Three 20-something women trying to figure out what it means to be lay, Catholic, and modern all at once.

July 23, 2009

Dating in the Dark

So, as Agatha can attest to, I have become completely addicted to the show Lost on ABC (more on the explicit and implicit Catholic themes in the show later), and thanks to online streaming, I can watch the show for free (well, for the monthly internet fee that I pay) on ABC's website.  In exchange for the free viewing, I have to put up with a few thirty-second advertisements, usually for cleaning products or other shows on the network.  One such show that is running this summer is called Dating in the Dark in which, you guessed it, contestants go on dates with each other with the lights off.  (N.B. The show looks like a completely ludicrous attempt at showing that there is more to attraction than physical attraction.)  

However, for all of its absurdity, the title got me thinking...when it comes to dating these days, aren't we all in the dark? 

Someone recently asked me about my move to a new city and how my success with dating in the past year had been.  "How many dates have you been on, Julian?"  "Well," I answered, "that depends."  Do I count the men I've gone to events with alone but who have not paid for the meal or the ticket?  Do I count it if I asked the guy to go somewhere?  What if he paid for the whole evening or afternoon but himself qualified it as "hanging out"?  What qualifies as a date anymore, anyway?!?!?!  Does anyone else feel completely lost?  Do we always have to know if we are on a date or is there room for a little grey?  

Maybe I'm just a little frustrated that I just split a $10 bill after a guy just asked me to coffee.  This probably proves a guy's point that if you pay, she will assume it's a date... 


Margaret Perry said...

Oh my gosh, you had to pay for your coffee. LAME

VinoFino said...

I mean...for real? What a total STUPE. Man, when the right one comes, "J", I promise you he'll pay for your cup o' joe.

Aaron said...

I'm afraid that dates are sometimes like recessions: you can't know for sure that you're in one until after the fact.

Most people, both men and women, like incrementality: she mentions coffee, he says yes that would be nice (and picks up the $10 tab), she says afterward what a nice time she had and mentions the art museum, he suggests dinner afterward, etc, etc. Nobody wants to stick their neck out too far, and rightly so; you need not risk all of your heart on a stranger.

One of the signs of a blossoming relationship is that you pick up on each other's ques and are comfortable with the size and frequency of the increments. Of course we're all in the dark; we always have been. It's the light which proves it just might be something special...

Julian said...

Vino, I love you! Same to you!

Aaron, thanks for your beautiful response!

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