The Magdalene Sisters

Good Reading for 9/11 and Beyond

2011-09-11T21:36:00.001-04:00

A Linkfest, courtesy of The Anchoress.

GG

2011-09-06T20:07:00.001-04:00

If there is one show that I could (and do watch) on repeat, it's Gilmore Girls. Anyone else? I NEVER get tired of running through the seasons. :)

Tennis and the Priesthood

2011-09-03T09:01:00.000-04:00

This article was just too fun not to post!

"Dear friends..."

2011-08-29T08:20:00.005-04:00

"Dear friends, may no adversity paralyze you. Be neither afraid of the world, nor of the future, nor of your weakness." -- The Holy Father on Saturday, August 20, 2011.

As I wrote before, I had the privilege and blessing of attending World Youth Day, or Jornada Mundial de la Juventud, in Madrid, Spain. When I was there I was aware that it was a privilege and blessing, although the fruits for my own life seemed far from evident. Along with three colleagues and friends, I was responsible for the safety of 26 of our school's best, brightest, and most beautiful girls. I knew it was going to be a window into parenthood in the first few hours: flying passports, scattered medications, queasiness, uneasiness, and forgetfulness were abounding. This is all of course not to mention the spiritual questions that were directed to us: Why should I believe in this Jesus Christ? What if I doubt God's love? How do you know your vocation? Why is there so much suffering? And of course, there were constant fears on my behalf: Are we safe? Is anyone being pickpocketed? Is this girl going to pass out? Is another Italian teenage boy going to try to kiss my dear student?

At one point I turned to our school's priest and my dear friend and said, "Are you praying for me? I'm praying for you." And he said, "Dear, this whole trip is the prayer. The getting up early, the walking, the exhaustion." And that was enough for me to table any plan to have a spiritual experience of my own.

And yet, in His goodness, the Lord gave me a beautiful experience on Saturday night. The Vigil with the Holy Father was ushered in by a massive wind storm that kicked up dust in our eyes. Lightning threatened us every 30 seconds. Rain came in torrents. And yet, the Holy Father continued on, and gave us 20 minutes or so of adoration. In the chaos of the storm, in the sea of 2 million people, the airfield went quiet. And though I only had about 60 seconds to adore Our Lord until someone needed something, I was able to be present to the Lord and He to me, as if we were the only two people there. As the Holy Father urged us to not be afraid of those three things mentioned above -- the world, my fears, and my weaknesses -- I felt that God was speaking directly to my heart. In a moment when all was stormy outside and even inside, all went calm. I have never experienced such a communion before. And I don't know if I will again. But that 60 seconds was more than enough. And its graces are producing bushels of fruit in my life right now, and I'm sure that will continue to in the months to come.

I hope that you, readers, are experiencing graces, as I offered the chaos up for you!

The State of Marriage + the Family

2011-08-19T10:18:00.003-04:00

Point:

The Two-Minus One Pregnancy (New York Times)
Meet the Co-Parents: Friends not Lovers & their children (Telegraph)

Counter Point:

This was grace - short film from Andrew Laparra on Vimeo.

Julian's Update

2011-08-12T09:46:00.002-04:00

This summer has flown by. I only have a few updates, but I think they are worth noting for upcoming conversations:

1. I spent late spring and most of summer dating a boy-man (although I didn't know he was a boy-man at the outset). And I just ended things with the boy-man. *Note to boy-men: if you do not intend to pursue a woman romantically, but only platonically, please do not kiss her every time you see her, bring her gifts from your travels, and engage in a daily conversation with her. She's going to think you like her as more than friends.

2. God's grace has been abundant in my life. Last week's Sunday homily was about seeking God in "the storm" (the reading was about Peter on the boat in the storm). The priest said simply, "If you look for God in the storm, you'll find Him. If you don't, you won't." It's been immensely helpful. I'm getting amazing things from Scripture every time I pray with it. Our Lord is so good and generous in giving us words when we don't have them.

3. I'm off to Spain with 26 students and 3 colleagues for World Youth Day! Please pray for our safety and for the openness of all of our hearts to Christ's call for us. I will keep you all in my prayers and sacrifices.

All for now. Keep on keepin' on.

-Jules

Summer Jams

2011-08-01T18:16:00.004-04:00

Here are a few songs on "repeat" on my playlist. I hope you enjoy them. They are fun to cruise around with the windows down in this summer heat!

The Feast of St. Martha

2011-07-29T12:18:00.003-04:00

While there is some debate as to whether Mary Magdalene is the same as Mary-the-sister-of-Martha-and-Lazarus, I don't think there is any debate in the minds of women struggling to walk with Christ that Magdalene and Martha are two of the great examples of womanly virtue in the Gospels and in all of Christianity.

Since today is here feast, I wanted to share a quick meditation on St. Martha by one of my favorite Catholic bloggers, Julie Davis of Happy Catholic, from her bi-weekly column on Patheos:

We see again how familiar and friendly Martha is with Jesus. As before, she goes to him with a forthright complaint. She shows great confidence and trust in saying that she is disappointed that he didn't save her brother.

Martha also shows that she possesses great faith and understanding in unmistakable terms: "I have come to believe that you are the Messiah, the Son of God, the one who is coming into the world." What an incredible moment that must have been between Jesus and Martha. Martha has come a long way, never losing her focus on Christ even in her grief.

Yet, after such a moment, she also doesn't forget her sister, Mary, who is still at home mourning.

Martha is both loving and practical to the bone. We have an unmistakable example of that practicality when Jesus is getting ready to raise Lazarus from the dead.

A Matter of Convenience

2011-07-28T07:11:00.008-04:00

A reader emailed us with the following prompt:

My sister and good friend have come to the conclusion that even
if you meet a guy who likes you and it's reasonable to date, if it's not
super convenient they won't go for it. It's become all about convenience
and what's easy.

She also added these examples:

The guy regularly wants to "hang out" but isn't actively pursuing obvious dates.
Wants to meet at a designated place instead of picking you up.
Continues to contact you via text message instead of calling you.

All in all she concluded that to move from casually contacting to seriously dating a woman makes demands on a man to mature and to open himself to another person. Both of these things are challenging, can be uncomfortable, open one up to vulnerability and, quite frankly, create an investment of his time, money, and schedule that can look quite scary.

As lonely as it can be sometimes, the single life can be quite convenient. Your time is your own, your resources are at your own disposal, and you can decide when and where to give of yourself, be present to and with others, and only really risk love or rejection when you feel ready.

My own thoughts on this are complex and contradictory. On the one hand, I have experienced the examples our reader posed on numerous occasions, and I even had to find the courage to talk to a man who was casually contacting me to ask what his intentions were. In this case, I risked rejection when I said that I had feelings for him, while he was just content to casually keep texting and "hanging out," and had no intention of exclusively dating me. Other men have responded when I've asked them to move from texting to calling me, and really just did not know any better that this is what a woman wants. I blame that one on technology feeding our laziness, or just becoming normative. However, if a guy (or a girl, for that matter), is disciplined in virtue (which is far from convenient) in little things, he or she can easily say "yes" to inconvenience in other things, like relationships.

But on the other hand, a dear friend of mine told me a few months ago that it was only after meeting a certain woman that he "knew what it meant to be a man," and that this woman, by her very existence, made him want to be everything a man should be. He suddenly realized that the right woman made him want to move beyond his own wants and desires. He did the most inconvenient thing: picked up and moved across the country to be with her and find a job to provide for her, as he was so convicted about wanting to care for her. So, maybe it is that it's just wrong until you meet the right person. Maybe we aren't the right woman for him (and he is not the right man) if he's not working for it. And that, readers, is just an inconvenient truth.

Feast of Our Patroness

2011-07-22T13:33:00.002-04:00

Happy Feast of Mary Magdalene. May she continue to bless us sisters, our readers, and our families!

Photo from the cover of this month's Magnificat. Found here.

Oh My Goodness. Do I Like Clothes or What?

2011-07-21T18:47:00.003-04:00

So, I went to the mall today to look at shoes for my upcoming trip to Spain, where I'll be walking countless kilometers through Madrid for World Youth Day, and of course I got completely sidetracked and distracted by the a-dorable clothes in the windows of all of the stores. I love the upcoming fall fashions: ponchos, long dresses, and yes, even faux fur (in moderation, of course!). But the question still remains: do I need them?

The answer still remains no. When I brushed by the mannequins, I remembered my niece, my goddaughter, my parents, my students, my desire to explore photography, the homeless person on the bridge that I drive every morning, and of course, Mother Church. And I remembered that virtue is hard. That is means saying no to yourself in simple and in grave matters. It's forged in the day to day activities of our lives.

I still need to address generosity with my time. I still need to look at purity of heart, pride, and a lack of discipline. But for now, I'm able to look at beautiful clothing and think of other people. And today was a big step in moving in the direction I'd like to be in.

On Being More Generous

2011-07-05T15:02:00.002-04:00

Summer affords me extra time for reflection, which can be both therapeutic and totally overwhelming for me. I look up close at the parts of my life that need organization, discipline, and well, to be spruced up. With any close examination of the self comes cringing at what is made visible. In any event, it's been becoming increasingly clear to me that as a single person, the virtue of generosity is one that I need to particularly strengthen. (This is not to say that single people are not generous -- it is truly a pointed commentary on myself at this moment in my life, and I happen to be single).

As Christians we're called to be generous with our time, talent, and treasure. I'd like to think I have the talent portion covered, in that I try to exhaust myself in my vocation as a teacher both inside and outside of the classroom, and well beyond any boundaries set by the school calendar. Of course there is always room to improve in that area, but for now, I'm going to table the "talent" portion of this venture.

Generosity with time. In order to be more generous with my time, I need to be disciplined with the use of my time. This means that first and foremost, I must stick to a prayer schedule. While of course this schedule must be flexible to meet the demands of the present moment, it also should be rigorously adhered to. Giving time to God seems like the first logical step in the process. But if I think seriously about my life on any given day, I could gain back significant time if I monitored how long I spend perusing the internet or flipping through channels on the tube. Even if I tell myself it will only be for a moment, I inevitably lose precious moments that could be better used in the service of my vocation, my family, or my friends. It's quite simple, and demands my full attention and will. Purposeful internet use and leisure time involving the television is something I'd like to incorporate into my daily schedule.

Generosity with treasure. Well, I always joke about working as a teacher and that while we don't get paid in monetary means, I do get paid in other ways. In reality though, if I think about what I'm called to spend my money on (and who it should be spent on), I could easily cringe at careless spending on myself that could be better used (and even better used for things that I actually need rather than want). In an effort to kick this generosity into gear, I've decided to take a pledge, and I ask my sisters to hold me accountable. As of today, July 5, 2011, I will not buy myself clothing or accessories for one full calendar year. (I realize moms who have children are used to such sacrifices and might laugh at this!) Now, there are some notable exceptions that are necessities: I am in desperate need of running sneakers, socks of all sorts, and in the fall I will need to replace some worn out shoes. But, I am not in need of clothing for work or for leisure. I realize that for someone who likes to shop, likes to look fashionable, and works in an environment in which my image is (unfortunately) part of the way into keeping students interested, this is going to be challenging. But in reality, it's absolutely necessary in order for me to be more generous with my money. I'm really excited about the challenge and will be prayerful about what it will do for myself and for others. Thanks in advance for your encouragement, and for pointing out when I've got to sew back on a button or fix a hem!

The Wisdom of Mrs. Fischer

2011-06-29T09:04:00.001-04:00

Oh boy oh boy oh boy do I love Simcha Fishcer. She blogs. She writes for the National Catholic Register. She raises a troupe of kids. She wears pants. I'd like to give some sort of caveat, like: "I don't always agree with her, but I find her compelling" but the truth is, I usually do agree with her, and don't find her compelling, I find her hilarious and filled with common sense. Like:

+ Also, some men never think twice about marriage or babies until they find themselves 90% of the way there with the right woman—and then they step up and amaze everyone. So what you see when you’re dating is not necessarily exactly the same as what you’ll get when you’re married. And man and women grow and improve during the life of a marriage, too. The truth is, it’s kind of a crap shoot. We can make reasonable choices, but much about relationships is unpredictable... --Should I Marry Him

+ "I’m not, as I mentioned, especially hung up on men opening doors, specifically. But the idea that men do some special things for women, and women do some special things for men—sounds like a plan to make life tolerable." --The Art of Getting Hysterical About Gender

+ "Poverty saves you from foolish expenditures (unless you’re foolish enough to go into debt over things you don’t need): never once have we tasted the bitterness of buyer’s remorse as we survey the bill for the wrong kind of premium cell phone, useless time share condo, regrettable L-shaped leather couch in sea foam green, or one of those luxury alligators. Thanks, poverty!" --The Blessings of Poverty

+ "Only people with a mental illness would truly believe that you can achieve anything. People who actually get things done are the people who look at themselves and say, “Okey-doke. There are some things I’m good at, and many thousands more things that I am and always will be utterly unqualified to do. Starting tomorrow, my job is do the least amount of thrashing around and wasting of my parent’s tuition money as possible, while I figure out the difference between my very few strengths and my billions of weaknesses.

"'Then, I need to figure out if there’s any possible way I can do what it turns out I’m good at, and also be a decent human being. If possible, it would be wonderful if the things I’m good at, and which allow me to be decent, are also things which will earn me a salary.'

"And after you have that conversation with yourself, and preferably after you come up with a better plan than scrawling “FIX LIFE” on your memo pad, then you can go out drinking with your buddies.

"Because here’s the deal, you poor deluded masses of inchoate ambition: Freedom is for something." --My Dear Graduates

And don't miss a jewel of a piece, which is so fitting for us at TMS, What is a Catholic Feminist?

The Heart of the Matter

2011-06-28T08:49:00.004-04:00

Agatha and I had a great discussion on Sunday night. Well, we have great discussions most nights. But the topic of this one turned to the topic of the heart and how various women understand how they are to guard it from or give it to a man. Naturally, as with all matters like this one, we didn't come to a resolution, but we did arrive at various insights from examining our own hearts and those of women we know.

The extremes:

1. "Hi, my name is ______. Here is my heart! Here is all of me!" I think some women tend to go all in when meeting someone. There is a natural desire for women to be SEEN. "See me. Accept me. Love me." We want to be viewed in full and accepted as is. Why risk spending time with someone or investing in someone if he's not going to love the most important parts of you? These types of thoughts feed into a natural inclination to disclose parts of our heart that are the deepest so as test a man's fight or flight instinct with us.

The pros of this? There is a real openness to dialogue and a willingness to be vulnerable. The negatives? You're asking too much too fast, risking significant rejection, and failing to help a man grow in the masculine virtue of working to earn your heart.

2. "Hi, my name is _____. That's all you're going to get from me." Some women completely close their hearts off from men. The reasons vary: vulnerability is the scariest thing in the world; previous relationships have left scars; we carry an idealistic sense that men need to fight these huge battles to win us. This is without mentioning that the art of flirting and the art of opening up is very difficult to master!

The pros? Hearts should be guarded. They are our most precious gift, and should only be given to men that we understand to be worthy to view them. The cons? We can easily set up these impossible gauntlets for men to run through in order to get a peak into our hearts, and by that time, if they actually get through the maze, they might just be too exhausted to continue.

The suggestion:

Agatha and I did agree that the virtue of chastity is a good model to follow in terms of revealing one's heart (and this goes for men, too!). Chastity is not abstinence, but is also does not clearly permit anything to be fair game. As one grows more intimate with someone at various stages of a relationship, one measures out appropriate gestures to indicate that growth. Likewise, a woman need not give her heart to a boyfriend in the way she would to a fiance, or a fiancé in the way she will in marriage twenty years down the road. There is growth and an ever-deepening revelation to be done.

If I Had a Million Dollars...

2011-06-22T22:06:00.003-04:00

Well, you don't need a million dollars to get these fun summer trends. But you do need a few. But only a few! Agatha and I were talking about how much we love staying fashionable for a cheap buck. Here are a few suggestions to stay cool, stylish, and modest all at once:

1. The Maxi Dress: I just picked up two at T.J. Maxx for a combined total of $40. One was a brand I'd' never heard of, but another was Max Studio. Both are adorable, very comfortable -- and as always with loose material that is somewhat structured -- flattering.

2. Bandeaus: Sometimes tank tops under dresses or other shirts are cumbersome, hot, and leave lines. I'm a huge fan of these easy layering pieces and picked up a few at Nordstrom. They're also available at Macy's and Target.

3. Wrap-around scarves. I love this trend, because sometimes you want some color around your neck, but a necklace just won't work. Regular winter and fall scarves are hard to arrange with summer fabrics (I think I've officially lost our male readers at this point). My suggestion is the Junior Department at Nordstrom and Ann Taylor Loft (educators get a 15% discount!)

Happy Summer Shopping!!!

Father's Day

2011-06-19T08:40:00.004-04:00

Father's Day is a wonderful day to remember our dads and to thank them for all that they've given us. The Magdalene Sisters have been especially formed in our femininity by the attentiveness, gentleness, and at times real, tough love of our own fathers. I'd bet that Agatha and Edith would agree that to make it as a lay, Catholic, and modern woman in this world, a solid relationship with your father (or a father-figure) is a key ingredient, or at least, is something that can only help you navigate this life.

