St. Maria Goretti

My apologies to my confirmation saint, Maria Goretti, for a quick, late night post on her feast day.  

The traditional "snippet" of her life: 

Born in Corinaldo, Ancona, Italy, on October 16 1890; her farmworker father moved his family to Ferrier di Conca, near Anzio. Her father died of malaria and her mother had to struggle to feed her children.

In 1902 an eighteen-year-old neighbor, Alexander, grabbed her from her steps and tried to rape her. When Maria said that she would rather died than submit, Alexander began stabbing her with a knife.

As she lay in the hospital, she forgave Alexander before she died. Her death didn't end her forgivness, however.

Alexander was captured and sentenced to thirty years. He was unrepentant until he had a dream that he was in a garden. Maria was there and gave him flowers. When he woke, he was a changed man, repenting of his crime and living a reformed life. When he was released after 27 years he went directly to Maria's mother to beg her forgiveness, which she gave. "If my daughter can forgive him, who am I to withold forgiveness," she said.

When Maria was declared a saint in 1950, Alexander was there in the St. Peter's crowd to celebrate her canonization. She was canonized by Pope Pius XII in 1950 for her purity as model for youth.

She is called a martyr because she fought against Alexander's attempts at sexual assault. However, the most important aspect of her story is her forgiveness of her attacker -- her concern for her enemy extending even beyond death. Her feast day is July 6. St. Maria Goretti is the patroness of youth and for the victims of rape.

I originally chose Maria Goretti for her namesake, as I had many female, Italian role models by her name in my own family after whom I wanted to model my life.  In all honesty, I did not give much thought to her in the beginning stages of my adult faith life, although I was conscientiously growing in my religious practices and devotions.  However, a few years ago in prayer, I suddenly *knew* out of the clear blue, that it was St. Maria Goretti who had been interceding for me for a decade to maintain my virginity for the decade or so after my confirmation.  It was as if she let me know, in a moment of prayer about my life and my purity or heart, that it had been she who had been responsible for me.  Since that time, I have begun to appreciate her role in my life even more, and I am drawn to ask for her prayers for victims of sexual assault in my circle of family and friends.  She has so much to offer those who will draw near to her, and she is definitely a kindred spirit of the Magdalene Sisters in heaven! 

The New Encyclical...

...will be available on Tuesday.  It's the first social encyclical written in about twenty years.  Go Papa B!  Once I get my paws on it, I'll be sure to post my thoughts.  

Travels

Well, I've been skipping around the country the last two weeks, and I'm finally able to sit and post.  I had a wonderful week rebuilding homes with teenagers through an amazing program run through my diocese.  It was seriously such an inspiring week, being among the less fortunate with teenagers who really have their heads and hearts fixed on Christ.  I was originally angered by the poverty that I encountered, and while I'm still uneasy about it, the time we spent talking to our resident and his granddaughter took away my anger and helped me to connect with two individuals who had the same questions about life that I had.  I have a real sense of a human family right now, and as cheesy as that sounds, in the week that followed, I found myself becoming aware of the need to really talk with people, to look them in the eye, and to hear their stories.  I pray this attitude continues for a lifetime.  It's so much easier to see Christ during the day if we slow down and talk to Him in the people we are often too busy to meet. 

The conference I went to at Notre Dame was okay in itself.  I found myself a little frustrated at other educators who were disgruntled at younger colleagues (like myself) who had different concerns than they did about the Church, insofar as someone my age would be considered a "post-Vatican II" Catholic educator.  But differences and motivations aside, we all sat listening to two pretty amazing speakers: Sr. Helen Prejean, who's life story was the backstory of the movie Dead Man Walking, and Imaculee Ilibagiza, who we've mentioned numerous times here on the blog.  And the greatest blessing of all?  I got to meet Imaculee!!! I truly believe that I was standing in the presence of a saint.  Her story of the power of the rosary, the power of forgiveness, the people of Rwanda, and the very real human fear of facing death moved me beyond words.  When she was speaking, the song "Gentle Woman" kept playing over and over in my head.  I can't wait to read more about Our Lady of Kibeho.  While Imaculee is still speaking about her experience during the genocide, she feels truly called to spread the message about Our Lady who appeared in Rwanda before the genocide.  All in all, I have been blessed with ample opportunity for God to profoundly remind me that this whole faith thing, this whole Catholic thing, is real.   

Peter and Paul and the Single Life

When I started this blog, and apporached Edith and Julian about contributing, I wanted to do something different from the other "single Christian girl" books and blogs out there--which focused on chastity as the only vritue of the single life. Chastity is important--its a foundation, and for some of us it is the hardest virtue to live with, but focusing in it alone seemed to miss the point. The real question os the single life is not "How long can I wait--do I have to wait--before I have sex?" but "How do I live well NOW?"

Today's readings, for the Feast of Sts. Peter and Paul really struck me. In the 2nd reading, Paul's 2nd letter to Timothy, he says:

I, Paul, am already being poured out like a libation,
and the time of my departure is at hand.
I have competed well; I have finished the race;
I have kept the faith.
...
The Lord stood by me and gave me strength,
so that through me the proclamation might be completed
and all the Gentiles might hear it.
And I was rescued from the lion's mouth.
The Lord will rescue me from every evil threat
and will bring me safe to his heavenly Kingdom.
To him be glory forever and ever. Amen.

The real struggle of the single life is to determine God's will for youself, and to give of yourself in a just and gracious way. Then someday we might be able to turn to our friends and say that we have also been poured out like a libation, and kept the faith, but the Grace of God.

Itinerary

My apologies for falling off the blogging bandwagon.  This past week I was doing this, and the upcoming week I will be doing this.  And guess who is speaking at the conference?  Immaculee!  I'm in the process of finishing her second book, Led by Faith, that Edith mentioned awhile back.  When I return from Notre Dame I'll be posting up the wazoo about all that I've experienced in the last few weeks.  God has been SO good to me.  Blessings on my sisters and our readers! Thanks for your patience!  

More Sad Life News

Yesterday Julian posted a story about a couple suing a pregnancy clinic for not disclosing that their child had Down Syndrome, saying they would have aborted the child.

Now I hear about a young woman who publicly struggled with the shock of her pregnancy, and begged readers of the NY Times parenting blog Motherlode for help with deciding what to do. She writes in her original email:

I’m a 22-year-old college graduate who is about to begin graduate studies at one of the most prestigious and difficult universities in the world. I’m looking at a February delivery — right in the middle of classwork — and by the time I finish my first year, I’ll have a 3-month old. When I start my second year, I’ll have a 6-month old and by the time I finish my program and start looking for a job, I’ll be a 24-year-old single mom...and I’m looking at a very lonely pregnancy.

The post garnered 672 comments, some blunt, others pleading, some sterile, others compassionate. Many urged her to consider adoption, reminding her that there are so many women who are unable to conceive at all. Ultimately (predictably?) she chose to abort the child.

I had two overwhelming feelings as I read this: compassion and frustration. I felt for her. I can't imagine what it would be like to be in that situation: a single woman about to take the next big important step in your life, and it turns out its not at all the step you planned on. I can't imagine being the girl calling her parents to tell her (though I think I can guess how my parents would react: shocked, but generous and supportive).

But I was also frustrated at the false dichotomy in the choice facing her. In her mind she either could have a child she didn't want because she only wants a child when she has a job, a man, better finances or she could not have the child. She did talk with an adoption counselor--so I'm not going to say she didn't consider that option--but even there she couldn't imagine herself giving up something she spends 9 months with and sacrifices so much for. There was no question of life (she even named the Zygote Ziggy--aren't we only supposed to name things when we know them). There was only a question of "do I want THIS life?" She said:

Once I came to the decision to terminate the pregnancy, so much of the guilt and sadness I’d been feeling melted away. I felt happy for the first time since finding out and I feel like my family is supportive of my decision. I’m focusing on the child I’ll have in a few years from now with someone I feel safe with and supported by. The life of that child will be infinitely better than this one and, sometimes, I wonder if such a miserable, lonely woman could even have a healthy child.

