Magdalenas!

Did you know our patron, who's feast is today, has a cake named after her. "Magdalenas" are golden spanish tea cakes. By all accounts they are rich and yet light and fluffy. They are thought to have originated in Aragon, and they are eaten with coffee at breakfast. And are surprisingly easy to make:

4 eggs
1 cup granulated sugar
1 4 oz. stick unsalted butter
1 2/3 cups unbleached white flour
1 Tbsp baking powder
zest from 1 lemon
1 Tbsp milk

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees Fahrenheit (200 degrees Centigrade). Measure 1/4 cup sugar into small bowl and set aside.

In a medium-size mixing bowl, beat the eggs with 3/4 cup sugar. Beat until the mixture is light.

In a small sauce pan, melt the butter on medium on the stove top. Or, melt it in the microwave. Make sure that the butter cools slightly and is not bubbling. As you continue to beat the egg mixture, slowly pour in the melted butter, making sure to mix thoroughly. Stir in the lemon zest and milk.

Measure out the flour into a separate bowl. Add the baking powder to the flour and mix thoroughly.

While stirring the egg mixture, add in the flour mixture. Continue to stir until all ingredients are mixed well. The batter will be very thick.

Place paper liners in to cupcake pan. Use a large serving spoon to spoon batter into pan, filling each one half full. Batter will more than double in size when baked. Use a teaspoon to sprinkle each magdalena with a bit of the reserved sugar.

Place pans on the middle shelf of the preheated oven for 18-20 minutes, until magdalenas have turned a golden color. Remove from oven and allow to cool for 5 minutes before taking out of the pan to cool further.

(HT: Recipe and Photo.)

Have You Found Your Ideal....

Not, I don’t mean the ideal man. But of course, there’s that too. What I mean is the ideal woman’s magazine. I’ve been reading lots of magazines lately when I want a study break, and I just find myself having to read lots of different ones (which is not so bad, after all) to get what I crave: a mixture of faith, fashion, cooking, and all things feminine genius. Let me give you a rundown: I love Real Simple - great recipes, has fashion, beauty, home décor, all the stuff we ladies love. But what does it lack? Serious intellectual discourse. For that I turn to First Things, an intellectual journal - not a woman’s magazine. Then there’s Oprah’s magazine, which I admit, I did look through for her amazing give-aways - I mean, who does not want to enter a chance to win a $5,000 shopping spree to Ann Taylor or a nine day all expenses paid tour of Israel? Yes, those are actual give-aways. But the magazine always includes some snide remark about the Catholic Church - whether it be on the Church’s “outdated” stance on birth control or some story about “Pope Joan” and that alone is enough to repel me.

Then I found Martha Stewart’s magazine called Whole Living (it used to be called Body+Soul) and I really like it - it depicts all kinds of creative ways for green living, natural eating, and health lifestyles. However, it absolutely touts a New Age approach, complete with marking the Dali Lama’s birthday and depicting which yoga moves will put you in touch with the divine goddess in you. Ugh. And who does not love InStyle? All about style - no tips on sex tricks like almost all other fashion magazines. However, even InStyle includes ads that depict over sexualized, scantily clad models for a designer selling jeans or handbags. Or how about those ads for sterility drugs and birth control? I am so sick of seeing glossy ads that depict young, happy, healthy women for birth control ads, giving out the message that “if-you-use-our-drug-you-will-happy-and-free-and-all-your-dreams-will-come-true-you-can-even-be-a-princess!” Yes, unfortunately, those ads are in ALL women’s magazines.

Then I saw one on the market for Protestant women that includes daily Scripture verses, recipes, home décor, beauty, and lots of fluffy sermons from prominent Protestant ministers. That got me thinking: What we need is a Catholic woman’s magazine: one that shows true beauty, modestly, includes recipes, home decorating tips, beauty tips, but had no birth control or sterility drug ads, no New Age - no trash. It would include articles on theology and perhaps some essays on contemporary issues from our perspective. Why don’t we have such a magazine? And moreover, would you read it if I started such a thing - cause I am pretty tempted!!!

Male Friendship

Last weekend I had a fascinating discussion about male friendship, spurred by this article describing the modern misconception of the relationship between Cardinal Newman and his dear friend Fr. Ambrose St. John:

[Newman] was not afraid to be very close indeed to a few people. "The best preparation for loving the world at large, and loving it duly and wisely," he wrote in a letter, "is to cultivate an intimate friendship and affection for those who are immediately about." Hence his deep friendships with those "immediately about" him: John Bowden as a student, Richard Hurrell Froude and Frederic Rogers while a don at Oxford, and Ambrose St John as a Catholic priest.

St John had been in Oxford with Newman; they became Catholics together, and were ordained priests in Rome at the same time. When Newman founded the Oratory in 1848, St John was one of the first members. Being 15 years Newman's junior, when he died suddenly aged 60, Newman was devastated. "I have ever thought no bereavement was equal to that of a husband's or a wife's," he wrote, "but I feel it difficult to believe that any can be greater, or any one's sorrow greater, than mine." Some 15 centuries earlier, St Augustine in his Confessions wrote in the same way about the death not of his mistress, but of his best friend. "My eyes sought him everywhere, but they did not see him; and I hated all places because he was not in them, because they could not say to me, 'Look, he is coming,' as they did when he was alive and absent."

The article concludes with a eye towards the failing of modern culture with regards to understanding male friendship:

Do we – can we – today applaud such friendship? Do we – can we – make room, now, for such "evidences of sweet brotherly love"? Men and women often have intense friendships with members of their own sex, friendships that have no sexual component; yet we are losing the vocabulary to speak about them, or we are embarrassed to do so.

(If you have a strong constitution, you need only look at the comments to discover the veracity of his complaint.)

A favorite professor, Anthony Esolen, has written extensively on this topic. His most developed expression is found in Touchstone Magazine, and is available to read online. Here's a snippet. Do read it all, and let us know your thoughts, friends!

Shakespeare, or his narrative persona, expressed in his sonnets a passionate love for an unnamed and not too loyal young man, so Shakespeare must have been homosexual—despite the absence of evidence, and despite his persona’s explicit statement in sonnet 20 that the young man’s sexual accoutrements are of no interest (or use) to him whatever.

The bachelor Abe Lincoln long shared a bed with his closest friend, Joshua Speed, and later wrote letters expressing, with what seems a touch of self-deprecating irony, his fear that he would be lonely once Speed had taken a wife. Lincoln therefore must be homosexual. No matter that men (and women too) commonly shared beds, and also commonly spoke of their friendship in strong, earthy language that now embarrasses. The poet Edmund Spenser, celebrator of his own wedding in one of the most brilliant poems in English, used to share a bed with his friend and fellow scholar at Cambridge, Gabriel Harvey. There you go.

“Your love to me was finer than the love of women,” laments David in a public song, when he learns of the death of his friend Jonathan. We know why. The godlike hero Gilgamesh and his friend Enkidu walk hand in hand into the dark forest of Humbaba. No wonder then that at Enkidu’s death Gilgamesh will weep inconsolably, letting his hair grow long, flinging away his royal robes, and leaving the city to wander in the wilderness.

Recommended Read or Re-Read

Yesterday I had the pleasure of discussing C.S. Lewis' Till We Have Faces at my monthly book club, and it was perhaps the most inspiring conversation that I've had in a long time. I cannot recommend enough how important this book is for the feminine heart as well as the Christian heart.

