Three 20-something women trying to figure out what it means to be lay, Catholic, and modern all at once.

December 12, 2009

On Preparing for Marriage

It's apropos that I write this post today. Today is the day Peter decided he wanted to become Catholic (he's half Mexican), and I am convinced that Our Lady of Guadalupe - whose feast it is today - (hence the picture) has had a hand in bringing us together. So for today, I'd like to meditate on commentator Aaron's holding me to promise to give more how-to-prepare-for-your-upcoming-nuptials thoughts.

Some people recommend the Theology of the Body study guides. But I have to admit, I've gotten so SICK of hearing about is all the Theology of the Body stuff with marriage prep. I start to hear 'blah, blah, blah...human dignity...blah, blah, blah...male and female He created them...blah, blah, blah...complementarity.' And you get my drift. I thought to myself 'I get it already!!! Why am I getting more lectures about this stuff?' Another thing I got so sick of hearing about in marriage prep was 1 Cor 13 - 'love is patient, love is kind...' Yep. Kinda started sounding kitschy.

But then I realized it. This is all fine and dandy stuff. And when you read about it, that's exactly what it sounds like. What we must do is LIVE it. Love does have to patient, especially when your future spouse leaves dirty dishes around. It has to be kind when you want to scream at him for leaving that dish. It cannot be boastful, it cannot be angry, it cannot keep a record of wrong doings to lord over your spouse to hurt them. And trust me, that's especially easy to do. It cannot be self seeking, even when sometimes you just want it to be all about yourself, especially when you are tired, sick, or frustrated with something at work or school. I've learned and will continue to learn the meaning of "love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres,"

Some little things I do (and I am sure Peter will read this), is whenever Peter uses all the toilet paper and of course, never refills it, I take it upon myself to do it, as my little sacrifice (is it a sacrifice anymore now that I've told you?) Now, it does not even bother me anymore. I also try to take care of the dish washer - but Peter has started helping me with that too. Even though we still have two months to the day (hey, who's counting?), my house where we'll live after the wedding is more and more feeling like ours. I think we need to understand what it means that love is a choice. I choose to love Peter despite his flaws, and he chooses to love me despite mine. But I choose to love him as particular, unique, individual. Not just any man can by my spouse. We've chosen each other in all our particularity. That makes a difference, because how you and your spouse do things, communicate things, decide things will be totally different.

In terms of books....I've not gotten too many recommendations at the present moment, but I promise to be thinking about it. To be honest, I've taken to reading Jane Austen novels, which always include marriages and making matches. That's been not only funny, but makes me more and more look forward to the the marriage. Austen has such a way of portraying human character and the importance of virtue in marriage. My father did send me one that I've not yet read called Marriage: A Path to Sanctity.

One last thing. A great grace has been taking Natural Family Planning classes together. We are learning about how mostly mine, but both of our bodies work with respect to our reproduction, and it is even helping us with other things, like nutrition and exercise - both of which play a huge role in reproduction. I guess what I am trying to say, is that NFP is helping us to see how to be stewards to our own bodies, and to prepare them for whatever God may have in store. Hope this helps our readers and any other reading suggestions, advice, etc. is welcomed!!! God bless, and Happy Feast of the Virgin of Guadalupe today!

1 comment:

Julian said...

Edith, what a wonderful reflection on what you are experiencing. 1) I remember the joy when you told your family and friends about Peter's conversion. It seems like it was yesterday!; 2) I think your comments about the Theology of the Body are really interesting and we should explore them further -- a post from me to come soon; 3) NFP and the body -- I'm so thrilled to see how it's making you and Peter in tune with the meaning of the body as a whole. I have this book on my nightstand about John Donne and the meaning of the body, and I'm going to reflect on it soon. Such a rich post!

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