I have two things to say: you won't be lonely anymore, and there's only one way to find out if you're up to that challenge. Life is everything. EVERYTHING.

In making the decision she said: "I tend to do my best thinking in the kitchen and my life is currently lacking blueberry pie so I might discuss this matter with a rolling pin and some dough." It reminded me of the excellent film, Waitress where a pregnant Kerri Russel (with an abusive husband) spends most of her pregnancy hating the child, and making pies. The film is a joy. I won't spoil the ending, but I'll promise you it is not a glossy fairy-tale version of this impossible situation. It's rough, its dirty, and, like life, it's beautiful. I pray "Emmie" changes her mind. Because a child changes everything, and that's ok.

Let's pray...

...for the change of hearts of the parents and for the child who could feel so unwanted.  And let's pray for all of us who have ever felt unwanted.  Readers and sisters, much love in Christ! 

Corpus Christi and the Single Life

Today is the beautiful feast of Corpus Christi - the body and blood of Jesus Christ.  Our blog is a forum to think about what it means to be "single, lay, Catholic, and modern," so I wanted to muse about what the body and blood of Christ has to do with the single life.  

If there is one thing that I feel is certain about the single life, that is that there is no real palpable sense of "home."    Singles tend to work or study in various locations...big cities, suburbs, some domestically and some around the globe.  Many of us work to support ourselves.  We have the luxury of specialized study, the ability to think about what we want to do opposed to what we have to do.  We have no real roots down anywhere because we don't have obligations to others besides ourselves.  I've already moved twice since graduating from college, and in reality, I have no real ties to any one location.  All of this "rootlessness" is for better and for worse, though.  To be without obligations is a blessing in that we can serve the people that we're called to serve in our work and social circles, but it is really difficult in that we have no one at home asking of us and for us each day or night in an intimate, familial way.  When we return from work each day, do we really feel like we can put our feet up and feel secure, safe, and wanted?  I don't know about you, but I long for a sense of home on a daily basis.  Today, on this feast, I realized that when I approach the altar, I am going home.  There my king welcomes me with joy and love every time I approach Him there.   When we received the Eucharist, we find our home.  

The other thought that I had about this feast day in relation to the single life is that lay, modern, Catholic women ARE the corpus in the world.  We have the freedom, the time, the energy, and the opportunity to make Him present to others who need Him.  And that includes making Christ present to married people, to clergy, to religious, and to our fellow lay men who are all seeking gentle compassion, intelligent discussion, warm hospitality, and honest observation from women.  Single ladies, be the Body of Christ today, and know what we all have a home at the table.   

Internet Recommendations

I tend to be behind the times on good website finds, but I wanted to give my recommendation to two that have become relative staples as I begin summer clerical work.  The first is Catholic Exchange, which provides lots of interesting links, but one especially that helps me focus at the beginning of the day: the daily homily link.  I have to say that the "virtual Adoration" opportunity is not something that I'm going to try, but it is nice to be able to read the Gospel, read a concise homily on it, and get my day going - especially when I can't get to Mass. 

The other website, Pandora, has taken off already, but I wanted to say how great it is to be able to listen to music at work.   They do a really decent job of picking music that I would like based on personal favorites, so I've been exposed to new musicians and composers without my active research.  That, in turn, provides me more time to actually do work than to waste time on the computer! :)  

that's what she said

Julian: When I have my own place, I do want a dog. But I guess I should get a husband first. He's a higher priority.
Agatha: Oh, I don't know; you can buy a dog.
Julian: Maybe I can buy a husband.
Agatha: Oh yes, Russian MALE-order brides...

Summer Project #1: Purging the Closet

As a teacher I'm rewarded with a few months off in the summertime to relax.  However, I don't do well with "down time," so I've created several "to do" lists for myself, which span from reading lists, sightseeing destinations around the city, improving my teaching lessons/keeping current on material, and home organization.  The latter is the most pressing as I look around my room, and so I'll start there.  

Every single gal needs to purge her closet(s).  I'm sure the statue of limitations on how long one should go before doing it anew varies from girl to girl, but let's face it, there are certain things that we really can live without.  I'm going to take a little tour of my closet and see what needs to go: 

1.  Shoes.  First of all, I need to organize them by season.  There's no need for me to grab my knee-high black boots this time of year.  My second goal is to say goodbye to the shoes that are worn beyond repair.  Now, when I wear shoes, I wear shoes.  Mine rarely last beyond a season because I only ever buy a few, relatively practical and classic pairs for work that also carry me into the nightlife. This continual usage combined with standing for 6 hours straight as a teacher and walking in a major metropolitan city pretty much means wear and tear on the heal, the sole, and the width of the foot.  My goal is to part with the shoes that I simply can't wear for the next fall/winter season, and to make a list of the colors and styles I'll seek at summer's end.  I'm toying with the idea of having one of them repaired.  Any suggestions on when to say goodbye versus holding onto hope? 

2. T-shirts and gym clothes.  I have ENTIRELY too many of these, and as a single woman in an apartment, there simply is not enough room for them.  I don't know why I'm holding onto so many, because only two old t-shirts have sentimental value, and I rarely pull out about 2/3 of my shirts and shorts for running or going to the gym.  It's time to donate those or make them into dusting rags (thanks, Mom).  

3.  Bridesmaid dresses.  Now, I don't have a collection of 27, but I do have quite a handful.  I really don't care what anyone says, but you do not wear these again (and who ever shortens the long ones?).  Let's face it - if you were to wear one again so some hypothetical fancy event, wouldn't you think that everyone knew you were wearing a bridesmaid dress?  I know men don't understand why this matters, but it does.  My memories of the weddings are in my head as long as I have the capacity to remember, and even if that goes, I have plenty of pictures.  Time to donate them to young girls in need of prom dresses, no? 

4.  Skinny jeans (or "fat" jeans).   No, not the style of jeans, but those clothes that fit into the category of "When I lose 10 pounds or if I happen to gain 10 pounds I'll wear these again."I really only think that women need two, maybe three pieces that fit into either of these categories.  The average twenty-something is probably going to be steady in her weight as long as she is active and working.  Those jeans that I wore at college orientation didn't need to account for the childbearing hips that I've since accrued by age 25.  Even if they are only a size or two smaller, my body's shape has drastically changed into that of a woman (from that of a teenager).  Even if I happen to lose weight (and I do fluctuate), I still need to buy clothes that will flatter a figure with different dimensions.    

5.  Trendy pieces.  Trends change faster than they ever did.  In the Twitter Age, it's hard to keep up with just about anything.  My personal rule is to continue to buy classic pieces that never go out of style, and to only spend $15-20 on an occasional trendy piece of clothing.  Those pieces take up entirely too much space in my closet or in my dresser (including some of those "puffed sleeve" blouses from two seasons ago.  I loved them so much, but I'd look ridiculous wearing one out today).  I think it's best to dress up classic clothes with fun jewelry than to waste time or money on pieces that will be history by the time I get to the register to purchase them.  

That's it for now.  Other suggestions are welcome! 

Seeing Red!

Because we can't talk about serious stuff all the time, let me just say:

Red Lips Are In.

I'm not sure how I feel about this. I mean, I *love* red lipstick. I just don't like other people loving red lipstick. I like being the only girl on the block wearing it--especially because, honey, it looks great on me.

If you want to try the trend, start with these. My favorite: Bobbi Brown Lip Color in, you guessed it, RED.

(Photo by the magnificent and elegant fashion photo blogger, Garance Dore)

According to Your Will

I quit my job yesterday.

I slept in till 11, and haven't left the house.

I'm going to a party tonight.

I look pretty awesome. But I feel blank.

(Lord, please help me make all this turn out right.)

