More on Obama at Notre Dame

Edith posted a little while ago about the ongoing situation with Notre Dame inviting President Obama to give a commencement address.

Since the announcement was made on Friday over 20,000 people have signed the petition asking Fr. Jenkins, president of Notre Dame, to revoke this invitation.

That is not likely to happen, but a group of students have come up with a good perhaps compromise solution (as reported on American Papist):

Myself and eight other students, with more co-signing literally by the hour, have submitted a letter to Fr. Jenkins, asking to make a public, vocal statement that the university strongly disapproves with the President's actions. I invite you to read it on our Web site here.

Meanwhile, NRO is hosting a symposium A Moral Exemplar? Should the University of Notre Dame honor our most anti-life president? with people like George Weigel and Fr. Schall weighing in.

Prof. McInerny's essay, which Edith linked to, is excellent and powerful, and provacative for all the right reasons: "One has groaned at previous selections, but the invitation to Barack Obama is far from being the usual effort of the university to get into warm contact with the power figures of the day. It is an unequivocal abandonment of any pretense at being a Catholic university..."

I think the answer is clear: alumni and current students should contiue to be vocal about their disappointment in the University. And the rest can be left up to God.

So What Do You Make of This??

I saw this today, and I had to share. This morning, it was announced that President Barack Obama will be speaking at Notre Dame's commencement. Wow, yikes, shock. Professor of philosophy Ralph McInerny wrote in The Catholic Thing today responding to this...well...disappointment to say the least and travesty to say the most. He wonders what priest will say the commencement Mass...not an unworthy thought, right? Ok, ok, so Obama is not Catholic, but McInerny points out that the president Fr. Jenkins is. Will he say the Mass and receive the body, blood, soul, and divinity of Christ? McInerny does not think so, because praising an abortion president, inviting him to speak at your university's commencement, and honoring him there is right on par with abortion-supporting politicians, according to McInerny. But if he won't...then who will? McInerny hits the nail on the head when he writes:

By inviting Barack Obama as commencement speaker, Notre Dame is telling the nation that the teaching of the Catholic church on this fundamental matter can be ignored. Lip service may be paid to the teaching on abortion, but it is no impediment to upward mobility, to the truly vulgar lust to be welcomed into secular society, whether on the part of individuals or institutions.

I don't even know what to think about this. I'm fighting fury and feelings of doom and gloom. What are your thoughts? What are we to do?

Let's Face It

I wear the same makeup everyday. The exact same makeup. One shade of eyeshadow, one shade of eyeliner. The only spicing up I do is in my blush or lip gloss, depending on the day...and I only have two options. Pathetic!!! Please help me to mix this up and channel some creativity. How do I find new shades that work for me without spending a lot of money trying to test out new products? Has anyone ever sat at a makeup counter and asked for help? And what kind of word is browbone, anyway? :)

On Fatherhood

So tomorrow is St. Joseph's day, and I've already posted on the person of Joseph, but I wanted to take some time to consider fatherhood. Who better to reveal human fatherhood than St. Joseph? I was just at a lecture given a priest on the gift of child-like faith and how it has been lost in post-modern secular society. He said what we primarily must recover is not just the sense of God as our Creator--but more importantly the sense of God as our Father, our loving Father. We might take for granted the words of Christ when He gave us the prayer the Our Father, but in fact, it was a very radical form of prayer to God. Israel would not even utter the name of God, and yet Christ tells us to invoke Him as our Father.

Why is this fatherhood so important and crucial to our time? Catholic psychologist Paul Vitz contends that nearly 9 times out of 10, those who subscribe to atheism had either absent fathers or bad relationships with their fathers. Our fathers encourage us, they protect us, they educate us, and they discipline us. But most importantly: they reflect God to us--they model His Fatherhood. (Just an aside-I don't know about you ladies, but I am such a daddy's girl and I love it! Yesterday, I picked up a book on Edith Stein that my father gave me and he wrote me a little not inside, telling me to pray to her to ask her intercession in my academic pursuits, as she was herself a doctoral student. It made me so happy to find that note; my father really instilled in me a devotion to her. I think sometimes fathers know their children better than the children know themselves). Our fathers are a blessing to us, and we should really take time to assess our relationship with our fathers and those relationships reflect ours with God.

There is one other event that got me thinking about fatherhood. Recently, Pope Benedict XVI declared June 19, 2009 to June 19, 2010 a year for priests. I rejoiced!! (By the way, have I mentioned yet how much I LOVE THE POPE?) I love priests! It might sound simple, but I really do. I am so grateful for the great gift of our priests. Today, I asked God to increase their love, to give them courage and bravery, and to give them His consolations. Not only has God given us our earthly, biological fathers - but He also has given us spiritual fathers in priests, the ones who stand in the very person of Christ to help us attain our salvation. Our God is Our Father indeed. He is generous, He knows our needs, and He provides everything we need to know Him--especially through our fathers-whether they be our earthly fathers or our priests. When I think about this, it brings to mind the words of the Psalmist in Psalm 8 proclaiming, "O Lord our Lord, how admirable is thy name in the whole earth! For thy magnificence is elevated above the heavens."

For the Feast of St. Joseph Part 2

My last post was a little cut off, so I decided to follow up my meditation with something a little bit deeper. There is a particular point that I wanted to revisit about St. Joseph, namely his role as guardian of the Holy Family. Have you ever heard of the devotion to Our Lady of America? The devotion is based upon the visions of Sister Mary Ephrem (Mildred Neuzil) in the Convent of the Precious Blood Sisters at Rome City, Indiana during the late 1950's. The crux of her message was to reveal the recognition of The Indwelling Most Holy Trinity in the Christian Family, with The Holy Family (Jesus, Mary & Joseph) as a model. Our Lady specifically asked Sister Mary Ephrem to pray for purity and promised manifold spiritual miracles to our country through our practice of purity. You can read the whole of the messages here.

Just as a side note, the visions have been canonically approved by the late Archbishop Leibold of Cincinnati and other bishops in the United States, but we are not of course, obliged to accept private revelations. I, however, find this devotion particularly beautiful and full of hope. But I seem to be digressing -- let me get to the point.

Sister Mary Ephrem had visions not only of the Blessed Virgin, but also of Christ and St. Joseph. She describes her vision of Joseph as:

His appearance, though quite youthful, gave at the same time the impression of rare maturity combined with great strength. He seemed a bit taller than medium height. The lines of his face appeared strong and purposeful, softened somewhat by a gentle serenity. I also saw his most pure heart at this time, Moreover, I saw the Holy Spirit in the form of a dove hovering above his head.

What I find even more beautiful are the words St. Joseph spoke to the Sister Mary Ephrem about himself and his role as guardian of Christ. He tells her:

It is true my daughter, that immediately after my conception, I was, through the future merits of Jesus and because of my exceptional role of future Virgin-Father, cleansed from the stain of original sin. I was from that moment confirmed in grace and never had the slightest stain on my soul. This is my unique privilege among men. My pure heart also was from the first moment of existence inflamed with love for God. Immediately, at the moment when my soul was cleansed from original sin, grace was infused into it in such abundance that, excluding my holy spouse, I surpassed the holiness of the highest angel in the angelic choir. My heart suffered with the Hearts of Jesus and Mary. Mine was a silent suffering, for it was my special vocation to hide and shield as long as God willed, the Virgin Mother and Son from the malice and hatred of men. The most painful of my sorrows was that I knew beforehand of their passion, yet would not be there to console them.
Their future suffering was ever present to me and became my daily cross. I became, in union with my holy spouse, coredemptor of the human race. Through compassion for the sufferings of Jesus and Mary I co-operated, as no other, in the salvation of the world.

We hear so much of Mary's Immaculate heart and her sorrows, but how often do we stop to consider her holy spouse, Joseph? Although the above quotations given from a private revelation, how far-fetched is this? We see in Scripture that Joseph protected Jesus and Mary when Herod sought to slaughter him. And this is the man that God Himself chose to give such honor as to guard His only Son. Yes, St. Joseph is a righteous and mighty man indeed.

For his upcoming feast, let us ask him to pray for us, to pray for our purity and that of our husbands. Let us ask him to preserve our husbands, to protect them, and to bring them safely to us. Even if we've not met our husband yet, St. Joseph will, through the grace of God, watch over him for us and spiritually prepare us to meet. May all of my sisters go to Joseph with their prayers and may he protect us all!

Here is a common novena prayed to Joseph.
Icon of St. Joseph found here.

