Yesterday I received a message on Facebook from a girl I knew in high school, asking me to be in her wedding. Now, mind you, I knew her for one year (she was a transfer student), and my family was good and kind to her in offering transportation when she needed it. However, we weren't all that close beyond being teammates, and we certainly haven't kept in touch at all over the past decade...actually we haven't been in touch at all except when I accepted her "friend" request. So to be asked to be IN her wedding is a little weird, right? How do I respond to such a request? She has not told me the date of the wedding, so I can't say that I'm busy (also, I realize that white lies might not fly on a Catholic blog, and for good reason). But what would one say?
September 25, 2010
Really?
As evidenced by recent posts ( or the lack of posts) on my end, things have been busy for me. I won't rehash or walk you through the past few weeks, but I will indulge you with one crazy request that has been added to the pile. I need your advice!
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5 comments:
Even if this were your best friend in the world, how could you answer yes without knowing the date? You can't commit when you don't know what you're committing to.
As it is, this person is asking a lot (being in a wedding is a huge investment financially, emotionally, etc.) and you're not that close.
The answer is clear: decline.
I would say no, no way! nooooo way
I am honored by this, and thank you. But I can not accept this honor, because I could not give you the attention you deserve as a bride.
There is no need for explanations and excuses. You can make it clear that you are touched by the offer and are truly happy for her and her fiancé.
I think Agatha Magdalene is on the right track there. How about simply saying "I'm truly sorry, but I can't afford the outlay in terms of my time or my finances at this point."
This may also be a moment to reach out to her--why is she asking you to be in her wedding party? Doesn't she have any close friends? It may be a worrying note that she has to reach so far back in her past to find someone she thinks would support her in this wedding. I would decline on the fact that you really haven't kept up with her life (while mentioning that you feel honored), but definitely ask how she is, how she met this guy, if she's excited about the wedding, if there are people supporting her, etc., as a follow-up.
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