Matchmaker

I wish I was a writer. A writer of fiction, I mean. I would create love stories for all the people I love, and make them work out. Then I'd be an "Emma" only I wouldn't hurt anyone.

I think most women have a bit of the matchmaker in them. I can't claim any real successes--but I can't claim any disasters, either. There are certianly people I was pulling for to get together that did, and are now happily married , with little ones bouncing on their knees. But I'd be lying if I said I had anything to do with it.

I also have a list a mile long, both sexes, of people I want to see married. Of the men, I wish I could marry them all--they are so great! Of the women, well, I just don't understand why men aren't knocking down their doors. And yet none of them really match up with each other.

All the same, I have embarked on a little matchmaking project, and I am happy to say, I think it might work out. It certainly adds up on paper. And the more I think about it, the more I enjoy the idea. If I were a writer, I'd write the ending now. But this is real life, so I won't dare.

Mama Mia

I had promised a month or two back to provide some more notes from the ENDOW conference that I attended on the New Feminism, and now that the school year is ended, I can sit and share some things.  

During one point in the conference we were permitted to pick a "mock ENDOW study" of our choice.  I believe one was called "Knowing Your Dignity," another was on Mulieres dignitatem, and the third was a study of Redemptoris mater, or John Paul II's encyclical on Mary, mother of the redeemer.  I opted for the third talk as I had studied M.D. in depth and was pretty confident in my own dignity.  What I received was a brilliant, albeit concise, study on the Blessed Virgin.   Though the study spanned an hour and a half, I'll just provide two main ideas which are very similiar. 

The first thing that was said was that to the modern woman (that's us, folks), Mary can be a confusing figure.  How can she relate to us in the twenty-first century, with our crazed lives, many demands, stress-induced jobs, and quest for purpose and meaning in postmodernity?  Moreover, the modern woman is told that obedience is equated with subjugation and a threat to our dignity.  Here was this young virgin who says, "I am the handmaid of the Lord.  Let it be done to me according to your Word."  Where's Mary's autonomy?  Is she merely obeying out of some subservient, handmaid-y attitude? 

 The answer is no.  To be a handmaid in the Old Testament was to participate in God's unbreakable covenant.  A covenant is never-ending and involves the mutual protection of the parties (and here, since God's pretty set on his own self-protection, Mary's got a good gig going).  It's a good move on Mary's part...a beautiful move...a courageous move.  Moreover, obedience never means subjugation if the person in authority (or the person asking) is loving and wise (in Mary's case, Charity and Wisdom itself!).  To obey, in Latin, means to hear or to listen.  Mary is listening to a call, and she is autonomously responding to it.  God never infringes on her free will.  It's as modern as you can get! 

The second theme that the leader picked up on was that Redemptoris mater primarily defines Mary by her faith.   Though Mary is born without original sin, she is thoroughly human in all other things.  We tend to stop at the Annunciation after Mary makes this grand "yes" to God entrusting her.  But what follows this "yes" is a series of paradoxes and contradictions in her own life that must have made her question that "yes" and the covenant that she made with God.  And if she didn't, then she is a better woman than me (well, of course she is).  Mary's faith, in all of is humanness, was tested immediately after the Annunciation.  She conceives Jesus and while 8 or 9 months pregnant, has to travel (sans SUV) to Bethlehem.  Once she gets there, there is no comfortable place to rest, or to give birth, and so I can just imagine her (this is me projecting me onto Mary!) looking up to heaven and saying, "You want me to give birth to the Christ where?!?"  How confused Mary must have been after her "yes."  After the birth what does she have to do?  Just travel with a newborn to Egypt to flee death and persecution.  Life continues and when her son is in his thirties, his life is threatened as he preaches God's word.  And finally, what must Mary have been thinking as she walked with her son to Calvary?  Would she not have demanded answers from the Father?  What did her "yes" mean then?  Christ asks if He had been abandoned...would not Mary's cry have echoed that, too?  I can't imagine her life, faced with so many paradoxes and contradictions. 

The modern woman, whether single, married, or consecrated, faces such similar experiences everyday.  If we have been privileged enough to listen, hear, and respond to a call from the Father, how often do our lives turn out how we think they will after our own "yes"?  Hardly ever, in my experience.  My own projection about my life looks very different from what is unfolding.   Mary is the model for women in all eras and ages, to trust that when God calls us, He means it, all the way to the end.  

that's what she said

Agatha: I bought my first boots at that Lord & Taylor
David: Were they hooker boots?
Agatha: No they were riding boots.
Cecilia: that doesn't answer the question.

ToB and the Single Life

Julian, thank you so much for your follow-up on Christopher West--I think the questions you raise are essential, and really reach at the heart of why I wanted to start this blog. In the small Catholic world, especially among college age kids, I saw time and again young woman who idealized sex and marriage because of a (I think faulty) reading of Theology of the Body, largely fostered by JPII Lite. They idealized marriage and sex, talking about it in such lofty theological terms, that nothing could live up to their expectations. This always bothered me; their romanticism was toxic--perhaps it was not perverse sexual fantasy, but it was still fantasy.

I always wanted to hit them on the head and say: Sex is messy; marriage is messy and full of pain (and wonderful in spite of that!); life is messy. If you are lucky, you will marry the best man you have ever known, and he will be your Christ-bearer--bringing you closer to Christ. But you won't marry St. Joseph, and if you expect him to be St. Joseph, you are setting yourself up for disaster.

It struck me as an odd point of view because Theology of the Body isn't really about sex and marriage. Ok, it is--but it is about sex and marriage because they are part of a much deeper inquiry, and inquiry into what it means to be a human, and to live out your vocation, and what that vocation might be based on. These questions are fundamental, regardless of whether you are married or not. And this is what we single girls must take away from ToB: how do I live a good life, and answer the "universal call to holiness." And then we have to go out and live those messy uncertain blessed lives that God has planned for us.

Woman Warrior of the Month June: Immaculée Ilibagiza

This month, I'd like to introduce the Woman Warrior Rwandan refugee, and now American citizen Immaculée Ilibagiza. I don't know if you have ever heard of her, but she's been a media sensation since her book Left to Tell emerged last year. Interestingly, though not surprisingly, the media has not featured two new books by Ilibagiza: Led by Faith and Our Lady of Kibeho, who appeared in Rwanda just before the genocide began.

If you have never read Immaculée's story, do so! She survived the genocide of Rwanda in the early 1990's, while her entire family - parents and all her brothers -- were brutally slaughtered by people who were at one time close family friends and neighbors. She was hidden in a tiny bathroom for months with seven other women. Immaculée found the strength to pull through and forgive those who murdered her loved ones. Her weapon of choice: the rosary. There are two particularly moving passages in her story Left to Tell. First, the story her brother's martyrdom at the hands of the Hutu murderers. It's reminiscent of St. Sebastian's death. And the story of her confrontation with those murderers: she forgave. What a woman of strength!!!! Here's a description of her story from her website:

Immaculée's life was transformed dramatically during the 1994 Rwandan genocide where she and seven other women spent 91 days huddled silently together in the cramped bathroom of a local pastor's house. Immaculée entered the bathroom a vibrant, 115-pound university student with a loving family - she emerged weighing just 65 pounds to find her entire family had been brutally murdered (with the exception of one brother who had been studying out of the country).

Immaculée credits her salvage mostly to prayer and to a set of rosary beads given to her by her devout Catholic father prior to going into hiding. Anger and resentment about her situation were literally eating her alive and destroying her faith, but rather than succumbing to the rage that she felt, Immaculée instead turned to prayer. She began to pray the rosary as a way of drowning out the negativity that was building up inside her. Immaculée found solace and peace in prayer and began to pray from the time she opened her eyes in the morning to the time she closed her eyes at night. Through prayer, she eventually found it possible, and in fact imperative, to forgive her tormentors and her family's murderers.