For the Feast of St. Joseph Part 1

Ok, ok, so it IS St. Patrick's day, so shouldn't I write on him? Well, I decided to write on St. Joseph instead, whose feast is coming up on the 19th. Not to slight the awesome of St. Patrick. And it's not just because I am Sicilian and therefore biased (though that might play some small role. I was inspired by Julian's post on the online dating scene. How, you ask, was I inspired to write about St. Joseph by a post on dating? Well, St. Joseph is not only the patron of the Church, workers, fathers, and of those departing life, but he is also one patron (along with St. Anthony of Padua and St. Agatha--I think) of those seeking to find their husband or wife. Yep, St. Joseph is one of many saints whose intercession we can invoke to help us find a holy husband. Let me tell you a little bit more about him to share with you my appreciation for this wonderful saint.

There is of course, very little about Joseph in the Scriptures. There is mention of him in Matthew 1 when the Angel tells him not to be afraid to take Mary as his wife. In Matthew 2 Joseph heeds the Angel again when he takes the Holy Family into Egypt to escape Herod. He's mentioned in Luke 2 at the Nativity. We know Joseph was a carpenter and taught the young Jesus this trade. Some traditions recount that Joseph was much older than Mary, and he is often depicted in art as an aging man. I however, like the tradition that recounts Joseph as a young, robust, brave, and beautiful man, who took a vow of celibacy with the Blessed Virgin out love of God and love of her blessed purity.

St. Joseph had an amazing privilege of guarding the family at Nazareth. What an awesome and almost unfathomable thing to be the human father to the young Jesus! It was Joseph who taught Jesus how to live in the world. It was Joseph who was the Holy Spouse of the Blessed Virgin. He is the model husband--the kind of man each of us longs for. Let us then pray to Joseph, asking him to intercede for us, to watch over our future husbands (or for those who are married-our husbands), and to keep our hearts as pure as his own. The next post will continue this meditation! In the meantime, St. Joseph-Pray for us!

Up-dating Your Dating Profile

Online dating. Is is even possible to date on the internet? Shouldn't it be called online set up? Online introduction? Whatever it is, this phenemenon is everywhere, and the pressure for singles to create and update a dating profile is mounting. After discussing this with my single friends in the years after college graduation, we vowed not to "go online" until we were desperate and in our thirties (neither of which go together!). And yet, less than five years out of college, a few of us put ourselves up for auction on dating sites: some Catholic, some secular, but all without success. Have our opinions about it changed? Yes and no.

My current thoughts? About the same prior to my venture online. I think that making a profile on a dating website is about the same as the use of instant messenger or text messaging to communicate. The question for the Christian is really "How often. how much, or to what degree will the use of technology detract from or enhance our interpersonal relationships and communication with others?" I really don't have the answer, but in my personal experience, the use of said technology is inhibiting my real connection with those I love and with the man that I hope to love.

Going online is no different from Facebook in the end. You make a "profile" of yourself, posting information about yourself, pictures, ways to contact you up for the world to see (or thankfully, a restricted world that you can select with privacy settings!). Is it really you? No, not at all. It is some sort of facade. Do I really communicate with friends by posting on their wall? No. It's just enough of a gesture to show that I noticed them or their new status or new pictures, but does not necessarily indicate that I have time or the desire for a full-fledged conversation (sorry, I digress). Is it the real me that I put online for auction? No. I try to be as true to myself as I am so that anyone who pokes or emails or whatever the specific term for contact is gets legitimate information, but it's not me. To get to know me you need time, patience, and a little chase. Hell, I need those things to get to know myself! The real me cannot be reduced to a two-dimensional screen. The real me has so many layers, including flaws, that emerge over time and need to be willingly accepted.

And so, for me, going online really isn't "putting yourself out there." It's creating possible opportnities for dating, but it's providing a facade that is inevitably going to be cracked when you go on the first date. It is a blind date, even if you have some sort of "idea" as to what your date's interests and goals are. But it lends itself to preconceived notions, which can lead to immediate disappointment if you were really holding out for them or expecting what you were led to expect.

As for Catholic-specific sites, I find it problematic that many ask you to rank loyalty to doctrine. If you are like me, you might be tempted to only go out with those who adhere to as many options as are listed. But aren't we also called to engage the world? Doesn't that include meeting and dating people who are not necessarily of the same mind? Isn't it more exciting to dialogue, to challenge, to discover similiarties and differences?

Of course these are just my opinions, from one who is still single after "going online" and meeting people through other people. There are expectations with both situations - when you are set up with someone who is thought to be a good "match." I don't know what the answer is. I do believe that God is not inhibited by anything, and that He is, if I may, the omnipotent and omniscient "yenta." If he wants to use a dot com to accomplish His will, then He will. My advice is to discern how, where, and to what degree God calls you to put yourself out there in the "dating game." I don't feel called to post a profile, but I readily ask friends if they know any good, single men, and I try to join groups with people who share my interests.

Continued prayers for my beautiful, single friends and those good, single men out there who remain hard to find (thanks, Flannery O'Connor!).

Christian Unity

This past year, God has really placed in my heart a desire to pray for and to help foster greater Christian unity. I have been mulling over this passage from John 17 (verses 18-24) for months:

As thou hast sent me into the world, I also have sent them into the world. And for them do I sanctify myself, that they also may be sanctified in truth. And not for them only do I pray, but for them also who through their word shall believe in me; that they all may be one, as thou, Father, in me, and I in thee; that they also may be one in us; that the world may believe that thou hast sent me. And the glory which thou hast given me, I have given to them; that they may be one, as we also are one: I in them, and thou in me; that they may be made perfect in one: and the world may know that thou hast sent me, and hast loved them, as thou hast also loved me. Father, I will that where I am, they also whom thou hast given me may be with me; that they may see my glory which thou hast given me, because thou hast loved me before the creation of the world.

I love this part of John 17, but I'd recommend meditating on the whole chapter. What a magnificent prayer of Our Lord to be prayed right before His Passion! Almost as if He just saw the whole history of Christianity right before His very eyes! Christ prays for us to be one--so that the world may know who He is. What a scandal it is for us to squabble amongst ourselves, and yet real divisions, deep wounds divide His followers. But how are we to show others who Christ is if we cannot even agree among ourselves? Where do we begin to heal this very real wounds that fracture His sacred, mystical body and separate us from each other?

Recently the Pope came out with a statement on the priority for Christian unity. He writes that unity is essential for leading the world to God. Let me just quote his most beautiful and eloquent words:

The real problem at this moment of our history is that God is disappearing from the human horizon, and, with the dimming of the light which comes from God, humanity is losing its bearings, with increasingly evident destructive effects. Leading men and women to God, to the God who speaks in the Bible: this is the supreme and fundamental priority of the Church and of the Successor of Peter at the present time. A logical consequence of this is that we must have at heart the unity of all believers. Their disunity, their disagreement among themselves, calls into question the credibility of their talk of God. Hence the effort to promote a common witness by Christians to their faith -- ecumenism -- is part of the supreme priority. Added to this is the need for all those who believe in God to join in seeking peace, to attempt to draw closer to one another, and to journey together, even with their differing images of God, towards the source of Light -- this is interreligious dialogue. Whoever proclaims that God is Love "to the end" has to bear witness to love: in loving devotion to the suffering, in the rejection of hatred and enmity -- this is the social dimension of the Christian faith, of which I spoke in the Encyclical Deus Caritas Est.

Let us reflect this Easter on the priority of Christian unity, for it was one of the last and most fervent prayers of Our Lord on His way to Calvary...

Beautiful Bach

If you like classical music, do I have a suggestion for you! I am currently listening to a magnificent, young, female violinist Julia Fischer playing Bach's Partita No. 2 from NPR's website. You can listen to her play by clicking on the links on the left side of the page. I recommend especially the 'Chaconne' piece -- but the whole thing is so breathtakingly spectacular!

On Being Critical

Do you ever notice how women are so critical? For example, just the other day, I was looking at my blemishes close up in a mirror thinking how awful I must look, but when I stepped back to see myself, I realized that I actually looked quite lovely. Why are we women so critical -- not only of others, but also of ourselves? We are always quick to compare ourselves to others, their looks, their accomplishments, their clothes, shoes, friends -- everything! I was thinking about Julian's recent post about being down on herself and I could so relate to it!!! I am sure men struggle with this in their own way too, but women can be so judgmental and critical of themselves that they fail to see their goodness. I'm at a loss! What do you suggest to get out of being overly-critical and judgmental?

Is Food the New Sex?

The Hoover Institute's Mary Eberstadt just published an excellent essay Is Food the New Sex?, looking at two of the most basic appetites in human existence (food and sex) and how the attitudes towards those things have changed dramatically in the past 100 years.