The first time I read the book, I was frustrated and confused by the plot and the point, but my second read was an incredible experience, and I was able to mine the book for these great and small treasures that apply to my life and my journey to God. I have learned anew about the nature of love -- the ugliness of love which is possessive, the purity of obedience, the prudence in waiting to speak about one's love for another if it will not help that person, the nature of charity, the feminine tendency to veil and mask her real self, and so much more. I was listening to Peter Kreeft's lecture on the book, and he says that even in his sixth reading of the book (!) he was still uncovering deeper meaning in the tale.

I cannot recommend this enough. Stop what you're doing now and go get it.

I love God.

I have been in need of serious, honest, direct, candid prayer with the Lord. And He inspired me to go do a Holy Hour. And I picked up some literature for direction in prayer. And I prayed. And then He answered, with His own words, nonetheless. Really, I love God.

Here are the instructions I received about making a Holy Hour. Perhaps they will be of some help to you, readers, in your prayer:

Jesus speaks to your heart: "Come to me..and I will refresh you. How I have longed to see you and spend some quiet time with you, communing with you 'heart to hear' as best friends do. I know you are tired and weary from life's travails, toils, and troubles and those of the world. Dear One, I want you to tell Me all about them -- everything. All that concerns you concerns Me. I am a good listener and have all the time in the world. Stay with me and rest awhile. Let me fill you with love, joy, and peace. I alone can give true peace, a peace that the word cannot give. Tell me about your needs and your desires. Tell Me about your loved ones, how they are doing and their needs. They are my loved ones, too."

I needed serious, fast, clear assurance in discernment of something very close to my heart. It involves timing, reading signals, prudence, and whether or not (and how) to act. And here is how He answered me.

A patient man needs to stand quiet for a time, and then joy will burst forth from him. For a while he holds back his words, then the lips of many herald him. Accept whatever befalls you; in changes that humble you be patient. Let us fall into the hands of the Lord."

Sirach 1:20-21; 2:4; 3:18

When I humble myself enough to ask, He answers.

A Reply

I've been mulling over Agatha's post on the destructiveness of porn in our culture. This is a tough one. I have experienced people in my life who definitely had a problem with addiction to pornography, and it is beyond destructive. I can even remember some of the boys in high school bragging about their porn collections. At the time, I did not speak, fearing to seem 'uncool.' Oh, to be who I am now back in those days!

I struggled with commentator Aaron's objectives - because addiction to pornography is something that men relapse into (and women too, I am sure - not that I endorse her, but Oprah did a recent show on how the porn industry is more and more marketing 'soft' porn to women, a topic for another post, perhaps.) It is really difficult for women to be a crutch to the men in their lives struggling with addiction. Aaron suggests to us ladies that we should help and encourage fulfilling relationships in those we know with porn addiction. And this is really hard to do, as porn destroys a person's ability to have a fulfilling relationship. I don't have the answer to this, all I know is that porn is seriously evil. And Aaron's advice is good advice, but it is not easy. Let's pray fervently for an end to this epidemic!

St. Bonaventure

St. Bonaventure Enters the Franciscan Order
painted by Francisco de Herrera, the Elder, 1628


Today is the feast of the "Seraphic Doctor", St. Bonaventure. His work, "Journey of the Mind into God" was one of my favorite texts when I studied the medivals, though I hardly remember it now. Still, I often pray the payer, below, after I recieve Communion. It's incredibly difficult to pray, because what he wants, and what I should want, are so hard to ask for. But I hope reciting it will get me a few bonus points. Happy feast, everyone!

PRAYER OF ST. BONAVENTURE

Pierce, O most sweet Lord Jesus, my inmost soul with the
most joyous and healthful wound of Thy love, and with true,
calm and most holy apostolic charity, that my soul may ever
languish and melt with entire love and longing for Thee,
may yearn for Thee and for thy courts, may long to be
dissolved and to be with Thee. Grant that my soul may
hunger after Thee, the Bread of Angels, the refreshment of
holy souls, our daily and supersubstantial bread, having
all sweetness and savor and every delightful taste. May my
heart ever hunger after and feed upon Thee, Whom the angels
desire to look upon, and may my inmost soul be filled with
the sweetness of Thy savor; may it ever thirst for Thee,
the fountain of life, the fountain of widsom and knowledge,
the fountain of eternal light, the torrent of pleasure, the
fulness of the house of God; may it ever compass Thee, seek
Thee, find Thee, run to Thee, come up to Thee, meditate on
Thee, speak of Thee, and do all for the praise and glory of
Thy name, with humility and discretion, with love and
delight, with ease and affection, with perseverence to the
end; and be Thou alone ever my hope, my entire confidence,
my riches, my delight, my pleasure, my joy, my rest and
tranquility, my peace, my sweetness, my food, my
refreshment, my refuge, my help, my wisdom, my portion, my
possession, my treasure; in Whom may my mind and my heart
be ever fixed and firm and rooted immovably. Amen.

Like a Prayer

Agatha, I now know what a wedding is that is not Christ-centered. Last week I went to my cousin's wedding. It was outside at an old mansion and was "officiated" by a women who had received certification on the internet to marry couples.

Now, I say, if you're going to have a secular wedding, have a secular wedding. Get married in the great outdoors, on the beach, in a boat. Your union is civil, and that's a-okay if that's your thing. But if you're going to say you're certified by a "Christian" organization, which she did, you darn well had better mention Christ in the ceremony. And that she did not.

My cousin's wedding was not Christ-centered, nor I am certain his marriage will be. So I was upset when this lady read from some sort of "Magdalene Manuscript" (sorry, patroness!), and went on and on about about how the word for "holy" as in a "holy union" comes from the word "wholly"; therefore, my cousin and his bride were making something sacred by joining themselves together...ie. 1+ 1 apparently = sacred union. Um, I've never taken linguistics OR logic, but that doesn't fly by a long shot.

I think the officiant and my cousin could have taken a page from these Protestant weddings (of course Catholic ones, too!) and hear what it means to put the Lord at the center and forefront of one's marriage. Beauty will save the world. I am sure of it. If Christians have the courage to speak openly about Christ's work in their lives in a beautiful manner, I have no doubt people will be drawn into the mystery that offers so much joy. Some people think there is a fine line between being "spiritual" and being "religious." I say there is a great chasm. The very language we use to speak about the reality we know as Catholic Christians could draw others into the depth of happiness we are granted!

"Always be ready to give an explanation to anyone who asks you for a reason for your hope." 1 Peter 3:15

The Christ Centered Wedding

You are going to think that I only have Catholic friends, and I suppose you're not far off from the truth, when I tell you that I have only been to two non-Catholic weddings. Both were very traditional Protestant weddings, one Presbyterian and one Anglican.

As I was writing the card for this most recent, I found myself unsure about what to say. Typically I wish them to have a long and happy life together, with the Blessed Mother watching over them and Christ at its center. And also many children. (Say that with a little-old-lady-from-the-old-country accent.) Obviously, I couldn't call on the Blessed Mother, but could I ask that Christ be the center of their marriage and their family? Or was I stuck wishing them "all the best"? I decided to write the card at the reception.

I'm glad I waited because their wedding ceremony, and their reception, was truly Christ centered--and it was so inspiring. As Catholics, we have the Eucharist--Christ fully present and received into our hearts. But I think, unfortunately, we forget to talk about Christ. Christ, Christ's love, Christ's providence--everyone talked about this with regards to the couple. We were clearly there because in God's mercy and love, He brought this couple together. And they too were described not as the funniest people or the best people to have on a hiking trip (though they are those things too), they were described by their Christian character: humble, generous, loving.

Obviously I have been to tons of Catholic weddings, and Christ is at the heart of them all--and even with the couples who didn't care all that much, he was present in the Eucharist, our Lord, who died and suffered for us, but rose again and gave us that, the greatest of gifts--but this week I found myself wishing we hadn't lost the language and the courage to speak openly about our love for Him, and our desire for the riches of a fully realized Christian life, for ourselves, and, most of all, for the couple.