It seems to me that this is only so because a woman must be tenderly reminded of her beauty, worth, and gifts that have been given to her by her heavenly Father, and a dad who is able to model that love, as best he can, is a great mirror of what a filial relationship with God looks like. There is so much I owe to my own dad, who not explicitly with words of faith or theology, but instead with human virtue, showed me that I am good, beautiful, and a prize to be won. (In fact, my dad often used quotes from The Godfather to convey this, telling me that I "am the hunted one," in terms of being pursed by men instead of doing the pursuing, which is a reference to a character who feels he is going to be gunned down. Oh well. It worked!)

A father or a father-figure is a gift in modeling for us our adoption as sons and daughters of God, which Christ ultimately gives us.

Do not let your hearts be troubled. You have faith in God; have faith also in me. In my Father's house there are many dwelling places. If there were not, would I have told you that I am going to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back again and take you to myself, so that where I am you also may be. Where I am going, you know the way. I will not leave you orphans.

Jn. 14:1-3; 14-18

Happy Father's Day to all of our fathers, priestly fathers, and men who have convinced us that we are daughters of God!

Crushin'

2011-05-22T07:45:00.004-04:00

My students readily laugh at me, and for good reason. The other day we were reading an essay by Gilbert Meilander entitled, "I Want to Burden My Loved Ones," on the question of advanced directives. One sentence just particularly jumped out at me as I was reading aloud to them, and I said, "Do you see now, ladies, why I have a 'brain crush' on this man?" My students all nodded in agreement, and one girl also exclaimed that she, too, was smitten.

To any observer of my classroom, the term "brain crush" might seem like an odd phrase. But for my part in my classroom, I have designated various types of "crushes" that I have.

1 . The brain crush. An obvious admiration for someone's intellect, philosophy, or ability to craft words in a way that rouse the mind and touch the heart. Such examples are: Aristotle, C.S. Lewis, Father Richard Neuhaus, Karol Wojtyla, Pope Benedict XVI, Gilbert Meilander, Charles Krauthammer, and Helen Alvare. My students are well-versed in my "BC's" as we now collectively call them, and I'm proud that we now share some.

2. The spiritual crush. An affinity for another person's spirituality, devotion, or relationship with Our Lord. These crushes manifest themselves in person's writing as well as dispositions in contemplation and action. St. John of the Cross, Jean-Pierre de Caussade, Elizabeth Leseur, Mother Teresa, Caryll Houselander all come to mind. However, three priests from my undergraduate institution come to mind, as well as a priest who I work with, the two Magdalene Sisters, and a dear mentor in Opus Dei. My crushes here are numerous, but never fickle.

3. The girl crush. The recognition of the feminine genius manifested in another woman. I have a "girl crush" on all of the women who I work with in the Art of Being a Woman, my godmother's mother, 4 colleagues, my friend from college who is a Dominican sister, my mother, a friend with an ill husband, and even some of my students. Each incarnates gentle strength and beauty in a unique way, and I can only dream of partially reflecting their light. Oh, the Magdalene Sisters go here, too.

4. The real crush. I don't need to define this. And I won't give away who mine are, just yet. :)

Who do you "crush" on?

It's Been Awhile

2011-05-14T18:54:00.004-04:00

Well, as I told Agatha the other day on my porch, it's been awhile since I've posted. I could blame work: stacks of grading just keep getting bigger. I could blame my social life: it's been filled with coffee dates, drink dates, softball games, and work outings. I could blame any number of things. But really, I just have wanted to process my life in silence.

When we started this blog, nearly three years ago, I was just entering the "real world" after graduating with a Master's degree. There was so much to navigate: living in a new city, dating (and oh how funny those stories were), figuring out what a single life was supposed to look like, learning how to deal with bosses and colleagues, and so much more.

But now, as I get older, some of those experiences have given me answers to the questions I was previously asking, so I'm not really asking them anymore! Sure, I'm still single, but more mature and settled in my adulthood. I am still at the same job, but confident in how I have been deepening my experiences there and growing as a teacher and woman in Christ.

After a silent retreat earlier this year, I've begun to wonder whether or not to publicly process my intimate thoughts here. To be sure, I'm taken much more to prayer, and so maybe that is why I have been silent.

So, time will tell whether or not I get chatty on here again. For the time being, I keep you in my prayers!

Loves by Scott Cairns

2011-05-13T08:32:00.000-04:00

I was introduced to the poet Scott Cairns by a friend and classmate of Julian's who is undergoing a dangerous surgery today. We'd love it, if you can, to say a quick prayer for him, his wife, his surgeons, and his family.

Magdalen’s Epistle
from Loves by Scott Cairns (via)

Of Love’s discrete occasions, we
observe sufficient catalogue,
a likely-sounding lexicon

pronounced so as to implicate
a wealth of difference, where reclines
instead a common element,

itself quite like those elements
partaken at the table served
by Jesus on the night he was

betrayed—like those in that the bread
was breakable, the wine was red
and wet, and met the tongue with bright,

intoxicating sweetness, quite
like ... wine. None of what I write arrives
to compromise that sacrament,

the mystery of spirit graved
in what is commonplace and plain—
the broken, brittle crust, the cup.

Quite otherwise, I choose instead
to bear again the news that each,
each was still itself, substantial

in the simplest sense. By now, you
will have learned of Magdalen, a name
recalled for having won a touch

of favor from the one we call
the son of man, and what you’ve heard
is true enough. I met him first

as, mute, he scribbled in the dust
to shame some village hypocrites
toward leaving me unbloodied,

if ill-disposed to taking up
again a prior circumstance.
I met him in the house of one

who was a Pharisee and not
prepared to suffer quietly
my handling of the master’s feet.

Much later, in the garden when,
having died and risen, he spoke
as to a maid and asked me why

I wept. When, at any meeting
with the Christ, was I not weeping?
For what? I only speculate

—brief inability to speak,
a weak and giddy troubling near
the throat, a wash of gratitude.

And early on, I think, some slight
abiding sense of shame, a sop
I have inferred more recently

to do without. Lush poverty!
I think that this is what I’m called
to say, this mild exhortation

that one should still abide all love’s
embarrassments, and so resist
the new temptation—dangerous,

inexpedient mask—of shame.
And, well, perhaps one other thing:
I have received some little bit

about the glib divisions which
so lately have occurred to you
as right, as necessary, fit

That the body is something less
than honorable, say, in its
... appetites? That the spirit is

something pure, and—if all goes well—
potentially unencumbered
by the body’s bawdy tastes.

This disposition, then, has led
to a banal and pious lack
of charity, and, worse, has led

more than a few to attempt some
soul-preserving severance—harsh
mortifications, manglings, all

manner of ritual excision
lately undertaken to prevent
the body’s claim upon the heart,

or mind, or (blasphemy!) spirit—
whatever name you fix upon
the supposéd bodiless.

I fear that you presume—dissecting
the person unto something less
complex. I think that you forget

you are not Greek. I think that you
forget the very issue which
induced the Christ to take on flesh.

All loves are bodily, require
that the lips part, and press their trace
of secrecy upon the one

beloved—the one, or many, endless
array whose aspects turn to face
the one who calls, the one whose choice

it was one day to lift my own
bruised body from the dust, where, it seems
to me, I must have met my death,

thereafter, this subsequent life
and late disinclination toward
simple reductions in the name

of Jesus, whose image I work
daily to retain. I have kissed
his feet. I have looked long

into the trouble of his face,
and met, in that intersection,
the sacred place—where body

and spirit both abide, both yield,
in mutual obsession. Yes,
if you’ll recall your Hebrew word.

just long enough to glimpse in its
dense figure power to produce
you’ll see as well the damage Greek

has wrought upon your tongue, stolen
from your sense of what is holy,
wholly good, fully animal—

the body which he now prepares.

Linkfest

2011-05-11T11:08:00.006-04:00

I've got a whole pile of links waiting to be posted, so here you go:

Neat analysis of the first of Titian's famous Noli Me Tangere (above) paintings shows that originally Christ was dressed as a gardener, and his back was turned to Magdalene. Read more here.

It was once looked down upon to have a career. Then it was bad to not have a career and have lots of kids. What are we supposed to think anymore? Virginia Postrel discusses this in the WSJ. Related: Is the male-female wage gap a myth? (via First Things)

We've quoted and discussed much of Kay Hynowitz's work before. Here's a interesting interview from earlier this spring about her controversial new book Manning Up: How the Rise of Women Turned Men into Boys. Related: Read her WSJ excerpt from the book.

Don't blame Ambercrombie if your girls dressing sluttily. The blame starts with the parents who fund them. So argues Pia de Solenni. And while I tend to agree, I don't think they really account enough for the profound influence of advertising and peer pressure. Related: One-third of clothes marketed to young girls are "sexy" according to a Kenyon College Study (via The Atlantic).

Since we've all been a bridesmaid way way way too many times, I wanted to suggest to you ladies this cool new service from bridesmaid company Dessy. Called New Maid you can send in your old bridesmaid dresses, and they will give you a coupon for 30% to 50% off one of their lovely LBDs. Which you really can wear again.

James Matthew Wilson has some thoughts on college administrations counseling students to live chastely.

And, after all that heavy stuff, here's a little fun via the webcomic xkcd:

Happy Birthday Jules!

2011-05-10T13:40:00.003-04:00

Source: wetbehindthears.com via Joy on Pinterest

I wish I had something clever to say for your birthday. Let it be simply known that you never fail in generoisty of friendship, we can always count on your prayers, your support, your love. And we're not really sure how we were so lucky to get a friend like you!

--Agatha and Edith

Book Review: How to Get to I Do by Amy Bonaccorso

2011-05-03T07:00:00.000-04:00

With all the glory and beauty of the royal wedding fresh on our brains, there seems no better time to share with you the latest book on dating and marriage on my shelf. Amy Bonaccorso's How to Get to I Do: A Dating Guide of Catholic Women published by Servant Books is a must-read for our Catholic sisters or any of our sisters who are seeking a God-centered marriage to a good man. I knew as soon as I saw the very name “Bonaccorso” that I would be in for a treat. Although my Italian is rusty, my training in Latin reminds me that "bona‟ means good and "corso‟ means way – so I felt confident that her words would be a "good way‟ to follow. And she did not disappoint, after all she successfully navigated the crazy dating world in DC!

Amy writes a witty, humorous, and very honest how-to guide for young women who are nearly in despair as they face the increasingly insane (and oftentimes seriously scary) world of dating – including Catholic dating. The book is different from other Catholic dating books because it is more realistic, modern, and often has little sections from her husband weighing in with a male voice, which is always helpful for us ladies who are constantly wondering what the men we fall for are thinking! She reminds us that to find a good man, we need to involve ourselves in social situations that will attract them like joining faith-based groups, practicing the hobbies and activities you love, and having no fear to be yourself. She encourages women to be hopeful and courageous, after all God does not want you to be a doormat for men to walk all over (see page 112 for Amy‟s take!)

Bonaccorso starts with an interesting distinction between "dating‟ and "courtship.‟ We often hear courtship praised by many of our Catholic and non-Catholic Christian compatriots as the only redeemable way to meet your future spouse. After all, isn't dating for the promiscuous, secular world? I've even heard that if you don't have sex after the third date, a man will dump you. Why should he pay for all those dinners and not get something in return? Isn't that the dating mentality? Mrs. Bonaccorso doesn't think so (that's right, she's a recent Mrs. who wrote this book to let us all know the secrets that do in fact work in finding Mr. Fabulous!) And for the record, I don‟t think dating necessarily promotes promiscuity either, but it can be tough and discouraging to see so many men who do and who seem to expect sex in return for dinner (seriously, I've met that guy).

What Amy does not like about the courtship mentality is that it often relies on fathers to choose what man they should marry regardless of her age. According to Bonaccorso, this simply is not realistic: “A thirty-five-year-old professional woman has every right to ask her father‟s opinion about a man, but she has no business asking to him to manage her relationships for her.” (p. 7)

Although I am still unsure on the actual distinction that Amy is making between "dating‟ and "courtship‟ I think I can see the point here: the courtship mentality, at least in my experience, can sometimes lead to an over-idealistic and often time unrealistic view of marriage that can actual destroy a relationship because of unfulfilled (and unfulfillable) expectations. But she is adamant that your family and friends should have no objections to your potential spouse and that he should be incorporated in your social circles of friends and family and vice versa. After all, if he isolates you from those who love you, that is a major red flag and you should run away as fast as you possibly can.

Amy also gives touches on some subjects that we don't think about don't like to think about, like: don't be afraid to attack the issue of finances with a future spouse. What's your debt and his? What would it be combined? What's your plan for paying it off? Let's be honest, many marriages end tragically because of financial struggles. She minces no words: you must be assertive in asking your future spouse about this aspect of your lives. I could not agree more. When I was engaged (and thank God I did not get married!) I found out only weeks before the intended marriage that Peter had very staggering debt. If we had married – that would have ruined our combined credit and set us up for a lifetime of hardship (not to mention the fact that he was not honest about it in the first place!)

So much of Amy's book resonated with me – even at times bringing me to tears. For example, she tells us to beware of certain "types‟ of men who prey on good women like "the dream weaver‟ who is hypersensitive, always makes you feel like you need to walk on eggshells, or seems mentally unstable. (Could she have described my ex-fiance any more accurately?) She warns of deceptive men who pretend to respect and uphold your chastity but actually seek to break you down. She experienced them and so have we. But Amy hopes that by following her advice we can recognize these ones before becoming emotionally invested. If only I'd read this earlier…

One slightly peculiar note about Bonaccorso's advice is her positive endorsement of the online dating world. Since she met her husband this way, I suppose she should certainly feel positive about it. She writes, “Online dating is the new equalizer. All are equal in cyber space: men and women, introverts and extroverts, and people from different geographic locations. Online dating makes it possible to become acquainted with individuals you never could have met otherwise.” (p.20) Amy was so insistent that the positives outweigh the negatives of online dating, that I actually tried one for a month, but was only contacted by very old men and very strange age-appropriate ones. One of them with a very scary picture sent me a message that read only “Marry me now.” Totally weird. But Amy's experience was very different and I am sure that if I tried it for a longer duration, I may have found a diamond in the rough. But for now, I am satisfied with the traditional ways of meeting people, which Bonaccorso also covers extensively.

In the final sections of the book, Amy gives advice to the newly-engaged and marriage-preparing couples. I really appreciated her take on co-habitating since so many of our generation (so frustratingly) seem to think this is a necessary pre-engagement transition. Not so! “Don't allow the pride of some co-habitating couples to sway you. Remember that people who themselves cohabitate will secretly admire your strength for living independently.” (p. 137) Bravo! She admonishes brides not to become selfish Bridezillas who think the day revolves around them. It does not. It involves not only your husband-to-be (yep, remember him?), but your families and the entire Mystical Body of Christ. We need to treat the day as such, and moreover, treat the marriage as such as!

In short, I found How to Get to I Do an engaging read with advice I wish I had earlier and am relieved and excited to have now as I re-enter the dating world stronger, wiser, and more confident about who I am and what I want. Get yourself a copy and then get one for a friend, and be confident that Bonaccorso's wise words will indeed lead you on the "good way‟ to finding your good man.

Oh That Royal Wedding

2011-04-29T18:15:00.011-04:00

Like most women, we Magdalenes dream of weddings. And with 1/3 of the world, we too woke up and watched the glorious ceremony of Kate Middleton and Prince William. And it was beautiful, from the smiles to the music to the hats (well, Princess Beatrice's aside) and of course that unbelievably gorgeous, iconic dress (or dresses if you count the one she wore at her reception). Her veil and tiara were utterly stunning.

It really was a beautiful wedding and you could sense the glorious joy for the bride and groom that was shared all over the world. Little tidbits I loved? How Prince Harry looked back at Kate when she arrived with her father at the Abbey and gave his brother an update ("Wait until you see her!", he purportedly whispered.) Then Prince William, beaming when he saw her whispered, "You look beautiful." And indeed she did. I also loved how he had some trouble putting the ring on her finger and if you notice, he was rubbing her finger afterward to make sure she was ok. That was sweet. And who could forget Kate's "Wow" when she saw the millions outside Buckingham Palace to see her and William? And the royal kiss - I did not care about that so much as the William's bashful, rouge-faced smile and Kate's smiling nose scrunch afterward.

I also loved the icons of Christ Pantocrator and I think Our Lady of Perpetual Help. Who thought you'd see that in Westminster Abbey? I was surprised at how much I actually liked the homily, address, and reading chosen by the couple. And I realized how much I really like the language used in the Anglican liturgy (for example, the word 'betwixt' is awesome.) But I admit, as soon as I heard the "Dearly beloved we are gathered here in the sight of God and this congregation," all I could think about was the last scene (double wedding) in the Firth/Ehle version of Pride and Prejudice. Call me cheesy, but it's the truth.

To those haters who said they could care less about the wedding, I reply that Britain really needed the patriotic boost and given all the insanity of the world today, who could help it but rejoice with this lovely couple? However, there is one thing that has been bugging me about the whole thing. Call me old fashioned, but Kate and William openly lived together for the last four years. And I think that is a scandal. What's more is that Grandma Queen Elizabeth ok'ed it (and footed the bill, which probably means that British tax dollars actually paid for it) And Archbishop of York Dr. John Sentamu also backed this decision, saying:

"We are living at a time where some people, as my daughter used to say, they want to test whether the milk is good before they buy the cow,” he said. “For some people that’s where their journeys are.

Yep, he really said it. How sad. Given the fact that Diana needed to have her virginity confirmed (and call me a crazy feminist, but I think this terrible too), it seems crazy that Grandma Elizabeth allowed and was complicit in William and Kate playing house. I am certain that the all-too-proper Queen Victoria at least was rolling in her grave.

