Advent: Waiting is the Hardest Part

Last night I was reading this post on Advent from one of my favorite blogs. The author writes, "Last Sunday the priest at a friend's church talked about Advent as a season of waiting, and that our goal should be to wait well."

I spent the first day of Advent going to Mass by myself. It was certainly a beautiful liturgy, and I took quite a bit from the readings and homily. After all, something just happens in your soul when you start beckoning the Lord in O Come O Come, Emmanuel, right? It was a pleasant morning to be sure.

I met a new friend in the afternoon for a cup of coffee. It was intended as a set up by a mutual friend, but it turns out that he is discerning the priesthood and still unclear as where his rather recent conversion is going to lead him. I did enjoy his company and getting to hear his story, but I didn't feel called to pursue it. I did experience grace though in wanting to get to know him for himself and am open to seeing him again. In a recent Confession (don't worry, I won't give away what I was confessing) the priest counseled me to remember that my mission in each moment is to win souls for Christ - nothing more, and nothing less. That is sticking with me and has been affecting the way that I choose to look at situations and people. Here's hoping it lasts. Anyway, I felt it in the way I interacted with this young man today.

Anyway, I spent the afternoon alone in my apartment trying to organize lesson plans, do laundry, and keep my mind on positive thoughts. It is really easy for me to start to get down and feel lonely when the weather turns and it gets darker earlier. I mean seriously, what woman doesn't want someone to cook with on Sunday afternoon, someone to watch a football game with, or someone to help you gear up for the coming week? I found myself tearing up a bit, wanting to ask the Lord to send me a compatible man soon, but being too stubborn to ask for it. Isn't it easy to wait impatiently? It is incredibly tempting for the me to want to take control of the situation, to send out feelers for romantic possibilities in every direction, trying to manipulate my life and my vocation. Waiting truly is the hardest part.

I've decided to offer up something this Advent for Christ. I was going to offer something up for my husband, but in reality, I do not know if and when he will arrive. What I do know though, more perfectly than anything else, is that Christ has arrived. He is real in my life; He is guaranteed.

Meditate with me on this fact, sisters and readers -- He came.

For the believer, the Lord's grace can turn every period of waiting into a time of fulfilling expectation. -- Adrienne von Speyr, Lumina/New Lumina.