(Icon by Monastery Icons)

Eggplant Goodness!

This is MUST TRY recipe for eggplant lovers! I made it on my grill on a cookie sheet this past week - and it is creamy and delicious! Try it. You'll never go back...

A Few Random Notes

I wanted to thank Aaron and Joe for their comments in response to my post about the destructiveness of pornography. I think this is such an important and powerful topic and I was grateful for their insight.

It is interesting and a little scary to begin thinking about this subject. It is both prevalent in our culture, and likely a problem with someone we know and are close to. I was grateful then, especially, to Aaron's three concrete points about what women can and should do:

1) Never cut a guy slack on this issue
2) Yet, be supportive and patient, not "irate"--since this is a lingering addiction
3) Strive for full, loving, fulfilled relationships to battle deep temptations

As a side note: I've always really loved JPII's formulation of the phrases "Culture of Death" and "Contraceptive Mentality". I want to think about this a bit more, but there is surely a connection between contraception and pornography and their widespread acceptance in our culture. I don't suppose we'd have the one without the other (and, lets face it, though the pill is only 60 years old, they are both as old as sin).

Elsewhere, there has been some really interesting discussion about Kagan and her Clinton-era brief about partial birth abortion making her ineligible for the job as Supreme Court Justice. Check out Will Saletan's article in Slate, and Ross Douthat's addendum in the New York Times. Saletan begins:

Fourteen years ago, to protect President Clinton's position on partial-birth abortions, Elena Kagan doctored a statement by the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists. Conservatives think this should disqualify her from the Supreme Court. They understate the scandal. It isn't Kagan we should worry about. It's the whole judiciary.

Kagan, who was then an associate White House counsel, was doing her job: advancing the president's interests. The real culprit was ACOG, which adopted Kagan's spin without acknowledgment. But the larger problem is the credence subsequently given to ACOG's statement by courts, including the Supreme Court. Judges have put too much faith in statements from scientific organizations. This credulity must stop.

On a lighter note: Have you see this? It's grand.

(HT: The Anchoress)

Brief Book Review: Bees

I just finished reading The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd. I realize I'm several years behind the book craze and a few years behind the release of the movie, but I tend to stick with classic literature unless something in the bookstore really draws my attention. My students read it during one of their earlier high school years for summer reading, so I thought I'd check out "what the kids are into." It was 50 cents at a booksale, too. Okay, I'm done.

The book was entertaining enough, and certainly easy to read on the train, where I tackled the first half, and on the beach, where I rounded it out this week. However, I have mixed feelings about what the author did with the Blessed Virgin, who plays a significant role in the narrative. She does make it clear that the characters were raised Catholic but definitely practice their own brand of religion. However, Our Lady becomes a Christ-like figure at one point in the novel, making me mroe than a little uncomfortable. Again, the author makes it clear that this is NOT a Catholic practice, but I couldn't help but wonder if Protestants or non-Catholics who were reading the book had their stereotypes of us confirmed or exaggerated.

Has anyone else read it and had similar fears?

Woman in Iran Condemned to Death...by Stoning

CNN posted this news story a couple days ago about a 42-year-old mother of two who has been condemned to death of an alleged adultery. Five years ago, she received a punishment of 99 lashes for this 'crime.' It is unclear that she is guilty, but as far as Iranian officials are concerned, she has been re-arrested, jailed, and condemned to death by stoning. She will buried to to her waist and stoned with rocks big enough to cause pain, but not large enough to kill her immediately.



If you want a very raw look at this punishment, check out the film The Stoning of Soraya M, based on a true story from the 1980's. Soraya was a mother of 4 and her husband decided he wanted to divorce to marry a 14-year-old girl with a rich family. Soraya refuses the divorce and her husband successfully convinces the men of the town (through blackmail) to find her 'guilty' of adultery and stones her. After the stoning, the husband decides he does not want to marry the young girl anymore. The film is based on a book written by journalist Freidoune Sahebajm. Yes ladies, this still happens and it WILL continue to happen. Let's all get on our knees in intercession for this woman and so that the scales will fall from their eyes to the evil of death by stoning.

A Shout Out

A huge thanks to my confirmation saint for all of the graces she gave me through her intercession for me today. St. Maria Goretti, continue to pray for us!

Vacation...All I Ever Wanted

I'm blogging from the great state of New Jersey where I am technically "on vacation" for the week visiting my family and some of our extended family who all converged in the area for a wedding. All I can say is that I need a vacation after this vacation. I've already scheduled confession for 4:30 on Saturday at my parents' parish. This is not an excuse to let my mouth go free with all of the things I'm frustrated with, but rather a pre-emptive strike to remind myself that with God's grace I can start over at every moment trying to love the people that God has put right in front of me.

I remember in a graduate course on St. Augustine my professor, an Augustinian priest, said that in a little known sermon, St. Augustine speculated that God ordains our particular family members for us to take care of, since we can't take care of Christ in every person throughout the world, and this small community of family who we don't choose, is entrusted to us to be the Christ who we care for.

Okay, Lord. I get it. :)

On the iPod

I love Imogen Heap and the band Frou Frou. I have been loving the song, Hear Me Out, from Frou Frou's Details album. It's not a workout song, but it is more of a posh dinner or cocktail party song. Here's the recording of the song from youtube and lyrics - enjoy!



I join the queue on your answer phone
And all I am is holding breath
Just pick up I know you're there
Can't you hear?
I'm not myself

Go ahead, enlighten me
You could say anything
Small talk will be just fine
Your voice is everything
We owe it to love
And it all depends on you

So listen up
The sun hasn't set
(I refuse to believe that it's only me feeling)
Just hear me out
I'm not over you yet
(It’s love on the line, can you handle it?)

So how do I do normal?
A smile I fake
the permenant wave of
cue-cards and fix-it kits
Can't you tell?
I'm not myself

I'm a slow motion accident
Lost in coffee rings and fingerprints
I don't wanna feel anything but I do
And it all comes back to you

So listen up
"This" sun hasn't set
(I refuse to believe that it's only me feeling)
Just hear me out
I'm not over you yet
(It’s love on the line, can you handle it?)

So listen up
Look at me straight
Just hear me out
Don't make me wait
I'm not myself
I can't take this
Love's on the line
Is that your final answer?

I join the queue on your answer phone
And all I am is holding breath
Just pick up, I know you're there...

So listen up
"This" sun hasn't set
(I refuse to believe that it's only me feeling)
Just hear me out
I'm not over you yet
(It’s love on the line, can you handle it?)

Basil Pesto

Having an Independence Day party? Want to try a new recipe? One of my favorite summer recipes is basil pesto. Well, truth be told, it just a favorite recipe any time of year. This creamy sauce goes well on salads, poultry, pasta, caprese salad, veggies - just about anything as far as I am concerned! Here's the recipe for you to enjoy!!

First, you need a food processor. I have tried with a mortar and pestle, and it is very laborious and your results are not as good. Ingredients and directions: a good amount of fresh, fragrant basil anywhere from 2 to 3 cups - from your own garden or farmers market I have found is best. But store bought is okay too. Remove the stems - you only want the basil leaves. Place in the processor. Then add cut up parmigiano-reggiano (parmesan) cheese and cut up romano-peccorino cheese. I usually purchase a wedge of each and cut them up to add in the processor. Add about 1/4-1/2 cup of pine nuts. Cut up one or two cloves of garlic and add to food processor. (Cutting up the cheese and garlic makes it blend nicer than just putting in one large hunk of each). Add a pinch of sea salt and extra virgin olive oil to get desired consistency - more oil means more liquidy, less chunky. You can also add less cheese and pine nuts to make it more liquid-like. Blend in the processor. After blending, taste and decide if it needs anything else. You can always add more of each ingredient to get it to the desired taste.