Why does this bother me so much? Well, I came across this article by Anne Morse who reminds us about that nagging little fact that couples who cohabitate are 2/3 more likely to divorce than those who do not. And given the rocky record of William's parents, no one wants to see another nasty break up. However, it is quite evident that the couple care deeply for each other, and if they follow the advice given to them in one of their ceremony addresses about sacrificial love and seeking Christ in their marriage, then I am hopeful that we will not see an ugly divorce.

I also hope we will surround the couple in even more prayer than we did hoopla and media coverage for their wedding day. For their journey as man and wife has just begun, and we certainly wish them a life time of joy and happiness. My personal prayer for William and Kate is not only that they spend their long years in a glorious and happy marriage, but that in a few years time, we'll see Royal family photos of the two of them, surrounded by at least as many cherub faced children of their own as they had in their wedding.

Photo Credit 1

Photo Credit 2

Photo Credit 3

Prayers and Passing

2011-04-29T17:52:00.002-04:00

Dear Readers,

What a roller coaster holy week and Easter week. My birthday was on Good Friday, but on Holy Tuesday my dear Grandmother took a turn for the worse. At 94 and having survived 2 strokes that left her speechless and wheelchair bound, we were simply all amazed at her enduring joy and resilience. The 9 day vigil began - and my Grandmother passed away yesterday, Easter Thursday at about 11:15 PM.

We had so many beautiful moments together and her own 'passion' was united to Christ in such a special way and I am confident in God's mercy upon her soul. Please keep her in your prayers.

There are so many glorious things I need to blog about: including a book review, the royal wedding (and don't worry, I will get to the royal wedding tomorrow or tonight!!) But now, I am exhausted, so I ask for your prayers.

We Wish You...

2011-04-23T09:05:00.002-04:00

...A Blessed Triduum. May you and your loved ones know the love of Christ more deeply at this time.

A Hermit in Maryland?

2011-04-12T09:49:00.003-04:00

Who could resist wanting to know someone with such a joyful face? That's Sr. Mary Veronica of the Holy Face--one of two canonical hermits in the Archdiocese of Baltimore. Margaret Canabiss of Inside Catholic recently interviewed Sr. Mary Veronica:

t's a very contemplative lifestyle. It's not an easy life -- you give up the world. We're still in the world but not of the world. There's a lot of self-discipline involved: Other religious are in community, so they'd go to prayer together, while I go to prayer by myself. You have to touch base with someone to make sure you're staying on target and not going off the deep end in the woods by yourself -- a spiritual director, a confessor. I touch base with my pastor occasionally. So you're a loner, although you're not really a lone ranger.

The funny thing is, you don't realize that there are hermits out there until you become one, and then this whole world opens up. You find out that there are hermits everywhere, all over the world. They're not all canonical, they're not all Roman Catholic, but they're out there.

...

My husband John used to say, "If anything happens to me, Mary's probably going in the convent," so I think some people were expecting it more than I was. But it's still been hard for them. My son and his wife have been very supportive from the very beginning, but they just had a baby, and they live five minutes away. . . It would be so easy if I packed my bag and went to the train station and kissed everybody goodbye, but that didn't happen -- I'm still in the neighborhood. I can see them occasionally, if they come for a visit, but they can't stay for the whole day.

I gave up all of that to pray -- to live in silence and solitude and simplicity. However, I can be in contact with people: I have an e-mail address and I'm in contact with other hermits and with my son. I have a phone, but after my family and friends came to my profession Mass, it stopped ringing. I think then people really understood a lot more.

What a remarkable witness. Read the whole interview.

Just One Click...

2011-04-11T22:16:00.001-04:00

....and a Magdalene Sisters loyal reader could win her dream wedding! Consider taking a second a voting for one of my dearest friends who has seen me through the single life. :)

Love you, L!

Prayer Request

2011-04-03T20:36:00.001-04:00

Will you kindly pray for my father? He has to have surgery soon. I sincerely appreciate it!

Blessings,

Julian

Hello, Hemlines

2011-03-23T07:56:00.007-04:00

Well, thank the Dear Lord. Designers are showcasing longer hemlines that are not only more modest, but definitely more figure-flattering for the normal-sized woman. I've got to be honest. The past few spring and summer seasons have been tough. I have loved the feminine details that are emerging...the flowers, petals, jewels, and ruffles that made their way onto dresses and cardigans...but the hemlines were significantly above the knee, making tights nearly always a necessity. Let's be honest...who wants to wear leggings or tights in the summer? Not me. And if you're like me, the lower part of your leg is an asset, while the upper should remain hidden all year round. And even though designers really embraced defining the waist, which is flattering for every woman, the hemlines still crept higher and higher.

While I've been on spring break, I've been flipping through magazines, watching What Not to Wear, and getting myself to the stores with sales, riding this trend of longer hemlines and loving every minute of it. Even pants are starting to get a higher waist and a more flattering line down the leg. Throw out those board shorts from the past years ladies, because sleek, Audrey Hepburn-like pants that grace the ankle are back in. I would say the big A word to celebrate, but it's Lent, so...Praise the Lord!

My picks for dresses:

I bought this one!

I want this one.

Next paycheck.

My picks for skirts:

Everything you could ever want.

Splurge.

Hello, beautiful.

My picks for tops and accessories:

Figure-flattering.

Random, but fun.
Love scarves!

Archbishop Dolan is a Rockstar!

2011-03-21T09:25:00.002-04:00

Check out this great video clip of the archbishop. What a gift to us!!!

Lent

2011-03-19T07:57:00.004-04:00

So, I don't know much about the temperaments , but I do know that I am at least in part very melancholic. I mean, I wrote a graduate thesis on purgative suffering and its relation to hope, for goodness' sake. When given the choice, I always choose to pray the Sorrowful Mysteries of the Rosary. And I really love Lent. I am drawn to think of our Lord on the Cross. Not sad, not emo, just a thinker, I guess.

Yesterday I went to my parish's Stations of the Cross, and I just simply fell in love all over again with this tradition. I love the Stabat Mater, I love the genuflecting, I love the meditation on redemption found throughout the Scriptures and how they are perfected in Christ. So, here are some things I'm using to help me with my meditation. Perhaps they will be of help to you, too!

1. A Holy Hour. If you can get to Him, go!

2. Bach's Passion of St. Matthew. This just gets me right in the zone.

3. Danielle Rose's Mysteries CD: especially the reflection on the Agony in the Garden.

4. Praying the Seven Sorrows Rosary with Immaculee Ilibagiza.

Prayers for a deepened encounter with the crucified Christ!

Clearing the Desk Linkfest

2011-03-15T21:41:00.001-04:00

Sorry for my extreme silence on the blog. Life has been busy. But I've piled up a big list of links to share with you all, and am finally together enough to post them. I am so glad Julian brought up the Kay Hymowitz article, and will write my thoughts about it shortly. But I wanted to clear the decks first of all these piled up links. The final 3 have something to do with the Hymowitz article, too.

NOBODY GETS MARRIED ANYMORE by Gerry Garibaldi, City Journal:

Here’s my prediction: the money, the reforms, the gleaming porcelain, the hopeful rhetoric about saving our children—all of it will have a limited impact, at best, on most city schoolchildren. Urban teachers face an intractable problem, one that we cannot spend or even teach our way out of: teen pregnancy. This year, all of my favorite girls are pregnant, four in all, future unwed mothers every one. There will be no innovation in this quarter, no race to the top. Personal moral accountability is the electrified rail that no politician wants to touch.

ZIONIST SECT MARRIES GAY MEN TO LESBIAN WOMAN, by Yair Ettinger, Haaretz via First Things:

Rabbis from the religious Zionist community have launched an initiative to marry gay men to lesbian women - with some surprising successes.

...Etti and Roni, both religious, were married five years ago. Though they were honest with each other about their sexual orientations from their first meeting, to the outside world, they portray themselves as a normal heterosexual couple. Today, they have two children, and are thrilled with the results.

"It's incredible," they wrote. "Six years ago, we didn't think we would ever be this happy. We thought everything was black, that we'd lost our chance of a normal life. But today, things are good for us. There are gaps, but that's true in every case. And we fill them with the great love we give to and receive from our children, and also enjoy the simple human love we give each other, such as any two people can give and receive."

SLACKING AS SELF DISCOVERY by Rita Koganzon in The New Atlantis:

Extrapolating primarily from the statistics on the increasing age of marriage and childbearing in the United States and refusing to lament them, Arnett argues forcefully that emerging adulthood is a positive development. Free from external constraints (and often supported financially by their parents), twentysomethings have the opportunity to try an array of temporary jobs, relationships, educational paths, and residences to find which of these are most to their preference. In winnowing down the options, they are also able to “find themselves,” a discovery that will serve them well as adults, assuming they ever decide to become adults. Armed with the self-knowledge gained from a decade of working at Starbucks, joining the Peace Corps, and sharing a basement studio in Brooklyn with four other emerging adults, those at the end of emerging adulthood will better make the family and career decisions they had been putting off, resulting in a future of greater life satisfaction and stability.

...If this all sounds a bit confused, fluffy, and New Agey, Robin Marantz Henig, the author of the Times Magazine piece, has Arnett’s studies and vague neuroscientific speculation about brain maturation to back it up. Emerging adulthood, she argues, isn’t merely a description of the way a narrow sliver of affluent and well-educated people are choosing to spend their twenties, but a seismic shift that will have political consequences.

THE POWERLESSNESS OF THE SINGLE WOMAN by Drs. J.R. Bruns and R.A. Richards II, in Psycology Today:

These same forbidden themes of women's desire for marriage and their frustrations with men and dating have been box office magic in recent "Chick Lit" movies like "Bridget Jones Diary " and "Sex In The City". Feelings of fear, powerlessness and alienation are safely released as long as it is in fiction or pictured on the silver screen.

It turns out that today's liberated women want to marry. The problem, as Whitehead points out, is that the social infrastructure that was designed to help young women meet marriageable men no longer exists. Once upon a time the American courtship rituals of the Senior Prom and sorority formals accomplished their task of getting young men and women paired off. That era disappeared along with platform shows, bell bottom pants and mood rings.

Since many women are pursuing marriage after they have left high school and college with their pool of available men, these single women must take on this chore by themselves. Instead of dating and mating with men they grew up with or at least shared classes with, many are now dating and mating with strangers.

This new system is tailor-made for the mirage man. He doesn't even have to promise young single women to go steady to achieve his short term goals. He either "hooks up" or is "joined at the hip." The "hook up" is friends with benefits, meaning sex without commitment. The other option is "joined at the hip", where a couple that doesn't know each other very well commits to a sexual relationship and spends all their time together. Neither hooking up or being joined at the hip leads to many strong relationships that can weather the storms of life...

SEX IS CHEAP by Mark Regnerus in Slate:

We keep hearing that young men are failing to adapt to contemporary life. Their financial prospects are impaired—earnings for 25- to 34-year-old men have fallen by 20 percent since 1971. Their college enrollment numbers trail women's: Only 43 percent of American undergraduates today are men. Last year, women made up the majority of the work force for the first time. And yet there is one area in which men are very much in charge: premarital heterosexual relationships.

When attractive women will still bed you, life for young men, even those who are floundering, just isn't so bad.

ON DATING NICE CATHOLIC GIRLS by Max Lindeman on Patheos:

I was approaching carved-wood status, though not quietly, when I met—really met—my first nice Catholic girl. It was at a vocational discernment retreat. I was standing on the monastery porch, peering through the French doors toward the living room, wondering whether I should bolt now and apologize later, or vice-versa. I heard tires on gravel. Turning, I saw a girl step out of a Honda wearing a tight pair of jeans. They were not, I hasten to add, skinny jeans; they were cut '80s-style, high at the waist.
When the girl faced me, I saw that her glasses, too, were cut in the style of the Reagan Revolution: square, in every sense. But her legs—timeless. Perhaps her ensemble seems to spell out a mixed message? Not for me. I read: I am beautiful, but either don't know, or don't care.

Why, you could be my vocation, I thought, as she skipped past me, smiling.

It's moments like this when I love the Church. The world condemns bolts of magical thinking as lunacy. The Church dignifies them as the beginning of discernment. In I went.

Motherhood in Modernity

2011-03-14T16:01:00.008-04:00

Just to start off: I am not pregnant. But one day, once I find a good man and marry him, I most certainly hope to be. Many times over, God willing. I have been learning so much about the difficulty of raising children in today's society from my wonderful "mommy" friends. I have one friend who got pregnant as a teen-ager, married the child's father and now has 5 kids! God has graced their marriage abundantly. She is a rock star as far as I am concerned. She is raising them to be gentle to each other; she homeschools; she nurtures: again, she is a rock star! But she is also quite young (27-28ish) and takes a lot of slack from others, including other mothers! "Oh, you have your hands full!" (To which she quite appropriately replies, "Actually, I don't. Look (open palms). They are empty!") Or the "Are they all yours? But you are so young!"

Oh, the trials of modern motherhood! And often times, society certainly does not encourage those of us who want to be mothers. I remember reading in a woman's magazine some years ago an article about having children. There was a photo of a mother with several children at the beach. The mother was holding a baby in one arm and was watching over two other little ones as they played about in the splashing waves. Sounds idyllic, right? Well, it should have been, but the mother was overweight and billowing out of her bathing suit under the headline: HAVING BABIES MAKES YOU FAT. So much for encouragement, world! Thanks! (According to my mommy friends, baby weight does in fact come off.)

So, when a friend of mine sent me this disturbing recent story, my initial reaction was much like when I was forced to read Kate Chopin's The Awakening....barftastic. (And yes, I have certified that word!) This is the story of one Rahna Reiko Rizzuto, who is a mother of two and (was at one time) we can assume happily married. But here she is (at the video clip linked above) shamelessly promoting herself and her latest book about how she left her family after taking a fellowship to study in Japan and then realized "why she never really wanted to be a mother anyway." She then in the next breath states that her children are fine and normal...meaning that they presumably find it emotionally (not to mention morally!) acceptable not only that their mother has written a book detailing how being their mother stifled her, but then went on national television to say the same thing. But don't worry, the kids are fine.... Who is she kidding?

Ms. Rizzuto states that motherhood was just too "all-encompassing" and she left her two young children and husband of 20 years to go essentially find herself in Japan. After an eye roll, a head-shake, and a shriek of "Are you serious?" I decided to take her seriously. Perhaps she does bring up a valid point about women feeling pressure to maintain the perfect household at all times. Maybe such a fear is contrived. I don't know. But her Nietzschean garbly-gook about having to find what was best for her is very disturbing indeed, and I think it reflects some of the very real failings of our society today: the contraceptive mentality, the hook-up culture, etc. all point to one teaching: I am the only who matters. And this is very disturbing. Very disturbing indeed.

Then we have the equally disturbing celebrity gossip magazines touting about which Kardashian is going to have "a baby on her own" or the story about Nicole Kidman who just had a baby with surrogate. What is wrong with us? Are our babies just a cute accessory that we carry around to give the paparazzi something to snap at? And a surrogate? Not to mention that is Catholic Nicole Kidman who did this! For any of you readers who might be thinking about egg donation, implantation, or being a surrogate, I urge you to watch the documentary Eggsplotation about the latest form of exploiting women and children.

Stories like these always bring to mind the fundamental questions of what it means to be a woman, and particularly what it means to be a Catholic woman who is a witness to femininity in the world today. I think we have a particular vocation to love as Christ did: in giving of ourselves to others. If we, like the Ms. Rizzutos of the world, feel stifled and unable flourish in our individuality in giving of ourselves, then perhaps we are not giving in the first place. Perhaps we are just like the celebrities who use their children as accessories or a photo-op.

One of my favorite mom stories is a little passage in the Gospel of Matthew. It is the passage from Matthew chapter 8, verses 14 and 15. It is about Peter's mother-in-law who was sick with fever and Christ heals her. Immediately, she gets up and ministers to them. And this is NOT stifling to her individuality nor insulting to her femininity. It is the perfect expression of what we are called to do: serve the Lord and others in the Lord, starting with the members of our own families. Let's pray especially that some of our more confused sisters will recognize this feminine privilege!

Photo Credit

Two Cents.

2011-03-14T08:04:00.004-04:00

It's been a few weeks since the publication of Kay Hymowitz's article, "Where Have the Good Men Gone?" Comments have been posted, responses have been written. In a sense, there's not much else to say. In my estimation, Hymowitz is dead-on in her description of what is now called "pre-adulthood" - the twentysomething (or thirtysomething) who is free of familial obligations, is professionally successful and financially stable, and is well-educated. The milestones that used to mark adulthood for men and women -- providing for one's wife and children, taking care of a household, and bearing children, are not being met. To be sure, these other things are certainly goods in themselves, and serve to better society in some substantial regard. I, for one, am very proud of my graduate degree and my profession as a teacher of young women. It does feel good to be earning a competitive salary, and to hold my head up high in a room filled with other men and women my age, proud of my accomplishments and interested in those of the people in my company. These experiences we are having in pre-adulthood, well, at least some of them, give our lives some color and interest.