Immaculée's strength in her faith empowered her to stare down a man armed with a machete threatening to kill her during her escape. She also later came face to face with the killer of her mother and her brother and said the unthinkable, "I forgive you." Immaculée knew, while in hiding, that she would have to overcome immeasurable odds without her family and with her country destroyed. Fortunately, Immaculée utilized her time in that tiny bathroom to teach herself English with only The Bible and a dictionary; once freed she was able to secure a job with the United Nations.

If you are interested in hearing about this story from Immaculée herself, you can find a list of her public appearances here.

True Story

I'd like to propose a little column called "True Story," where we (or at least I) can post about the absurdities that we encounter on a regular basis.  I've decided that my life is too comedic not to be shared with people who might need a laugh.  If this column proves to be too weird, I'll nip it in the bud! 

So, true story: I've volunteered to chaperone a Habitat-for-Humanity-like trip for high school students run through my diocese.   Yesterday, the high schoolers, the rest of the adult chaperones, and I hosted a car wash in order to fundraise for the tools that we need to buy.  It was a perfect event, not only because we were blessed with so many generous donations, but because there is really no better to way to bond people together than through Christian service and good old-fashioned manual labor.   

Anyway, one young student's older, very good-looking cousin came by with his Jeep for a car wash.  He struck up a conversation with me and we spent a good ten minutes chatting about what we both do, where we were from, etc.  He stuck around for the better part of the first hour, which provided us with other opportunities to chat.  We were in mid-conversation about his responsibilities in the Army, when he got in his car in what appeared to be an attempt to allow another car some room to get washed.  But instead of stopping and getting out, he just kept driving, and didn't come back!    A fellow chaperone asked a few minutes later where he was and commented on how it looked like he was really engaging me, and when I told her that he was gone, she looked equally baffled.  Now, I know I probably didn't look that awesome without my makeup and only one coffee in, but c'mon...fleeing the scene mid-conversation?  I think I reached a new level of weird! :) 

Where do we go...

It's a good question, Edith, and one I've been pondering this week.  The Catholic bloggers are out and about reporting on West and his supporters and critics.  Perhaps West is becoming too much of a scapegoat here for the larger question at stake: Should there be another sexual revolution?  Or has sex become too much the focus of our evangelization?  Do we try to co-opt a revolution and re-direct it, or do we put our focus elsewhere?  

Right now my answer to the questions at stake would be to steer away from a "sex-centered" anthropology and to move into a larger Catholic understanding of the human person that we put forth for the rest of the world to see.  Sure, we finally have some good vocabulary to talk about the holiness of sex in all of its carnality, but human sexuality is only one road to take in arriving at the larger picture of the human person as known through the revelation of Jesus Christ.  If we are made for happiness, might we also not try with equal effort to redirect the Western utilitarian or economic conception of the human person?  Could we not also promote true happiness by cultivating a love of the arts?  Could we talk about the body's role in relating to others without stopping at the "nuptial" understanding of it?  

I think the answers are yes, yes, and yes.  Agatha introduced us to a discussion on celibacy a few posts back.  The celibate priest or religious participates in the very anthropology that married couples do by virtue of having a body.  For my part, the Theology of the Body is an anthropological study which uses sexuality to talk about our interpersonal relationships and our relationships with Christ.  I think we're (and West is) getting stuck at the beginning of the discussion though, and we haven't quite arrived where JPII intended to lead us. 

If Not West, Where Do We Go?

I think Julian brought up a great point in her last post on Christopher West.

that's what she said (#2)

Julian: "I think I need a patron for my studies."
Agatha: "They're called sugar daddies."

* * *
Julian: "I need a patron!"
Fr. J (her spiritual advisor): "I think they're called sugar daddies."

Christopher West Goes South

I'm sure by now those in the Catholic blogging world are familiar with Christopher West's Nightline interview with ABC in which he explained how both John Paul II and Hugh Hefner "rescued human sexuality from prudish Victorian morality." While many of us do not doubt West's good intentions in his work and his love of the Church, I have always had some problems with his apostolate, and it seems that I'm not the only one. David L. Schindler, Provost of the John Paul II Institute for Marriage and the Family, wrote a thorough and thoughtful response to West's interview about his need for "renewed theological reflection." The full response can be found here. It's worth the read.

Let me stress that I agree with those who vigorously defend West’s
intention of fidelity to the Church. Certainly he has had positive results in
drawing many Catholics into a deeper understanding of their faith. As for
myself, I do not initiate anything about West in my classes, but only respond
when asked a question. Then I begin by emphasizing West’s intention of
orthodoxy. As I have often put it, "he would throw himself in front of a bus for
the Church." It is important to understand, however, that good will is not
synonymous with sound thought; and I must say, not without reluctance, that
West’s work seems to me to misrepresent in significant ways the thought of John
Paul II.

The following examples have been verified by persons directly involved
or by things written by West himself (and I regret the necessary adoption of
West’s own language).

West’s work has involved suggesting that a man and
woman bless their genitals before making love; blessing the ovaries of women in
his classes; advising young men in college and the seminary to look at their
naked bodies in the mirror daily in order to overcome shame; using phallic
symbolism to describe the Easter candle; criticizing “flat-chested” images of
Mary in art while encouraging Catholics to “rediscover Mary’s ... abundant
breasts” (Crisis, March 2002); referring to the “bloodied membrane” of the
placenta as a "tabernacle" (Colorado Catholic Herald, 12/22/06); stating that,
while “there are some important health and aesthetic considerations that can’t
be overlooked,” “there's nothing inherently wrong with anal penetration as
foreplay to normal intercourse," (Good News About Sex and Marriage, 1st ed.,
emphasis in original), though qualifying this in the revised edition and
stressing the subjective dangers of lust in such activity; and, on Nightline,
praising Hugh Hefner for helping rescue sex from prudish Victorian attitudes,
saying that there are “very profound historical connections between Hefner and
John Paul II,” while emphasizing that John Paul II took the sexual revolution
further and in the right direction.

I offer these examples not merely because they are vulgar and in bad
taste, not to mention sometimes bordering on the just plain silly, but because
they indicate a disordered approach to human sexuality. An objective distortion
in approaching sexuality does not cease to be such simply because it is
theologized. West to be sure will point toward the “orthodox” intentions and
context of the examples, but my criticism bears on the substance of his
preoccupation as reflected in the examples.

Schindler continues with a delineation of some serioues theological problems in West's writing and thought. For my part, West's reading of the Theology of the Body and my own reading have never really matched up. I studied the T.O.B. along with Karol Wojtyla's The Acting Person, which is his philosophical antropology about the human person "in act." The T.O.B. says as much about our bodies' experience of another person's body in other actions besides sex as it does discuss sexual intercourse (as well as discussing the spiritual body that we will have in heaven).

Though it is truly admirable of West to want to preach about Catholicism's understanding of human sexuality as good, true, and beautiful, it seems to me to be slippery slope into hyper-sexualizing human sexuality in the Catholic tradition in order to reach the culture.

The final point from Schindler:

But sex is not even the most important part of human love, let alone the key
to the Christian mysteries–the Eucharist, for example. Missing in West’s
work is an adequate idea of the radical discontinuity (maior dissimilitudo )
between the divine love revealed by God–and indeed the (supernatural) love
to which we are called–and sexual love or intercourse. To be sure, the
spousal love between man and woman is central in man’s imaging of God, and
the gendered body and sexual relations are an integral sign and expression of spousal love, which also includes what John Paul II calls all the other manifestations of affection. However, as Joseph Ratzinger says, it is only because man has a capacity for God that he also has a capacity for another human being. The former indicates the “content,” the latter the “consequence,” of man’s likeness to God.

It seems to me, then that we, as Catholics, must still live our lives as if sex is not everything, because it's not. I feel especially priviliged to be single and to witness to this truth!

