hello, Julian! Mike Morrell asked me to contact you because he really appreciates your blog and thinks you'd be an excellent candidate for his Speakeasy Blogger Network. Do you like to review off-the-beaten path faith, spirituality, and culture books? Speakeasy puts interesting books in your hands at no charge to you. You only get books when you request them, and it's free to join. Sign up here, if you'd like: http://thespeakeasy.infoAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16108826959433644724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1951481887669777591.post-22135671292096283472014-03-04T01:54:18.292-05:002014-03-04T01:54:18.292-05:00Thanks for this post!
See Montse Grases webpage: ...Thanks for this post!<br /><br />See Montse Grases webpage: http://montsegrases.org/index.php/en/<br />And Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/montsegrasesMercè Noguerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17557723019234159552noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1951481887669777591.post-33743118871397932452012-02-22T01:55:33.030-05:002012-02-22T01:55:33.030-05:00Hi Julian,
We haven't heard any news from any...Hi Julian, <br />We haven't heard any news from any of you in such a long time. Very interested to read any future posts you make :)<br />God bless you lovely Sisters xoxobridgetannamariahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12622152689253287866noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1951481887669777591.post-77365402128546767072011-08-30T23:48:22.832-04:002011-08-30T23:48:22.832-04:00More pathetic commentary on our society: The Divo...More pathetic commentary on our society: <a href="http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/sex/would-you-wear-a-divorce-ring-2535497/;_ylt=AiMKMfLN5mOVLI61xqn462WBbqU5" rel="nofollow"> The Divorce Ring</a>Jeromehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07734448938129794288noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1951481887669777591.post-43358939958636159702011-08-20T00:31:27.704-04:002011-08-20T00:31:27.704-04:00"reduction to a singleton"
"the ma..."reduction to a singleton"<br /><br />"the math’s the same either way: one fewer fetus."<br /><br />"if we were more financially secure"<br /><br />"The pregnancy was all so consumerish to begin with"<br /><br />"I had to make it as ethically O.K. for me as I could. But I wanted only one."<br /><br />The repulsiveness suppurates from the sanitized language.Jeromehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07734448938129794288noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1951481887669777591.post-78266714651126552712011-08-20T00:10:36.212-04:002011-08-20T00:10:36.212-04:00Convenience should be distinguished from lack of o...Convenience should be distinguished from lack of obligations.<br /><br />I'm thinking of your friend who moved his entire world to be with Ms. Right, and while I don't doubt that his decision entailed many difficulties and inconveniences, I can't help but think that it would be nice if I could find myself in circumstances where it would be feasible to do such a thing, were I to determine the proper woman tomorrow.<br /><br />But certain immoveable obligations would prevent me. Obligations, to be sure, of my own choosing. But jumping off of your comment about responsibility in small things indicating potential responsibility in large things, if I were to choose against some of these obligations in favor of more romantic flexibility, I think I would seriously compromise my character, which would subsequently diminish the expectations any good woman could have about me.<br /><br />I'm reminded of a secular article I read some years back, which is not irrelevant to my current situation, about how some women won't, and indeed shouldn't, seriously date a man who is taking care of his mother, since his mother will always take precedence over her relationship needs. Now, even though I initially bristled at this conclusion, upon reflection I considered that it is eminently reasonable when embarking upon such a commitment, to ask where one will fit among the other person's competing obligations, esp. when they may be of such gravity as an ailing parent. And in light of my remarks above, it would also seem eminently reasonble for a person under such obligations, to remove him/herself from the dating pool on the grounds that one is not in a position at the moment to sacrifice all for the sake of Mr./Ms. Right.<br /><br />But that can't be quite correct, either...Or are we to say that the only people who should consider dating/preparing for marriage are those who have relatively few and/or unburdensome obligations? Don't we then run the risk of submitting to a checklist mentality that replaces the difficult decision to love another real person with real faults under real circumstances, with the desire of maximizing our own convenience in the circumstantially ideal spouse? I fully recognize the prudence of evaluating risk and considering some obligations to be true impediments, but I would also point out that part of what makes a serious relationship serious is the mutual acquiesence in each other's difficulties in such a way that one's spouse is not considered objectively as one obligation among many, but subjectively as a partner in managing such obligations.