However, Hymowitz is also right that advertisers, marketers, and entertainers are all tempting us to give into desires for superficiality which is easy and experiences that are fleeting with no-strings-attached, distracting us from our most visceral area of vulnerability -- the desire to be loved. Though Hymowitz describes what is going on, she doesn't provide the way out:

What explains this puerile shallowness? I see it as an expression of our cultural uncertainty about the social role of men. It's been an almost universal rule of civilization that girls became women simply by reaching physical maturity, but boys had to pass a test. They needed to demonstrate courage, physical prowess or mastery of the necessary skills. The goal was to prove their competence as protectors and providers. Today, however, with women moving ahead in our advanced economy, husbands and fathers are now optional, and the qualities of character men once needed to play their roles—fortitude, stoicism, courage, fidelity—are obsolete, even a little embarrassing.

No matter what demographic or sociological shift occurs, or what milestones are or aren't met, men and women, more than boys or girls, desire to be in loving relationships that are deeply satisfying. I don't think anyone in their right mind would claim that single men or women stuck in this limbo are particularly happy. At this point, it's not a matter of shifting the blame from one sex to the other, or to the act of sex itself. It's a matter of cultivating relationships of charitable friendship, calling one another to "man (or woman) up," and to meet milestones in the formation of character. Even if masculine and feminine virtues are said to be outdated, they are ingrained in our humanity, and will find a way back into society, if only we would have the "fortitude, courage, and fidelity" to try.

When Did This Become a Good Idea?

2011-03-08T07:46:00.001-05:00

No words.

On Dating, "Frenemies," and 40 Days for Life

2011-03-07T23:41:00.008-05:00

So, I have decided. Even though I certainly continue to pray for my future husband, whenever I should meet him, I simply don't have time for dating right now. I had three parking tickets in a week and almost burned my house down because I was so tired that I passed out while cooking something on the stove. My life is so busy going between three cities, that I decided dating is not an option - who has time to foster a romantic relationship when I cannot even remember to pay my parking meter. Not Edith.

However, I have been working to foster female friendships. I think these are such important relationships for us as single women. Say what you will about Margaret Mead, but I just heard a quote from her that hit the nail on the head: "There is a special place in hell for a woman who won't help another woman." And I think she is right. That is why this whole concept of "frenemies" makes 0% sense to me. To those of you who don't know, a "frenemy" is someone who acts like your friend, but secretly hates you behind your back. You can read about the phenomenon here (warning: since the whole entire thing is kind of trashy, don't be alarmed that this article is linked to Cosmopolitan magazine - one of its editors wrote the book).

Let me explain. I have been reading from Wendy Shalit's Girls Gone Mild wherein she discusses the importance of fostering a woman's authentic sense of self. This authentic sense of self is warped, according to Shalit, when women are forced to take the "bad girl" oversexualized persona that is so jammed into our brains in this culture: think Lady Gaga, Katy Perry, Kesha, Rihanna. Each one of these pop singers has one thing in common: sex. That is how they define their music, and that is what is incessantly blaring out of our radios.

I mean - I am going to go on a bit of a rant here - Rihanna's latest song is about how she loves Sado-masochism. Rihanna has a song where she belts out that she wants her lover to make her feel like she is the only girl in the world, the one who is in control, and the only one who makes her one night stand feel like a man. Through out the song, you get the sense that while she is desperately begging her lover to make her feel like the only person in the world who matters, when she wakes up the next morning, the feeling will be gone. And, just in case you were in any doubt, it will be gone in the morning - and he will too. Do I even need to talk about the others?

But, I digress. The point at hand was to explain why the concept of the "Frenemy" a. makes no sense to me and b. is linked to rampant promiscuity in women. You see, when a woman treats herself as a sex object, she actually becomes more shallow, less confident, and becomes obsessed with pleasing men. That is why many modern womens' magazines revolve around fashion, make-up, and sex - because really, if all you are is an object, what is left to talk about anyway? When women are encouraged to be sexual objects, they not only lose the ability to appreciate the goodness in men (they become jaded and lose hope in finding true love), they also lose the ability to bond with one another and see one another as sexual competitors. Hence, they become "frenemies." Scary world indeed.

As single women, I think we have a responsibility to foster authentic friendships with one another - the kind of friendship that builds a person up, that encourages gifts, talents, strengths, and yes - the kind of friendship that is genuinely happy when a friend accomplishes something awesome and when a friend finds a good man. In this way, we can help to build a civilization of love that respects the life of every person.

This Lent, I am observing the 40 Days for Life in Chicago. It is my hope to build friendships through this prayer and fasting campaign. I hope to build a better friendship with Christ as I discern my vocation and to foster friendships with all my fellow sojourners - both male and female. I believe that by fostering authentic human relationships, we can, by the grace of God, change people hearts about abortion. We are not frenemies. No, indeed we are not. We are called to love, as St. Paul tells us in Romans 12: "Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves."

I Want This Dress

2011-02-27T21:02:00.002-05:00

I know she's 14 or something, but I LOVE this.

Dating, Mating, and More

2011-02-19T08:35:00.006-05:00

Well, thanks, Edith, for getting a conversation going on my favorite topic: the adventures and misadventures of dating as a Catholic woman in today's world. The Magdalene Sisters have a rather lengthy conversation about it already (sadly chronicling most of my misadventures), so if you've just joined us, feel free to catch up! And thanks to all of our new visitors and the comments you shared. I really cracked up, but was also forced to take a good look at my own approach to this part of my life.

1) I tend to be one of those women who was referenced who might be saying contradictory things and even embodying contradictory things in her life. I often say to my girlfriends, "I wish these guys would just ask us out to coffee, dinner, or on a single date. A date doesn't mean we want to get married, or we're going to stalk him on Facebook, or create a shrine to him in our bedrooms. A date is a date." But at the same time, when I am asked on a date, I find myself unable to leave a date as a date. A woman can easily slip into anticipation of the follow through on his end. And not just normal excitement, but a real, yearning anticipation. It is hard for us, when we are treated like a lady, which can be rare, to not want to soak that up. It does whet our appetite, both for good and ill. And single dates can come along rarely. Maybe if it were the 1950's and women were regularly asked out by various men then a date could just be a date. But it's not that way today. The difficulty for the feminine heart is to stay emotionally disciplined while not denying her desire to be pursued. If anyone has figured out a "how-to" on this, please let me know.

2). Like Edith I have a "texter" in my life right. I'm not sure if we're friends, or possibly more. We always have fun together. We never talk about dating. Our relationship has been slow and steady, and I'd say we're growing in comfort with one another. I got frustrated a few months ago, because I was doing the majority of inviting to drinks or group outings. He always showed up and paid me attention, but was never initiating anything (well, rarely I'd say). Now, like clockwork, he texts me every two weeks just to "check in," "say hello," or ask me out for a drink. But every two-three weeks is not really a follow through if it's been like that for 6 months. Maybe in his mind this is persistence. Maybe we're just friends. It doesn't feel like it's a pursuit. And that's okay. I just wish I could look this up in a reference book and know what it is.

3) Recently our very own "Catholic Ken" was brought up in a conversation. My male friend who is friends with him offered, "Why would Ken want to get married? He's the center of the social scene down here. He has the attraction and admiration of both guys and women. That's hard to give up." I feel for Catholic Ken (and all of the Ken's). Men in general seem to have trouble in our culture of making the decision to settle down. It must be really scary and foreign for them. As women we should figure out how to subtly help them and challenge them to take a leap in their own lives toward the unknown. If only we all had pink convertibles to swing by, pick them up, and head to Barbie's Dream House for a chat...

For Edith and Julian

2011-02-14T11:52:00.000-05:00

Happy Valentine's day, dear friends! I love you!

(Image)

It's a Date!

2011-02-14T07:00:00.000-05:00

Oh, what a wonderful conversation we have been having, readers, about dating, men, women, and the single life. I suppose Valentine's day is a great day to resurrect the conversation! First of all, a tremendous THANK YOU to Dawn Eden for this shout out. Can I just tell you it made my whole week? Maybe even my year?! Interestingly, I went to a phenomenal conference at Notre Dame this past Friday where Dawn was speaking...but her talk was Saturday and I was only there Friday...so bummed! Luckily, I asked a friend of mine who was there to have her sign my book to Edith Magdalene! And she did! It was awesome! I will definitely be using the insights from the conference in these posts throughout the week!

I thought first I would recap some of our readers major points: you brought up so many great ones, that it would be really hard to reply all in one post!

First, Commentator andersonrc1 brought up a great point about whether or not women should be straightforward with men on a date or risk being considered too intimidating. And Commentator Lianna asks if the problem is with what seems to be a lack of maturity on the part of the men - and I had a great insight to this during a talk given by Wendy Shalit, whom you might know as the author of Girls Gone Mild. I can't wait to share!

Next, we had a couple of guy perspectives. Commentator Aaron gives us a great and really funny guy perspective of the Crazy Catholic Female types! He writes:

There is the "I want him to do all the pursuing" woman. (Man hears, "I will faint in his arms and make him carry me everywhere." Man asks, "Do I have to do everything?") There is the "Babies! I'm desperate to make babies!" woman. (Man asks, "Am I just a gene factory? And isn't next week a little early for a wedding?") Then there's the "I am a professional adult woman of serious tastes and interests and I deserve to be taken seriously." (Man hears, "I am a borderline feminist and probably too good for you and maybe not that interested in marriage at all.") And all of those women may be the same person. So his reluctance to formalize plans may be an attempt to let the Professional Woman be a partner in planning. Or he may be doing elaborate things (which suggest more commitment than he's actually got right now) in an attempt to meet the Fainting Woman's expectations. Or he may be trying to signal to the Babies Woman that he too would like to have babies, but can we put off naming them until we're at least engaged? And he may be changing his tack mid-course, trying to adjust as the various facets of this woman wax and wane. So cut him just a little slack.

The best part about this, Aaron, is when you say that all of these 'types' might be happening in the same woman all at once! I was laughing so hard! And I hope you have lots of daughters too, so that they can tell you how wonderful you are!

Éamonn reminds us about the necessity of honesty and openness in our relationships, and I think too, that his post also calls to mind that we are indeed unique persons, and my stereotypes are just that...as partially true as they might be :-)

Finally, Christopher questions the whole 'dating' scene all together and suggests that maybe courtship should be the order of finding a suitable spouse. This one has given me the most food for thought, and I will be reflecting on this for the rest of the week. Happy SAINT Valentine's day!! Know that I love and am praying for each one of you!

So, tomorrow I will (try to!) tackle the ladies' replies...then hit the gentlemen's later in the week!

Valentine's Day

2011-02-13T22:27:00.005-05:00

Oh, I could write a sob story for all single ladies on this day, especially Agatha and Edith, who are close to my heart. However, I'd rather leave a quotation.

We ask our Lover to come for us, and we keep our hearts open for His coming. We choose not to shut down. We let the tears come. We allow the ache to swell into a longing prayer for our God. And He comes, dear hearts. He does come. The times of intimacy -- the flowing waters of love -- those times then bring healing to places in our hearts that still need His touch

-- Captivating

I pray this day that all women and men who wait on the Lord for love to be made incarnate for them experience it today. May you know of my prayers.

Retreating

2011-02-09T08:01:00.001-05:00

Please pray for my students as we head on retreat this week. I ask you to pray that their hearts will be opened, that I will be present to them, and that the Lord would also work in my own heart at this time. Thank you!

"Tell him slowly: Good Jesus, if I am to be an apostle, and an apostle of apostles, you have to make me very humble. May I know myself. May I know myself and you. Then I will never lose sight of my nothingness."

-- St. Josemaria Escriva, The Forge, #871

Agatha's Feast Day

2011-02-05T06:15:00.001-05:00

Today we remember St. Agatha, one of the most courageous martyrs of the Church. Though her own tests and crosses are different from our own Agatha's, the two women are alike in that they are steadfast in the work that the Lord has given them (even if our own Agatha does not think so) and fully committed to the preservation of all that is (and was) good and pure in their lives.

Happy Feast Day, Agatha!

The Catholic Dating World

2011-02-04T16:23:00.009-05:00

A few months back, I remember talking with Julian and Agatha about A. How we were sick of being single. (Well, actually, Agatha is much better on this score than Julian and I!) B. How we were sick of writing about being single and C. How the Catholic dating world in their city was sort of...comical, awkward and slightly dysfunctional. And now that I have started to at least be open to the prospect of dating again, I too, have to agree that in my city, that the Catholic dating scene is really a little comical.

After chatting with my Magdalene Sisters and my Catholic girlfriends at home, I'd like to describe the laughable 'archetypes' I have been finding in the Catholic dating scene. Here is one that I have experienced personally.

1. The Guy Who Asks for Your Number But Only Sends Text Messages Suggesting a Potential Date-at-Some-Unknown-Time-in-the-Maybe-Near-Future.

He seems really nice and very personable. He then finds the courage to ask for your number! Awesome! But instead of calling for a date, he relies on the fact that he'll see you around with the group of mutual friends. But when he does see you out, he might rigidly make light conversation. Then, he ignores you and talks to seemingly every other girl in the room but you. Then immediately after you leave the event, he texts you telling you that he really missed the opportunity to talk with you and thinks you two should plan on going out for coffee sometime soon. Rinse and repeat for about 3 weeks.

This happened to me with the guy I mentioned in my previous post. Why did he even ask for my number? What was going on with these text messages, but no phone call? Bottom line: He's just not that interested, so delete his number, DO NOT reply to texts, and be cordial and lady like when you see him in group settings.

2. The Hang Out and Flirt In a Group Setting Guy and Maybe Ask You for Some Pseudo Dates.

I have had no experience with this guy, but he is the major gripe of all my Catholic girlfriends. He forges a friendship with a girl and usually sees her in group setting activities. He'll then maybe ask her to accompany him for something, but the sense is that you are not really sure if this is a date or not. He never brings it up, but just leaves things open-ended, ambiguous, and feeling...unsure. He may even spend the whole time you are together talking about last night's party or talking about other people in your group of friends, but never really seems like he is seeking to get to know you better. Bottom line with him: After a couple dates like this: he probably is not interested. Don't accept another one.

3. Catholic Ken

Ah, Catholic Ken seeking the perfect Catholic Barbie - the one who, as Julian mentioned hearing one man say, is seeking the ideal woman who is both a "super model and daily communicant." Wow. Just wow. This man might have all the right credentials on paper, but at the end of the day, he's just a little superficial.

I caught a glimpse of such a guy at a recent pro-life event when a friend of mine pointed him out to me. "That's Catholic Ken, and he is on the prowl for a wife. However, he is only looking for Catholic Barbie. He really is great: A good Catholic and he's super involved in the pro-life movement. But, he only talks to girls who like a Barbie doll."

Well, I must not qualify, because he definitely did not look twice at me! (And being a short, dark haired Sicilian, it's easy to see how I don't qualify as Barbie material!)

3. The TOB Idolizer

Now, before you jump down my throat, let me first say that Theology of the Body is AWESOME! But sometimes, it's so easy to take some aspects of it and run into an idealized view of a perfect marriage and forget that we live in the world. And I recognize that both men and women are guilty of this! We get so much great news about the Divine and what it means to be made in the image of the Divine, that we can easily forget about the every-day-ness that life brings with it in relationships.

This guy idolizes the archetypal pre-lapsiarian Eve so much (remember, this is Eve pre-fall - and not the new Eve) and believes every woman should be just like her. She should be on a pedestal, perfect, pure, virginal, innocent, and basically be Venus de Milo. Chaste women seeking purity, innocence, virtue, and safeguarding their virginity should not spurned, to be sure. That's not my intention. But sometimes this guy forgets that women can sin too, and that they too can fall victim to the lies of our over-sexed culture.

I know, I know, this post makes me seem cynical. But I am not. I am 100% laughing at it all, sort of like Jane Austen as she observed her world. I recognize that these men are human too, and that there is a lot of pressure on men as well: especially regarding purity, so it's easy to see how some guys can err on the side of being too idealistic in this regard.

To prep myself to re-emerge into this oh-so-frustrating world of dating, I picked up Dawn Eden's The Thrill of the Chaste (did I mention I ran into her last year when visiting Agatha? I was so star struck, I could not speak!) I read it before a few years back, but this time I am getting much more out of it. She makes a distinction in the book between being a single woman and being a singular woman. Essentially, the single woman is on the prowl, looking for fulfillment in a man, but never finding satisfaction because she really is self-seeking. The singular woman exudes confidence, charm, and gratitude towards others and simply has fun being herself with whomever she is with. Here is a quote that really put this distinction into perspective for me.

A single woman, in seeking a husband, feels the need to act in a coy, sly, or deceptive manner-even if she normally would never think of intentionally misleading someone.... Likewise, she accepts a level of superficiality from a man she's dating that she wouldn't tolerate from her friends. She's not stupid-she just loses perspective when facing the possibility of a relationship.... A singular woman behaves with an honesty and lack of guile that will appear arresting to the love interest who expects a superficial relationship-as well it should. With her words and actions, she is speaking a deeper language, one that can be understood only by the kind of man for whom she longs - one of integrity. Such a man will understand that the singular woman's straightforwardness and absence of pretense is rooted in a deep respect for him as a fellow child of God.