To serve this luscious treat, you can cut up a nice home-made bread and serve with cold cuts, cheese, and olives as a primo piatto (first course). Or make a bruschetta with tomatoes and fresh mozarella. You can toss in a pasta or serve on a poultry dish. The sauce goes really well with a nice crisp, chilled chardonnay (my favorite is Kendall Jackson - great quality for a good price) or a sweet Riesling or sauvignon blanc. Enjoy and watch all of your guests do the same!

The Destructivenes of Porn

This is a subject I've been wary to approach on The Magdalene Sisters, but I think it needs to be broached anyway. Porn is, alas, incredibly pervasive in our culture. We'd be naive to think that the "destructiveness" of porn does not affect our own lives as single catholic women, but it certainly does, and if we are spared this temptation, then we will almost surely have to confront this issue in someone we love at some point in our lives.

For some reading on the topic I highly recommend Mary Eberstadt's amazing article in the June/July issue of First Things: The Weight of Smut

...No one reasonable would doubt that there is a connection between watching sex acts and trying out what one sees—especially for adolescents, who rather famously and instantly ape the other influences on their lives, from fashion to drug use and more, as has also been copiously studied.

And this list is just one possible way of starting a conversation about the consequences of today’s novel sexual obesity. There is also the question of what the same material does to adults—about which another empirical record is also being amassed, and about which more will be said later in this essay. Pornography today, in short, is much like obesity was yesterday—a social problem increasing over time, with especially worrisome results among its youngest consumers, and one whose harms are only beginning to be studied with the seriousness they clearly deserve.

Other sources:
+ Barbara Hollingworth in the Washington Examiner
+ The Witherspoon Insitute's The Social Cost of Pornography

Woman Warrior of the Month: Montserrat Grases

I discovered this month's woman warrior, Montserrat Grases, while at a womens' prayer reflection at an Opus Dei center in Chicago. A friend of mine mentioned that she really liked her, so I endeavored to learn more about her. She died young - only 17, from cancer. She was born in Spain on July 10, 1941, which makes her a fitting feature for the month. She did nothing extraordinary in the eyes of the world, but she suffered with heroic virtue and sought to live her life so that she did "everything for Love. In that way there will be no little things: everything will be big. Perseverance in the little things for Love is heroism." (from St. Josemaria Escriva, The Way . This reminded me immediately of Mother Theresa's famous quote of doing small things with great love. It also rang the bells of St. Therese's "Little Way" that I find so beautiful (and difficult!)

One of the things I really like about Montserrat is the description of her temperament as "strong and out-going" which caused her to be quick tempered and argue frequently. Who cannot relate to that? However, "little by little, through daily struggle, she developed a tranquil and serene character." She is described as being interiorly oriented to the Lord so much that she developed a "generous docility to whatever our Lord asked of her." I don't know about you, dear readers, but I have had a very difficult time being generous and docile to what the Lord has handed me. I think in my own way, I cope with it. But I still ask God why, and sometimes I spiritually sulk a little - like an angry adolescent. So, I really need this little lady's intercession!

However, her true courage developed when she was diagnosed with bone cancer in 1958. When her parents told her, she simply accepted this fact with more peace and serenity than her family and friends. When she was told her reply was, "I just thought I had to be strong. I kissed my crucifix and said serviam.... I am not afraid of pain because I think that if I'm faithful to God each day in what He asks of me, He will help me when the hard part comes." Montserrat practiced humility, acts of faith, hope and love and constant prayer throughout her life and especially during her last days as the cancer took her life. She kept little notebooks with her spiritual thoughts, and during the last days of her life she wrote, "I've complained enough, but I've fought. Some disheartening moments; but in spite of everything--joy." Perhaps that needs to be my new motto. "In spite of everything--joy"!

Montserrat Grases died on Holy Thursday in 1959, with her last words uttered as she looked a picture of Our Lady, "How much I love you. When are you coming to take me?" Hers is a courage that was manifested that reminds us that "sanctity is not something removed from ordinary life, but that it is the serene, cheerful, simple, and at the same time heroic, correspondence to the will of God."

*All quotes taken from Mercedes Eguibar's booklet, Montserrat Grases: Christian Heroism in Everyday Life, published by Scepter Booklets, NY 1980.

June 30th

The year is halfway over!!!! Have we done (or begun) what we've resolved to do in 2011?

Julian?

Edith?

Agatha?

"Lady" Gaga

Even the name is confusing. A lady? Seemingly far from it. Gaga? A reference to baby language or men's ogling eyes? Just what does this 23-year-old think of herself? And is America really paying attention?

In the piece that I shared with the Magdalene sisters, several points have emerged that I think are worth thinking about as modern, Catholic women (and by the way, Edith, the beats at the very least are helpful in cardio workouts, so I think you can cut yourself some slack).

1. In a postlapsarian world, women use sex (or at least their "wiles") to manipulate men to get what it is that they want. This sin is not new, ladies and gentlemen. Gaga has not invented it. Here I disagree with the author:

The genius of Gaga is to make it seem obvious — more so than even Madonna once did — that feminine sexuality is the perfect shucking knife. And Gaga is explicit in her insistence that, since feminine sexuality is a social construct, anyone, even a man who’s willing to buck gender norms, can wield it.

What is rather shocking to me, though, is the explicit, grandiose, and very "in-your-face" manner in which Lady Gaga is using her sexuality (and oftentimes a violent sexuality) to assert power, self-expression, and liberation from any cultural stereotypes of a woman. I think we have arrived at a place where even her actions are not as shocking to us as they should be. We are becoming comatose in the face of such wild sexual escapades. What will happen when our children think these images are normal to see and experience? What will happen if men (even good, Catholic ones) continue to expect rather extreme behavior in the bedroom to be turned on? What will happen when my young, female students think it is normal to hum, "I want your horror/I want your disease/I want your everything as long as it's free" at a younger and younger age?

2. A Catholic feminist must know that Simone de Beauvoir does not offer the answer for the liberation of women from being objectified by men.

The goal of “The Second Sex” is to get women, and men, to crave freedom — social, political and psychological — more than the precarious kind of happiness that an unjust world intermittently begrudges to the people who play by its rules. Beauvoir warned that you can’t just will yourself to be free, that is, to abjure relentlessly the temptations to want only what the world wants you to want. For her the job of the philosopher, at least as much as the fiction writer, is to re-describe how things are in a way that competes with the status quo story and leaves us craving social justice and the truly wide berth for self-expression that only it can provide.

No, Nancy. Men aren't going to objectify women an less if we throw out a "age-old" norms of what it means to be a woman. I think lumping sexual gratification of men into the same category of other "gender norms" is a mistake. De Beauvoir not only "re-defines" femininity, but she says that femininity is not even a reality. However, there are some realities to femininity that can't be dismissed, or redefined, or relegated to social conventions. Instead, they should be celebrated by women. The gifts we have are actually very powerful, and can be used very powerfully for the good. The problem, as I see it, is that Simone de Beauvoir and Lady Gaga both fail to escape becoming objectified by men. Both are on a quest to move beyond stereotypes and to break from from what they find to be oppressing. The problem, though, is that what is oppressing them both is a failure to see their value precisely in their creation as women -- ladies, even. To be a lady is a privilege and a responsibility, and it requires more guts, more confidence, and more self-respect than what is being offered today by pop star or philosopher alike.