It's a tremendously rich article, and I plan to discuss some of the elements in it in coming days, but here are a few preliminary quotes:

ordinary language itself verifies how similarly the two appetites are experienced, with many of the same words crossing over to describe what is desirable and undesirable in each case. In fact, we sometimes have trouble even talking about food without metaphorically invoking sex, and vice versa. In a hundred entangled ways, judging by either language or literature, the human mind juggles sex and food almost interchangeably at times. And why not? Both desires can make people do things they otherwise would not; and both are experienced at different times by most men and women as the most powerful of all human drives.

One more critical link between the appetites for sex and food is this: Both, if pursued without regard to consequence, can prove ruinous not only to oneself, but also to other people, and even to society itself. No doubt for that reason, both appetites have historically been subject in all civilizations to rules both formal and informal. Thus the potentially destructive forces of sex — disease, disorder, sexual aggression, sexual jealousy, and what used to be called “home-wrecking” — have been ameliorated in every recorded society by legal, social, and religious conventions, primarily stigma and punishment. Similarly, all societies have developed rules and rituals governing food in part to avoid the destructiveness of free-for-alls over scarce necessities. And while food rules may not always have been as stringent as sex rules, they have nevertheless been stringent as needed. Such is the meaning, for example, of being hanged for stealing a loaf of bread in the marketplace, or keel-hauled for plundering rations on a ship.

These disciplines imposed historically on access to food and sex now raise a question that has not come up before, probably because it was not even possible to imagine it until the lifetimes of the people reading this: What happens when, for the first time in history — at least in theory, and at least in the advanced nations — adult human beings are more or less free to have all the sex and food they want?

Read the whole article here.

Congratulations!

Congratulations, Edith, on your academic accomplishments.  Not only are you stunning, funny, witty, and joyous, but you kick some serious PhD butt! 

Your sisters are so proud of you!!!! 

I Love the Pope!

This will probably be one of many blogs of this title because anyone who knows me know that I really do LOVE THE POPE (he and Fr. James Schall are hands down my two favorite members of the clergy). Anyway, Pope Benedict XVI commented yesterday for International Women's Day (by the way, happy belated Women's day), praising women for their work in the world and calling for a renewed commitment to the dignity of women. He spoke of Blessed Mother Teresa of Calcutta and recalled Pope John Paul II's wonderful letter on women, Mulieris Dignitatem (I would highly recommend it!) So, from the Vatican -- hats off to all the ladies. Hope you all enjoyed your day and rejoice in the great gift of femininity!

Following the Rules

Today after Mass, I ran into some friends of mine who have three beautiful little children, two boys and a precious little girl. One of the little boys was happily showing off to me his shark tooth necklace that he got on a recent trip to the beach, telling me that he could definitely wrestle the shark for his tooth, even though this time he did not. His little sister, however, who is about 2 or 3 years old, came up to me proudly (but shyly) showing off her little Sleeping Beauty doll. As she showed me Sleeping Beauty's pretty blue dress (and of course pointed out how she too, had a very similar blue dress on), she whispered to me "This is Sleeping Beauty. She is dancing, and she is waiting for her prince.' Ha. I thought to myself -- she is already in trouble!! Even that young! Oh, aren't we all just 'waiting for our prince'!!!

The morning conversation made me think of Julian's latest post on dating , which left me cracking up!! How many times have we women thought that same thing on date one?? We just want to cut to the chase, are you my prince, my one and only, the husband who leave my life with that perfect, wedded bliss? Oh, if only it were that easy! How many times have you found yourself out on a date with a man, who is perfectly nice, but you are imagining what your name will sound like with his last name? Or maybe you might go so far as to imagine how he would propose to you? Or maybe you are wondering how many children he wants?? Yes, women are really crazy, but we all do it, and we all need to STOP ourselves from doing this. When we imagine these kinds of things, I think a few very bad things happen. Let me list them. A. We rob ourselves of getting to know a perfectly good human being (and probably any potential future). B. We delude ourselves with ideals and lofty notions of perfection and bliss, often setting ourselves up for failures and disappointments. C. We send the poor guy running, cause if the wheels are turning, he's sure to suspect it!

How do we stop this crazy--practically instinctual--imagination from running away on us??? A friend of mine's mother recommended this book to me called 'The Rules.' Some of it is pretty silly, but some of it is totally true (in fact most of it!) It tells women essentially to be hard to get! Let the man do the work, be yourself, and let him pursue you. Men need to feel like they have earned the woman they love; and above all, they do not want to be pursued. One rule stuck out in my mind: it was the rule telling women NOT to imagine yourself married after date one, two, three, four, five, etc! Don't imagine your marriage! Spending time imagining scenarios that may or may not happen obscures the reality of the relationship, which could very well be a bad one. Here's a preview to the book. I recommend it (though it could stand to be supplemented for women with a faith oriented view on dating).

I think what's important to remember is this: for those of us who are called to marriage (and even for those who are not)-- we do seek to be loved, appreciated for who we are. But above all as women we want to return that love, we want to nurture human lives, and give comfort to those around us. Those are good desires to have! But with dating, it's a fine line between discerning whether a man might be a good husband for you, and imagining a life that in all reality probably cannot exist with any man. The best thing to do is to sit back, let him come to you -- and if he doesn't, his loss and move on! Mr. Right is not the perfect human being (and neither is the Mrs. Right we aspire to be), but he will be perfect for you!

A Lenten Tool

Just thought I'd share this site with you all. The Vatican is offering a Lenten site where you can find prayers, hymns, calendars and more. I am listening to some of the hymns right now. Gorgeous!

Are You My Husband?

Dating.  Let's face it.  It can be very awkward.  It can be fun and wonderful, but in the beginning, it's awkward.  

1) You meet someone that you might not know very well (or possibly someone who was a friend and is now potentially more), and you pick a setting to get to know one another.  The setting can dictate the conversation or it can stifle it.  If it's an enjoyable outing then you make plans to meet again, in a new type of setting hoping to learn more about the other person. (Although, sometimes you might give the guy a second date just to make sure that the first really was as bad as you thought!)   

2) Young professionals need to schedule these meetings around their work and social agendas, and so they are not spontaneous and rarely follow the whims and movements of anyone's affections. College provided the opportunity to bump into each other in the library or in the dining hall and to go for midnight walks or sit on the sidelines of a soccer game together.  

3) If you are like me, by the mid-twenties the temptation to solely consider dating as a browsing through the possibilities of a potential husband while having an attitude of "let's get these initial dates out of the way and skip to the relationship part" is all-consuming.  I call it the "Are you my husband?" syndrome, because it reminds me of Dr. Suess' story of a little bird who is looking for his mother and stops to ask various animals if they are indeed who he is looking for.  

This Dr. Suess Syndrome is really the only thing that I feel I can change to make the process less awkward.  Though I know that a basic human instinct is to find a mate, it's easy to get lost in the present when I'm essentially sizing up each man that I go out with from the get-go to be my husband.  A wise colleague advised me to enjoy the other's company, to stay in the present moment, and to really connect on a human level and get to know each individual man.  

Although the little bird in the story eventually finds his mother (how nice for us if life was tidied up so neatly!), I do not know how my own story will end or how my single vocation will deepen or be changed into a married one.  I think it would have been hard to sit the bird down and say, "Just enjoy the journey of finding your mother...it's all about the ride." But the single life really isn't about the frantic search for a husband.  It is a vocation rooted in the present moment, in the gray, and although it can be filled with awkward first date stories and unfortunate conversations over dinner, it's okay for now that the plot line is uncertain.  

Playlist

"The Guy That Says Goodbye To You Is Out Of His Mind"
by Griffin House

great lyrics:
You don't need to change
A thing about you babe
I'm telling you from where I sit
You're one of a kind
...
But the guy that says goodbye to you
is out of his mind

UBER PRAYERS

For Edith today, as she takes her comps:

Creator of all things,
true source of light and wisdom,
origin of all being,
graciously let a ray of your light penetrate
the darkness of my understanding.

Take from me the double darkness
in which I have been born,
an obscurity of sin and ignorance.

Give me a keen understanding,
a retentive memory, and
the ability to grasp things
correctly and fundamentally.

Grant me the talent
of being exact in my explanations
and the ability to express myself
with thoroughness and charm.

Point out the beginning,
direct the progress,
and help in the completion.

I ask this through Christ our Lord.
Amen.

(Prayer for Students by St. Thomas Aquinas)

A Lenten Rose

Last night, waiting for the metro, a frail, young homeless man walked up to me, hand extended offering me a little red rose. I said "no thank you" but he insisted, and finally I took it.