Thrill of the Chaste, p. 23

Dawn Eden's words struck me with new freshness on this reading, especially in light of the past year's experiences. I know that I poked fun at the awkward archetypes of guys (and trust me, women probably have worse ones and many more!), but I am really trying to keep an open mind, remembering that, as Dawn Eden says, a deep respect for Mr. Right as a child of God is a necessary approach for any date. In fact, it's the only approach to find him.
Photo Credit

Let me rest

2011-02-03T06:07:00.004-05:00

I am tired. I am tired of waking 2 hours before the sun. I am tired of juggling my morning routine with the bus schedule. I am tired of never seeing the sun. I am tired of only seeing the sun outside my office window. I am tired of having a to do list of absolutely essential things to do that is a mile and a half long and never gets done. And that's just at the office. I am tired of never cooking, but too tired to cook. I am tired of feeling guilty about not liking my job. I am tired of trying to find alternatives. I am tired of burdening my friends with my weariness. I am tired of wanting to go to bed at 8 pm. I am tired of feeling guilt every time I think of a far away friend who I haven't talked to in a month. I am tired of missing my Mom's phone calls and worrying about my sister's work. I am tired of the way my fridge smells and the way I can never keep my room tidy and the huge mound of papers i have to go through on my desk. I am tired of having to take the subway everywhere. And tired of forgetting to buy nails. I am tired of nightmares and tired of butterflies in my stomach and tired of clenching my jaw. I'm tired of having something to do every day. I am tired of taxes. I'm tired of lunch. I am tired of only seeing beautiful things on my computer screen. I am tired of being so scattered. I am tired of not finding joy. I am tired. Lord, give me rest.

Roberto Melli

Edith's Back...

2011-01-31T23:20:00.006-05:00

Well, as you probably noticed, I've been pretty silent this past month and half, and not without good reason. I first want to thank all of you for your prayers for me this past year. As you all know, 2010 was straight up Not.My.Year. And trust me, no one was happier than me to shed the weight of a terrible 2010 (literally - I left 25 lbs. behind!) Go 2011!!

Things have been looking up! I met a professor at Notre Dame who has invited to share in the community there, attend her class, and attend political science events. I have been working on my thesis...like really working, not aimlessly reading, and I even started teaching a class at the local college where I had interviewed earlier in 2010. God has shown me His bounteous gifts by giving me a new springtime, a new time of flourishing, a new outpouring of blessings. And I wake up every morning and thank God with my whole heart that He saved me from almost marrying a man who would have made me more than unhappy.

During the feast of the Immaculate Conception novena , I was praying to God for a confirmation that I was ready to start dating again. And He delivered. The last day of that novena, I was asked for my phone number...although nothing came of that save a few random text messages, it was still nice to feel that I had a 'green light' in my prayer life that I was really ready to date again (btw, stay tuned, in my text post, I'll share some experiences and seek some dating advice!) I have, however, gone out on one date and I had a great time. Although I am not thrilled to be in the dating scene, I am just joyful to be pursuing what God is asking me to do and becoming the person He is asking me to be.

Just a little life update for now, but more substantial posts to come! Dear 2011: I love you already! I love you so much, I am even looking forward to my 28th birthday (which falls on Good Friday this year.) I mean, if I am looking forward to being older and it falls on the most solemn day of the liturgical year, then I know things in life are definitely moving in the right direction!

On Being Googled

2011-01-26T15:43:00.003-05:00

I've been thinking a lot about my use of technology, and its implications for the type of person I'm becoming, how I use my time, and whether or not the internet in particular is helping me to strengthen or weaken my relationships (certainly "the internet" and "technology" are nouns with many uses and purposes, and those could be parceled out and examined individually).

However, one thing that I do not really like is having an "online presence" or "virtual personality." What I mean by this is that if someone were to search for me in Google, various links would come up, mostly linking me to organizations and institutions that I am or have been affiliated with as well as news sources that have quoted me.

This has really only bothered me once before, when I found out on a third date that before a guy had initially asked me out, he had "Googled" me and saw that I was associated with an organization that he did not really care for (and come to find out, significantly misunderstood its mission). Before asking me out, he said he seriously weighed whether or not to pursue something, even though he thought I was attractive and we had shared several dynamic conversations in person. When he said that, I felt reduced to some sort of online attribute that he would have eventually come to understand about me more in depth and more organically should it have come up in conversation. We only went on a few more dates, partly because our morals did not line up after all, but also partly because I felt prematurely assessed based on my "virtual" encounter with him instead of my real encounters with him in person. It was almost as if he missed experiencing me, and instead "experienced" the virtual me.

This is just now crossing my mind again because I am supposed to be going out on a blind date in the next week or so after being "virtually" introduced by a colleague. I don't mind blind dates any more than dates after having talked to someone in person. But I can't help but wonder if he will "Google" me before meeting me in person, and what effect that will have on his opinion of our date and of me.

I choose not to Google him, and to see what happens. Let's just say, "I'm Feeling Lucky."

Snow Days...

2011-01-26T07:38:00.002-05:00

....are good for so many things:

* Enjoying my coffee while reading the news

* Taking time for spiritual reading

* Catching up on correspondence with friends

* Shutting off my phone, email, and Facebook

* Saving my makeup for another day

* Being thoughtful about planning assignments and lessons apart from interruptions

* Journaling

* Reading poetry

* Listening to this song and this song on repeat

What Women Want

2011-01-25T12:54:00.000-05:00

The Set-Up

2011-01-22T11:30:00.002-05:00

Help!

I have never really ventured into the world of setting up friends who I think might make a compatible couple, but I was recently struck with the idea of introducing two wonderful persons to each other (in prayer!). Has anyone successfully done this? I've been on the other end of this process, and have experienced it a few different ways: being the only one who knew it was a "set up," being totally off-guard, and having the man also know this was a "set-up." For those matchmakers out there, what do you think is the best way to go? The opportunity for the two of them to meet is about a week away, in a relaxed atmosphere (a party), but I'm wondering if either of them (or both) should be clued into my thinking.

JPII We Love You!

2011-01-14T10:27:00.006-05:00

The news went out this morning: Pope John Paul II will be beatified on Divine Mercy Sunday, May 1, 2011, in Rome. This is SO AWESOME. And such a fitting day: he was a huge promoter of devotion to the Divine Mercy, and was the one who moved the feast to the Sunday following Easter. Additionally, it is the feast of St. Joseph the Worker, and the first Sunday in the month of Mary, to whom he dedicated his entire papacy.

In the Decree, the Vatican especially singles out his attention to the youth and lay people of the Church. I was lucky enough to see him in 2000 at World Youth Day in Rome, and it was the begining of a real awakening to my faith--and an awfully fun time! And his death marked the completion of that circle, a very difficult time in my life, but very rich spiritually, and also, ultimately, a lot of fun.

I have to be honest with you: I still tear up every time I read his final words, which, reportedly, he spoke to us--the youth.

I sought you out and now you come to me. Thank you.

Servant of God, John Paul II, pray for us!

Thou Shall Not Covet

2011-01-12T07:06:00.004-05:00

Oh, but how I do!

I (Might Not) Have a Dream

2011-01-10T08:04:00.000-05:00

I've heard a lot about resolutions in the past few weeks. The January issues of many magazines offer suggestions about how to stay organized, how to get healthy, how to shed those last few pounds. Talk shows also offer tips about financial responsibility, what's ahead in 2011, and how to "be the best version of yourself." This chatter about resolutions has gotten me thinking about my own life and my own dreams for it. And right now, I'm dream-less.

No, this is not pessimism. And no, it's not apathy. I have mini-resolutions already set for myself dealing with a whole slew of virtues to grow in and practical ways to do it. I'm talking about dreams for what's ahead, even in the next few years. For the first time in my life (well, since college), I've settled into a job, a city, and a social group. But unlike college, there's no necessary graduation date, nothing propelling me to look ahead, to set out in a new direction, to move beyond it.

I have a lot of friends with goals and dreams. Finish writing my dissertation. Finally pursue this or that degree. Get a promotion. Live abroad. I just feel, well, dream-less. Does that mean I'm not thirsty?

I wonder sometimes if I should be digging deeper in my soul, and searching for the next purpose. I'm wondering now if this is just laziness, or if in fact it is contentment. And if it is contentment, I'm wondering if the growth I do will just be here in this place and time, and not beyond it. It's a new feeling, and one that I'm not comfortable with, as I've always been driven in the pursuit of a goal. Now, point just seems to be.

Dear John

2011-01-06T21:29:00.004-05:00

I have been loving the readings at Mass this week, especially the first readings from 1 John.

This favorite token from yesterday:

"There is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear."

I have heard this so many times, I can't tell you. But yesterday, I just prayed and prayed about what fears are driving me on a daily basis. It is so clear to me that these fears, even if they are little, demonstrate that I don't trust God perfectly, so I don't love God perfectly. So much to work on...

And today:

"If anyone says, 'I love God,' but hates his brother, he is a liar; for whoever does not love a brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen."

I can think of a few people who make it very difficult for me to love them, but I also know that discipleship is not easy. I also know that if I love God, I must love them.

And lastly:

"And the victory that conquers the world is our faith." Just perfect.

Dear John,

I love you.

Julian

Merry Christmas!

2010-12-24T09:52:00.003-05:00

The Magdalene Sisters wish you and your loved ones a most Blessed Christmas season! We pray that the Incarnate Lord blesses you in whatever state in life you find yourself.

Stay tuned for some exciting changes from our little corner of the internet in the new year!

Blessings,
Julian, Edith, and Agatha

Work, work, work!

2010-12-21T07:07:00.000-05:00

These last few days of work before Christmas are, sometimes, utter agony. Everyone around me is wishing me a Merry Christmas, and I feel like a scrouge, because I have to spend 20 of the next 52 hours in the office getting a ton of work done. This then, is keeping me inline:

You have recieved God's call to a specific way: it is to be at all the crossroads of the world, while remaining all the while, and as you carry out your professional work, in God.
--Jose Maria Escriva, #748, The Forge

It's not Christmas yet. These next few days will be the intense, expectant, hard-working days of Advent. And when I arrive home, I'll rejoice. But first: to work.

Musings

2010-12-20T08:27:00.002-05:00

I haven't had much to say in recent weeks. It's not because work was busy (it was), or that social commitments were abounding (they were). I just haven't wanted to make time to write, as I didn't think I had anything profound or really important or interesting to say. But this morning I just wanted to. So, here goes.

I was over at Agatha's the other day, eating a most wonderful wintry dinner, and we were talking about life (as per usual). Agatha commented that our life situations hadn't really changed since this time last year, and I agreed. We're both still working at the same jobs, both still friends with the same people, no big ruptures or marriages or anything in our families, and, as per the subject of this blog, we're both still single. It made me think about whether or not I really had anything to contribute to this conversation anymore, if my life seemed to be following the "status quo." But this morning I decided that yes, the status quo is fine, because status quo doesn't mean stagnant. Much of the liturgical calendar is filled with "ordinary time," and if that is my life right now, then so be it. The ordinary parts of the life of a single person...working, providing for oneself, dating (crazy people, I might add!), deepening friendships, and growing with the Lord over seemingly insignificant (but in reality, heroic) things is just what we should be talking about.

My 2011 already looks like a promising one. Is my husband around the corner? Oh, who the heck knows. But I am going to take a course in Denver this summer on Salvation History to beef up my knowledge, I'm taking 30 girls to World Youth Day in Madrid, I'm going to welcome my first niece or nephew into the world, and I'm going to turn 27 --- a great age, if I do say so myself. It feels more distinguished than 26...don't know why, but it does, and several friends agree :) The upcoming year is sure to be filled with the mundane...grading, making dinner for one out of the contents of the fridge, paying bills, etc. But I know I will find the Lord in it all, because I did this year.

Papa B on Me!

2010-12-18T14:22:00.001-05:00

Well, not me, but my patroness :)

The End of a Good Feast Day

2010-12-14T21:02:00.003-05:00

For I know well the spring that flows and runs,

although it is night

1. That eternal spring is hidden,

for I know well where it has its rise

although it is night

2. I do not know its origin, nor has it one,

but I know that every origin has come from it

although it is night.

3. I know that nothing else is so beautiful,

and that the heavens and the earth drink there

although it is night.

4. I know well that it is bottomless

and no one is able to cross it,

although it is night.

5. Its clarity is never darkened,

and I know that every light has come from it

although it is night.

6. I know that its streams are so brimming

they water the lands of hell, the heavens, and earth

although it is night.

7. I know well the stream that flows from this spring

is mighty in compass and power

although it is night.

8. I know the stream proceeding from these two,

that neither of them in fact precedes it

although it is night

9. This eternal spring is hidden

in this living bread for our life's sake

although it is night.

10. It is here calling out to creatures;

and they satisfy their thirst,

although in darkness,

because it is night.

11. This living spring that I love for

I see in this bread of life,

although it is night.

-- St. John of the Cross, The Poetry

Immaculate Conception Novena Day 9

2010-12-08T12:00:00.000-05:00

Ave, Regina Coeli!

Today we honor Mary as Queen of Heaven and Earth - the Immaculate Conception from whom the Word made Flesh entered the world. This is a glorious feast, because Mary pre-figures the glory that is promised to us at the end of our lives. She was made totally pure, with no stain of sinfulness. Luke 1: 26-40

And in the sixth month, the angel Gabriel was sent from God into a city of Galilee, called Nazareth, To a virgin espoused to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David; and the virgin's name was Mary. And the angel being come in, said unto her: Hail, full of grace, the Lord is with thee: blessed art thou among women. Who having heard, was troubled at his saying, and thought with herself what manner of salutation this should be. [And the angel said to her: Fear not, Mary, for you have found grace with God.

Behold thou shalt conceive in thy womb, and shalt bring forth a son; and thou shalt call his name Jesus. He shall be great, and shall be called the Son of the most High; and the Lord God shall give unto him the throne of David his father; and he shall reign in the house of Jacob for ever. And of his kingdom there shall be no end. And Mary said to the angel: How shall this be done, because I know not man? And the angel answering, said to her: The Holy Ghost shall come upon thee, and the power of the most High shall overshadow thee. And therefore also the Holy which shall be born of thee shall be called the Son of God.

And behold thy cousin Elizabeth, she also hath conceived a son in her old age; and this is the sixth month with her that is called barren: Because no word shall be impossible with God. And Mary said: Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it done to me according to thy word. And the angel departed from her. And Mary rising up in those days, went into the hill country with haste into a city of Juda. And she entered into the house of Zachary, and saluted Elizabeth.

Let us rejoice, for she shows us the way! Her Immaculate Conception is our hope! O Felix Culpa, for had the apple not been taken by Adam and Eve, we would not have our glorious New Adam and New Eve!

Prayer

Opening Prayer

O God, who by the Immaculate Conception of the Blessed Virgin Mary, did prepare a worthy dwelling place for Your Son, we beseech You that, as by the foreseen death of this, Your Son, You did preserve Her from all stain, so too You would permit us, purified through Her intercession, to come unto You. Through the same Lord Jesus Christ, Your Son, who lives and reigns with You in the unity of the Holy Spirit, God, world without end. Amen.

Prayer for Day 9

O Mother of the King of the Universe, most perfect member of the human race, "our tainted nature’s solitary boast," we turn to you as mother, advocate, and mediatrix. O Holy Mary, assist us in our present necessity. By your Immaculate Conception, O Mary conceived without sin, we humbly beseech you from the bottom of our heart to intercede for us with your Divine Son and ask that we be granted the favor for which we now plead...

(State your intention here...)

O Mary of the Immaculate Conception, Mother of Christ, you had influence with your Divine Son while upon this earth; you have the same influence now in heaven. Pray for us and obtain for us from him the granting of my petition if it be the Divine Will. Amen.

From EWTN

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The Hardest Thing to Teach

2010-12-07T18:43:00.003-05:00

Every day my high school Catholic Bioethics class poses challenges for me -- some good, some bad, some I'm routinely able to answer, and some that are new and require me to think on my feet. I was recently asked by a colleague what the most difficult topic to teach is, and while I first thought it might be the case against homosexuality, it turns out that it is increasingly becoming artificial/assisted reproduction. I think this is posing a challenge for several reasons....some of which are related, others which are not.

1. The model of the family is now viewed by my students (age 18) as something archaic, or at the very best, something arbitrary. Or, if family matters, family is whatever one willingly determines it to be...deliberately two-parent, deliberately one-parent, purposefully gay, purposefully straight, etc. I asked them to think about whether or not the design of the body is something arbitrary...whether or not the fact that it takes a biological father and a biological mother to create new life. They don't see that fact as particularly meaningful..just a fact of science that can be manipulated so as to satisfy our desires (all the while ignoring its implications).

2. The second reason the Church's teaching on artificial reproduction is so difficult to sell is for the very fact that assessing these techniques as immoral seems to perpetuate the immense suffering that a faithful, heterosexual, Catholic couple might experience....the desire to act in accord with the natural law while being unable to give one another a biological child. Trying to explain why ART's might have a good object and intention but immoral technique is so difficult. This generation does not see the use of technology as something that might offend or threaten our very humanity -- they take it for granted and assume it is something morally good or morally neutral.

3. Some of the children that I'm teaching are the products of these technologies. Now, some of the students I teach have had abortions, and so there is a very real suffering and tension that takes place when we talk our way through that issue. But this topic poses another question, in that some begin to question their identity and origin. As a teacher who so thoroughly cares about these girls, it's difficult to watch them grapple with their parents' decisions, to hear that the means why which they were conceived are not justifiable, even while I stress that once conception takes place, no matter the means, one is infinitely loved by God and has been given an eternal end with Him.

It's just a hard thing to pull off...both a truthful yet pastorally sensitive approach to such a topic, because it deals with our humanity...our beginning, our desires, the desires of our parents, and the evaluation of and self-reflection regarding our personal ethics, which, if there is to be any progress, is bound to include growing pains.

