Three 20-something women trying to figure out what it means to be lay, Catholic, and modern all at once.

January 19, 2009

I Was Sitting, Waiting, Wishing..

The gospel from yesterday's Mass really struck me (and so did our priest's homily...I'll post on it or maybe Agatha will - it was about vocation and holiness, and he even spoke about the single life for well-over the usual five seconds!).  

John the Baptist points out Jesus as the Lamb of God to two of his own disciples.  They follow him, and then Jesus asks them, "What are you looking for?" In response to Jesus, the disciples asked Him where He lived.  This struck me as odd, as if they were dodging the question.  But maybe they were onto something.  

By some gift of faith I recognize Jesus as this Lamb of God, as my God and my friend, and I have chosen to see the world as He does and to live a life that follows upon the gift of this sight. But this is not enough for me, or so it seems.  Everyday I am looking for something.  I am restless with my life, with the stage I'm in, with my job, my colleagues, with men.  I am always looking for something to finally help me to feel settled.  Even though I search after Jesus like the two disciples did, I am restless, but I also hear Him asking, "What (exactly) are you looking for, Julian?"  

If I were to respond to Jesus' question like the disciples by asking where He was in my life, I know that He would respond that He has chosen to live in me.  Being settled actually does come from resting (not busying ourselves with things to do), but especially just being with Jesus ("So they went and saw where Jesus was staying, and they stayed with him that day").   Well, then this means just being with ourselves, despite all of the muck and the confusion. Maybe I will feel more at peace with my continued searching and seeking if I took respite in who and where I am at this moment, and Who is with me.   

1 comment:

Edith Magdalene said...

Awesome post, Julian. What struck me about this passage was the role of Andrew in bringing Peter to Christ. Andrew was never the great leader Peter was, but he, as one of the first to spread the Good News--We have found the Christ--in a sense was absolutely essential to bringing our beloved first pope to Our Lord. How tremendous! Doesn't it just show the bounty of God's grace and goodness and how each one of us is bound to each other's salvation and vocation? And there was never a hint of jealousy in Andrew! He understood that each of us has a role, a vocation that we have to live out. And if we live our vocation, then we maximize the number of people who come to Christ.

Our priest talked about Andrew yesterday, saying that he reveals the 'glory of the ordinary.' Ordinary does not mean mediocre, but rather it means living our vocation of bringing others to Christ each and every day. Andrew brought Peter to Christ, he befriended a boy with the five barley loaves and brought him to Christ, and he is one of the first to befriend a group of Gentiles and brought them to Christ. What a tremendous saint!! St. Andrew, please pray for us as we seek to live our vocations so that we might, like you, be instruments to bring many souls to come to know the love of Christ!

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