Woman Warrior of the Month Column

A few weeks ago, I was at the Campus Catholic Center at my university chatting a with a friend about a book I had lent her -- Led by Faith by Immaculée Ilibagiza. "This book is so incredible, Edith. Immaculée is such a woman warrior. I would give her a bow and arrow!" I replied, "Great, I am so glad you liked it!! I hope that I have the courage to be a woman warrior one day!" And she said, "Oh Edith, in my book, you already are. I'd give you a bow and arrow any day!" Which blew me away, because indeed my friend is one of the most luminous, strong, and beautiful women I know!!

But this conversation gave rise to a thought -- Have you ever read a story about a woman -- maybe a story of one of the saints, or woman in our contemporary time -- and were just amazed at her strength and courage? These are the women who have endured life's most difficult trials, or women who are paving the way for us to embrace an authentic femininity, or women who just exemplify something so beautiful, we just don't know how to put it into words.

Well, I am introducing to you our monthly (or maybe even weekly) posts featuring just such a woman. Now, we've done it in little ways all along, with posts about Adrienne Von Speyr, Sophie Scholl, and St. Agatha just to name a few. But I think we need to dedicate something on this blog regularly, because we need to know about women who demonstrate true femininity in order to become those women. After all, doesn't virtue come first through imitation? (Thank you, Aristotle.)

Our first Woman Warrior column will debut on June 1, so stay tuned! And readers, please give us your thoughts! Tell us about the women warriors you have touched your life!

In Memoriam

Just a quick post to say "Thank you" to all of the men and women who have served and who now serve our country.  We are so blessed by their courage and selflessness.   Let's remember to pray for their protection not only today, on Memorial Day, but everyday.  Let it be a prayer we utter in the morning and before we go to bed.  

Thing Thing About Advice...

...is that it's free.  And when something is being given away for free, we should have a little pause before accepting it. 

Consider the article in Self magazine entitled, "Just Do it."  The tag line? "Sure, sex is satisfying, but making love yields more benefits than the Big O."  According to the spread, sex can do the following: reduce migraines, give you extra confidence, help you sleep better, boost your immune system, enhance your sense of smell, reduce your male partner's risk of stroke by 50%, work your glutes, abs, and triceps, and give you a "souped-up sex drive," which means "the more you have it, the more you want it" (as if their readers are complete imbeciles). 

Of course there are positives to sex, but do we, as a culture, really need more motivation to have it and to have it more often?  Do we need to have more motivation to have it other than monogamous intimacy?  Do I really need to go around wondering if my virginity is compromising my peak olfactory sense? Is there no other way to give myself that extra confidence? 

And just because she likes to jump in their with sound advice, Oprah has decided to post a list of American cities where my chances of meeting my potential spouse will be boosted (well, at least the best chances of meeting single men over 35).  Should I really pack my bags for Salt Lake City because I haven't met him yet?  Is there no possibility of of finding love where I am? 

Her friend Gayle King compiled another list with some "expert."  The top place to meet a man?  The farmer's market:

Their first stop is a farmers' market. While some women might take this—and any other errands, such as running out to get the paper or a gallon of milk—as an opportunity to wear bleach-stained sweatpants and oversized T-shirts, Steve says they should instead treat it as a potential time to meet guys. Instead of dressing like a "shlumpadinka," Steve says you should leave the house looking great. What does Steve consider an appropriate errand outfit? "A little lip gloss, a cute T-shirt, some nice jeans." 

Gayle and Katina disagree, saying that an errand doesn't need to be fashion show. Steve's response is clear and direct. "Men are always looking," he says. "Therefore, you always have to be ready to be looked at if you want to meet a guy." 

So ladies.  The first stop is your produce run.  The second stop, if you're interested, is the driving range.  You NEED to pick up golf and get yourself a good caddie in order to find Mr. Right.  

Sorry if my sarcasm is too apparent, but for right now, I'm all set with advice. 

 

Playlist (#2)

I don’t wanna waste good wine
If you won’t stick around
I love to laugh but I’m more than just
Your alcoholic clown
I won’t pray this prayer with you
Unless we both kneel down
I don’t wanna waste good wine
If you won’t stick around

--I Don't Want to Waste My Time, from Over the Rhine

For Those of Us Who Love the Pope...

I saw this and I had to share. Presenting Pope2you.net: the Pope on just about every possible media available (although surprisingly, Pope Benedict XVI is NOT on Twitter, at least not yet...and I hope you can pick up my sarcasm on that...). I love the Pope, but I don't know whether to be excited because this is so cool, or to be totally freaked out by our reliance on technology and the FIVE different media present here!! In any event, I'll be checking it out, and I thought some of you might be interested too!!

On Celibacy

Most of you probably know about Human Life International, and it's president, Rev. Thomas J. Euteneuer. They do amazing work, and if you don't, please take a moment to check them out.

Fr. Euteneuer also writes a weekly column which he send to the HLI mailing list, and I wanted to point out to you this week's excellent commentary on Celibacy.

Number One: Celibacy is a gift to the world, not a rule imposed by the Church on a few seemingly-abnormal men. Celibacy initiates men into a life of spiritual fatherhood in a strikingly positive way for others. We are called “father” for a reason: we bring spiritual life to our people through the sacred mysteries which we handle, and they are drawn into a spiritual family thereby. A truly dedicated priest has thousands of spiritual children who sometimes make immense demands on him—I often wish I had only seven children like my father! In an age where men have massively renounced their sacred duty to generate, protect and nurture families, there are myriads of selfless, celibate men sacrificing themselves in a truly manly way for the sake of God’s family and, indeed, even for the sake of many individual families.

...Number two: Celibacy is the personal renunciation of the legitimate goods of marriage and family as a fruitful sacrifice for the kingdom of God. The astonishment of this generation that a perfectly normal, red-blooded male could make that particular sacrifice is exactly the point of celibacy. The world needs to know that there are some men walking around who are not bound either by the expectations of society or by the terms of our fleshly human nature. They are bound by only one concern; that of a kingdom that is not of this world, and they are willing to sacrifice everything for it. The presence in society of men who make this sacrifice is profoundly challenging to a culture that wants to reduce everything in life to the pleasure principle...

For the full article, click here, and to subscribe to Fr. Eutenuer's Spirit & Life newsletter, click here.

And Yet Another Fashion Find This Week...

...Again courtesy of Modestia (which has two more modest swimwear sites to check out!) I found Shade Clothing....clothing for women who want to be both modest and stylish!!! Modestia...you are a Magdalene Sister's dream.....

that's what she said.

Julian: did you ever want to date him?
Agatha: no, never. he's a great guy, but no.
Julian: sorry if that was too forward; i was always curious
Agatha: no, not too forward. you can always just ask. the answer is usually (sadly) no.
Julian: then if you're called to marriage, it's going to be really special.
Agatha: ha! it better be!

Fashion Find of the Week

So I wrote in my last post about a blog called Modestia. Well, I am soooo loving this blog. This week, the author is featuring "Modest Swimwear." Check it out! A new designer of modest swimwear each day of the week!! I LOVE IT!!. The suits are cute, trendy, and modest! Perfect way for a Magdalene sister to get ready for the summer sun...with sunscreen of course!

Followup to Notre Dame

The best article I have found thus far on the Notre Dame commencement is from Joseph Bottom at First Things. Catholic Culture and the Notre Dame Protests builds on an earlier article in The Weekly Standard, and his published article in this month's First Things.

The bishops didn’t want this fight. The battle over the Catholicism of America’s Catholic colleges was coming, one way or another, but no bishop (or serious commentator, for that matter) hoped it would break into public view over a visit to Notre Dame by the president of the United States, who is owed respect simply for the office he holds.