"Do you know what it is?"
"A rose?" (It was tiny, delicate and beautiful: more like a desert rose, with very few petals and deep red tips.)

"Yes! It's a Lenten rose." he replied, and then asked if I had a dollar to spare. Wishing I had a candy bar or power bar stuffed in my purse, I stammered, and before I could even get out an excuse he turned away and walked on down the platform, digging into his paper bag, presumably for another rose.

I closed my eyes, second guessing myself, frustrated with being a woman, and therefore vunerable, and gaurded at the same time (I find dealing with the homeless the most difficult test for feminine virtue). I prayed a quick Hail Mary for him, and went back to my magazine.

When I looked back up the platform, there was no sight of him. But there were several young women, beaming, as they gazed at and smelled their Lenten roses.

Mary, Our Mother, Pray for Us

This was a discovery I stumbled upon while studying. When I saw it, I knew I had to share it with my sisters in Christ. I hope that it will be a tool in helping all of us to seek after Christ.

Image of the Blessed Virgin obtained from here.

Catholic Feminism Revisited

I'd like to share some more thoughts about being a Catholic feminist. Edith's post got me thinking, and I wanted to get my critical wheels turning to work out some things in my head. Like Edith, I question some women's motivation to define themselves as feminine precisely against what has been the traditional understanding for thousands of years. I think we should search to understand the good they are seeking: some of these traditional values have been used for the subjugation of women in absolutely despicable ways. (N.B. It's helpful to think of subjugation not only in the American sense but in the sense of barbaric treatment of women in other countries that is often unspeakable). However, when something traditional is written off, I think it's best for that group to critically examine what they are opposed to and not to write off the whole thing. After all, in my understanding, tradition is something (a belief or practice) which is passed along throughout generations because it touches on something real or true, even if it looks different in different eras.

I think it would be helpful for strong women of faith (and by strong I mean opinionated, engaged in the world, and fully alive) to understand the four waves of feminism, because we should not dismiss those who are defining themselves against our traditions because of our frustration with them; we should seek to understand so as to dialogue. Perhaps others' insights might help strength our own, either by strengthening our convictions or helping us to define our Catholic femininity more sharply.

First wave: Some of my favorite suffragettes (cue David Bowie, "Suffragette City") begin the movement. Our American foremothers spoke up for our ability to own property, to be considered equal in dignity before the law, and to protect ourselves in bad marriages. With the exception of Margaret Sanger's promotion of Planned Parenthood, I think we can say this wave supports Christ's demonstration of women's dignity and purpose, no? As a side note, not one of the first wave ladies supported abortion; they thought it was an affront to women's dignity.

Second wave: In general, this movement focused on ending discrimination against women in society and in the political sphere. Sounds fine to me! I do not pretend to understand the sociology of "sexist power struggles," but it seems to me that we have been granted so much more freedom because of this positive part of the second movement.

Third wave: And it's here that I start to shutter. Though there is an internal discrepancy about what this movement consists of, in general it seeks to challenge previous generations' definitions and concepts of womanhood. It seeks to explain and explore gender as a consequence of social conditioning and tries to redefine femininity in new ways. In many ways, they are a reacting to the first and second movements or are claiming they didn't go far enough or in the right direction. The question is, how do we speak with this group about gender as something with a real essence (this is me going metaphysical on you), something grounded in being, something in nature but also with a supernatural purpose? It is here that Catholic women have to tread carefully, to acknowledge sociological phenomena and their influence on our lives, but also to tap into sociology being part of the natural law and the precept to live in community (and how living in community touches on something both natural and supernatural). This is where we need to get our hands dirty and dialogue.

Fourth wave: Post-feminism. Some people say we're here; some people say we aren't (it's just the same stupid, silly debate in the academy that is not going away anytime soon). My scholarly Wikipedia source for you (ha!) cites Carrie Bradshaw and Bridget Jones as examples of post-feminists. Two professional women, engaged in the world and in pop culture, enjoying their "sexual liberation," but ultimately seeking that traditional end of a boyfriend or a spouse with whom they will share a life and support one another.

Aside from the twisted understanding of true sexual liberation, I can kind of see myself in a Carrie or a Bridget. What a privilege it is to be single. Everyday is mine. Not mine to do exactly as I please; instead to sanctify my work, to serve those in the workplace, to be social with friends and to enjoy people and places and things. I am able to pursue the things that I am passionate about: to get a graduate degree, to teach in a prestigious school and work with the demographic that I am called to, to enjoy fashion (cheap chic!), and to feel satisfaction in supporting myself financially, etc. And at the same time, my single life is fully feminine. I feel so blessed to try to sanctify the world by being immersed in it and by taking advantage of all of the opportunities that I have to engage the world that were given to me by strong, beautiful women in the past.

God Bless America and God Bless Women!

Down in the Dumps

I need to vent so badly, and I don't want to leave my classroom to talk to anyone at school. It's so hard to confide in anyone here (besides Jesus of course in the chapel), because in a school of 500 women, no one can keep anything in confidence.

I've been so down lately, despite the countless blessings that are showered upon me. It's only the third day of Lent, and I'm already turning in to face myself and am failing to look out on Jesus who I promised to see and touch in those around me.

Today I side-swiped my car (poor Agatha was in the passenger's seat). It was a ridiculous thing to do, and I cannot stop beating myself up about it. I don't know how I'm going to pay for it.

Which brings up another point: I am not able to save in the city that I live in between my modest salary as a teacher and the expenses that this city demands (rent alone). I am wondering whether or not staying here is the best option for me.

Which brings me to another point: Why is there so much instability in the twenties? Why can't I find some firm foundation? I feel as if I am continually walking up the down escalator, trying to get to a destination but without any success. I can't see the road ahead of me, and even if I can, I'm not walking it with joy.

Which brings me to my final point: I cannot remain in the present moment. I cannot walk the road of uncertainty very well. I am impatient. But even when things go my way, I try to talk myself out of deserving them or pursuing them. I am always fearful of losing something or someone, and so I try to sabotage something good immediately (this especially is manifesting itself in the fact that I've been on two dates with a really nice guy but want to stop pursuing it, because I can't even enjoy or believe that someone wants to spend time with a nutcase like me, who can't even recognize the blessings around her).

Please say a prayer for me. I am extremely anxious and sad, and my students are testing my patience and my dedication to my vocation. I am so very much looking forward to spring, and working my way through the purgation of Lent.

I pray for all of you.

Online Dating's Meat Market

In her recent Washington Post column, Miss Manners answered a question about Online Dating Etiquette:

Dear Miss Manners: Do you have any "rules" for online dating that pertain to determining the person's character and integrity before continuing the relationship? …What is the real deal anymore? So many men seem to be just looking to hook up.

Gentle Reader: So Miss Manners has been told for the last millennium or two. Hardly something she can be expected to reverse with a few pithy words.

Let us therefore address only the aspects of the situation that relate to Internet dating. While undeniably making it easier to meet great numbers of people looking for romance, it has, as you say, made an always risky venture even scarier.

Before this method, people met through other people, whom they both knew.

No, wait. Miss Manners has skipped an era, possibly because she prefers to forget. Before the Internet, determined people were meeting in singles bars. And complaining that these were, as they so elegantly put it, "meat markets." What they meant was that an awful lot of people were there looking for something a bit quicker (and more quickly over) than romance.

And sadly, there were some ladies who misunderstood the concept of the one-night stand, believing that the traditional timeline could be reversed and that courtship would follow.

Meeting through introductions from those who knew both people never precluded such unfortunate misconnections. But it does offer certain protections.

One is reputation. The go-between, knowing something of each person's character and history, is able to vouch for them -- and, if wrong, to damage the reputation of anyone who behaved badly. The online equivalent requires accepting the testimony of people who are equally unknown, and being able to warn only other prospects, without reaching the offender's own circle.

The other protection is deniability. People who frankly declare themselves to be looking for romance are bound to encounter different interpretations of what may loosely be termed romance. But those who meet socially need not seem ridiculously -- if not fraudulently -- coy if they make up their minds about prospects slowly under the guise of mere acquaintanceship. They may plausibly become indignant at crude advances. As a bonus, they lack the paradoxically unattractive aspect of someone who is "looking."
Miss Manners is well aware that all this is little help to those who feel that long work hours and a demise in strictly social entertaining have given them no choice but to turn to strangers. She offers it only with the slim hope that it will encourage everyone to develop and cherish circles in which romance will flourish naturally, as it always has.

I just love her answer for so many reasons. She doesn’t moralize—that’s not her place—but she does talk about cultivating a culture of respect interest and genuine romance.

