Edith's Back...

Well, as you probably noticed, I've been pretty silent this past month and half, and not without good reason. I first want to thank all of you for your prayers for me this past year. As you all know, 2010 was straight up Not.My.Year. And trust me, no one was happier than me to shed the weight of a terrible 2010 (literally - I left 25 lbs. behind!) Go 2011!!

Things have been looking up! I met a professor at Notre Dame who has invited to share in the community there, attend her class, and attend political science events. I have been working on my thesis...like really working, not aimlessly reading, and I even started teaching a class at the local college where I had interviewed earlier in 2010. God has shown me His bounteous gifts by giving me a new springtime, a new time of flourishing, a new outpouring of blessings. And I wake up every morning and thank God with my whole heart that He saved me from almost marrying a man who would have made me more than unhappy.

During the feast of the Immaculate Conception novena , I was praying to God for a confirmation that I was ready to start dating again. And He delivered. The last day of that novena, I was asked for my phone number...although nothing came of that save a few random text messages, it was still nice to feel that I had a 'green light' in my prayer life that I was really ready to date again (btw, stay tuned, in my text post, I'll share some experiences and seek some dating advice!) I have, however, gone out on one date and I had a great time. Although I am not thrilled to be in the dating scene, I am just joyful to be pursuing what God is asking me to do and becoming the person He is asking me to be.

Just a little life update for now, but more substantial posts to come! Dear 2011: I love you already! I love you so much, I am even looking forward to my 28th birthday (which falls on Good Friday this year.) I mean, if I am looking forward to being older and it falls on the most solemn day of the liturgical year, then I know things in life are definitely moving in the right direction!

On Being Googled

I've been thinking a lot about my use of technology, and its implications for the type of person I'm becoming, how I use my time, and whether or not the internet in particular is helping me to strengthen or weaken my relationships (certainly "the internet" and "technology" are nouns with many uses and purposes, and those could be parceled out and examined individually).

However, one thing that I do not really like is having an "online presence" or "virtual personality." What I mean by this is that if someone were to search for me in Google, various links would come up, mostly linking me to organizations and institutions that I am or have been affiliated with as well as news sources that have quoted me.

This has really only bothered me once before, when I found out on a third date that before a guy had initially asked me out, he had "Googled" me and saw that I was associated with an organization that he did not really care for (and come to find out, significantly misunderstood its mission). Before asking me out, he said he seriously weighed whether or not to pursue something, even though he thought I was attractive and we had shared several dynamic conversations in person. When he said that, I felt reduced to some sort of online attribute that he would have eventually come to understand about me more in depth and more organically should it have come up in conversation. We only went on a few more dates, partly because our morals did not line up after all, but also partly because I felt prematurely assessed based on my "virtual" encounter with him instead of my real encounters with him in person. It was almost as if he missed experiencing me, and instead "experienced" the virtual me.

This is just now crossing my mind again because I am supposed to be going out on a blind date in the next week or so after being "virtually" introduced by a colleague. I don't mind blind dates any more than dates after having talked to someone in person. But I can't help but wonder if he will "Google" me before meeting me in person, and what effect that will have on his opinion of our date and of me.

I choose not to Google him, and to see what happens. Let's just say, "I'm Feeling Lucky."

Snow Days...

....are good for so many things:

* Enjoying my coffee while reading the news

* Taking time for spiritual reading

* Catching up on correspondence with friends

* Shutting off my phone, email, and Facebook

* Saving my makeup for another day

* Being thoughtful about planning assignments and lessons apart from interruptions

* Journaling

* Reading poetry

* Listening to this song and this song on repeat

What Women Want

The Set-Up

Help!

I have never really ventured into the world of setting up friends who I think might make a compatible couple, but I was recently struck with the idea of introducing two wonderful persons to each other (in prayer!). Has anyone successfully done this? I've been on the other end of this process, and have experienced it a few different ways: being the only one who knew it was a "set up," being totally off-guard, and having the man also know this was a "set-up." For those matchmakers out there, what do you think is the best way to go? The opportunity for the two of them to meet is about a week away, in a relaxed atmosphere (a party), but I'm wondering if either of them (or both) should be clued into my thinking.

JPII We Love You!

The news went out this morning: Pope John Paul II will be beatified on Divine Mercy Sunday, May 1, 2011, in Rome. This is SO AWESOME. And such a fitting day: he was a huge promoter of devotion to the Divine Mercy, and was the one who moved the feast to the Sunday following Easter. Additionally, it is the feast of St. Joseph the Worker, and the first Sunday in the month of Mary, to whom he dedicated his entire papacy.

In the Decree, the Vatican especially singles out his attention to the youth and lay people of the Church. I was lucky enough to see him in 2000 at World Youth Day in Rome, and it was the begining of a real awakening to my faith--and an awfully fun time! And his death marked the completion of that circle, a very difficult time in my life, but very rich spiritually, and also, ultimately, a lot of fun.

I have to be honest with you: I still tear up every time I read his final words, which, reportedly, he spoke to us--the youth.

I sought you out and now you come to me. Thank you.

Servant of God, John Paul II, pray for us!

Thou Shall Not Covet

Oh, but how I do!

I (Might Not) Have a Dream

I've heard a lot about resolutions in the past few weeks. The January issues of many magazines offer suggestions about how to stay organized, how to get healthy, how to shed those last few pounds. Talk shows also offer tips about financial responsibility, what's ahead in 2011, and how to "be the best version of yourself." This chatter about resolutions has gotten me thinking about my own life and my own dreams for it. And right now, I'm dream-less.

No, this is not pessimism. And no, it's not apathy. I have mini-resolutions already set for myself dealing with a whole slew of virtues to grow in and practical ways to do it. I'm talking about dreams for what's ahead, even in the next few years. For the first time in my life (well, since college), I've settled into a job, a city, and a social group. But unlike college, there's no necessary graduation date, nothing propelling me to look ahead, to set out in a new direction, to move beyond it.

I have a lot of friends with goals and dreams. Finish writing my dissertation. Finally pursue this or that degree. Get a promotion. Live abroad. I just feel, well, dream-less. Does that mean I'm not thirsty?

I wonder sometimes if I should be digging deeper in my soul, and searching for the next purpose. I'm wondering now if this is just laziness, or if in fact it is contentment. And if it is contentment, I'm wondering if the growth I do will just be here in this place and time, and not beyond it. It's a new feeling, and one that I'm not comfortable with, as I've always been driven in the pursuit of a goal. Now, point just seems to be.

Dear John

I have been loving the readings at Mass this week, especially the first readings from 1 John.

This favorite token from yesterday:

"There is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear."

I have heard this so many times, I can't tell you. But yesterday, I just prayed and prayed about what fears are driving me on a daily basis. It is so clear to me that these fears, even if they are little, demonstrate that I don't trust God perfectly, so I don't love God perfectly. So much to work on...

And today:

"If anyone says, 'I love God,' but hates his brother, he is a liar; for whoever does not love a brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen."

I can think of a few people who make it very difficult for me to love them, but I also know that discipleship is not easy. I also know that if I love God, I must love them.

And lastly:

"And the victory that conquers the world is our faith." Just perfect.

Dear John,

I love you.

Julian