Nonetheless, the bishops were forced into the fight—and they were forced into it from below. The incompetence and petulance of Notre Dame’s president, Fr. John I. Jenkins, didn’t help—as I observed in the pages of First Things this month, he had to work hard to turn “an unhappy situation into a disastrous one.” But the impetus for criticizing Notre Dame came at the bishops rather than from the bishops.

and

Maybe that’s why, if we shed the political view, the whole mess at Notre Dame reveals itself as a fight over Catholic culture. The protesters are certainly a minority among self-identified Catholics, but they are also the wire through which the most current is flowing in American Catholicism today. “Opposition to abortion doesn’t stand at the center of Catholic theology. It doesn’t even stand at the center of Catholic faith,” I noted in the Weekly Standard. Still, at the current moment, “Opposition to abortion is the signpost at the intersection of Catholicism and American public life.”

Should it be so? Catholic theology would be peculiar if it had at its root a negation rather than an affirmation. Catholic faith would be unreal if at its deepest heart lay opposition to abortion rather than embrace of Jesus Christ. You don’t have to travel far in theology or faith to arrive at knowledge of the absolute evil of abortion, but neither theology nor faith properly begin there.

Still, Catholic culture—and the Catholic intersection with the princes and powers of earth—must always be adversarial in some ways. We have in this world no perfect home, and if right now the adversarial element is expressing itself most forcefully in opposition to abortion, then the culture of the faithful is manifesting something that deserves respect—something that deserves agreement.

Some Good Answers

Recently, Julian and I were blogging on issues related to maintaining innocence of our children, modesty, and make-up names. I think the basic message is that we are simply fed up with the fashion industry that uses sex to sell products and tells us that we have to be little sex kittens to get what we want.

Well, I've recently found that other women out there really are fed up to. I found a great blog on dressing modestly called Modestia. The author, Rebecca, is a film student from CA who faces many challenges as a Catholic in a very anti-Christian field. And her blog is fantastic!!! She has a TON of awesome side links for fashion sites that sell modest clothing and promote beauty without the trash.

One of my favorite finds on Rebecca's blog is this fashion magazine called ELIZA. The magazine describes itself as:

Welcome to the Eliza Magazine website! Eliza Magazine is created for women who want to be stylish, sexy, and engaged in the world while retaining high standards in dress, entertainment, and lifestyle. Eliza strives to bring you the best of fashion without any of the trash. We will not uncover the sexual secrets to make him want you, promote people who are glitz with no substance, or glorify lifestyles that we know do not bring happiness. We are dedicated to finding up-and-coming fashion lines, showcasing pieces that are worth the big price tags, and discover deals that are just as hip at your local low-end department stores−along with presenting articles on uplifting entertainment, current issues, creative ideas, and life in general.

Finally!! A fashion mag that promotes some authentic femininity!! It gives me hope that there are more of us out there. Let's reinvent the fashion industry and promote a new femininity!

Being Ready

Tonight after Mass I was reading a little book called Lumina/New Lumina, which has sayings of the twentieth century mystic Adrienne von Speyr.  In one small passage she writes, "Love has no beginning, since before it became concrete, it was already present in the attitude of readiness." 

I LOVE this. 

I was praying about my desire for a good man in my life, and this passage made me pause and think about how beautiful the attitude of readiness is, and how we need it every moment of every day.  

I can't tell you how many times I've heard, "It'll happen (love) when you least expect it."  "He must not be ready to meet you yet."  "You must not be just ready for him yet."  But I'm not sure the use of readiness is used as it should be in these consolations.  Phrases like the ones above tend make me feel that I'm not yet at a demarcated point that I need to be at in order to have the love of a husband.  But I'm not sure if readiness can be measured.  We are constantly cultivating readiness.  It's a space, a place, an attitude, a state of life, in which we make room for another.  I like this idea of meditating on being ready as a dynamic movement, a continual process, more than the arrival at some time or state of perfection.  

Von Speyr's words can (and should) be read about the space and attitude that we must continually create and prepare for Christ.  It's the attitude that the world needed to have before Love (God) became "concrete," or incarnate.  But even when the world was "ready," nothing about the people who encountered Christ was perfect.  How they misunderstood him, misread the signs, mistook his message.  The circumstances were not always ideal, the setting not close to perfect.  Neither are we ever perfectly ready for Christ when He asks us to do things, to carry people, to bear situations.  But our whole lives entail the act of cultivating this preparedness for Him in our hearts.  

I pray for all single men and women to discern on a daily basis how to make room for the "other," especially for their spouse and for Christ. 

Today was the Day

Well, today it happened -- yes, the most pro-abortion president in our history gave the commencement address at Our Lady's university. Does anyone else wonder what she must be thinking?? Here's a snippet from a New York Times article on today's infamous event:

Anti-abortion leaders protested his appearance at the University of Notre Dame and he was heckled four times during a commencement address by protesters yelling slogans like “abortion is murder.” But the audience shouted down the hecklers and cheered Mr. Obama as he called for “open hearts, open minds, fair-minded words” in a debate that has polarized the country for decades.

"Maybe we won’t agree on abortion," the president told 2,900 graduating students as well as their relatives and professors, "but we can still agree that this is a heart-wrenching decision for any woman to make and not made casual. It has both moral and spiritual dimensions. So let’s work together to reduce the number of women seeking abortions by reducing unintended pregnancies."

Well, ladies - what do we think? I can agree that we need to reduce unwanted pregnancies. However, we as a nation and as a global community need to recognize that while there may be unwanted pregnancies, there is no such thing as an unwanted child. And I am not sure that increasing availability of birth control will help. I just get so disheartened by all of this.

On another note, last night I had a conversation with a friend who told me of one her best friends who has an abortion about 10 or 11 years ago. When she married and got pregnant again, she dreamt ever night of her first baby -- a daughter in her dreams. She still thinks of her always. She is not alone. So many post-abortive women suffer in the exact same way. Let's pray for women and men suffering from an abortion. I hope you will suggest help if you know them, or will seek it if you are such a woman or man. Here's some sources that can help: Rachel's Vineyard, Project Rachel, Hope After Abortion.

I Don't Know The Words

My word: I haven't posted in quite some time. I apologize, my sisters. Part of the point of this blog was to serve as a source of strength and inspiration as we struggle with the daily goings on of our life, but sometimes those burdens grow so large that I find little point in talking about them. Or rather, the only words I can come up with are complaints.

I had that problem last week. My parents came out for a visit--which is very different from when I go home for a visit. When i go home, I go to be refreshed, talk about things, rest my body so that I can rest my mind. When they came out we went from place to place, juggled logistics, wandered from resturant to resturant. It was crazy, and I was moody.

Now that they are gone, all I can think is: I wasted all that time, and all those chances to see how they're doing, what their thinking, how they like the city, what they want to do. And all those chances to talk about what I was burdened with.

On the other hand, Mom called to say she had more fun this weekend than she has had in a really long time. I guess I did something right.

Feast of Blessed Julian of Norwich

Today is the feast of my "blogging patroness," Blessed Julian of Norwich. Agatha asked me to write a little bit about why I chose her to guide my writing.

To begin, there are many saints and blesseds whom I love dearly and hope to emulate. My Confirmation saint, St. Maria Goretti, has seen me through so many experiences in which my purity (in many different dimensions) has needed protection. As I have mentioned before, St. Catherine of Siena has moved me to trust in God's providence. But I met Blessed Julian of Norwich at a crucial time in my life when I desperately needed to know why I had felt abandoned by God.  She has continued to play an instrumental role in my early adulthood, and so I thought that she might be of some help to me as I figure out what it means to love as a young woman in the modern world, as she herself had to discern the meaning of many life experiences.  

During my senior year of college I experienced a very profound spiritual drought. I would not call it a "dark night" like that of St. John of the Cross or the many saints who have endured something like it. But my experience mimicked on a small scale the feeling of abandonment by God, and there were many nights where I went to the chapel on our campus and literally wrestled with both God and the devil at the same time.

