Three 20-something women trying to figure out what it means to be lay, Catholic, and modern all at once.

February 3, 2011

Let me rest

I am tired. I am tired of waking 2 hours before the sun. I am tired of juggling my morning routine with the bus schedule. I am tired of never seeing the sun. I am tired of only seeing the sun outside my office window. I am tired of having a to do list of absolutely essential things to do that is a mile and a half long and never gets done. And that's just at the office. I am tired of never cooking, but too tired to cook. I am tired of feeling guilty about not liking my job. I am tired of trying to find alternatives. I am tired of burdening my friends with my weariness. I am tired of wanting to go to bed at 8 pm. I am tired of feeling guilt every time I think of a far away friend who I haven't talked to in a month. I am tired of missing my Mom's phone calls and worrying about my sister's work. I am tired of the way my fridge smells and the way I can never keep my room tidy and the huge mound of papers i have to go through on my desk. I am tired of having to take the subway everywhere. And tired of forgetting to buy nails. I am tired of nightmares and tired of butterflies in my stomach and tired of clenching my jaw. I'm tired of having something to do every day. I am tired of taxes. I'm tired of lunch. I am tired of only seeing beautiful things on my computer screen. I am tired of being so scattered. I am tired of not finding joy. I am tired. Lord, give me rest.


Maria said...

Oh Agatha, my heart goes out to you, because I was there, in your spot just six months ago. I know how you are feeling. Take heart, though, because the dawn will break! It really will. God broke through my weariness and discouragement (in a radical way!) and will in your life too!! I will keep you in my prayers, friend!

Angela Miceli said...

I love you. So Much. And I am praying for you!

La Italiana said...

Going to Mass in 10 minutes and will offer it for you.

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