<br /><br />I will futher note that the recognition of, and acquiesence in, this type of relationship, where each does bear the other's burdens, would seem to require a fair amount of emotional maturity, openness, and vulnerability that is not necessarily fostered by the modern single life and all of its conveniences, even in its more chaste varieties.<br /><br />Shifting to another of your comments, I'm glad to hear that you "found the courage" to ask that man what his intentions were. In my opinion, it's never a bad thing for a woman to help focus a man's attention on what his goals for interaction actually are. It might appear somewhat gauche to explicity broach the issue, but if he's actually a serious person who is looking for a likewise serious person, whether for romance or friendship, the ultimate clarity which such interrogation precipitates will surely outweigh any momentary awkwardness.Jeromehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07734448938129794288noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1951481887669777591.post-68986136128161731222011-08-12T10:10:29.911-04:002011-08-12T10:10:29.911-04:00Oh so sorry to hear about the boy-man (love that p...Oh so sorry to hear about the boy-man (love that phrase btw), there are simply too many of those guys running around these days. Yuck.<br /><br />Have a fabulous time in Spain! I'm sure it will be wonderful. And maybe you'll meet a handsome Spaniard man-man;)<br /><br />God Bless!Jenniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14527973802393864654noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1951481887669777591.post-86155527839780063462011-08-10T07:26:01.235-04:002011-08-10T07:26:01.235-04:00Thanks for the link, Jerome. What an awful commen...Thanks for the link, Jerome. What an awful commentary on vice twisted as some sort of virtue. I can't believe people operate in this way. <br /><br />We'd love your thoughts when you have them!Julianhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04666783950828939561noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1951481887669777591.post-45240985673717031302011-08-09T23:16:44.887-04:002011-08-09T23:16:44.887-04:00I have a few comments, but I've yet to complet...I have a few comments, but I've yet to completely form my thoughts. <br /><br />In the meantime, since I gather it's worth keeping tabs on competing cultural attitudes, the following article is a fascinatingly pathetic counterpoint to the concerns of this post: http://www.good.is/post/the-lust-frontier-why-can-t-we-make-open-relationships-work/Jeromehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07734448938129794288noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1951481887669777591.post-54766856932114624552011-07-29T05:17:04.688-04:002011-07-29T05:17:04.688-04:00i am muslem to and live in islamic country ,i am m...i am muslem to and live in islamic country ,i am muslem as sertificate just ,i want that your friend did but you know i cant change my id sertificate in other religion in my country<br />i beilive GOD and feel hem or her every time but i just hide my beilive ,but now i am proudly say GOD creat us to chooooooooose ,so i chooose and pray 4 her in loud voiceromihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11692072572787627783noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1951481887669777591.post-38437714859412574822011-07-29T05:15:49.855-04:002011-07-29T05:15:49.855-04:00i am muslem to and live in islamic country ,i am m...i am muslem to and live in islamic country ,i am muslem as sertificate just ,i want that your friend did but you know i cant change my id sertificate in other religion in my country<br />i beilive GOD and feel hem or her every time but i just hide my beilive ,but now i am proudly say GOD creat us to chooooooooose ,so i chooose and pray 4 her in loud voiceromihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11692072572787627783noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1951481887669777591.post-30480286002961326982011-07-28T00:21:01.295-04:002011-07-28T00:21:01.295-04:00Way to go, you! I'm so proud!Way to go, you! I'm so proud!E. B.https://www.blogger.com/profile/07037049513454341334noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1951481887669777591.post-14953143608688204362011-07-25T01:03:07.813-04:002011-07-25T01:03:07.813-04:00"But for now, I'm able to look at beautif..."But for now, I'm able to look at beautiful clothing and think of other people." Thank you Julian for this thought, this is so beautiful!!Maryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10107493541860967018noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1951481887669777591.post-25112832539967307572011-07-06T20:56:59.960-04:002011-07-06T20:56:59.960-04:00Thank you! Your reflection and this really have m...Thank you! Your reflection and this really have me thinking:<br /><br />http://www.catholicity.com/mccloskey/lavidarica.html<br /><br />"(9) Avoid occasions of sin, remote or proximate, as regards buying and shopping, whether in shopping malls, via catalogues, or on the Internet. For some people it is computer stores, for other bookshops or golf equipment shops, and for