It was during this period that I was taking an elective on Christian Mysticism with an absolutely brilliant professor (actually an Anglican priest who converted to Catholicism and so also had a family!). During this class I met Blessed Julian, one of the most renowned writers of medieval England.  Over the course of several decades, Julian was given many "shewings," or revelations.  In her own bodily suffering, she learned the meaning of Christ's suffering, as she had visions and experiences of Him explaining it to her.  This passage of hers has been a constant source of comfort to me when I ask God the inevitable question: Why? 

And from the time that [the vision] was shown, I desired often to know what our Lord's meaning was. And fifteen years and more afterward I was answered in my spiritual understanding, thus: 'Would you know your Lord's meaning in this thing? Know it well, love was his meaning. Who showed it to you? Love. What did he show you? Love. Why did he show it? For love. Keep yourself therein and you shall know and understand more in the same. But you shall never know nor understand any other thing, forever.'
Thus I was taught that love was our Lord's meaning. And I saw quite clearly in this and in all, that before God made us, he loved us, which love was never slaked nor ever shall be. And in this love he has done all his work, and in this love he has made all things profitable to us. And in this love our life is everlasting. In our creation we had a beginning. But the love wherein he made us was in him with no beginning. And all this shall be seen in God without end ...

Love.  That is the answer to all of my questions.  So, thank you, Julian.  I really hope to name a daughter after you one day.  And, in any event, who doesn't like to hear, "All shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well"? 

National Catholic Prayer Breakfast

Last friday I had the pleasure of attendin the National Catholic Prayer Breakfast, a veritable who's who of Catholics in Washington, D.C. This year's keynote speakers were Justice Scalia and Archbishop Burke, of St. Louis.

Scalia was wonderful--wry and grave--as he discussed the "foolishness" of believing in the Ressurrection. It was a stirring talk, charging Catholics to act with courage in the public sphere, calling on the example of St. Thomas More.

But it was Burke's thoughtful and powerful address, "The Teachings of the Catholic Church" that stole the show. The speech is amazing, and I encourage you all to read it in full.

The path of violation of the most fundamental human rights and of the integrity of marriage and the family, which our nation is traveling, is not accidental. It is part of the program set forth by those whom we have freely chosen to lead our nation. The part of the program in question was not unknown to us; it was announced to us beforehand and a majority of our fellow citizens, including a majority of our fellow Catholics, chose the leadership which is now implementing it with determination. For example, I refer to our President's declared support of the Freedom of Choice Act, which would make illegal any legislation restricting procured abortion; his repeal of the Mexico City Policy, permitting U.S. funding of procured abortion in other nations, together with the grant of fifty million dollars to the United Nations Fund for Population Activities which, for example, supported the Republic of China's policy of one child per family by means of government-dictated sterilization and abortion; his proposal to rescind the regulations appended to the federal Conscience Clause, which assure that, not only physicians, but also all health-care workers may refuse to provide services, information or counsel to patients regarding medications and procedures which are contrary to their conscience; his removal of limitations on federal funding of embryonic-stem-cell research, involving the wholesale destruction of human life at the embryonic stage of development; and his choice of the members of his administration, who are remarkable for the number of major officials, including several Catholics, who favor the denial of the right to life to the unborn and the violation of the integrity of marriage and the family. These are only some examples of a consistent pattern of decisions by the leadership of our nation which is taking our nation down a path which denies the fundamental right to life to the innocent and defenseless unborn and violates the fundamental integrity of the marital union and the family.

As Catholics, we cannot fail to note, with the greatest sadness, the number of our fellow Catholics, elected or appointed by our President to public office, who cooperate fully in the advancement of a national agenda was is anti-life and anti-family. Most recently, the appointment of a Catholic as Secretary of Health and Human Services, who has openly and persistently cooperated with the industry of procured abortion in our nation, is necessarily a source of the deepest embarrassment to Catholics and a painful reminder of the most serious responsibility of Catholics to uphold the natural moral law, which is the irreplaceable foundation of just relationships among the citizens of our nation. It grieves me to say that the support of anti-life legislation by Catholics in public office is so common that those who are not Catholic have justifiably questioned whether the Church's teaching regarding the inviolable dignity of innocent human life is firm and unchanging. It gives the impression that the Church herself can change the law which God has written on every human heart from the beginning of time and has declared in the Fifth Commandment of the Decalogue: Thou shalt not kill.

A Response to "The Little Ones": A Makeup Makeover

That you for such an interesting conversation topic, Edith. I can't tell you how much I sympathize with what you experienced with your boyfriend and the rehearsal. This year I chaperoned prom, and even though my students are a good ten years older than the girls in the recital, some of them were dressed so provocatively that I blushed when they walked through the registration line. Honestly, I felt so uncomfortable as their teacher and mentor, seeing so many intelligent, naturally beautiful girls vamped up in dresses that barely covered their bodies. It broke my heart, actually! However, one student came in to speak with me about how her mother always tells her, "No matter what you do, do it with class." That's how she lives her life in the culture: engaging her peers and the culture but picking and choosing what she listens to, goes to see, or wears out in public based on whether or not it makes her feel classy....and like the classic beauty that she is. At least there's one besides us!

On this note, yesterday I popped into Aveda to pick up some concealer and some lip color. Now, I always have a tough time buying concealer since my olive skin tone changes this time of year as I get more sun. Hence, I had to spend a little more time testing out the shades to find the perfect match. "Let's see," I thought. "It looks like it's between 'bronze', 'bamboo,' or this one - bitch'" Bitch?!?! Yes, one shade of concealer was called bitch! I started looking around the store and found other scandalous names, just as I do in Sephora and other big makeup venues. Do you ever look on the bottom of lipstick colors? Mac sells "Tender Tryst," "Pervette" and "Velvet Teddy." How is a woman to feel beautiful and attractive without feeling so seductive? Why can't I feel beautiful without being a "bronze, velvety 'bitch'"?

What About the Little Ones?

I recently attended a dance recital for my boyfriend's 8 year-old niece. She was fabulously cute in her pretty pink and white ballerina outfit. However, the recital included the whole dance studio, ranging from little 5 year-olds to high school age girls. My boyfriend and I were outraged because in almost every single dance piece, young girls ages 10 to 16 were coming out scantily clad in fishnets, knee-high dance boots, and mid-drift tops (or slashed up leotards) and dancing to dirty rap music or trashy Britney Spears songs (yes, the trashy ones). I mean, just imagine your 10 year-old daughter in a ripped-up leotard that barely covers her chest, and exposes all the rest of her body except her intimate parts, dancing like a stripper complete with straddles and other seductive 'dance' moves, and you'll get the idea of what we witnessed.

Anyway, we were the only people who were outraged. Even the grandparents of the children teased us for being prudes and said, 'Well, that's just how they do things here.' My boyfriend promptly replied that he deals with cases putting men in jail for looking at pictures of girls dressed like that. We just could not believe that parents could allow their daughters to participate in this with a clear conscience. We vowed to each other never to let our future children to participate in a dance troupe like that.

Is it wrong to want your children to remain innocent in a world so inundated with sexuality? Why were my boyfriend and I (two twenty-somethings) the only people in an entire auditorium who found the recital offensive, not just to us, but to those girls?? Why would we want to over-sexualize our children, instead of nurturing them in love?

About the same time, I discovered that there were others out there who are outraged at stuff like this recital. I heard about the work of a beautiful mother named Marybeth Hicks. Marybeth Hicks writes about raising children in today's society. Her book, Bringing Up Geeks is acclaimed for its advice on how to bring up children as Genuine, Enthusiastic, Empowered Kids (hence *GEEKS*). She writes on how to combat what she calls the 'culture of cool,' or the media-saturated, hyper-sexualized culture we find ourselves in. And parents accept that culture. I call it the 'they're-gonna-do-it-anyway-so-as-long-as-they-do-it-under-my-supervision-it's-okay' attitude. I knew those parents, and they weren't mine, that's for sure. But everyone wanted to go to those kids' houses, because they had 'cool' parents who let them get drunk at their house.