Today's Feminism: Grappling with Gaga or Going Gaga?

Well, I could never have anticipated the day that the Magdalene sisters would post about Lady Gaga. But Julian brought this interesting NYT piece on Lady Gaga's rather, well, bizarre brand of feminism to our attention. Now, I'll admit (even if I loathe to do so), two of her songs have grown on me. In some bizarre way, I feel that I can relate to her song "Bad Romance" given my past experience, which was not a good one. And I love dancing to her "Telephone" in my Zumba class (which, by the way, I have found extremely therapeutic - Zumba, that is, not Lady Gaga). Yes, be shocked. I, Edith Magdalene, just admitted to liking two Lady Gaga songs and even relating to one of them. Trust me, no one is more shocked about that than yours truly. And at the same time, I am utterly repulsed by her vagrant sexuality, horrific outfits, and slight meglomania. (Oh, wait. Can meglomania be slight? Perhaps nothing ending in 'mania' can ever be slight...)

And yet, Tufts Professor Nancy Bauer and many others (not least of all, Lady Gaga herself) consider her a cultural icon, taking modern feminism to whole new level. Just consider the most recent edition of Rolling Stone magazine. Lady Gaga is scantily clad, with the most prominent piece of clothing she dons being a bra with two, um, assault rifles attached. What kind of message of female empowerment does something like that send? It makes those bra burning feminist of old look peaceful. I've also read that Lady Gaga is working with scientist to acquire corpses to put on state at a show next year. That makes Madonna look quite tame.

In her NYT article, Nancy Bauer uses Gaga's wackiness to describe the feminism of today's young women, who are perhaps suffering from the "Lady Gaga Syndrome". On one hand, today's young women have everything they could ever want. According to Bauer, they excel academically and fill the highest level university classes. On the other hand, after class, these same girls go home, put on the scantiest outfit they can find and go out for a night of sexual exploits (where they are usually the ones who are exploited). As Bauer puts it: "Is this an expression of . . . strength as a woman or an exercise in self-objectification?" Here's what else she has to say:

Lady Gaga idealizes this way of being in the world. But real young women, who, as has been well documented, are pressured to make themselves into boy toys at younger and younger ages, feel torn. They tell themselves a Gaga-esque story about what they’re doing. When they’re on their knees in front of a worked-up guy they just met at a party, they genuinely do feel powerful — sadistic, even. After all, though they don’t stand up and walk away, they in principle could. But the morning after, students routinely tell me, they are vulnerable to what I’ve come to call the “hook-up hangover.” They’ll see the guy in the quad and cringe. Or they’ll find themselves wishing in vain for more — if not for a prince (or a vampire, maybe) to sweep them off their feet, at least for the guy actually to have programmed their number into his cell phone the night before. When the text doesn’t come, it’s off to the next party.

What’s going on here? Women of my generation — I have a Gaga-savvy daughter home for the summer from her first year of college — have been scratching our heads. When we hear our daughters tell us that in between taking A.P. Statistics and fronting your own band you may be expected to perform a few oral sexual feats, we can’t believe it. Some critics of “hook-up culture” have suggested, more or less moralistically, that the problem is that all this casual sex is going to mess with girls’ heads. But whatever you think of casual sex, it’s not new. What’s mind-boggling is how girls are able to understand engaging in it, especially when it’s unidirectional, as a form of power.

I think even Carrie Bradshaw cannot compete with this. And it is really, really, scary. Even Bauer, who's quite liberal, sees that today's young women are consciously choosing exploitation and self-objectification as a form of female empowerment. The Lady Gaga Syndrome is even more destructive than Carrie Bradshaw et al. Thoughts?

How About Dessert?

What would a summer party be without dessert? Here are some healthy options that still capture summer's sweetness!

Irene Burkart's Peach Surprise (taken from July 2010 issue of Real Simple magazine)



Ingredients

* 2 large egg whites, at room temperature
* pinch of kosher salt
* 1/4 cup sugar
* 1/2 teaspoon pure almond or vanilla extract
* 2 large peaches, halved and pitted
* 1/2 cup vanilla ice cream

Directions

1. Heat oven to 450° F. Place a baking sheet in the freezer for at least 10 minutes.
2. Using an electric mixer, beat the egg whites and salt on medium until foamy. Increase speed to high. Gradually add the sugar, 1 tablespoon at a time, and beat until stiff and glossy, 2 to 3 minutes. Beat in the almond extract.
3. Cut a thin slice from the round side of each peach half (to stabilize it) and place on the chilled baking sheet. Spoon the ice cream into the cavity of each peach half and mound the meringue on top, enclosing the ice cream.
4. Bake until the meringue is golden brown, 2 to 3 minutes. Serve immediately.

What about popsicles? Summer is the best time to break out the fresh fruit and popsicle molds!


Always a classic, and a great alternative to over-sugared ice creams. And for a lady who is giving up sweets for a year (i.e. me), this is a nice, healthy treat. What are your favorite blends? I'm always looking!

Cantaloupe/Apricot Bars
Take ripe cantaloupe and apricots (without skin) and blend in a food processor until smooth. Place into popsicle mold and freeze. Then enjoy.

Mango/Raspberry Bars
Blend sweet manila mangos and raspberries in food processor until smooth. Place into popsicle mold and freeze. Enjoy :-)

How About Some Homemade Hummus?

Right now is an off time for me. I’m getting through an emotional mess, looking for job, trying to focus on my school work, and doing LOTS of cooking and working out. So far, those have been great therapy. My mother has a subscription to a great magazine called Clean Eating with all kinds of great recipes, and right now there are especially great ideas for summer fruits and veggies. And since summer time is the perfect time for parties, I am spending my off time honing my culinary skills for the time when I do get to have some dinner parties.

One of my favorite items to serve is hummus. I have been trying diligently to perfect a homemade hummus recipe for a few years now. I think I might just have it! The secret: using fresh, not canned chick peas! I wanted to try fresh because most canned beans are saturated in sodium, which is not good for the heart and makes your body bloat. Once I met a personal trainer who cautioned me to stay away from what he called “sodium bombs,” and trust me, I notice a difference.

Here is what I do – it is a bit time consuming, but that creamy, delicious, nutty hummus is always worth it to me! I take 1 CUP of fresh chick peas – the hard ones in the bag and I soak them over night in 3 CUPS of water. (N.B., for every 1 cup chick peas, use 3 cups water). In the morning, I just take the sauce pan and bring the water to a boil, then simmer on low heat for one hour and make sure your saucepan is covered.

Next, I drain the water and cool the chick peas. Because I have the time, I usually cool mine in the fridge over night, but you don’t have to do that. But do let them cool down. NOW, here’s the kicker.

Next step: Place the chick peas in a bowl and cover with water. There is a tough skin around these little beans that needs to come off in order to get the smooth, creamy consistency. The moisture from the water makes the skin slide right off the chick peas. Peel them. Trust me – it makes all the difference. It will take a while, so if you can, sanction someone to help you.

When you finish peeling them, place your peeled chick peas into your food processor and add two tablespoons TAHINI, the juice of 2 SMALL LEMONS (fresh is a much better flavor), a nice drizzle of EXTRA VIRGIN OLIVE OIL, 1 or 2 cloves of GARLIC (two if you like a strong garlic flavor, one if you don’t), a little salt, and a little paprika and pulse on your processor to get the desired consistency.