I’ve never done online dating—though I know of several very happy online-dating marriages. Still, I would never consider it, because it seems to me to be as much a meat-market (if not more) as a bar scene, or other similarly disgusting and objectifying experience. But the cultivation of Romance through friendship seems to me to be the best and (let’s be honest) safest way.


While I’m at it: there was a fascinating article in December in the New York Times about the end of dating:

It turns out that everything is the opposite of what I remember. Under the old model, you dated a few times and, if you really liked the person, you might consider having sex. Under the new model, you hook up a few times and, if you really like the person, you might consider going on a date.

I asked her to explain the pros and cons of this strange culture. According to her, the pros are that hooking up emphasizes group friendships over the one-pair model of dating, and, therefore, removes the negative stigma from those who can’t get a date. As she put it, “It used to be that if you couldn’t get a date, you were a loser.” Now, she said, you just hang out with your friends and hope that something happens.
he cons center on the issues of gender inequity. Girls get tired of hooking up because they want it to lead to a relationship (the guys don’t), and, as they get older, they start to realize that it’s not a good way to find a spouse. Also, there’s an increased likelihood of sexual assaults because hooking up is often fueled by alcohol.

That’s not good. So why is there an increase in hooking up? According to Professor Bogle, it’s: the collapse of advanced planning, lopsided gender ratios on campus, delaying marriage, relaxing values and sheer momentum.

It used to be that “you were trained your whole life to date,” said Ms. Bogle. “Now we’ve lost that ability — the ability to just ask someone out and get to know them.”

Now that’s sad.

Thoughts?

On the Virtue of Temperance

I've been on a 'virtue' kick lately -- probably as a result of immersing myself in the ancient political philosophy of Plato and Aristotle these past few months. I thought I'd meditate on the virtue of temperance today, especially since we all had to practice it on Ash Wednesday as we observed the fast (and I don't know about you all, but I certainly struggle with it!!) After all, temperance is the moral virtue that keeps our desire for the bodily goods in check. How easy it is to indulge in good things, to rejoice in the goodness of the created world that God has given to us.

According to St. Thomas Aquinas in his Summa Theologica, we naturally desire those things that are good for us and seem good to us. So why do we need temperance? Well, I'd like to consider this question by using a meditation on Christ's temptation in the desert by Father Thomas Rosica.

As you know, before Christ began his public ministry, he was tempted by Satan in the desert -- tempted to change stones into bread to satisfy his hunger, tempted to worship the evil one in exchange for power, and tempted to prove the Father's love for Him by casting Himself off the side of a mountain to see if God will send His angels to save Him. Each one of these temptations Christ overcomes through His faithfulness. So, what does this have to do with temperance??

Well, temperance is that moral virtue which gets us to curb our appetites. Now that's easy, we curb our appetites for food, drink, sex, etc. But consider the ways in which our appetites get in the way of our spiritual life. Consider how our spiritual lives can suffer if we are too busy inundating our lives with material things. Father Rosica writes:

"When and how do I find moments of contemplation in the midst of a busy life? How have I lived in the midst of my own deserts? Have I been courageous and persistent in fighting with the demons? How have I resisted transforming my own deserts into places of abundant life? "

Isn't that part of the purpose of temperance? That is, to turn those desert moments of our lives into an opportunity for grace, to allow God to give us His life more abundantly? Temperance disciplines us to put material goods in their proper place. And isn't so easy for women to get hung up on material goods? We love to decorate, shop, look fabulous, and give our surroundings that 'woman's touch.' And that's what I love about being a woman, but it so easily can dominate our lives and turn us away from God. Consider what Father Rosica says about the first temptation of Christ:

In the first temptation in the desert, Jesus responds to the evil one, not by denying human dependence on sustenance (food), but rather by putting human life and the human journey in perspective. Those who follow Jesus cannot become dependent on the things of this world. When we are so dependent on material things, and not on God, we give in to temptation and sin.

Temperance teaches us not to be dependent on material things and trains our minds and hearts to turn to God. Through it we realize as Father Rosica says, "that we must have some spiritual space in our lives where we can strip away the false things that cling to us and breathe new life into our dreams and begin again." That's what practicing temperance is all about, and that's what Lent allows us to do. Temperance prepares us to depend on God for our all, even in those moments we are tempted to despair. For in the midst of the desert, Father Rosica writes, we can "open our hearts to Him and allow Him to make our own deserts bloom."

The Reality of Sin

Here’s a great piece by the Colleen Campbell, author of The New Faithful: Why Young Adults Are Embracing Christian Orthodoxy and Fellow at EPPC:

G. K. Chesterton once quipped that the doctrine of original sin "is the only part of Christian theology which really can be proved" because even the most confirmed skeptic "can see it in the street."

Obvious as the reality of sin may be on our streets today, many American Catholics have heard precious little about this politically incorrect topic in recent decades. Although intense interest in indulgences is not a trend I have observed among young Catholics I profiled in my book or most Catholics of any age, I do see a connection between the renewed emphasis on indulgences and a growing hunger among Catholics for deeper understanding of the mysteries of sin, grace and repentance.
…There is a sense among these young Catholics, and among those older Catholics who return to a more intentional practice of their faith, that the do-it-yourself, take-it-easy spirituality so popular today is a dead end. They believe in the reality of sin and they want salvation.

These "reverts," as they often call themselves, also want the Church. The distinctiveness of Catholic doctrine and devotions does not repel them; it attracts them. For individualistic Americans accustomed to hearing that salvation is a private matter with nothing in particular to do with the larger Body of Christ, the idea that one believer's acts of devotion, penance and alms-giving could alleviate the suffering of another believer awaiting full union with God in the afterlife is radical, even if it is centuries old. And the requirement that comes with any plenary indulgence -- of "complete detachment" from even small sins -- is a bracing reminder that the journey toward intimacy with God entails profound personal transformation, not merely the rattling off of the right prayers.

(not) Angry

Today I nearly broke down and quit my job. My boss put me in the middle of a terrible situation, had no apologies for it, and it was all his fault in the first place. Then, when we were done talking about it, he said "how are you?"--I nearly exploded. Instead, I ended the conversation as quickly as possible, and hung up.

As soon as I hung up, I shouted the most vulgar word I knew, and then looked up and realized I was in front of a Church.

Edith's post about reserving judgement is so important and inspiring. For my part, in dealing with this terrible job, I have been so caught up in anger and bitterness. Instead of seeing it as a chance to grow in grace, I've indulged in my "justified" anger. It's true, I'm getting better at executing the job, and I'm always offering it up, which helps some, but I am not getting better at bearing with it.

My prayer for lent is that I find a new job. My goal in lent is to let Christ calm that anger, at least a little bit.

What Are You Giving Up for Lent??

That's the question we were always asked by our peers in our Catholic grade school growing up. But what does it mean to deny ourselves something for Lent? I do the same types of things -- give up chocolate (I am a legitimate chocoholic), give up sweets, abstain from all those good foods that I love, etc. And fasting from good food is certainly something that we should do, but sometimes crucifying the flesh does not always benefit spiritually if we don't have the right orientation. So this year, I've decided to do something more for the Lord. I am crucifying my spirit and letting Christ root out those little vices I have within me.

Recently, I've been struggling with being judgmental toward others. Little thoughts about people, just things that are kind of mean. It's so easy to judge, to think less of a person to make yourself feel better about your own vices. But I just watched the Youtube clip of Danielle Rose that Julian just posted below. Wow!! What an inspirational woman!!! What a tremendous understanding of the Eucharist and the meaning of God's sacrifice! Christ did not die so I could sit here and justify my own faults by thinking poorly of others. He died and left us the Eucharist -- Himself -- so I could be united to all souls in HIM, so that He could give me new life and make me a new creation. And if He does it for me, He does it for all. How we could hold any bitterness toward each other knowing what Christ does for us?

This Lent, let's give up resentment toward each other. Let us work to right our wrongs and let Christ enter His light into our life in a more powerful, lasting way. Let us remember how to love again, in the most full sense of the meaning of love. I resolve to meditate on the meaning of the Holy Cross and to let the most beautiful words of the Prophet Isaiah (43:25) penetrate my soul: "I am, I am he that blots out your iniquities for my own sake, and I will not remember your sins."

Preparing for Lent

As we prepare for Lent, I think it might be a good time to think about what it means to be women of Christ traveling with Him on the road to Calvary. I immediately think of the women of Jerusalem to whom Jesus says, "Do not weep for me; weep instead for yourselves and your children." (Lk 23:28). On Good Friday I cannot help but weep for my Lord. Yet His is right; the nails are also driven into his mystical body, to those who belong to Him and those souls for whom He is still yearning.