others virtually any store before which they find themselves powerless, with the credit card seemingly jumping out of the wallet or purse. Stay away from your particular source of conspicuous consumption temptation. The Internet may be the most insidious form of "concupiscence of the eyes." A few clicks and your "shopping basket" is filled to overflowing! Don't create needs for yourself. He has most that needs least. Could you do without?"KChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17972581006603366678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1951481887669777591.post-50843142214776897702011-07-06T18:40:46.755-04:002011-07-06T18:40:46.755-04:00Wow, that is quite a pledge! Good for you! I ten...Wow, that is quite a pledge! Good for you! I tend to try not to buy myself anything unless it's from Goodwill.Mandi Richardshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14641577291206420549noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1951481887669777591.post-25258778790298173962011-07-04T00:35:33.255-04:002011-07-04T00:35:33.255-04:00sure, I see what you mean about "heart"....sure, I see what you mean about "heart". But I'm still a bit perplexed over how to manage this phenomenon of "guarding". I think I understand that the point of it is that you're not supposed to make a premature emotional investment in anyone. And I completely agree with that. <br /><br />But a difficulty arises when one tries to walk the line between friendships and romantic relationships, since this is not always easy to demarcate, let alone tread. I'm just going off of personal experience here where I've had a couple of female friends who have essentially severed our friendship subsequent to their marriage. Now, I completely understand that that's something of a function of The Way Things Are in terms of guarding oneself for spousal fidelity. But it's nonetheless dismaying for the single male to acknowledge that at some fundamental level he is perhaps seen as something of a sexual competitor, even absent the intent.<br /><br />Now, this certainly isn't always the case, and I do have a couple of valuable married female friends. But recently I've been confronted with the question of how I ought to approach women of my age given this problem. This is severely complicated by the fact that friendly interest and romantic interest overlap, i.e., people you genuinely like as people are easier to be attracted to romantically. So, when I meet someone new whom I genuinely like, do I choose the level of friendship and risk being let down when they get married, or do I lay down my cards at the outset and bluntly say it could go this way or that, thereby precluding the game of pretending how to define and navigate through what interest may or may not exist? Is the "guarding of heart" to be implicit or explicit? Or do I just not bother at all to take the risk of meeting new women when I'm not in a position to follow up on any leads I might be given, but then might be later on only when the moment for her has passed?<br /><br />You speak of revealing one's "heart" by degrees; this is a matter of timing. But if openness and being yourself is paramount, how does one strike that balance properly? And if one errs in the beginning and reveals perhaps too much or too little, should that necessarily compromise the ensuing interactions? "She's great, once you get to know her." So much (too much?) is bound up in arriving at that dependent clause, esp. when one considers the differences that can exist between people as they present themselves versus as they truly are. <br /><br />I don't really know what to do with all this. I've tried various approaches with various people-in some cases it's worked, in others I wish perhaps I've been bolder or more reserved. I guess what I ultimately want to raise is how male-female friendship can complicate one's thinking in "guarding" and "giving" one's "heart", and how it's possible for one who is "guarding" nevertheless to hurt someone else's feelings by the unclear and/or insensitive application of necessary caution.<br /><br />As for solutions, I believe this dialogue is doomed to aporia...Jeromehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07734448938129794288noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1951481887669777591.post-60338471463357265832011-07-02T11:08:46.318-04:002011-07-02T11:08:46.318-04:00Jerome, thanks for your comments. It's always...Jerome, thanks for your comments. It's always helpful to hear from readers, especially male ones, on matters of the heart. You're right; romantic interest does very much involve you "being yourself, trying to get to know someone who interests you." In fact, it is just as simple as that. Moreover, it is not a game, nor logical per se. But, there is a feminine inclination to want to be pursued, to be "fought for" (here I'm taking directly from Stasi Eldridge's book, Captivating). No, one need not draw a sword to battle for us, but the desire to win us by reminding us that we are captivating, beautiful, and that our hearts are something to be cherished is innate in us. Our hearts can rest (and therefore are won), with ever greater trust in the other