Once you are finished, taste a bit. If you want more garlic, add more. Too much garlic? Add more lemon juice. More tahini, go ahead! Tahini gives it a rich, nutty flavor. The great thing about hummus is that you can add whatever amount of flavor you like. When I serve it, I like to make a little dip in the middle, drizzle with olive oil, paprika, black olives, and feta cheese. Hummus serves great with cucumbers from your garden or luscious colored bell peppers from the farmers market. And a great salty option for us gluten free Magdalenes is blue corn chips –
or better yet – make your own by slicing up some corn tortillas and throwing them in your oven for a while. Perfect party platter! Enjoy! Store leftovers in the fridge – hummus keeps great.

The Nativity of St. John the Baptist

Today is the Feast of the Birth of St. John the Baptist. this is one of the oldest and most popular feasts of the calendar, partially because it falls so close to the solstice, and therefore "baptized" old Pagan solstice festivities. (It is also, the day that is farthest away in the calendar from Christmas Eve--back when the Christian calendar was the calendar that defines our seasons, this clearly had some significance which is now lost.) St. John is the patron of half a billion things, including: baptisms, epilepsy, the Diocese of Charleston South Carolina, and of Portland, Maine, half the towns in Italy, Jordan (obviously), Quebec & all of French Canada, tailors (this cracks me up), and convulsive children.

In French Canada, the feast is a day for drunken revelry. The streets of the finest walled city in North America, Quebec, smell like stale beer for a good week following the all night parades and parties. Like most manifestations of religion in French Canada, the day has become a holiday of nationalism, rather than a feast of a great Saint.

In Barcelona, according to our friend, the Courtier, it is also a day--or rather night--of great festivity--and a lot of fire. One of the common customs of La Nit de Sant Joan is to build a fire in the streets, and throw slips of paper with their sins written on them into the flames.

Well, I shan't be doing that, though I do foresee some sparklers in my near future. Instead, I think I'll head across the street for confession and Mass this afternoon. St. John the Baptist, pray for us!

The More We Lose, the More We Gain

With God, the more we seem to lose, the more we gain. The more He takes materially, the more he gives spiritually. We love Him partly for His gifts. If they are no longer visible we come to love Him for Himself alone. It is by seeming to deprive us of those gifts that He paves the way for His most precious one of all, because it embraces everything. Souls, once they have totally surrendered themselves to His action, see everything that happens to them in a favorable light.

Jean-Pierre de Caussade, The Sacrament of the Present Moment/Self-Abandonment to Divine Providence

St. Thomas More + Meg

Today is the feast of one of my very favorite saints and martyrs: St. Thomas More. I wanted to post today this letter to his daughter Meg, with whom he had a remarkable relationship. Meg's husband, Will Roper, ended up writing the first biography of More. This letter was written while More was in Prison

Although I know well, Margaret, that because of my past wickedness I deserve to be abandoned by God, I cannot but trust in his merciful goodness. His grace has strengthened me until now and made me content to lose goods, land, and life as well, rather than to swear against my conscience. God's grace has given the king a gracious frame of mind toward me, so that as yet he has taken from me nothing but my liberty. In doing this His Majesty has done me such great good with respect to spiritual profit that I trust that among all the great benefits he has heaped so abundantly upon me I count my imprisonment the very greatest. I cannot, therefore, mistrust the grace of God.

By the merits of his bitter passion joined to mine and far surpassing in merit for me all that I can suffer myself, his bounteous goodness shall release me from the pains of purgatory and shall increase my reward in heaven besides.

I will not mistrust him, Meg, though I shall feel myself weakening and on the verge of being overcome with fear. I shall remember how Saint Peter at a blast of wind began to sink because of his lack of faith, and I shall do as he did: call upon Christ and pray to him for help. And then I trust he shall place his holy hand on me and in the stormy seas hold me up from drowning.

And finally, Margaret, I know this well: that without my fault he will not let me be lost. I shall, therefore, with good hope commit myself wholly to him. And if he permits me to perish for my faults, then I shall serve as praise for his justice. But in good faith, Meg, I trust that his tender pity shall keep my poor soul safe and make me commend his mercy.


And, therefore, my own good daughter, do not let you mind be troubled over anything that shall happen to me in this world. Nothing can come but what God wills. And I am very sure that whatever that be, however bad it may seem, it shall indeed be the best.

On the Legitimacy of Sex

No, this isn't a Thomistic argument. It's a rant. So, consider yourself forewarned.

Last week I was up on campus picking up something from my classroom when I ran into a middle-aged colleague. We chatted about why we found ourselves inside the gates of the school and realized we were both recipients of grants to write lessons for the summer. After being asked, I divulged that I had been given a grant to write two major units on the Theology of the Body for the sophomore and senior religion classes. The teacher was unfamiliar with what the TOB was, so I took the opportunity to *briefly* explain it as John Paul II's theology of what it means to be an embodied soul and how important the body and all of its actions, including sexual encounters and relationships, are as they have a baring on who we are and who we are becoming.

"So, you're still teaching that sex is only legitimate in marriage?" she said with a demeaning scowl.

I didn't know how to respond other than to get ticked. "Well, yes, I'm not sure why I wouldn't be teaching that at a Catholic school of this caliber. I'm also not sure that 'legitimate' is the best word choice though in explaining what the Church teaches." I wanted to walk away, but I stayed and defended the teaching a bit more, although I was met with even more eye-rolling, raised eyebrows, and a very real judgment in the air of being behind the times. I could just see the steam coming out of her eyes that yet another young person was repressed by the antiquated, oppressive Catholic Church.

Okay, maybe I'm embellishing. But I did feel judged. Legitimate? Do people have legitimate sex? What does that even mean? Are people around the world able to have sex outside of marriage? Why yes, I'm pretty convinced that people all over the globe are able to "legitimately" accomplish the deed. I'm also sure that it's legitimately pleasurable for them. And I'd even go as far to say that I *understand* that she is implying that sex is something good and communicates something between two people who love each other.

I should have responded, "Well, if you actually mean to say when you say "legitimate" is that sex is most sacramental, most an expression of the love between the persons of the Trinity when it's faithful, fruitful, exclusive, and total, then yes, it's only really legitimate in the sacrament of marriage."

Sometimes I think I should be presenting this material to my colleagues in addition to my students. A little seminar on the "legitimacy" of the Church's sexual theology couldn't hurt.

Happy Father's Day!

A big THANK YOU to the fathers of Julian, Edith, and Agatha, whom we all love dearly. And thank you to our priestly fathers, our Holy Father, and our Heavenly Father!

Blessings to all!

The Streak of Bad First Dates Comes to an End

Well, it's official. You know how warehouses have chalkboards indicating how many days without an injury have gone by and then they need to start over after an accident happens? I have a mental board in my head of how many consecutive awkward first dates I've been on. And I can finally start over!

So first of all, I will never date anyone less than a MAN again. Last night I was shown what it is that I desire: a man who is fun, incredibly intelligent, settled in a career, well-educated, driven, passionate, solid in the faith, had a plan for the night down which was appropriate and well-executed, etc. After last night, anything less in dating would feel unsatisfying but also unnatural. I felt fully alive and treated like a lady the whole time. He made me feel interesting just by looking at me a certain way or asking pertinent follow-up questions to my stories. AND he quoted The Godfather I and II. AND was able to talk about the sports I'm interested in. AND hold challenging, witty debates. We talked for three hours without even glancing at our watches. Did I say he could quote The Godfather? I mean really, it was a good date.

I don't know if there were fireworks on his end, or my end for that matter, but I know that I recognized something which felt good, right, and true. Who knows. Maybe sometime in the future I'll be starting another mental chalkboard in this game of dating. All I know is that I'm happy today.

The Archives of Atrocious Celebrity Fashion

Why is Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes at the top of this post? Did you ever think you'd see the day we'd begin posting about those two? Well, here's why.