Immaculate Conception Novena Day 8

2010-12-07T12:00:00.000-05:00

Ave, Stella Matutina!

Today we honor Mary, the Morning Star. We are so blessed to have Mary as a Mother who guides our way to Jesus. Like the prophets of the Old Testament, Mary trusts the Lord in all her needs. Her faith is made perfect by her love, and when she calls out to the Lord, He responds with tender love. Hosea 6: 1-3

In their affliction they will rise early to me: Come, and let us return to the Lord: For he hath taken us, and he will heal us: he will strike, and he will cure us. He will revive us after two days: on the third day he will raise us up, and we shall live in his sight. We shall know, and we shall follow on, that we may know the Lord. His going forth is prepared as the morning light, and he will come to us as the early and the latter rain to the earth.

We pray, Mary, that as our Mother and Morning Star, you will guide us to ever seek the will of God in our lives, as you too sought Him with perfect trust and perfect love.

Prayer

Opening Prayer

O God, who by the Immaculate Conception of the Blessed Virgin Mary, did prepare a worthy dwelling place for Your Son, we beseech You that, as by the foreseen death of this, Your Son, You did preserve Her from all stain, so too You would permit us, purified through Her intercession, to come unto You. Through the same Lord Jesus Christ, Your Son, who lives and reigns with You in the unity of the Holy Spirit, God, world without end. Amen.

Prayer for Day 8

O Most gracious Virgin Mary, beloved Mother of Jesus Christ, our Redeemer, intercede with him for us that we be granted the favor which we petition for so earnestly in this novena...O Mother of the Word Incarnate, we feel animated with confidence that your prayers in our behalf will be graciously heard before the throne of God. O Glorious Mother of God, in memory of your joyous Immaculate Conception, hear our prayers and obtain for us our petitions.

(State your intention here...)

O Mary of the Immaculate Conception, Mother of Christ, you had influence with your Divine Son while upon this earth; you have the same influence now in heaven. Pray for us and obtain for us from him the granting of my petition if it be the Divine Will.

From EWTN
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Immaculate Conception Novena Day 7

2010-12-06T12:00:00.001-05:00

Ave, Ianua Coeli!

Today we honor Mary, the Gate of Heaven. She is truly our gateway to the Lord, the one who reveals Him to us by saying Yes to giving Him her own holy flesh.

Psalm 23 [24]: 6-10

This is the generation of them that seek him, of them that seek the face of the God of Jacob. Lift up your gates, O ye princes, and be ye lifted up, O eternal gates: and the King of Glory shall enter in. Who is this King of Glory? the Lord who is strong and mighty: the Lord mighty in battle. Lift up your gates, O ye princes, and be ye lifted up, O eternal gates: and the King of Glory shall enter in. Who is this King of Glory? the Lord of hosts, he is the King of Glory.

Rejoice, for Mary shows us the way to our heavenly home!

Prayer

Opening Prayer

O God, who by the Immaculate Conception of the Blessed Virgin Mary, did prepare a worthy dwelling place for Your Son, we beseech You that, as by the foreseen death of this, Your Son, You did preserve Her from all stain, so too You would permit us, purified through Her intercession, to come unto You. Through the same Lord Jesus Christ, Your Son, who lives and reigns with You in the unity of the Holy Spirit, God, world without end. Amen.

Prayer for Day 7

O Immaculate Virgin, Mother of God, and my mother, from the sublime heights of your dignity turn your merciful eyes upon me while I, full of confidence in your bounty and keeping in mind your Immaculate conception and fully conscious of your power, beg of you to come to our aid and ask your Divine Son to grant the favor we earnestly seek in this novena... if it be beneficial for our immortal souls and the souls for whom we pray.

(State your intention here...)

O Mary of the Immaculate Conception, Mother of Christ, you had influence with your Divine Son while upon this earth; you have the same influence now in heaven. Pray for us and obtain for us from him the granting of my petition if it be the Divine Will.

From EWTN

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Immaculate Conception Novena Day 6

2010-12-05T12:00:00.001-05:00

Ave, Regina Angelorum!

Today we honor Mary as the Queen of All Angels! We should rejoice because Mary is Queen over all creation, and is higher than the Angels. She foreshadows the glory we shall have in the Beatific vision in communion with all creation. With the angels, she watches over us and guides ever closer to her Son.

Psalm 44 [45]: 8-12

You have loved justice, and hated iniquity: therefore God, your God, has anointed you with the oil of gladness above you fellows. Myrrh and stacte and cassia perfume your garments, from the ivory houses: out of which the daughters of kings have delighted you in your glory. The queen stood on your right hand, in gilded clothing; surrounded with variety.

Hearken, O daughter, and see, and incline your ear: and forget your people and your father's house. And the king shall greatly desire your beauty; for he is the Lord your God, and him they shall adore.

Let us rejoice in her glory with all the heavenly host! For she is our Mother who teaches us how to accept God's will for our lives.

Prayer

Opening Prayer

O God, who by the Immaculate Conception of the Blessed Virgin Mary, did prepare a worthy dwelling place for Your Son, we beseech You that, as by the foreseen death of this, Your Son, You did preserve Her from all stain, so too You would permit us, purified through Her intercession, to come unto You. Through the same Lord Jesus Christ, Your Son, who lives and reigns with You in the unity of the Holy Spirit, God, world without end. Amen.

Prayer for Day 6

Glorious and immortal Queen of Heaven, we profess our firm belief in your Immaculate Conception preordained for you in the merits of your Divine Son. We rejoice with you in your Immaculate Conception. To the one ever-reigning God, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, three in Person, one in nature, we offer thanks for your blessed Immaculate Conception. O Mother of the Word made Flesh, listen to our petition as we ask this special grace during this novena...

(State your intention here...)

O Mary of the Immaculate Conception, Mother of Christ, you had influence with your Divine Son while upon this earth; you have the same influence now in heaven. Pray for us and obtain for us from him the granting of my petition if it be the Divine Will. Amen.

From EWTN

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Immaculate Conception Novena Day 5

2010-12-04T12:00:00.002-05:00

Ave, Spes Nostra!

Today we honor Mary as Our Hope. Since she is our Mother, she is always observant of the who we are and our needs. This is so beautifully depicted in the wedding feast at Cana. Jn 2:1-5

And the third day, there was a marriage in Cana of Galilee: and the mother of Jesus was there. And Jesus also was invited, and his disciples, to the marriage. And the wine failing, the mother of Jesus said to him: They have no wine. And Jesus said to her: Woman, what is that to me and to you? my hour is not yet come. His mother said to the waiters: Whatsoever he shall say to you, do.

Mary has complete faith that Jesus will abide by her request. She observes the wedding of her beloved brethren, and seeking to keep them from the embarrassment of no wine, she turns to Her Son. And He obeys her request. She gives us hope that whatever problems we bring to her in prayer, she will bring to her Son. And He will grant her request. So when our situations seem hopeless, let us rejoice with the confidence that Mary, our Mother is also Our Hope.

Prayer

Opening Prayer
O God, who by the Immaculate Conception of the Blessed Virgin Mary, did prepare a worthy dwelling place for Your Son, we beseech You that, as by the foreseen death of this, Your Son, You did preserve Her from all stain, so too You would permit us, purified through Her intercession, to come unto You. Through the same Lord Jesus Christ, Your Son, who lives and reigns with You in the unity of the Holy Spirit, God, world without end. Amen.

Prayer for Day 5
O Lord, who, by the Immaculate Conception of the Virgin Mary, did prepare a fitting dwelling for your Son, we beseech you that as by the foreseen death of your Son, you did preserve her from all stain of sin, grant that through her intercession, we may be favored with the granting of the grace that we seek for at this time...

(State your intention here...)

O Mary of the Immaculate Conception, Mother of Christ, you had influence with your Divine Son while upon this earth; you have the same influence now in heaven. Pray for us and obtain for us from him the granting of my petition if it be the Divine Will. Amen.

From EWTN

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Immaculate Conception Novena Day 4

2010-12-03T12:00:00.000-05:00

Ave Maria, Refugium Peccatorum!

Today we honor Mary under the title 'Refuge of Sinners.' Since we should be spiritually like children, it is wonderful to know that Mary is our mother. And as a mother, she is a refuge of love in a hostile world that is so torn by sin. Mt 19:13-14

Then were little children presented to him, that he should impose hands upon them and pray. And the disciples rebuked them. But Jesus said to them: Let the children come unto me, and forbid them not: for the kingdom of heaven is for such.

What a great comfort it is to know that we can approach Jesus with the littleness of a child. And by the loving intercession of His Mother, we learn how to approach Him with that child-like love that defines our heavenly home.

Prayer

Opening Prayer

O God, who by the Immaculate Conception of the Blessed Virgin Mary, did prepare a worthy dwelling place for Your Son, we beseech You that, as by the foreseen death of this, Your Son, You did preserve Her from all stain, so too You would permit us, purified through Her intercession, to come unto You. Through the same Lord Jesus Christ, Your Son, who lives and reigns with You in the unity of the Holy Spirit, God, world without end. Amen.

Prayer for Day 4

O Mary, Mother of God, endowed in your glorious Immaculate Conception with the fullness of grace; unique among women in that you are both mother and virgin; Mother of Christ and Virgin of Christ, we ask you to look down with a tender heart from your throne and listen to our prayers as we earnestly ask that you obtain for us the favor for which we now plead...

(State your intention here...)

O Mary of the Immaculate Conception, Mother of Christ, you had influence with your Divine Son while upon this earth; you have the same influence now in heaven. Pray for us and obtain for us from him the granting of my petition if it be the Divine Will. Amen.

From EWTN

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The Perfect NYE

2010-12-03T08:00:00.000-05:00

So it's that time of year again - top 100 countdowns of 2010, planning the perfect holiday/NYE party, finding the perfect outfit for ringing in the New Year. Ever notice how the whole New Year's Eve thing is so...hyped about? In every movie and magazine, it is portrayed as one of the most romantic and special nights that should exist in the young 20-somethings life.

But Julian and I were talking the other day, and neither of us has had the movie/magazine perfect NYE. In fact, I have usually found it rather uneventful. When I did not have a date, I felt like I was missing out on something super special that I should have been experiencing. When I had a date, I was usually miserable with him...maybe I just needed a different date, ha. But seriously, for both Julian and I, the best New Year's memories we have are playing board games with family and drinking wine (and in my case, pomegranate mimosas) at home. And, we don't feel like we are missing out. Maybe one day we will have the perfect date, the perfect dress, and the perfect venue. But for now, perfection for the holidays means being with all those you love - and isn't that exactly what it's all about anyway? - After all, it is what we are looking forward to in eternity...

Why, Jesus, Why?

2010-12-02T22:38:00.004-05:00

This is a prayer I have oft repeated this year and will probably continue to repeat for my entire life. Like today, I prayed: Why, Jesus, why are so many children left feeling unloved and torn down by those who should love them unconditionally? Why, Jesus, why do some children feel they need to earn the love of their parents? And why, Jesus, why do those children try to fill their hurt with meaningless sex at such a young age and damage their souls so deeply? Why, Jesus, why?

Pray for those children, readers. They walk next to you and they need to know they are so very loved. Love them.

Immaculate Conception Novena Day 3

2010-12-02T12:00:00.001-05:00

Ave Maria, Mater Divinae Gratiae!

Today we honor Mary under the title of Mother of Divine Grace! Mary's Fiat to God's proposal brought grace to the world - O Felix Culpa to give us such a mother! Even her cousin Elizabeth could not help rejoicing at the sound of Mary's voice! Luke 1: 41-50

And it came to pass, that when Elizabeth heard the salutation of Mary, the infant leaped in her womb. And Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Ghost: And she cried out with a loud voice, and said: Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb. And whence is this to me, that the mother of my Lord should come to me? For behold as soon as the voice of thy salutation sounded in my ears, the infant in my womb leaped for joy. And blessed art thou that has believed, because those things shall be accomplished that were spoken to you by the Lord.

And Mary said: My soul magnifies the Lord. And my spirit has rejoiced in God my Saviour. Because he has regarded the humility of his handmaid; for behold from henceforth all generations shall call me blessed. Because he that is mighty, has done great things to me; and holy is his name. And his mercy is from generation unto generations, to them that fear him.

Let us too rejoice in Mary's Magnificat, because she is the Mother of Divine Grace that is given to us with each breath we take!

Prayer

Opening Prayer

O God, who by the Immaculate Conception of the Blessed Virgin Mary, did prepare a worthy dwelling place for Your Son, we beseech You that, as by the foreseen death of this, Your Son, You did preserve Her from all stain, so too You would permit us, purified through Her intercession, to come unto You. Through the same Lord Jesus Christ, Your Son, who lives and reigns with You in the unity of the Holy Spirit, God, world without end. Amen.

Prayer for Day 3

O Blessed Virgin Mary, glory of the Christian people, joy of the universal Church and Mother of Our Lord, speak for us to the Heart of Jesus, who is your Son and our brother. O Mary, who by your holy Immaculate Conception did enter the world free from stain, in your mercy obtain for us from Jesus the special favor which we now so earnestly seek...

(State your intention here...)

O Mary of the Immaculate Conception, Mother of Christ, you had influence with your Divine Son while upon this earth; you have the same influence now in heaven. Pray for us and obtain for us from him the granting of my petition if it be the Divine Will. Amen.

From EWTN

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Immaculate Conception Novena Day 2

2010-12-01T12:00:00.000-05:00

Ave Maria, Mater Ecclesiae!

Today we honor Mary under the title of "Mother of the Church." We know that Mary is the mother of the person of Christ, and from her he received the precious flesh that clothed Him. But we are His Body, His Church and she gives life to us by revealing the depth of His love. Matthew 12: 47-50:

And one said unto him: Behold your mother and your brethren stand without, seeking you. But he answering him, said: Who is my mother, and who are my brethren? And stretching forth his hand towards his disciples, he said: Behold my mother and my brethren. For whosoever shall do the will of my Father, that is in heaven, he is my brother, and sister, and mother.

Like Mary, we strive to the will of God always. May she help us in the pilgrim Church on earth as we say: Ave Maria, Mater Ecclesiae - Mater Nostra!

Prayer

Opening Prayer

O God, who by the Immaculate Conception of the Blessed Virgin Mary, did prepare a worthy dwelling place for Your Son, we beseech You that, as by the foreseen death of this, Your Son, You did preserve Her from all stain, so too You would permit us, purified through Her intercession, to come unto You. Through the same Lord Jesus Christ, Your Son, who lives and reigns with You in the unity of the Holy Spirit,
God, world without end. Amen.

Prayer for Day 2

O Mary, ever blessed Virgin, Mother of God, Queen of angels and of saints, we salute you with the most profound veneration and filial devotion as we contemplate your holy Immaculate Conception, We thank you for your maternal protection and for the many blessings that we have received through your wondrous mercy and most powerful intercession. In all our necessities we have recourse to you with unbounded confidence. O Mother of Mercy, we beseech you now to hear our prayer and to obtain for us of your Divine Son the favor that we so earnestly request in this novena...
(State your intention here...)

O Mary of the Immaculate Conception, Mother of Christ, you had influence with your Divine Son while upon this earth; you have the same influence now in heaven. Pray for us and obtain for us from him the granting of my petition if it be the Divine Will. Amen.

From EWTN

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Immaculate Conception Novena Day 1

2010-11-30T12:00:00.000-05:00

Ave Maria Stella Maris!

Today we honor the title of Mary as the Star of the Sea.

I think this title is one that we perhaps have a more difficult time understanding. But it might be helpful to recall that Mary's role in salvation as Christ's mother is to lead us to her son. And we know that Christ calms the storm on the sea: From Mt. 8:23-27

And when he entered into the boat, his disciples followed him: And behold a great tempest arose in the sea, so that the boat was covered with waves, but he was asleep. And they came to him, and awakened him, saying: Lord, save us, we perish. And Jesus said to them: Why are you fearful, O ye of little faith? Then rising up he commanded the winds, and the sea, and there came a great calm. But the men wondered, saying: What manner of man is this, for the winds and the sea obey him?

Christ calms the storm, and Mary leads us through the storm. She is a guiding light for us through the storms of sin and shows us that sinfulness is healed through grace given to us in abundance. Let us pray in thanksgiving - Ave Maria Stella Maris!

Prayer

Opening Prayer:

O God, who by the Immaculate Conception of the Blessed Virgin Mary, did prepare a worthy dwelling place for Your Son, we beseech You that, as by the foreseen death of this, Your Son, You did preserve Her from all stain, so too You would permit us, purified through Her intercession, to come unto You. Through the same Lord Jesus Christ, Your Son, who lives and reigns with You in the unity of the Holy Spirit,
God, world without end.

Amen.

Prayer for Day One

O most Holy Virgin, who was pleasing to the Lord and became His mother, immaculate in body and spirit, in faith and in love, look kindly on me as I implore your powerful intercession. O most Holy Mother, who by your blessed Immaculate Conception, from the first moment of your conception did crush the head of the enemy, receive our prayers as we implore you to present at the throne of God the favor we now request...

(State your intention here...)

O Mary of the Immaculate Conception, Mother of Christ, you had influence with your Divine Son while upon this earth; you have the same influence now in heaven. Pray for us and obtain for us from him the granting of my petition if it be the Divine Will.

Amen.