When we pray, fast, and give alms this Lent, let us as women notice where it is that we might wipe Jesus' face, clean His wounds, and give Him drink by serving those around us. Let us get one another to Paradise.

A quick note: I always find Danielle Rose's CD on the Mysteries of the Rosary so moving, especially during Lent; I like to listen to her meditations while praying the rosary (pending I have more than 15 minutes!) For more information on her, go here and here. Her Cd's (there are three I think) are all available on iTunes. Oh, and here is a beautiful clip of her on YouTube.

Blessings to all of my sisters and to our friends and readers.

On the Virtue of Courage

I just read a great news article on the Bishop of Scranton, PA, who has threatened to close down St. Patrick's day celebrations if any pro-abortion 'Catholic' political officials are honored at the celebrations. Awesome. Be sure to check out the story. How we need such courageous bishops, who are not moved by concern for human respect but instead unwaveringly stand up for the truth.

Anyway, it inspired me to reflect on the virtue of courage. Courage is typically considered a manly virtue, not one that we women should readily exhibit. But we know that's wrong. To that effect, if you get the chance -- I must recommend the recent German film Sophie Scholl: Die Letzen Tage (Sophie Scholl: The Last Days). Sophie Scholl was a student in Nazi Germany who, along with her brother Hans and several other students began the resistance movement the White Rose Society. They were murdered by guillotine by the Nazis on February 22, 1943. Tomorrow is the anniversary of their death... Wow, the film was so powerful and was based upon recently discovered interviews Sophie had with her Nazi interrogators. She was so brave, and I hope that she will inspire me with some of her courage to take up the fight for human dignity that she begun under the Nazis.

Anyway, on the virtue of courage. As you know, it is one of the seven gifts of the Holy Spirit conferred upon us at the Sacrament of Confirmation. The Catechism of the Catholic Church defines courage as "the moral virtue that ensures firmness in difficulties and constancy in the pursuit of the good. It strengthens the resolve to resist temptations and to overcome obstacles in the moral life." It is the virtue that enables us to conquer all fears, even the fear of death. Courage gives us the strength to heed our Lord's words and "pick up our Cross and follow Him."

Our church is full of some of the most fantastic women of courage! St. Edith Stein, St. Agatha, St. Cecelia, St. Agnes, Bl. Mother Teresa, and the list goes on and on. In some ways, I think feminine courage is even more beautiful than the masculine display of this virtue. Courageous women reveal Christ in a unique way to the world. It takes courage to trust in the Lord in all that we do. We must be brave, we must be willing to face so many obstacles when we seek to do God's will. But we do practice courage, we seek to do God's will because we love Him. And as St. Edith Stein, one of the most courageous women I know of, says, "No spiritual work comes into the world without great suffering. It always challenges the whole person".

Catholic Feminism--Biblically Considered

I thought I might post a little meditation on the subject of 'Catholic Feminism' brought by Julian a couple days ago. Of course, we have named this blog after two great Biblical women, Martha and Mary. But I want to consider a lesser-known (and unnamed) woman from the Scriptures. The synoptic Gospels tell of the healing of a woman -- St. Peter's mother in law. You can find the story in Mt. 8: 14-17; Mk 1: 29-34; Lk 4: 38-41. You should be familiar with the story. Jesus has begun his public ministry of healing, and he enters Peter's home to find his mother in law sick with fever. He touched her hand, and she was healed. She immediately rises and began to attend to their needs.

Now the typical radical feminist might be irate at this story. The first thing Peter's mother in law does is wait upon Peter and his friends when she is healed?? I mean, really, couldn't she just have a break -- shouldn't she have gotten something to eat first?? Shouldn't they have attended to her needs? There's a nagging little radical feminist tucked away somewhere thinking that, I promise you. Because (and you might find this incendiary), deep down inside radical feminism, I think there is an inordinate selfishness and lack of charity toward a sense of otherness. I know that's quite an accusatory judgment to make, but just consider that the icon and theme song of radical feminism today is the right to choose an abortion, and you might just catch what I am getting at.

But I think this story so spectacularly gives us an example of a Catholic feminist. What an honor it would be to wait upon the Lord, to attend to His needs, to serve Him and the men He personally chose to spread His Word to all nations!!!! (An aside: I think here of a song written by a Christian singer Brooke Fraser. She writes in a song called 'You'll Come' with these lyrics: "I have decided, I have resolved, to wait upon You, Lord. A Mighty Deliverer, our Triumph and Truth, I'll wait upon You, Lord." Though Brooke is not a Catholic -- she is with a large Evangelical church in Sydney, Australia called Hillsong -- her music is full of amazingly Biblical and Catholic themes. I'd recommend her song "Lead Me to the Cross" -- it's one of my favorites!) I would JUMP at the opportunity to wait upon Christ. And what better way to show one's gratitude for healing and love for Christ than to serve His every human need. How lucky His mother was to be able to nurture him as a child, to nurse the King of kings and Lord of lords. Sometimes, I feel more affinity with Martha than with Mary. Making guests comfortable, being conscientious of their needs, and attending to them makes me happy.

And isn't that part of embracing our feminine spirituality? Attending to others, serving them, making them happy - deep down, don't we all spiritually desire that? Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't think so. To deny women the fulfillment of their greatest spiritual desire destroys the root of who they are. I think that a critical element to an authentic feminism is the recognition that women are by nature 'other' oriented, and to attend to the needs of others fulfills them. So, I guess the question we will need to ask ourselves -- How, as Catholic women do we contribute to this understanding of an other-oriented female spiritually? How can we articulate it to other women, to encourage them to take action in a world that very often has denied them this fulfillment? How do we show women, as Julian so eloquently put it that "Christ - in fact expands the meaning of our womanhood beyond what it is in the natural realm?"

(don't) Leave Us!

There's a beautiful post by Amy Welborn that deals with the spiritual difficulties dealing with the sudden passing away of her husband:

My favorite story from Jesus’ life, one that I have relied on and been nourished by for a decade, rather intensely. The Gerasene demoniac.

You know the story. The man is possessed and lives among the tombs. He is as if dead. A legion dwells within. Jesus drives the demons out. The villagers come and see the man, clean and healed.

They turn to Jesus, and what is their response? Thank you? Do for us what you did for him? Heal us? Help us? Drive out our demons, less in number and quieter, but demons still? Make us whole, as he is?

No.

“Leave us.”

The reason that has resonated with me so much over the years is that I think it characterizes so much about the spiritual journey. Mine at least. Grace surrounds us. The witness of good, holy people surround us - joyful. The fruit of love is as clear as day, the spoiled fruit of selfishness and indulgence is also as clear as day. The power of Jesus is right here. He waits, in love.

And we say, more often than not, fearful of the changes, fearful of what will be lost, “Leave us.”

In a rush, the connections came, it knit together more quickly than I could process. Immediately. God Alone. Leave Us.

There are stages, there are layers, there are bridges. There is a void, my best friend in the world is just - gone. But in this moment I am confronted with the question, most brutally asked, of whether I really do believe all that I say I believe. Into this time of strange, awful loss, Jesus stepped in. He wasted no time. He came immediately. His presence was real and vivid and in him the present and future, bound in love, moved close.

And Amanda Shaw, at FT, has some lovely thoughts about this as well:

I am reminded of Fr. Neuhaus’ story from As I Lay Dying, in which Father describes one of his early encounters with death. The man’s name was Albert, and, as the two of them prayed the Our Father together on a hot summer evening, he suddenly widened his eyes, looked intently at the pastor by his side, and said, “Don’t be afraid.” And that was it.

It is a wondrous thing when those who are suffering teach us how to rejoice, when those who are dying teach us how to live.

Catholic Feminism

What a title, right?  Can these two words be placed next to one another? 

For a long time I have considered myself a Catholic feminist.  Yet many feminist circles would tell me that I cannot be one as I am a Catholic, and many Catholics have told me that feminism is opposed to our faith.  I disagree with both sides, as I really do believe that I value and care about the flourishing of women in society, which I believe is ultimately explained to us in Christ - in fact he expands the meaning of our womanhood beyond what it is in the natural realm.  

Anyway, this is the beginning of food for thought.  Please, please comment, and I'll be bringing this up later.  We can talk about JPII's writing, but I'd be really interested in original thoughts and writings of other figures.  Let's get going, women! 

On another note, Papa B kicks some a** 

Sorry, I swear sometimes.  

Thoughts for the Godmother

I was at the baptism where Julian became a Godmother, and I have to admit, I was praying more for her than for little E.