It's easy to get sucked into celebrity gossip. VERY easy. Luckily, I have willfully blinded myself to the popular celebrity gossip websites. I get my fill of celebrity gossip from the celebrity fashion blog Go Fug Yourself. The subtitle says it all: "Fugly is the new pretty."

Jess and Heather share daily the most horrendous and hilarious celebrity outfits. They are witty, well read, and have a near encyclopedic knowledge of pop-culture, which makes their commentary hilarious, and totally un-vacuous. It's quite a feat for a celebrity blog. Plus, you learn all sorts of awesome things about fashion. Case in point, yesterday's post on Maggie Gyllenhal (below) elicited these wise words:

In many respects, I feel like I could Photoshop a septuagenarian's head onto this and you'd be like, "Yeah, all right, looks feasible." Except that no septuagenarian worth her blue rinse would pair a slacks suit that painfully sensible with a shawl made out of an airplane napkin. Score another point for the older generation.

I laugh out loud daily at their commentary, bad puns, pop-culture references and nostalgia, and amazing ability to find the worst outfits. Get your celeb fix from this lovely duo. You won't be disappointed.

Date Night Dilemma

Help!

I'm going out on a date tomorrow night, but all I know is the following: I'm being picked up at my house at 7:30.

Does this mean dinner? If so, what is the dress code?

A friend recommended that I consider dressing "smart casual," as the British say. I think that she's right. But what if it's not dinner? I mean, what else could it be though, right? People in their twenties and thirties are usually hungry around that hour...

Also, not to stress too much, but if it is dinner, he doesn't know about my allergy to gluten. What if he's planning something nice that involves gluten? What do I say? Seriously, only me! :)

To Edith

Edith, your post's title only brought up memories of my childhood. Did anyone else's father play Warren Zevon's "Poor, Poor Pitiful Me" unceasingly on the stereo? I swear my childhood is unrepeatable...

It pains me to think of what you've had to endure for the past few months, but I don't think you should be expecting to be healed just yet. This was more than a breakup. Breakups on their own just absolutely stink (insert stronger word here). There is nothing like the ending of a relationship, especially one that you thought was heading in a serious direction (let alone "'til death do us part"). I assume by now the shock has worn off and the reality of moving in a completely new direction is in full effect. I would be scared, lonely, and feeling like I did not have a road map.

However, you do have a compass in this. The crucifix is your way out. Keep your eyes set on Christ on the Cross, even as the world spins madly on around you. If you trust, really really trust in the Lord, I think you will see great things happening in your life. He wants you to leap into His arms on that crucifix in the beginning of this next chapter of your life. You almost have to close your eyes, flinch, and jump. He is up there, waiting for you in your sorrow. Stay close to Him in His, and He will not fail you.

Unending prayers,

Julian

Poor, Poor, Pitiful Me

That seems to be my mantra these days, and readers, I AM SICK OF MELANCHOLY! I need more help! Ok, so please oblige me, readers. Just let me get it all out. I am home in the Chicago suburbs, which I find dismal, I wanted to be married to someone who turned out to be totally wrong and I still don't understand and I'm still not over it, I don't have any friends here to speak of save my family of course, it's always gray, I cannot find work, and I cannot find any motivation on my dissertation. I look at myself in the mirror and think, "This is not how I saw my life at this time." This morning, I stayed in bed until almost 10 AM simply because I COULD. Ok, so poor, poor, pitiful me. I'll let the world's smallest violin play my sad song.

I don't like to be the girl who always complains and is miserable and it does not do my temperament any justice. I am trying to get to the city to find a good, solid group of young Catholics (they have to exist, right?), but nothing seems to be coming avail. So I am taking dance classes, fitness classes, and I think I am going to take up sewing. And I cook a lot. But I need more. I need to be around people my age in my situation in life. Any suggestions? I promise I'll try not to be so melancholy, but it is still a struggle :-).

Pro-Life Women in Politics

Thank you, NYTimes, for your recent op-ed. Worth reading, readers.

Solemnity of the Sacred Heart of Jesus and Immaculate Heart of Mary

I give myself and consecrate to the Sacred Heart of our Lord Jesus Christ, my person and my life, my actions, pains and sufferings, so that I may be unwilling to make use of any part of my being other than to honor, love and glorify the Sacred Heart. This is my unchanging purpose, namely, to be all His, and to do all things for the love of Him, at the same time renouncing with all my heart whatever is displeasing to Him. I therefore take You, O Sacred heart, to be the only object of my love, the guardian of my life, my assurance of salvation, the remedy of my weakness and inconstancy, the atonement for all the faults of my life and my sure refuge at the hour of death.

Be then, O Heart of goodness, my justification before God the Father, and turn away from me the strokes of his righteous anger. O Heart of love, I put all my confidence in You, for I fear everything from my own wickedness and frailty, but I hope for all things from Your goodness and bounty.

Remove from me all that can displease You or resist Your holy will; let your pure love imprint Your image so deeply upon my heart, that I shall never be able to forget You or to be separated from You.

May I obtain from all Your loving kindness the grace of having my name written in Your Heart, for in You I desire to place all my happiness and glory, living and dying in bondage to You.
Amen.

Prayer from St. Margaret Mary Alacoque, VHM

Thats "The One"

My best friend from college is getting married this fall. She is an incredibly low maintenance bride, and everyone is pitching in to help with this small, family centered wedding. Her future MIL is planning the reception, and I am designing the invitations, and her sister-in-law is giving flowers as a wedding gift, and all the bride has to do is nod "yes" or "no" to the hundreds of little decisions to be made in preparation for the wedding. (She's even letting us bridesmaids wear our own dresses!)

The one thing she cared about and had definite opinions on was finding a dress. She had been out scouting a bit, and had found a few dresses she liked, so she and I and another bridesmaid went shopping this last weekend to buy the dress.

This concept of "the dress" is hard. It is perhaps the most important piece of clothing you'll wear (certainly the most attention grabbing, even if it is simple). For a Christian who lives her life chastely and cares about the Sacrament, it is more than just an empty symbol too--it is white and pure and that means something.

But, on the other hand, it is just a dress.

At the shop, we looked at many gowns, all of which looked amazing on her, and none of which were right. They were mostly strapless, which she didn't want, and she was between sizes, which meant alterations, which brought the dresses out of her price range. Then, after looking at all these gowns, we pulled one off the rack. With a v-neck and empire waist and delicate embroidery, it was simple but graceful. And when she put the dress on, she looked so relieved, because it fit, it was modest, it was lovely, and it was on sale.

As I look at bridal magazines, I find that even in articles that talk about doing weddings on a budget, people are still will to drop several thousand dollars on a wedding dress--because the dress has such an aura around it. It's the one. But for people on a budget, the look of the dress is not everything. THE ONE happens to be one that fits, that is comfortable, and elegant and serves it's purpose (to make the bride look amazing), and is affordable and not stress inducing.

Her dress is not the most beautiful dress I've ever seen. It's not even the most beautiful dress she tried on. But is was "the one". Funny how that works.

Remembering Our Guardian Angels

In my present state of melancholy (which does not become me; it is not my normal temperament to be melancholy, but I feel like Eeyore nonetheless), I read an article that reminded me once again of the need to be joyful: I have a Guardian Angel with me always, to whom I can always turn. Just to remind people like me of this fact, Fr. Marcello Stanzione, an Italian priest, started a society to educate the faithful about our celestial guardians.