From EWTN:

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Quoted

2010-11-30T08:24:00.002-05:00

"The Cardinal has a particular bond with the virgin martyrs. They are a sterling example to him of how he is to love Christ and the Church, while, at the same time, they intercede powerfully for him, so that he may be a sign to the faithful of our Lord’s ceaseless and immeasurable love, ”to the end,” to the very outpouring of His life for us, on Calvary, His Sacrifice made ever present for us in the Holy Eucharist."

--His Excellency Raymond Cardinal Burke, in his homily at his Mass of Thanksgiving (HT).

Novena Prayer for the Immaculate Conception

2010-11-30T06:00:00.002-05:00

Today marks the beginning of the Novena to the Immaculate Conception. Since I have the this title of Our Lady in my name, this is a major feast day for me. I am praying the novena through St. Mary of the Angels parish in Chicago, IL where they are offering daily Mass and a meditation on nine of Our Lady's titles. I invite you to pray this with me and I will be posting a little prayer reflection with Our Lady's title for that day at 12 noon (Central Time) each day of the novena. What a way to kick off our Advent celebration!

TV's Latest Low

2010-11-29T14:37:00.005-05:00

I admit it...I was flipping through one of the various celebrity gossip magazines to get the scoop on the royal engagement between Prince William and Catherine Middleton (my chances of being a princess have now been severely diminished...shucks). Anyway, while flipping through, I saw an ad for a new reality TV show - Bridal Plasty - where brides to be compete with each other to get the grand prize - plastic surgery for the big day.

Not much about this world shocks me anymore...but this is TV's and the wedding industry's greatest low point to date, I'd say. Here's what I have to say to this: Dear World: Thank you for reminding me once again why as a Christian, I am in the world and not of it. Lord help us all. Amen.

A Prayer for Advent from the Holy Father

2010-11-29T10:06:00.003-05:00

Domenico Beccafumi (1545)

This basically covers everything:

Lord Jesus,
You who faithfully visit and fulfill with your Presence
the Church and the history of men;
You who in the miraculous Sacrament of your Body and Blood
render us participants in divine Life
and allow us a foretaste of the joy of eternal Life;
We adore and bless you.

Prostrated before You, source and lover of Life,
truly present and alive among us, we beg you:

Reawaken in us respect for every unborn life,
make us capable of seeing in the fruit of a mother's womb
the miraculous work of the Creator,
open our hearts to generously welcoming every child
that comes into life.

Bless all families,
sanctify the union of spouses,
make fruitful their love.

Accompany the choices of legislative assemblies
with the light of your Spirit,
so that peoples and nations may recognise and respect
the sacred nature of life, of every human life.

Guide the work of scientists and doctors,
so that all progress contributes to the integral well-being of the person,
and no one endures suppression or injustice.

Gift creative charity to administrators and economists,
so they may realise and promote sufficient conditions
so that young families can serenely embrace
the birth of new children

Console married couples who suffer
because they are unable to have children
and in Your goodness provide for them.

Teach us all to care for orphaned or abandoned children,
so they may experience the warmth of your Love,
the consolation of your divine Heart.

Together with Mary, Your Mother, the great believer,
in whose womb you took on our human nature,
we wait to receive from You, our Only True Good and Savior,
the strength to love and serve life,
in anticipation of living forever in You,
in communion with the Blessed Trinity.
Amen.

Being Contra-Contraception

2010-11-26T07:58:00.005-05:00

Edith's post on the pope, the media, and condoms is so good, and one that I need to respond to at length. There has been so much discussion on this in and out of the Church. My students, colleagues, friends, and friends on Facebook (huge distinction...topic for another time) all have been buzzing about it. All that I can think to ask is, "Does anyone feel like they don't want to hear the word 'condom' anymore?"

However, the issue of contracpetion rang a little closer to home this holiday weekend, and kind of pierced my heart. I think it's a safe wager that I might be one of the the only members of my family, both immediate and extended, who supports the magisterial teaching on contraception. And it's a hard place to be in, as my friends begin to have children and as (though I'm not currently in a serious relationship), my family asks me things about how I would have children should I be in that position. There are comments passed because my friends are having their third or fourth child, or how it will probably be difficult for me to settle down with a man if I don't compromise on the birth control issue, which, though stated out of ignorance and out of love, still cuts to the heart of who I am as a Catholic woman, faithful to our beliefs out of joyful obedience and a rich understanding of why we believe what we do.

I know this issue was a huge issue to grapple with for my parents' generation, who was poorly catechized and who had to navigate their way through the sexual revolution, the implementation of Vatican II teachings, and of course, their own relationships and sexual experiences. And since the beauty of this teaching was not really made clear (in my theological opinion) in a way paralleled to the Theology of the Body at the end of the last century, moral confusion and cloudy judgments about assent of our mind and will abound. I try to be cheerful and joyful when explaining the why and the what of our beliefs, but it's not always met with understanding. Sometimes I wonder if my parents or my sibling or my cousins will ever fully understand who I am. Maybe that is the real question I'm asking: How much of a 'cause of division' is the Lord even within family members who all profess belief? How do I avoid the sin of pride or the passing of judgment on others close to me, who have a very deep faith and relationship with the Lord, too?

Dont' get me wrong; I don't walk around with a book charting who believes what in my family. I just feel a little bit of a sting when it's suggested that I'm too rigid or uncompromising when it comes to certain doctrines. I can't pull out theological discourse on the subject (this one has one of the best explanations of Humane vitae, in my opinion) at the dinner table. I suppose I can only witness it in my own life. And since I am not now in a position to be open to new life, I'd better find other ways to demonstrate what this looks like for the single woman.

The Pope, The Press, and Condoms

2010-11-24T11:06:00.005-05:00

Ok, so if you are like me, you are so sick of hearing about the 'seismic' or 'cataclysmic' shift the Pope has magically taken on the use of condoms. 'Condoms are the moral solution to stop AIDS according to Pope!' cheerfully declares the press. The Pope's latest books Light of the World was released this week, and as you can see, the press has had a field day. With an article out every day since for nearly a week pretty much saying the Pope is changing the discourse on condom use, it's no wonder people are confused. I am.

Here is what I found out. First of all, the statement was made in regard to Pope Benedict's 2009 trip to Africa when he was lambasted by the press for the Church's "oppressive" stance on contraception. (Little does the world realize that contraception oppresses them, especially the women!) Anyway, the question was posed to Benedict by Peter Seewald as follows: On the occasion of your trip to Africa in March 2009, the Vatican’s policy on AIDs once again became the target of media criticism.Twenty-five percent of all AIDs victims around the world today are treated in Catholic facilities. In some countries, such as Lesotho, for example, the statistic is 40 percent. In Africa you stated that the Church’s traditional teaching has proven to be the only sure way to stop the spread of HIV. Critics, including critics from the Church’s own ranks, object that it is madness to forbid a high-risk population to use condoms.

Benedict went on to discuss his frustration that the press did not highlight the rest of his statement, wherein he announced the Church's continuing to commitment to being one of the only institutions that treats AIDS victims with continued support and dignity...think Mother Theresa, for example. While Benedict does indeed state that perhaps condoms can help stop the spread of AIDS, the use of condoms does not ask or answer the right question about human sexuality. According to Peter Seewald, the right question that Benedict challenges us to ask is "Does sexuality have something to do with love?" It seems quite simple, but in today's world, this is no longer a simple question to ask.

Janet Smith offers a great commentary on the statement which you can find here. And I'll post an excerpt:

What is Pope Benedict saying?

We must note that the example that Pope Benedict gives for the use of a condom is a male prostitute; thus, it is reasonable to assume that he is referring to a male prostitute engaged in homosexual acts. The Holy Father is simply observing that for some homosexual prostitutes the use of a condom may indicate an awakening of a moral sense; an awakening that sexual pleasure is not the highest value, but that we must take care that we harm no one with our choices. He is not speaking to the morality of the use of a condom, but to something that may be true about the psychological state of those who use them. If such individuals are using condoms to avoid harming another, they may eventually realize that sexual acts between members of the same sex are inherently harmful since they are not in accord with human nature. The Holy Father does not in any way think the use of condoms is a part of the solution to reducing the risk of AIDs. As he explicitly states, the true solution involves “humanizing sexuality.”

Anyone having sex that threatens to transmit HIV needs to grow in moral discernment. This is why Benedict focused on a “first step” in moral growth. The Church is always going to be focused on moving people away from immoral acts towards love of Jesus, virtue, and holiness. We can say that the Holy Father clearly did not want to make a point about condoms, but wants to talk about growth in a moral sense, which should be a growth towards Jesus.

I am challenging myself to read this entire book and to get to know our beloved Pontiff better. He challenges us to be a light to the world and to ask those simple questions that have become so obscure in the vision of the world. Pray for him!

Photo

Where Have All the People Gone?

2010-11-22T08:00:00.000-05:00

As I was walking to gym tonight, I glanced into the window of the pharmacy that stands next door. They had just recently finished some construction, and I peered inside to see what they did. I looked and saw five self-checkout registers. I thought to myself, "I want people back."

It started with automated prompts and computer-generated voices on the other end of the phone line. Speaking to an actual operator (mind you, already once-removed from real life) became great feat. Then the post office got machines that distribute stamps instead of people who you can chat about the different options with, how his day was going, and if he was going to do anything fun for the holiday break. The grocery store dropped its cashiers, too, although sometimes an annoyed checkout boy will help you when your self-checkout voice yells at you about your method of payment. The problem is, you can't talk back. And now, the pharmacy has gone the way of the world, too.

I have to ask: where have all of the people gone? Is anyone else noticing that our existence is becoming less and less imbued with real, live people? Human interaction is almost at a premium today, let alone meaningful human interaction. It's starting to feel really depressing.

As Christians who value incarnate relationships, I think we need to work doubly hard to make eye contact with people, even strangers, and to genuinely, thoroughly, and sincerely forge relationships. Otherwise, we're just checking ourselves out at the register, hoping for a little more than "Please remember to take your receipt" from our virtual friends.

Getting Me Through My Thursday

2010-11-18T08:58:00.001-05:00

“Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.
And let us not grow weary in well-doing, for in due season
we shall reap, if we do not lose heart.
So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all men…”
--Galatians 6:2, 9-10 (via MM)

A Little Aspiration

2010-11-17T06:10:00.003-05:00

Sometimes I'm in need of little aspirations to pray throughout the day. I also tape them to my podium at school to remind me of why I do what I do. This past Sunday, the last line of the Gospel might as well have been introduced by a loud clashing of cymbals or a bang of a gong:

"By your perseverance, you will save your lives." --Luke 21:19

I felt as if the Holy Spirit was saying directly to me, "Keep going in your work. Keep persevering in your waiting on your vocation. Give me the small details of the day, the mundane aspects of your routine, because they matter to me."

Monday's Mass was no less direct:

"When he [the blind man] came near, Jesus asked him, 'What do you want me to do for you?'" --Luke 18:35-43

Could Jesus really be asking this of me, too? I felt comfort in approaching my Lord with petitions deepest on my heart (something I struggle with). I suppose my prayer is similar to that of the man -- "Lord, let me see."

I hope you, too, find your prayers to ask and the answers to them in the Word this very day.

A Mighty Fortress is our God, a Bulwark never Failing

2010-11-15T17:42:00.004-05:00

A Mighty Fortress is Our God is one of my favorite German hymns, written by none other than my favorite German Protestant, Martin Luther. Well, I take that back. My favorite German Protestant is actually Dietrich Bonhoeffer. I don't actually like Luther too much, but I do like his hymns! So despite that fact that he created a serious rift in the Church and gave us some theology so poor that we are still divided over it, I am sure his fabulous hymns must have earned Luther some brownie points with God.

But this is not about Luther or Bonhoeffer for that matter; it is about God - who is a mighty fortress indeed. He showed that to me this week in several ways that I thought I'd just share with you all. First, I found out last week that a paper proposal that I submitted to a major national conference in my discipline got accepted! I have made proposals similar to this before, and each time they have been rejected. The only conference participation I have on my resume is one joint paper and discussion leader. Kind of sparse for someone who wants her job to be giving lectures and writing. So I dove in with wild abandon, because I have been dragging my feet on my academic life! But please keep me in your prayers!

Second, I also got a teaching opportunity at a local university for next spring! Just one class, so it's not too demanding but still gets me into the classroom! YAY!

Third, I have been feeling so...just blah...in my prayer life and as a result I have been going to confession every week just to get some spiritual direction (and to confess, of course) but I already kind of know the answers. But God has given me people in my life who are wonderful examples (like my Magdalene Sisters and my family!) who have been placed amongst my new and old acquaintances who have really expressed answers to my prayers in a powerful way this week.

One is my new friend Kelsea* She is a supernumerary at Opus Dei and is such a prayerful, lovely young woman who has re-revealed to me in a powerful the way God communicates with us through prayer and does so especially for those who trust in him. Kelsea comes to Him in prayer with everything in her life, and even though she struggles with worry and doubt sometimes (don't we all), she ultimately just lets go and lets God have control of her heart, mind, will, and life. I think it's awesome and I am so glad God hit me over the head this past week with the witness she (unknowingly) gave to me.

A second example is an old friend of mine from Louisiana - and we'll call him Mr. Boudreaux*. I met Mr. Boudreaux when I was helping out with RCIA at my old parish in Baton Rouge. I loved doing this, but soon kind of drifted away from that parish to a new one after I met Peter...the new parish was one that he liked better...just another way he sought to isolate me from those who really loved me. Mr. Boudreaux would call me just to say hi and I'd say it's been probably about a year or so since I have seen him or heard from him. Today, out of the blue I got a call from him. He said he was just thinking of me and wanted to know how I was doing. He also told me that the right man was waiting for me - and was coming very soon. He told me to start praying to St. Philomena for this intention and he felt God would answer me right away. What I have not told you is that just this afternoon, I was contemplating whether to pray a novena to jump start my prayer life. God answered me immediately after I left work.

So, see, God is a mighty fortress, always there for us and waiting to give us answers when we call. And even He is even waiting to give answers to people like me, who probably doesn't call on Him as often as she should.

*Names have been changed for privacy

I Love Fall.

2010-11-12T17:51:00.002-05:00

Autumn is my favorite time of year. Here are some reasons why:

*apple cider

*cozy sweaters

*cooler weather

*leaves!

*pumpkins in the grocery stores

You?

The Climb (a dream)

2010-11-11T08:01:00.000-05:00

Your name was my first thought this morning as I rose. I was filled with remembrance of my dream--so strong and tense, but not bad or unwelcome.

We had risen together, and wandered around the old city (which? I do not know. But it was familiar, grey, and old--like a tourist photograph of an untouched medieval town). You wanted to start the climb, but I held back.

Finally our number was called (we had a number, C9), and we joined our starting group. We were right up front, at the foot of the steep hill. The crowds in front of us began, like at a marathon. We waited, expectant, holding hands, I think (or is that a daylight wish embellishing my stark dream?).

I woke as we took our first step, my thoughts full of you.

But, upon reflection in the cold morning light, I realized that I was not I, and you were not you. I clenched my jaw, and rose for the day.

Feminists for Life

2010-11-09T19:01:00.002-05:00

Yesterday, I had the pleasure of attending a lecture where Serrin Foster, President of Feminists for Life was speaking, and I then had the honor of speaking with her in a more intimate setting over dinner with some other university students. It was awesome! Her talk centered around the theme that feminist philosophy is simply incompatible with the practice of abortion. Sound crazy? Yes, it does, because contemporary feminists - those of the second and third waves of feminism fixated on 'reproductive' rights and 'control' over their 'destinies' by controlling their bodies.

Well, perhaps this is some truth to this. After all, no woman should be subjected to being a sexual object or to having her body used in inappropriate ways by a man - even if it is her husband. But also, she should not allow herself to treat her body inappropriately. Feminists for Life argue that abortion is the most tragically inappropriate treatment of a woman. They believe that it simply goes against what the first feminists sought to establish, viz. equality for all. After all, some of the first feminists, such as Susan B. Anthony and Elizabeth Cady Stanton were abolitionists who sought out justice for those enslaved because of their race and for those discriminated against because they were women. And both women (as well as many others) felt abortion was not the solution to the discrimination of women in society.

Susan B. Anthony in her publication entitled Revolution stated about abortion: “I deplore the horrible crime of child murder … We want prevention, not merely punishment." (taken from here) This quote encapsulates the philosophy behind Feminists for Life - to seek preventative measures so that women do not feel pressured to have an abortion. One of their major activities is to establish resources for pregnant women on college campuses. They even work together with pro-choice groups to attain these ends! Read their story about what they did at Georgetown University here. This group is doing what I want to do: giving women other choices, so they don't feel like abortion is their only option. Pray for me as I seek out a way of living out this vocation too! We all are called to help one another, especially because we all deserve better than abortion.

"Lord, Increase Our Faith"

2010-11-08T21:37:00.005-05:00

Today's Gospel shows us the apostles asking the Lord to "increase their faith." I can just see them, imploring Jesus to work this miracle in their hearts. Perhaps it is because it the prayer, or aspiration, that is most on my lips these days. Lord, increase my faith. Increase my faith in this time of waiting. Increase my faith in the uncertainty surrounding my vocation, my state of life, my job, my relationships, and my trust in your faithfulness and fidelity to me.

I found the reflection by Catherine de Hueck Doherty in today's Magnificat particularly helpful:

"Faith is to believe without understanding, without seeing. God has blessed us with the gift of our intellect, and up to a point we understand many things about ourselves and the world around us. However, when you begin to move deeper into faith, something strange happens.