A few years ago I attended another baptism, and afterward the baby, Peter fell asleep in my arms. His mother took him from me after he woke up (he was so small it didn't bother me at all and I held him for over an hour), and she looked at me with wide eyes and said: "Isn't that exciting? A saint fell asleep in your arms! I am always amazed by that!"

The gospel reading at the baptism, which was administered by a jolly deacon in the local parish, was (fittingly) from Mark's Gospel:

And people were bringing children to him that he might touch them, but the disciples rebuked them. When Jesus saw this he became indignant and said to them, "Let the children come to me; do not prevent them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. Amen, I say to you, whoever does not accept the kingdom of God like a child will not enter it." Then he embraced them and blessed them, placing his hands on them. (Mark 10:13-16)

Julian's goddaughter is a living saint now, too--beautiful, sinless, and full of grace. May her innocence witness to us, and teach us to be like a child in the lap of our Heavenly Father.

In the rite of baptism we pray for the Godparents:

--Make the lives of his (her) parents and godparents examples of faith to inspire this child. Lord hear us.
--Keep his (her) family always in your love. Lord hear us.
--Renew the grace of our baptism in each one of us. Lord hear us.

Renew that grace in us, Lord! Renew it in her parents and god-parents most of all!

(Painting: Suffer the Little Children to Come Unto Meby Lucas Cranach the Elder)

Always a Godmother, never a God

Yesterday I had the honor of witnessing my first godchild's baptism. E was so precious and beautiful in her gown. I think the most poignant moments were when the deacon blessed her with her mother and then her father. Shortly after, he brought the baby to the Blessed Mother and then to the crucifix while he prayed with her. I was tearing up at the thought of this little one entering into Christ's life and being protected by a mother, father, and savior in heaven.

As I held little E at the party afterwards (it's always a good, Catholic party when there is plenty of food and drink!), I thought of how blessed I was to be a "spiritual" mother to her: to pray for her many times throughout the day, to offer up my actions for her, to give her over to the care of the Virgin Mary and to the sacred heart of Jesus. I'm going to pray that God inspires me in many ways to nuture little E in the unique role that I have been given.

The baptism was also importat for my faith life. For years now I have been in a spiritual "dry spell." In fact, when the book about Mother Teresa's "dark night" came out, I instantly related to her. After about 6 years of theological and philosophical study, God became an object to me, and I still find it harder and harder to have a personal relationship with the Trinity and Our Mother. And so my prayers have become mechanical, and I think that my life becomes my own. I take control of it (or so I think) and try to "play God." I want to manage my vocation to marriage, control my classroom, and orchestrate my relationships. (Of course I am getting spiritual direction, so no fear! Keep praying for me to daily renew my life with Christ, because those of you who are praying for me should know it's working!). This is, of course, an illusion and a falsehood, and yesterday helped me to see more clearly God's hand at work in my life.

When the deacon was asking me to renew my baptismal vows, he wrapped up by saying, "This is our faith; this is the faith of the Church." I remembered how simple the tenets of our faith are, and more importantly, how simple God is. Seeing E, so small and innocent, reminded me to "put on" such a simple, uncomplicated attitude like Christ's and to work on this during Lent. God is simple. And as Jesus insisted, we only need to look at the face of a child to know this.

Agatha's super-duper cure for Valentine’s day blues

So you don’t have a significant other, but to be cynical and “down-with-love” isn’t your style on a holiday—so you don’t want to get together with the girlfriends for a bitchfest. What shall you do with yourselves?

I propose you have dinner with some of your good married friends. I’ll bet many of them aren’t doing anything terribly special on this day of love—and there’s nothing better than hanging out on the feast day of the patron of marriage that hanging out with those who really witness to a good happy and healthy marriage themselves.

Maybe I’m strange, but I love hanging out with my married friends. I am lucky enough to have one of the couples I adore staying with my on valentine’s day—so I’m making a nice festive dinner (complete with a chocolate wine sauce for the beef), but not going over the top.

And, since we’re catholic: let’s not forget that tomorrow is also the Feast of Sts. Cyril and Methodious—who are awesome. So there are lots of reasons to celebrate. Don’t be lonely, and blue. Have fun. Wear Red. Celebrate love!

Saving Money!

I just had to share this with you all! I was watching the news this morning and there was a story on these women who pretty much have coupon clipping down to an art. They have strategies on layering coupons with sales, rebates, etc. They even got $370 worth of groceries FREE with a $6.00 back rebate just by using these strategies! Seems unbelievable, but it's true. They offer 'coupon parties' and have a website with their blog and coupon printouts called becentsable.net Whether you are married or single -- you can always save money! And less money on groceries means more money for shoes :-)

Movie Review

Single ladies: go see He's Just Not That Into You!  It was kind of predictable, but wonderful nonetheless.  I adore Ginnifer Goodwin; what a lovely new "American sweetheart."  I think some of the points were dead-on about trying to read a guy (or a woman), the awkward process of dating (in the sense of going out on a date), and figuring out this love stuff.  Anyway, I highly recommend it and hope you all enjoy it as much as I did! 

Forgive and Forget

I have a colleague at work making it nearly impossible to be a Christian.  She really has it out for me for numerous reasons, primarily because I abide by the teachings of the Church (and she has made it clear to me that this is problematic for her).  But she has begun to slander my name, and today I had a complete meltdown and then was filled with anger.  I trust that I have done nothing wrong to her and that she is picking on me as she is very aggressive, but I'm having so much trouble forgiving her time and time again.  I know I will forgive her, but I don't know how to forget.  Where does the forgetting come in? Is that just a contemporary phrase or did Jesus say to forget??? 

Thanks for your prayers.   

On the Feast of St. Scholastica

Today is the feast day of a great female saint, St. Scholastica, who is the twin sister of St. Benedict, the founder of the Benedictine rule. She lived near her brother who was in Monte Cassino, Italy. They met only once a year, and there is a famous story of their last meeting:

Scholastica having passed the day as usual in singing psalms and pious discourse, they sat down in the evening to take their refection. After it was over, Scholastica, perhaps foreknowing it would be their last interview in this world, or at least desirous of some further spiritual improvement, was very urgent with her brother to delay his return till the next day, that they might entertain themselves till morning upon the happiness of the other life. St. Benedict, unwilling to transgress his rule, told her he could not pass a night out of his monastery, so desired her not to insist upon such a breach of monastic discipline. Scholastica finding him resolved on going home, laying her hands joined upon the table, and her head upon them, with many tears, begged of Almighty God to interpose in her behalf. Her prayer was scarce ended when there happened such a storm of rain, thunder, and lightning, that neither St. Benedict nor any of his companions could set a foot out of doors. He complained to his sister, saying, "God forgive you, sister; what have you done?" She answered, "I asked you a favour, and you refused it me; I asked it of Almighty God, and he has granted it me."

She died in 543 and is known as an intercessor for nuns, children, and bad weather.

Quote of the Day

First came bright Spirits, not the Spirits of men, who danced and scattered flowers--soundlessly falling, lightly drifting flowers, though by the standards of the ghost-world each petal would have weighed a hundred-weight and their fall would have been like the crashing of boulders. Then, on the left and right, at each side of the forest avenue, came youthful shapes, boys upon one hand, and girls upon the other. If I could remember their singing and write down the notes, no man who read that score would ever grow sick or old. Between them went musicians: and after these a lady in whose honour all this was being done.

I cannot now remember whether she was naked or clothed. If she was naked, then it must have been the almost visible penumbra of her courtesy and joy which produces in my memory the illusion of a great and shining train that followed her across the happy grass. If she were clothed, then the illusion of nakedness is doubtless due to the clarity with which her innermost spirit shone through her clothes. For clothes in that country are not a disguise: the spiritual body lives along each thread and turns them into living organs. A robe or a crown is there as much one of the wearer's features as a lip or an eye.

But I have forgotten. And only partly do I remember the unbearable beauty of her face.

‘Is it?... is it?’ I whispered to my guide.

‘Not at all,’ he said. ‘It’s someone ye’ll never have heard of. Her name on Earth was Sarah Smith and she lived at Golders Green.’

‘She seems to be... well, a person of particular importance?’

‘Aye. She is one of the great ones. Ye have heard that fame in this country and fame on Earth are two quite different things.’

‘And who are these gigantic people… look! They’re like emeralds.. who are dancing and throwing flowers before her?’

‘Haven’t ye read your Milton? A thousand liveried angels lackey her.’

‘And who are all these young men and women on each side?’

‘They are her sons and daughters.’

‘She must have had a very large family, Sir.’