person.Julianhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04666783950828939561noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1951481887669777591.post-19495735956237963232011-07-01T00:57:37.633-04:002011-07-01T00:57:37.633-04:00Maybe I'm too much of a mathematician and not ...Maybe I'm too much of a mathematician and not enough of a romantic, but could you be a bit more precise about what you mean when you speak of someone's "heart" and its various levels of depth, and what it means to "give your heart" to someone and how one is supposed to interpret "working" for someone's heart? I mean, I think I see where you're going in bringing up things like vulnerabilities and other personal matters, but I don't quite see the specifically romantic angle of this. In particular, it's a little alarming to me to think that the women I would like to get to know (for whatever purpose) already expect me to understand that I'm supposed to labor in some unspecified way for their attention, rather than just be myself trying to get to know somebody who interests me (again, for whatever purpose) and to communicate why that interest exists. Again, maybe I'm not sufficiently inclined towards romance (and I beg to differ!), but it seems to me that the whole issue of opening up to another human being is going to be roughly the same regardless of romantic context (not to say that that makes it any easier!). After all, rejection of friendship can be just as, if not more, devastating than rejection of romance, which can at least be easily blamed on things beyond our control (e.g., lack of physical attraction, distance, etc.).Jeromehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07734448938129794288noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1951481887669777591.post-91498113070907398802011-06-30T16:00:43.665-04:002011-06-30T16:00:43.665-04:00This is great! Yes, she has much wisdom to share w...This is great! Yes, she has much wisdom to share with us. :) She's also a Catholic convert, which is neat.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10845051786114528609noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1951481887669777591.post-8559010525327235312011-06-30T06:45:09.135-04:002011-06-30T06:45:09.135-04:00Um, hysterical. Thanks for sharing her!Um, hysterical. Thanks for sharing her!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1951481887669777591.post-34151609954974372872011-06-30T00:23:31.323-04:002011-06-30T00:23:31.323-04:00Thanks for sharing...love her stuff. I'm defin...Thanks for sharing...love her stuff. I'm definitely going to bookmark it.Nicole Margarethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01347612134721614720noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1951481887669777591.post-43806180103849159742011-06-29T13:21:53.301-04:002011-06-29T13:21:53.301-04:00Add some jazz into the mix and you'll have the...Add some jazz into the mix and you'll have the perfect road trip soundtrack for your car. Maybe you can add Ska-jazz. It's quite relaxing and a bit upbeat as well, so you won't get sleepy while you're driving.<br /><br />-<a href="http://www.billkaychevrolet.com/MeetOurDepartments" rel="nofollow">Cassie Brendan</a>Cassiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06708625358309851581noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1951481887669777591.post-15280574584825959662011-06-29T09:21:43.065-04:002011-06-29T09:21:43.065-04:00Being sick while married isn't usually much be...Being sick while married isn't usually much better (for a woman). My husband loves me and tries to take care of me, but he just doesn't have the mothering instincts. I think he feels bad when I say I want my mommy when I'm sick, but I can't help it, no one can replace her!Mandi Richardshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14641577291206420549noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1951481887669777591.post-4814521249454436602011-06-28T13:00:26.698-04:002011-06-28T13:00:26.698-04:00When I got married last year, I had only been to o...When I got married last year, I had only been to one Catholic wedding (the year before). Thank goodness that I had been to one, otherwise I would have been very confused planning my own since I would have assumed that a Catholic wedding was more like the weddings one sees on TV in the movies than what it really is! <br /><br />Based on that, you would assume I have few Catholic friends, which isn't far from the truth (I don't have many non-Catholic friends either!), but it's more like I don't have any married friends. Although we are going to two wedding this year, I'd only been to three wedding total before my own. <br /><br />I think Catholic weddings are beautiful, I know my own was very holy and sacred, and I have yet to experience that in a non-Catholic wedding. I have high hopes for the wedding we are going to this upcoming week though!Mandi Richardshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14641577291206420549noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1951481887669777591.post-36462882329871169862011-06-28T11:09:05.356-04:002011-06-28T11:09:05.356-04:00Good post! Gives me a lot to think about.Good post! Gives me a lot to think about.not a minx, a moron, or a parasitehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04799393593685552159noreply@blogger.com