St. Padre Pio is known for being a great friend to his Guardian Angel, and in a letter to one of his friends, he writes:

Well, know that he is still powerful against Satan and his satellites; his charity has not diminished, nor will he ever fail in defending us. Develop the beautiful habit of always thinking of him; that near us is a celestial spirit, who, from the cradle to the tomb, does not leave us for an instant, guides us, protects us as a friend, a brother; will always be a consolation to us especially in our saddest moments.

God is good indeed, sometimes we just need a little reminder! Our Guardian Angels do just that!

Saying Goodbye

This morning I'll head to the commencement exercises at my school. Though last year was difficult to say goodbye to some students, this year strikes me as even more so. In my second year at this school, I was able to really immerse myself in the community, forging relationships with students that run deep. Though I am able to commend them to God out in the world in their future, a selfish part of me wants to keep them close by, not only to watch over them, but for my own sake! I really have learned a lot from their insights, and many of them show me a love that is really beautiful. I know, though, that I have more students to meet, and they have other teachers and professors to encounter. What a privilege to have been even a small part of their lives.

In an exciting note, she is our commencement speaker!

Off to get dressed in my best!

What is on Your Summer Bucket List?

Single ladies -- it's that time of year to make a mini-bucket list! And what better time to check things off than the summer months. Here's what is on my bucket list:

- Go to three concerts this summer. I LOVE music. And I love sharing the experience of music with other people. Agatha and I are going to one together. So now I just need to find two more :)

- Read fiction! I'm working on the Secret Life of Bees right now (got it at a booksale for 50 cents), but I also need to re-read Til We Have Faces for a book club. And I'd like to read Anna Karenina since my seniors read it for English. Not exactly beach reading, but I'd like to tie it into my lectures in the fall. Any other suggestions of great fiction?

- Go tubing or white-water rafting. It just seems like a summer thing to do.

- Visit this shrine.

- Perfect at least five new recipes this summer...not only meals but drinks, desserts, and appetizers.

What do YOU have in mind?

Babies, the Pill, and Infertility Response

Well, Edith, I think I like your theory. Now, I'm no medical doctor. My training is in theological ethics. But I find it really difficult to believe, even after only an undergraduate course in biology, that prolonged (probably around the time you're suggesting...ten years or so), use of the birth control pill wouldn't mess with one's fertility. Even if one stops taking the pill and so begins again to ovulate, it seems to me that it would take awhile for the body to bounce back to regulating itself. So, if my students at age 15 or 16 begin to use the pill, ten years later would mean that they are my age...

I'm also a little frightened at the "mini-pill" which suppresses ovulation and thickens cervical mucus (like the mainstream pill), but is taken for 12 weeks at a time...so you have about 4 periods a year. Call me old-fashioned, but this seems really weird.

What I find most fascinating is the increased rate of infertility in men, possibly linked the "anti-androgen" elements of the pill that are released into water sources.

The question then is: what are we doing??? We are inhibiting our bodies' natural functions to prevent pregnancy, supplementing our bodies with hormones that we should not really need after we get off the pill to get pregnant, risking the fertility of men...all for what...license to have sex?

The most effective way to get from point A to point B is a straight line. Instead we are running circles in our own lives to figure out where we are going.

Babies, the Pill, and Infertility

I have a theory. A theory about birth control and infertility treatments. I cannot tell you how many women I know who have been on the pill for about 10+ years, recently got married, and have now decided to get off the pill and try for a baby. And they cannot get pregnant. Their brains have simply stopped telling their bodies to ovulate. That is SCARY. So, they go to an infertility doctor and get put on another pill just to get pregnant. I cannot say this is true for everyone, but my anecdotal evidence leads me to suspect that a little more (well ok A LOT more) research needs to be done to assess the effects of prolonged birth control use on womens' fertility. I have a hunch that the results will be devastating. Thoughts?

Photo here

Woman Warrior of the Month: St. Philomena

It is uncommon for me to choose a woman warrior from the ancients, but with St. Philomena, I could not resist! I picked up a CD about the life of St. Philomena at a Church in Chicago and it completely set me on FIRE! This young saint was virtually unknown until her remains were discovered in the catacombs in Rome in the 1800's. Immediately upon the discovery of these remains, miracle after miracle has been attributed to this powerful little saint's intercession. In fact, as I've learned, Philomena (meaning 'Daughter of Light) was canonized solely on the basis of the miracles attributed to her intercession.

The story of her life has been revealed through the personal revelation of religious in the early 1800's. According to the revelations, Philomena was the daughter of a Roman nobleman who converted to Christianity before Philomena was born. When the Emperor Diocletian saw how beautiful this young girl was, he immediately asked her father for her hand in exchange for a fantastic job position with a pretty hefty pay. Both of Philomena's parents plead with her to accept. But as we know, Diocletian was no friend to Christians. She refused, telling her parents: “My virginity, which I have vowed to God, comes before everything, before you, before my country. My kingdom is heaven.” This was a thirteen year old - out of the mouths of babes!

Diocletian tried everything - first he promised her all the riches she could want. When she still refused, he resorted to violence - he starved her and threw her in prison, scourged her as Christ was scourged, tried to drown her in the Tiber (an Angel of the Lord untied her chains), shot her with arrows that did not kill her, so he tried flaming arrows, which Angels averted back to the archers and finally beheaded her. If St. Philomena is not a woman warrior par excellence, then I don't who is!

Her intercession has been invoked for physical and spiritual healing and especially for healing in purity, as she was determined to remain pure. She is truly a saint for our times, as we are in dire need for models of purity. God always gives us what we need, and it is through His great Providence that He has made known this little saint to us in modern times. I encourage all of you to check out this site about her and get to know her - I know I am!

"The Horror, The Horror"

So reads one review of the Sex and the City 2, according to this NYT article. I admit it, readers. I saw the first movie. I never really did follow the series, but I did catch a few episodes here and there. I think the whole thing is a travesty and that Carrie Bradshaw et al. are emblematic of what is wrong with women today.

I won't see this one, but reading about it makes me want to - well - SCREAM! From a gay marriage scene to dirty one liners that are absolutely unrepeatable to the whiny, bored with Mr. Big Carrie Bradshaw - I cannot imagine anything more tortuous. When I see women running out to see this on opening night, I cannot help but wonder - what is wrong with us ladies???

More Comments on Our Brave Women

Yesterday I linked to an enlightening series on women in the military, probably highlighted this week because of Memorial Day. The articles are a bit old at this point, so I'm hoping they publish more soon. I find this topic particularly fascinating, primarily because I dearly love a young woman who is serving in the Army. I don't know anyone who has worked harder mentally, physically, or emotionally to accomplish all that she has in the past few years.

I don't really want this to turn into a conversation about whether or not women should be in the military, but rather a conversation about some of the meaty material that the NYT provides us with. The Magdalene Sisters have already begun to explore the role of women in the workplace, and what this series offers is a glance into an incredibily demanding place of employment and service.

I find the third video here really interesting. I can't imagine what it's like to have to prove oneself physically by having to push oneself to make the male requirements, which are undoubtedly strenuous for males. I also appreciate her insights into dealing with death, consoling a unit, and finding meaningful work after her tours of duty.

One thing that Sergeant Bumgarner speaks to is the constant fear and vulnerability of being a woman on base with men. I can imagine a general sense of fear in another country and I can obviously imagine fear when engaged in combat. But the fact that women fear their own brothers in uniform, and the fact that MOST cases of sexual assault go unreported, AND the fact that women (even the married ones) fear getting pregnant is really grostesque to me and very contrary to the thing which our armed services are asked to protect and fight for -- true human liberty. This seems to be the next big frontier for women in the military...freedom to be protected and as protect others.

Women at Arms

This looks like a really interesting series. Busy beginning of the week, but I'll post on it, I promise! Maybe we can read it together, sisters?