You have been walking in the sunshine of your intellect. God has helped you and encouraged you to use it. Then, just like in the tropics where there is no twilight and the day becomes night within minutes, so God plunges you into the night. He says, 'Put your head in your heart and believe! For now there is no answer. I am the answer. You won't see me in the dark. You will have to follow me in faith, without knowing. Arise and believe.'

There is a tremendous secret in God's ways of doing things if we do follow him across that dark night of the tropics, of the soul. There will be a moment, maybe just before death, or in the midst of life, or maybe when we are at a very tender age. At this moment he will appear. He will just be there. What you knew by your own intellect has blended together with what was added to you because you believed and walked in the darkness of night. You have entered into the fullness of the kingdom of God even before your death. The kingdom of God is in your midst now. "

Ten Minute Break

2010-11-06T09:17:00.002-04:00

It is amazing to me how important ten minutes of silence in the presence of God can be. I used to be diligent about carving out 15 minutes of contemplative prayer in the morning and 15 minutes more in the afternoon to be centered in and with God. These three books were immensely helpful in learning the practice of Christian contemplation.

Years have gone by since I have been so diligent. And now, the Holy Spirit is impelling me to begin the practice again...even for ten minutes twice a day. Pray for me that I can commit to this practice.

Totally, Thoroughly, Unabashedly Girly Post

2010-11-05T08:00:00.000-04:00

I just really like this dress :)

Quote of the Day

2010-11-04T08:50:00.000-04:00

The more secular the place, the more powerful the manifestation of His presence becomes. When you seek God inside a church, you have a greater expectation of His response. But when you seek Him in what seem like unlikely places, His presence is all the more amazing. You begin to not just experience God's presence simply confined to a church, or in your 10 minutes of prayer time, but walking with you step-by-step, each street you cross, each smile you encounter, each tender word you hear, enveloping you with His spirit.

--Maria

The Habit

2010-11-02T09:00:00.001-04:00

"One cold January I was at our sister monastery in the Bronx and had accompanied another nun who had business in NYC. My first trip to the Big Apple! The prioress had insisted that we have a little treat so we stopped in a café, anxious to get warm with a cup of coffee.

Imagine the scene: a little café full of people, either bustling about or chatting at tables while warming their frozen hands around steaming cups of java. Two nuns walk through the door and it seems like all eyes turn their way. One patron calls out, 'Sisters, you have made a lot of people happy today!'

We smiled our biggest smiles, the words warming our frozen cheeks. But what does one say to that?

I felt so small, so human, and so humbled that I just wanted to drop down on the floor and say, 'I'll try harder, I promise!'"

--From a wonderful, lovely article about wearing the habit, by Sr. Mary Catherine of Jesus, a cloistered Dominican nun (in Summit New Jersey). By the way, you can purchase a lot of lovely gifts from these sisters for Christmas presents. (HT)

My Favorite Month of Prayer

2010-11-01T21:02:00.003-04:00

I have NO idea why , but I love the doctrine of purgatory. I wrote a thesis on purgative suffering. And I love the month of November, because I get to meditate on it all month long. I mean really, who am I?

I hope you will join me, readers, in praying for the faithful departed, who await their eternal reward of seeing the Lord face to face. I have a few dear ones especially to remember this month. Let us know who of your loved ones we can remember.

Also, if you get a chance, pick up this book and pray the month-long novena. It's really so beautiful.

May the souls of the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace. Amen.

All Saints!

2010-11-01T08:06:00.001-04:00

Ye Watchers and Ye Holy Ones
Words: John A. L. Riley
Music: Lasst Uns Erfreuen, (Germany, 1623); harmony by Ralph Vaughan Williams, 1906
Played by Healey Willan (1880-1968), on the organ of St Mary Magdalene, Toronto

Breast Cancer Awareness Month Comes to an End. Let's Reflect.

2010-10-29T22:27:00.003-04:00

I hope you will take time to consider the following article by Jenn Giroux from today's Zenit new source. I re-post here in full, because it needs to be heard! And spread the word to the women you love!

Is Abortion and Hormonal Contraception a Prescription for Breast Cancer?
By Jenn Giroux

CINCINNATI, Ohio, OCT. 29, 2010 (Zenit.org).- Everywhere I looked this month I saw a pink ribbon. It was on my dry cleaning bag, grocery bag, coffee cup, mail catalogs, receipts, billboards … it goes on and on. Don't get me wrong. I love the color pink, and breast cancer prevention and finding a cure is critical to women today. However, I also love the truth.

That is why October 2010 is a good time to take Breast Cancer Awareness Month to a whole new level with some facts which can lead to both the physical and spiritual health of women in America and across the world.

We live in the world of media messaging where the one with the most money and the loudest message wins the day. What is the "Race for the Cure"? Why are we not being told the truth about the real risks and prevention for breast cancer? According to the SEER data at the National Cancer Institute, there has been a 400% increase in noninvasive -- or "in situ" (in the same place) -- breast cancer in pre-menopausal women since 1975. How do abortion, hormone replacement therapy, and hormonal contraception factor into the equation?

For years, abortion, hormonal replacement therapy and hormonal contraception have been largely ignored by most of the medical community and the media in general as significant risk factors for breast cancer. However, studies have consistently concluded that breast cancer risk increases as a result of these three factors.

Researchers in Iran have published results of a new study showing that women who have had an abortion face a 193% increased risk of breast cancer. This has to do with the interruption of breast tissue development during pregnancy. It is important to note that this (and other studies like it) have nothing to do with a person's belief in abortion. It has everything to do with the scientifically undeniable development and growth of breast tissue within a woman's body. There are many other studies that have been published as well that confirm that abortion presents increased risk to women for breast cancer, and that confirm that carrying a baby to full term provides a natural protection to the mother if the pregnancy is not unnaturally interrupted.

For years, doctors have been prescribing hormone replacement therapy for women who experience hot flashes and periods of sweating in menopause. The widespread belief was that these hormones would not only reduce a woman's risk for heart disease but also keep her "youthful, sexy, and healthy." This week the New York Times reported that studies have now confirmed that taking these hormones not only increases breast cancer risk, but "also make it more likely that the cancer will be advanced and deadly" (New York Times, Oct. 19, 2010).

This revelation, finally being recognized by the mainstream medical community and media, makes our final topic on hormonal contraception downright frightening.

Obstetricians and gynecologists across the country freely encourage long-term use of hormonal contraception such as "the Pill," the intrauterine device (IUD) Mirena, NuvaRing, Yaz, Yasmin, and all forms of emergency contraception without giving adequate attention to the short- and long-term side effects. Pediatricians have also joined in on this by encouraging mothers to place their young daughters on "the Pill" to help with acne or to relieve monthly menstrual cramps. Recently, a college student shared with me that inside her dorm, cell phones go off in the early morning hours as a reminder to the girls to take their birth control pills. This was at a Catholic college.

The number of young women on "the Pill" is alarming. Have these girls been told that "the Pill" has been classified as a Group 1 carcinogen by the International Agency on Research for Cancer, a research arm of the World Health Organization? Are women in general being informed that any form of hormonal (estrogen-progestin combination) birth control (including "the Pill," the patch, Depo-Provera, Norplant, Ortho Vera Patch, or any others on the market) are actually increasing risk for breast, cervical, and liver cancer?

The sad reality is that any woman who takes a hormonal contraceptive for four years prior to her first full-term pregnancy increases her risk for breast cancer by 52%. It is worth noting that this same research arm of the World Health Organization also places "the Pill" in the same category with asbestos and cigarettes.

The difference is the dose

So, you may ask, what is the difference between the hormones that are given to women during menopause, which cause deadly breast cancer, and the hormones that are given to young women in the form of "the Pill"? The answer is shocking. The hormones in the drugs are the same. The only difference is in the dose that is given to the younger women and girls. It is necessary to give a much higher dose than that given in hormone replacement therapy because younger women have active, healthy ovaries. Does this give better context to the 400% increase in "in situ" breast cancer in pre-menopausal women since 1975?

In order to silence the public discussion of the harms of contraception we have often been told that we are pushing our "Catholic" views on women. This has effectively kept many health care providers and pro-life groups silent on this issue. Do you know what has nothing to do with being Catholic? Experiencing breast cancer in your 30s, having a stroke in college, or having an undetected and sudden blood clot that results in permanent health damage or death are life-threatening side effects that visit women of all faiths.

Women deserve to know the truth. They have been failed by physicians in not being warned of the physical damage that they are doing to their bodies, and they have been failed by their priests in not being warned of the spiritual damage that they are doing to their souls.

The New York Times article on Oct. 19 published information by "The Journal of the American Medical Association" that is a real breakthrough and victory for women's health. The exposure of this important medical information further reveals the outrage of Komen for the Cure giving $7.5 million back to Planned Parenthood in 2009. This was money from trustful donors who were unaware that they, indeed, gave to a cause working against the cure of breast cancer. Clearly, both abortion and hormonal contraception, a huge source of Planned Parenthood's income, are contributing risk factors for breast cancer.

October 2010 is the time to recognize the seamless pink ribbon that connects breast cancer with abortion, hormonal contraception and hormone replacement therapy. It is only then that we can get on with true prevention and, God willing, finish the race for the truth, which will then pave the path for the cure.

* * *

Jenn Giroux is the executive director of HLI America, a program of Human Life International. She is a registered nurse, wife, and mother of nine. She and her husband, Dan, live with their family in Cincinnati, Ohio. For more information go to hliamerica.org.

Waiting

2010-10-28T14:28:00.004-04:00

"All of us belong to a crossed species, even our Lady. The foremost handmaid of the Lord wanted some details, some explanation of God's doings. "Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord." But also: "How shall this be done? I know not man." And the angel's reply was hardly something to answer the human question satisfactorily. "The Holy Spirit shall come upon thee." But who is the Holy Spirit? "And the Holy to be born of you shall be called the Son of God." These are scarcely explanations that would have elicited a reply of "Oh, I see." No, she did not see."

--Mother Mary Francis, in Come Lord Jesus: Meditations on the Art of Waiting

The Annunciation (1898), by Henry Ossawa Tanner

"You Must Teach Them How to Use Their Freedom"

2010-10-26T00:18:00.004-04:00

I am volunteering for a tutoring center that helps inner city girls do well in school, forms good study habits and good character, and helps the girls build skills to get them into college. The center focuses on girls from grades 4-12. My job is that of an 'adviser' to girls in 11th and 12th grade. No easy task. First, I have five girls I need to chat with for about 20 minutes each (and really, do you know me!?! 20 minutes only!?) and I basically talk to them about what is going on in life. I am to help them instill the cardinal (and theological) virtues in their lives. An even more difficult task.

Last week, we advisers had a training session with a priest who said something very profound that I have been mulling over all weekend. He told us that so often we (as human beings, that is) try to force people into the mold of what we think is right. We tell them ‘Do it this way, Say that, Don’t do this,’ etc. But he said, we cannot do that. For these girls and for all in our lives – we are to teach them how to use their freedom. They will do what they will do because they are simply free to do it. But our responsibility is to teach them how to use their freedom – how to be free. That is really, really hard. And who among us is not enslaved to some bad habit or annoying behavior? Is that not the very essence of sin – to be enslaved and to stifle our own freedom? How do you teach someone how to be free?

So far, I can only come up with this solution: “For you shall know the Truth and the Truth shall make you free.” Christ is Truth and by giving these girls that Truth, they will learn how to use their freedom. It's a delicate balance, I think, between imposition and informed guidance in freedom. And it is a line that I think, especially in jobs of education (and higher education) that we often see very blurred. For example, yesterday Julian spoke of the Gospel of Tolerance that insidiously affects us all. It's the gospel that I see these girls living by. As I said above, they are indeed free to do as they will. And they will often times choose to do the wrong thing. But it is by constantly bearing the person of Christ to them that we can show them (and ourselves) how to live freely.

The Gospel of Tolerance

2010-10-24T20:56:00.003-04:00

I would love to write an essay on this topic, but teaching and extracurricular activities preclude me from it right now. However, I can post, and so, here goes.

Any thoughtful Catholic is aware of the "gospel of tolerance" that is being preached by our brothers and sisters in the Church. It's the "good news" that all are invited to the table of the Lord, because we can no longer call anything a sin if it can be attributed to nature. Since God created us as we are, we should allow everyone to be as they are, and to respect their life choices, lifestyles, and life trajectories. Live and let (others) live.

Somewhere or another, people are saying that this is a central tenant of Jesus' own message and preaching.

This "gospel" is poisonous for the Christian, in that it takes something good (refraining from one person passing judgment on another person's soul) but mixes that up with evaluating and judging actions, which is in fact, a moral imperative. We are called to evaluate moral action, character, and sin so as to elevate each other and ourselves to perfection in Christ. I am hearing this "gospel" preached from the pulpit, discussed at meetings (even at reputable Catholic institutions), and of course, from my students who think that any statement on morality is a statement of intolerance, bigotry, or closemindedness.

I'm at a loss right now as to how to convey how the tolerance of Christ is not equated with moral relativism. The truth is, that Jesus does no condemn us but at the same time elevates us to perfection. It's right here, in the actual gospel. How else can we convey that "anything and everything goes" is not, in fact, what Christ says? How can we talk about nature and its proper end?

Some Words to Live By

2010-10-23T06:00:00.000-04:00

"He remains, being tempted in all those who are tempted, in those who are in mortal sin, He is in the tomb. We should never come to a sinner without the reverence that we would take to the Holy Sepulchre."

Reflect on it.

Caryll Houselander, The Reed of God

Photo Credit

Creative Solitude

2010-10-22T10:01:00.004-04:00

T. F. Simon, "Vilma Reading a Book", 1912

"I seek to see my own moments of loneliness as an opportunity to enter more deeply into communion with Christ, and to allow Christ to transform loneliness into holy, fruitful, creative solitude."

--Maria (emphasis mine)

Woman Warrior: St. Mary MacKillop

2010-10-19T08:37:00.000-04:00

This weekend Pope Benedict XVI canonized six saints, including the great Br. André (of Montreal), and St. Mary MacKillop, the first Australian born saint. According to reports, Australia had quite a party celebrating Sr. Mary of the Cross.

The first nun, and mother superior of the Josephite Sisters, Mary MacKillop is also somewhat of a rarity in the canon of saints--she was excommunicated for "insubordination" by a bishop. (Her excommunication lasted less than a year.)

The story goes as follows:

But the full story is that Mary MacKillop was excommunicated out of "revenge," in the words of one priest familiar with her life, for uncovering a case of sex abuse by a Father Keating, in a nearby parish. Paul Gardiner, S.J., the former postulator of MacKillop's canonization process, told an Australian television documentary a few days ago, "Priests being annoyed that somebody had uncovered it--that would probably be the way of describing it--and being so angry that the destruction of the Josephites was decided on." A statement from the Sisters of St. Joseph has confirmed that the documentary's reports are "consistent with" studies of the event.

--James Martin, S.J. in America Magazine via The Deacon's Bench. Read the whole story here.

She was clearly a remarkable woman, and a wonderful reminder to us that not only is there a role for women in the Church, but that we have something powerful to fight for: the protection of innocence in all its forms through our witness to the faith.

Superfreaks

2010-10-18T06:35:00.003-04:00

Has any ever written to a television station? Because I'm really close to doing so. I'm fed up with virginity being construed as some sort of deviation from nature.

As I was unpacking the last remnants of my trip to France this week, I decided to put on mindless television in the background, namely, Grey's Anatomy. Why? I have no idea. For some reason I'm still holding out hope that this show will touch on very human pain and redemption, but instead, it just riles me up.

One of the latest episodes was entitled, "Superfreak," and intended to tackle the fact that all of us, no matter how put together we seem, struggle with some sort of neurosis or fact about ourselves which can make us feel like a "freak," or just really odd. Someone suffered from arachnophobia, another from PTSD, and another....from being a 28-year-old virgin. As a 26-year-old virgin, I was infuriated, mostly because the young woman didn't seem to be bothered by it, until she was ceaselessly taunted by her colleagues and mocked during several of the vignettes.

My virginity is not something that I am ashamed of, nor is it something that I lord over people who are sexual active. It is something I am convicted about, and not something that makes me a "freak." Why is it okay to engage in all sorts of sexual behavior but not to remain chaste? Why isn't hooking up portrayed as the unnatural route instead of abstinence (which, by the way, was mocked on The Office this past week, too)? Why am I the one with the problem?

With a movie entitle, "The Virginity Hit," out in select theaters documenting a young boy's loss of virginity and mocking the experience, I want to scream loud and proud that this is not a disease, not something freakish. Will you join me?

Blasted Nature

2010-10-16T08:00:00.000-04:00

You know that song "I Enjoy Being a Girl" Here it is just in case:
I pretty much feel this way sans the seductive looks and dancing in lingerie, but give me pink, frills, poofs, and curls any day!

But other days, I just want to be a metaphysical rebel - like rebel against the very metaphysics of being a woman. Seriously - why do I have to be hung up on the feeling of being loved and loving someone else? Women, I believe, experience this in a way totally different from men. I believe that our desire to be loved by that "brave and free male" that our lovely lady above sings about is so utterly and metaphysically female. And I hate/love it! I hate it because of my previous experiences this year, as you might guess. I hate not being able to shut off my emotions sometimes and I just want to rebel.

Does anyone else feel a little split like me, or am I just one of the crazies? Probably the latter....So perhaps you might be able to give me some suggestions!