‘Every young man or boy that met her became her son – even if it was only the boy that brought the meat to her back door. Every girl that met her was her daughter.’

‘Isn’t that a bit hard on their own parents?’

‘No. There are those that steal other people’s children. But her motherhood was of a different kind. Those on whom it fell went back to their natural parents loving them more. Few men looked on her without becoming, in a certain fashion, her lovers. But it was the kind of love that made them not less true, but truer, to their own wives.’

--C.S.Lewis, The Great Divorce

Those Lazy, Hazy, Crazy Days of ...Winter?

The female brain. Mine goes about two miles a minute, and it's powered by guilt. Does anyone else suffer from this complex? I was out with two friends last night for dinner and a movie, and all I kept thinking about was the long checklist in my head of things that I need to get accomplished for work and at my apartment this weekend. My head was SPINNING. I hate the fact that I can hardly ever be present with people, or with myself. I dreaded waking up today because of the amount of things that I need to do, and the fact that I have to squeeze them in between two other weekend outings.

Whoah, Julian!

You have been blessed with THREE opportunities to see friends this weekend and to kick back and take your mind off of work.

(Back to the first person...) I don't know why this happens everyday. Why do I spend my life rushing around from one task to the next? Why is down time so hard for me? Why do I feel so guilty when I haven't accomplished each task with 100% effort behind it?

No wonder I'm having a spiritual dry spell these days. I can't even slow myself down to enjoy friends without guilt, let alone to sit and say hello to God. I could use suggestions for creating some white noise in my head and in my heart...

St. Agatha

Since today is the feast of St. Agatha, my patron, I thought I'd share with you all a little bit about her life, and about why I picked her as my patron on this blog. It's a little difficult for me--I picked her for very intangible reasons--but what is this blog for if not for soul searching and sharing?

Agatha--the names is Greek for "Virtuous" or "Good"--is one of the great Virgin Martyrs, and shortly after her death there arose a great cult honoring her saintliness and virtue. As the Catholic Encyclopedia notes, there is no turly verified account of here death, but the story goes that:

Agatha, daughter of a distinguished family and remarkable for her beauty of person, was persecuted by the Senator Quintianus with avowals of love. As his proposals were resolutely spurned by the pious Christian virgin, he committed her to the charge of an evil woman, whose seductive arts, however, were baffled by Agatha's unswerving firmness in the Christian faith. Quintianus then had her subjected to various cruel tortures. Especially inhuman seemed his order to have her breasts cut off, a detail which furnished to the Christian medieval iconography the peculiar characteristic of Agatha. But the holy virgin was consoled by a vision of St. Peter, who miraculously healed her.

Eventually, after repeated torture and assault, she died.

I first heard the story of St. Agatha as almost a joke--in iconography she is almost always represented with a plate on which stand her breasts. In the Medival church they were often misinterpreted--and she became the patroness of Bell Ringers. In Sicily they celebrate their great saint with little minni di Sant'Aita, which are breast shapped cupcakes. (Some think this incredibly vulgar. I think it's awesome...and weird...anyway, they've been doing it for a long time.)

Anyway, in Christ's resurrected body, the wounds were glorified, right? So why not celebrate her own wounds of martyrdom. As a matter of fact, as soon as I stopped laughing, this is what made me love her most. Because in living the life of a Virgin, one needs to give up everything for Christ. In the office of readings for today, St. Methodius of Sicily says:

A true virgin, she wore the glow of pure conscience and the crimson of the Lamb’s blood for her cosmetics. Again and again she meditated on the death of her eager lover. For her, Christ’s death was recent, his blood was still moist. Her robe is the mark of her faithful witness to Christ. It bears the indelible marks of his crimson blood and the shining threads of her eloquence. She offers to all who come after her these treasures of her eloquent confession.

If one is called to the single life--which, if not forever, I certainly am called to right now--then I must be dedicated to Christ body and soul. So the single girl must practice modesty of dress and manners for the sake of Christ.

Still, I am a woman, and modesty does not mean denying those things that make me a woman. At my alma mater there were a group of girls planning to enter the religious life, and so they dressed in long skirts and sweatshirts--covering up everything so that they would be "modest". This seemed to me to follow the letter of the law, and not the spirit--for they looked like slobs, were inattentive to their femininity, and had no outward grace. Yet, the Carmelites who lived, cloistered, up the street from me were the most feminine and graceful (and beautiful! and ageless!) women I had ever met.

Agatha, it seems to me, represents this struggle so well. In giving herself entirely to Christ, she lost some of those bodily signs of her womanhood (and motherhood!), in a glorious and heroic way. Thank goodness we are not all called to endure torture, but we will all suffer for and struggle with our femininity, and in that, we can all find a patron in St. Agatha.

St. Agatha is also the patron of those who has suffered from sexual assult, those who have breast cancer, single lay-women, wet-nurses, torture victims, and (I don't know why) against earthquakes, fire, and volcanic eruptions.

Secular Sex

I need help! 

My self-declared atheist student, a fine young woman who just got into MIT early decision, has started to confide in me and come after school to argue philosophical and religious points back and forth - the confiding and bantering I equally enjoy.  She has recently come and confided that she is worried that our generation is using sex to express the fact that they are profoundly lonely and that they feel it's the only way to experience intimacy.  She says that some of her friends (which may in fact be her) think that they want to have sex just to say that they aren't a virgin before going to college, some of them admittedly don't want to feel anything and are numb from depression, and others just want to see how it is with someone they like or wouldn't mind giving it a go with.  She is concerned, and wants advice.  She also asked me to help her craft a non-religious argument as to why premarital sex is "bad," or at least harmful for the parties involved.  Now, in our sexual ethics course we have covered this head to toe with psychological statistics, philosophical reflections, and science to back up the Church's claims that the best sex takes place in the safe and intimate context of marriage.  But this doesn't seem to be enough for her.  Can you please help me (by tomorrow afternoon), formulate a strong argument for her?  She desperately wants to know.  And please pray for her.  She is too smart not to be a follower of Christ...she has the intellectual capacity to be a doctor of the Church, but she is still resisting grace.  She is so special; I just love her.  Okay, thanks! 

Response to V-Day

Thanks for the great subject matter, Edith.  A few years ago my alma mater banned the V. Monologues from being performed onstage, although the work was still permitted to be read in class, so as not to jeopardize academic freedom (even at a Catholic institution), which I respected.  We were one of the first colleges in the country to do so, and I'm proud to have been there when the decision was made.  Of course it was controversial, and many women genuinely argued that silencing their performance would only contribute to the neglect of the horrible abuse that so many of God's daughters endure.  

If only it were a play that truly did justice to presenting the reverence and awe of womanhood which should be protected and safeguard in its carefully crafted and delicately constructed physical structure by God.  I understand the concept (at least in a postmodern world of literature and philosophy that we live in) of focusing on the physicality of the woman and locating the center in the place in which violation dreadfully occurs but when the vagina is speaking FOR the woman, then all of Edith's concerns ring true.  

Violence against women might be better prevented by cultivating wonder of our mind and body's gifts and all that we bring to the table.  I'm not sure if the Monologues are actually accomplishing this when the most intimate part of the female body, which is something so special around which we should remain reticent, is exposed in front of an audience.  It seems so counter-intuitive.  

Let's pray for all of the victims of domestic violence and sexual abuse, especially some of our friends and family.  

The Good Mass

So much to say! There have been so many good posts lately, and it's just my luck that I haven't had time to do anything but work for the last two weeks. I especially want to respond at length to Julian's post about Motherhood and the Single Life.

But for now, a humbling note. Yesterday started out wonderfully. I got a lot of things done, felt refreshed and ready for the week. I was still stressed about a few things, notably about my friend Helen (not her real name of course), who is dealing with divorce and faith crises, and about my job situation (both that I have too much work, and that I hate it!) As the afternoon wore on, I was in a bit of an emotional state, and finally I got to mass only to be greeted by...

THE CHA-CHA.

Seriously. The Hymn of the Prayer of St. Francis was done to a Cha-cha beat, and I nearly wanted to scream. From there on the mass was up and down. Or should I say, my engagement with it. The Gloria, even though it is one of my least favorite settings, was jubilant and stirring. The Mass Readings were powerful, and the sermon was good, if a bit rambling. But then there were the ad-libbed additions to the Mass, and the almost flippant recitation of blessings and prayers.

I was fuming by the time I left, and took it out on poor Julian. I said I was sorry before, but I really mean it now, dear! Why? When I got back home there was a text message from Helen. "Have a good mass. As if mass could be anything else."

Mea Culpa.