Hicks seeks to promote 'innocence over exploitation.' What she emphasizes in her books is that she is not trying to raise prudes who really cannot handle the culture. It's important for kids to engage the world and the culture, but not to have to lose their innocence either. That's pretty hard to do, and something I want for my future children. I will definitely read what Hicks suggests when the time comes for me!! Here's an excerpt from the book, part of a longer one linked here.

Ever since Glenn Close boiled a bunny over her love for Michael Douglas in Fatal Attraction, I don’t go to scary movies with suspenseful soundtracks. It’s not that I stand on moral high ground. It’s that I stand in the lobby, where it’s safe. I don’t like to be made afraid recreationally.

On the other hand, my husband Jim enjoys frightening films so he occasionally goes with a buddy. One such night found Jim and his friend sitting in the theatre watching trailers for upcoming releases while waiting for the evening’s feature presentation to begin. Into the theatre walks the mother of one of our daughter’s classmates. Behind her is a group of 12-year-olds from Betsy’s seventh grade class, giggling excitedly and taking their seats as the theatre dims.

Just what film did my 40-something husband and a row of pre-pubescent middle schoolers enjoy together? Matrix Reloaded, starring Keanu Reeves – rated R. An online review service, www.screenit.com, says the movie is “heavy” in blood, gore, frightening and tense scenes, profanity, sex and nudity; and “extreme” in guns and weapons, violence, disrespectful or bad attitudes and scary or tense music.

My husband’s review: Uncomfortable. “I’m watching these graphic scenes, but the whole time it’s really awkward knowing Betsy’s friends are a few rows ahead of me. I felt like the girls should have covered their eyes,” he said. “Since they didn’t, I covered mine instead.”

What possible benefit could there have been in taking those girls to see a movie starring sex, violence, profanity, terror and gore?

Here’s a radical thought: Parents have the power to decide the content to which their children may be exposed through TV shows, movies, music and Internet sites, and these decisions help to either preserve or destroy childhood innocence.

Women of the East

I have already expressed to my sisters my great love for Our Holy Father. What I've never explained to you before is my great love for the people of the East, especially for the people of the Holy Land. And seriously, the women of the East -- how gorgeous are they!! And I think the veil, though controversial in today's society, can be so incredibly beautiful. One of my dear friends is a gorgeous Muslim woman from Lebanon who is just the most beautiful veiled woman. And she is happy to share with others her reasons for wearing the veil. I guess that's a conversation for another post...

I feel especially called to pray especially for the Muslims, Jews, and Christians in the Holy Land, and for peace in the Middle East and the surrounding regions. I myself will be spending the summer in North Africa (Tunisia) this summer studying the Arabic language and culture.

So, it should come as no surprise that I have been closely following Benedict XVI's trip to the Holy Land. I was so heartened by his Sunday homily (May 10) in Ammam, Jordan when the Holy Father highlighted the importance of women in reforming society. He explains:

The strong Christian families of these lands are a great legacy handed down from earlier generations. May today’s families be faithful to that impressive heritage, and never lack the material and moral assistance they need to carry out their irreplaceable role in service to society. An important aspect of your reflection during this Year of the Family has been the particular dignity, vocation and mission of women in God’s plan. How much the Church in these lands owes to the patient, loving and faithful witness of countless Christian mothers, religious Sisters, teachers, doctors and nurses! How much your society owes to all those women who in different and at times courageous ways have devoted their lives to building peace and fostering love! From the very first pages of the Bible, we see how man and woman, created in the image of God, are meant to complement one another as stewards of God’s gifts and partners in communicating his gift of life, both physical and spiritual, to our world. Sadly, this God-given dignity and role of women has not always been sufficiently understood and esteemed. The Church, and society as a whole, has come to realize how urgently we need what the late Pope John Paul II called the "prophetic charism" of women (cf. Mulieris Dignitatem, 29) as bearers of love, teachers of mercy and artisans of peace, bringing warmth and humanity to a world that all too often judges the value of a person by the cold criteria of usefulness and profit. By its public witness of respect for women, and its defence of the innate dignity of every human person, the Church in the Holy Land can make an important contribution to the advancement of a culture of true humanity and the building of the civilization of love.

Let us pray with the Holy Father for peace in the Holy Land, a peace that will be the foundation for 'building a civilization of love.' God bless the women of the East!

Photo found here.

In the Desert

How many of us have ever felt that our spiritual lives are simply in the desert? We can rejoice, because Our Lord has been there before. And EVERY SINGLE saint has been through it, and the purpose of all of our lives is to become saints. I know that I've been in a period of spiritual dryness, and I've found the best remedy - just praising God for His goodness. Sometimes, we can be so wrapped up in asking God to give us all we want that we don't have, but we sometimes we forget to just praise and thank God for what He does in fact do for us.

I've never been a huge fan of Christian pop music, though I'm not really sure why. I think because some of it can just be so cheesy and kitschy. I guess I'm the kind of girl who prefers a Latin hymn or a beautiful Bach piece when it comes to liturgical music. However, I've recently discovered the Christian music of Brooke Fraser Ligertwood. I know I've mentioned her before, but I wanted to share another song with you that has brought me some joy in my desert time. The song, aptly titled, is called 'Desert Song.' I love the lyrics, most especially the very last verse. Hope it brings you some peace!




Desert Song by Brooke (Fraser) Ligertwood

This is my prayer in the desert
When all that's within me feels dry
This is my prayer in my hunger and need
My God is the God who provides

This is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved
Of more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the flame

I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon formed against me shall remain
I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here

This is my prayer in the battle
When triumph is still on its way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I'll stand

All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship

This is my prayer in the harvest
When favor and providence flow
I know I'm filled to be emptied again
The seed I've received I will sow

Happy Birthday to Julian

To our dear sister, Julian, on the day of her birth and Mother's day. We pray dear Lord, that our sister will know Your love more fully this year, as Your servant Julian of Norwich wrote so often of Your Love. Bless our sister greatly, embrace her in Your most Holy and Sacred Heart. Give her Your joy and Your peace, fill her life with Your Light, and pour the oil of Your anointing out abundantly upon her. May she always be a mother to Your people, living her vocation to nurture Your children so that they may come to know You.

We pray the words of your servant Julian of Norwich today for our sister today:

And in the same sheweing sodenly the Trinite fullfilled the herte most of joy;
and so, I understood, it shall be in Hevyn withoute end to all that shall come
there. For the Trinite is God, God is the Trinite. The Trinite is our maker and
keeper, the Trinite is our everlasting lover, everlasting joy and blisse, be our
Lord Jesus Christ; and this was shewed in the first and in all, for where Jesus
appereith the blissid Trinite is understond, as to my sight. And I said, "Bene-
dicite, Domine."

Grant, Lord, that our sister will rejoice with You forever, exclaiming, "Benedicte, Domine!"

Happy birthday, Julian! Love always, Edith and Agatha

A Mother's Day Birthday

I'm going to be on the road this weekend, as it's my cousin's Confirmation and she's asked me to be her sponsor (boy, if she only knew how unworthy I feel to stand up there!). Anyway, tomorrow I'm going to be on the road, and my parents are on the road for another family member's college graduation, so I won't be able to be with my mother on Mother's Day. Now, every few years, my birthday falls on Mother's Day, and this year (25!) happens to be one of them.

As a child I always thought that by this age I would be three kids in...but while that hasn't happened yet, I am fully aware of the blessing that I have as a teacher to exercise my "spiritual motherhood" with 100 beautiful "daughters" a year.

This year though, I'm particularly aware of my relationsip with my own mother. Our relationship has been anything but easy, but as we both grow older, our connection is deepening and our understanding of the other as a complex, unique, and beautiful woman is growing. I am so blessed to share this day with my mother, and even though we'll be apart, I'm know that a mother's love surpasses proximity to her children.

I am so grateful for the gift of life. Thanks, Mom!